Viral: Back by popular demand is Itachi talks about stuff. Last time he talked about just the stuff that affected him. But after spending a day at an anime convention, he's good and pissed. Right Itachi?

Itachi: I'm pissed!

Viral: Damn straight. Now here's the newest Itachi talks about stuff!

Disclaimer: My fangirl Girlfriend doesnt like yaoi (Yay!) But I don't own Naruto.

(Posted a few weeks after anime supercon)

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Okay I'm back ladies and gentlemen. After spending some time at An anime convention, I realized that there are just some things that piss not only me off, but most of the cast and crew.

First off, how big of a brain do you require to make yourself look like me? Because I saw so many horrible look alikes. I mean when you compare them to me, I look sooooo much better. Some were people with a black shirt with red markered in clouds and black lines down their face. Others were of me in SNJ form. (Sexy no Jutsu for those who can't tell). Although I do have to admit the SNJ's did look good. Even though it was me. Wait, now I'm confused...

'Itachi takes this time to regather his thoughts and remember what he was talking about.'

Okay! Second, it seems that every 5 minutes I was being asked to do Yaoi with some other Naruto character, and that it would be "Cute" Or that they would pay me if I did just a little bit for them.

Let me tell you this fangirls there is no amount of money in the world that I would Yaoi for. And Please If I was the least bit interested in it then I would choose... well I'd best not put those idea's in your head.

Viral:(Coughs) Sasuke.

What was that?!

Viral: Nothing, nothing.

What are you doing here anyway Viral? Your supposed to be recovering from 3 days of no sleep or food.

Viral: I am asleep. This is my inner mind talking to you. It makes it easier on me to talk and rest at the same time.

So why does your inner mind look like Master Chief from Halo?

Viral: Because the armor looks cool. Now by the way your shipment came in. I've got the Dvd player set up and it's all ready to go.

Seriously?

Viral: Yep, just finish your rant and we can get watching. Later (Walks out)

Well anyway. Third! I can't stand the glomping!! It's...fun, until the 5th time it happens!!!! Then your running for your life trying to save what's left of your dignity, and keep the rare figures you bought in one piece.

Viral: Tell them about the hentai showing you went to.

SHUT UP!!

Viral: It was awesome. Itachi's in the Hentai room watching it when suddenly a fangirl decides to...

Tsukuyomi!!

(About three seconds pass before a blood curdling scream is heard)

Good, he should be out for a few hours. Now after trying to survive fangirls and the eviler fanboys, I had a chance to chill with some of my friends. They wern't trying to glomp me or me in a Yaoi situation. We were relaxing when the most horrifying words echoed through the hotel.

OMFG IT'S ITACHI AND A SASUKE!!! LET'S GET THEM TO MAKE OUT!!!

The very second, Me and the Sasuke cosplayer heard this, we bolted for the nearest bathroom. No way the fangirls would follow us there. I was right. But there was no way out. So how did we escape?

Viral: (Moans in sleep) I tossed a yaoi doujin in the crowd and got their mind off of them for a few moments...

True. Got out of there and hid in the hotel room for an hour before changing into something casual and went back. Not a single fan touched me.

Well getting off topic, Have any of you noticed that most of the Ed Elric cosplayers are female? Barely any guy's who do it. Along with Sasuke. It's hard to pick up a chick when you happen to see them dressed as...well...some dude you think kicks ass.

Now for one last thing. I went to a Yaoi dating game because a friend tricked me into it...and let me just say, It wasn't all that bad. It was actually funny. There was good news, bad news and Funny news after it ended.

Bad News, their video camera died so I couldn't record it for them. Good news, it wasn't bad. It was fun. And the funny news...

I asked the Suichi who was playing this question: (I had a meatwad squish ball when I asked this) This is meat. Now say this is your partners. Do you play with it? Or Beat it? Let me say, a lot of people laughed at this. Too bad no one really was able to record it. It was something you had to be there for.

Well, that's it for me. I've been needing a break since then and well it also feels good to rant on about some stuff. Until next time, see you around!

Viral: (Still Ko'd but can still talk) Don't forget to tell them about you kissing that one guy because you were drunk and felt lonely...

Okay that's it your dead. Prepare to hang over my fire place!!!!

(Insert screams of agony, torture and vomiting.)

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Kuroi Ranpu: Hey Itachi you feeling like doing another "Itachi talks about stuff" in the future?

Itachi: Well maybe...but after the Blades of A Feather story is finished... and after Viral wakes up from his coma.

Kuroi: Well I can't wait to direct it. See you all later!!!

Viral: ...