This is my first fanfic ever. I would love to know what you all think! Was it easy to follow with the present, and the flashbacks? Or should I blatantly say "flashback" ? ALSO...I'm just letting everyone, who reads it, at this point it might take me a while to update. The way that my mind works is not in order. So I might begin writing and decide that that should be later in the story. It took be about a week to finalize this. Thank you!
The past scares me. It haunts me. I do not know if I am truly ready to return. I guess that there is no better way, then to just dive back into my life. I mean obviously, there is a reason that it has taken me five years to come back home.
Who am I? My name is Clare Diane Edwards. I am currently residing in Toronto, Canada. It is time to come back to reality. For the past five years of my life, I have been running away. I ran away when I was 17 years old. I have been running away from my parents, and the boy who broke my heart. I have mainly been running because of the boy. I have not changed much, I still love the unordinary, and I still love the unexpected. Maybe that was what led me to where I am today.
As I was walking, from the corner of my eye, I saw him. Eli Goldsworthy. The boy who broke my heart. Did he see me? I didn't even know. I looked away and kept walking.
"Clare Edwards? Is that you?" I wanted to ignore him and keep walking. I couldn't help but think of the first time I ever laid my eyes on him. He was different. Not different, in a bad way. Just different. I mean, from my brief experience before him, I dated the popular jock. Eli on the other hand, was the epitome of the opposite. In my case, the epitome of love at first sight.
I turned my head, "Hey you… long time no, uh, see."
Flashback.
It was only a few weeks into grade 10; I was changing my image from the small quiet girl who no one noticed, to the girl with the bright blue eyes. There it was that black hearse, which later held onto so many memories, so dearly. I was talking to my best friend Alli. She accidentally knocked my glasses right out of my hands, and beneath a black wheel. They drove right over them. Right in front of me, was the car. And out of the car, came a boy, who I yearned to know more about. He was wearing all black. From head to toe. A black blazer, a black shirt, blacked faded jeans, and black shoes. He bent down to pick up my glasses, "I think they're dead." He looked up with that smirk. His smirk startled me, every single time.
As he handed me my glasses, I was shaken. I could barely find the words. "It's okay, I uh… I don't need them anymore. I got…" I paused, "Laser surgery."
He looked at me with those dark green eyes, nearly undressing me at the scene. "You have pretty eyes."
I nearly choked, but managed to choke up a, "thanks, I'll uh… See ya around?"
"Guess you will," he said as he turned around and got back into his hearse. I needed to know him. I couldn't stop thinking about him. His face was flashing in front of my eyes.
End Flashback.
"So are you back in Toronto?" He looked at me, with that ever so familiar smirk. It never failed to startle me. Even after so many years, it still drew me in, and this is what I was afraid of.
"For the time being, I wanted to see my parents. I wanted to see, uh, well I guess I just missed home."
"Well Toronto sure as hell has missed you. It hasn't been the same since..." And he stopped himself. We both knew what he was going to say. Maybe it was for the better that he shut his mouth. "Well you know, I've missed you."
"Well, I've sure as hell missed everything too..." I felt it. That awkward silence that always appeared when two loves parted from one another. I had never felt this with Eli. But then again, we never exactly had the opportunity for that awkward silence.
"Hey, Clare. We should catch up; maybe we can meet at The Dot this afternoon?"
"Yeah sure. Eli I would like that." Would I like that? Or would it only bring back the pain.
As I walked away from Eli, it only brought back the memories. I knew it was a bad idea to come home, but regardless, it was a bad idea not to come home. I needed to figure things out, and I needed to form ties with my past so that I could throw it away.
I wondered what happened to everyone else. After a while I began to lose touch with Alli, Adam, and Jenna. I knew that Alli came back to Degrassi. She and Drew did not get back together; and it was for the better. It is strange to think that after they broke up, Alli became more independent and finally realized that she did not need a boy friend to survive high school. Adam went off to university and for all I know is still there doing something genius with his life. Jenna had her baby, and a few months later she and KC broke up. I think that he still helps to this day; he wanted to be a part of her son's live, but soon I lost touch with her as well. We never became close again, but she was able to help me with certain things that I was going through.