Shit.

We were standing in the clearing, watching as the walking prozac pill taught us the better way to maim, and therefore kill, a leech. He was currently fighting it out with Barbie, and it was hard to keep focus on them, they were moving so fast. A punch here, a kick there... hell, he'd even managed to flip her over.

You can't tell me that the big bad Leah Clearwater is intimidated by a... blonde bloodsucker! Embry laughed in his mind, causing me to turn and growl at him.

Fuck you, Call. I am not intimidated by the emo-boy vamp.

I shook my head as I sat back on my haunches, taking in the scene before me, watching closely what each and every leech was doing, making notes mentally.

Okay guys, round up. Sam's voice broke through into my mind. We'll meet up with the Cullen's again soon.

I turned tail and ran, heading back into La Push territory, ignoring the chattering from the rest of the pack members in my head. It was mostly about the training we just witnessed, but there were some errant comments from those imprinted boys about their girls, and about what they might or might not have wanted to do with them. I really hoped that Seth wasn't paying attention, because some of the thoughts were graphic, R rated porn that was even too much for me at some point.

The silence that I had created in my mind at that moment was blissful – I had never been so thankful for the fact that I could block out Sam's annoying, bossy voice whenever I wanted to, and push the rest of the pack onto the back burner, mental-voice-communication wise.

The guys all went straight towards the beach, in the direction of Sam and Emily's cottage, while I detoured, taking the route to the cliffs that I had burned into my memory.

I don't need to see Alpha-wannabe and scar-face all kissy kissy, I thought with a sneer, forgetting to put up my mental blocks. Yes, I was bitter about it still, but honestly? I used my bitterness to cover up the self hatred and pain I felt every time I saw them.

Leah, for the last time, get over it! Paul's voice boomed through, and Sam inadvertently started thinking about Emily, an image of them in bed together surfacing in my head. I let out a soft whine, feeling my shattered heart breaking further before taking off at a faster pace, reaching the cliffs quickly.

I phased back as I heard the guys all complaining about me, grabbing the shorts and tank from the strap around my ankle. I slipped them on, ignoring the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.

"He's a fucking idiot, you know."

I turned my head as I heard the voice, the figure of Jacob filling my line of vision. I scoffed, falling to the floor and pulling my knees to my chest.

"That's not what you said a few minutes ago, when you were laughing with the others."

I heard him sighing, before he sat down next to me. "You need to let it go, Leah. Paul is right, you need to move on."

"Oh, because you're moving on from Isabella fucking Swan!" I stood, feeling anger rising in my form already, staring Jacob down. My body began to shake as the fury doubled within me.

"You can preach, Jacob, but make sure you think through what you want to say, before you fucking open your mouth."

"This," he growled, getting up in my face as he held a finger to my chest. "This is completely different to whatever you're feeling."

"And how would you know that?" I slapped his hand away. "How do you know how I feel each time I see them, or hear about them? Huh? It's different for you."

"How do you know it's different? How do you know that I don't feel the very exact way I know you feel each time?" He moved closer to me, a fire burning in his eyes. I backed away from him, shaking my head.

"You can't know how I feel. Bella has a fucking choice, she still may choose you. Sam? He'll never come back to me. And you wanna know the best part? I not only lost my boyfriend to my cousin, but I also lost my best friend. Emily's not the same as she used to be, and it's all his damn fault. So back off, Black, and leave me the fuck alone."

I never saw or heard his reaction as I ran towards the forest, losing myself in the trees. I may not have phased, but I was still one of the fastest runners – still much faster than Jacob. I heard him attempt to follow me, but I heard him cursing my retreating figure as I pulled further away.

Seeing as my relaxation spot was being held hostage by Jacob, I went towards my secret place that no one knew of – a hidden cave deep within the cliffs that you could only get to if you knew where to swim, and how deep to go.

I weaved through the trees and moved down the cliff, stopping by the edge of the water and stripping off. It always felt more relaxing to swim there naked, and to hide out there, as it was just more peaceful.

I hid my clothes behind a small sand dune, before arching my back and diving into the water, feeling the cool waves wrapping around my body, comforting me. I swam deep into the ocean, watching the seaweed floating past me. I angled my body slightly, slipping through the small opening that lead to the passage way which would eventually take me to my cave.

As I entered my hidden place, I broke through the surface of the water, pressing my palms flat against the rocky floor, lifting my body out. I felt as all my muscles tensed and flexed, shifting my weight around as I did the simplest of tasks. I rolled over once I was out of the water, looking up at the ceiling of the cave, watching the reflections of the water.

I was so happy I had found this place, and even happier that I had managed to successfully bring some kind of lighting down to illuminate the cavern, as it truly was special. I had even gathered some old blankets to lay down on – I just needed to dry them out after the swim.

The cavern was like my second home. One which no one knew about, and one which would forever stay mine, and mine alone.

I was unaware of how much time had passed; there was no clock down here with me, and I couldn't tell by the temperature of the air, as being a wolf with naturally hot skin, everything feels warm.

But I had figured I'd been alone for at least three hours, maybe more, so I dove back into the water, swimming back towards the surface. I quickly dressed before running back home, suddenly feeling the weariness in my muscles with every step closer I got to home.

I threw the front door open once I reached it, slamming it shut without a care in the world as I went straight for my bedroom. Once in there, I stripped from my slightly damp clothing – again, werewolf heat had dried them out – and into my robe, gathering clean sleepwear before moving into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I always made sure to lock it these days, because Seth apparently thought that he didn't need to knock or announce himself before entering the bathroom now he was a wolf. He used to do it all the time before, so no one ever locked any doors, except at night or when visitors were over.

Setting the water in the shower to hot, I slipped beneath the spray, letting it run over my body, soaking my skin and hair. I lazily washed everywhere, including my now short hair – another thing I hated Sam for; he had all but alpha-commanded me to cut my hair.

Stepping out the shower, I wrapped a towel around my hair before drying off, slipping on my sleep clothes before heading down the stairs, where Mom sat at the kitchen table.

"Good evening, Leah," she said pointedly, staring at me as I moved around the kitchen, shuffling between the fridge and the pantry.

"Yeah, hi Mom." I finally grabbed out a box of cereal, setting it on the table as I found a bowl and spoon, setting them down with it.

"I don't know what to do with you any more," I heard her mutter, following up the comment with a sigh.

"Then don't bother." She looked up at me, shocked.

"Werewolf hearing, remember?" I rolled my eyes at her as I got out the milk, pouring everything into the bowl, before proceeding to much down on it.

"Please, Leah... you need to do something with your life. Not just mope around here day after day, only going out of the house to patrol."

"Do something with my life?" I scoffed, throwing my spoon into the bowl. "Sue, don't you see? I can't do anything while I'm here, part of the pack. They rule my actions."

"Honey, -"

"No, Sue. Don't you get it? I am part of the pack, I fall under Sam's reign, and you know what he's done? He's forbidden anyone to leave La Push or Forks. There are no decent colleges here; just the tribal community college and Forks' community college. You can't expect me to get a "decent" education at either of them. You can't expect me to be able to "do something with my life"."

I raised myself from the chair, glaring at Sue. "I just want you and everyone else to but out of my life!"

In true Leah Clearwater fashion, I stormed up to my room, slamming the door shut. I slid down to the floor, my back against the door as I pulled my knees to my chest, trying my hardest not to cry.

"I want my life back," I whispered into the emptiness of my bedroom. "I want my Dad back... and most of all, I want these feelings for... him gone."

I could feel the undercurrent of love bubbling in my chest. The strange part was, I no longer knew who the love needed to be directed to.

I want to know.