He blamed Yong Soo, of course. If that damn Korean boy hadn't been yelling and tickling him, trying to claim his breasts and kiss him, he wouldn't have missed the figure. He, himself, was also condemned though. Just because they were on this abandoned highway, driving in the middle of nowhere at night, he thought nothing could ever go wrong.
But it did.
The tyres screeched, leaving two long, deep tracks behind. The braking impact flung them forward. Yong Soo's face nearly collided with the window. Leon gasped. The man they had just rolled over blurted out a faint groan.
"What're you doing da-ze?" Yong Soo stared at him in horror.
"I'm, like, gonna check on him." Leon opened the car door and hopped out, despite Yong Soo's reluctance. He saw the man he had hit.
He had an awfully pale face. Light blond hair. Blood drenched the corners of his lips. His left elbow was dislodged. A bone was sticking out of his thigh. A large gash cut across his stomach. His blue eyes shimmered. Was it the the light from the lamp post or was it the star?
Iron in the air.
Time ceased.
His lips quavered. A blood-stained cross barrette in his hand. He was muttering.
"Ice…"
Leon dashed forward and kneeled down.
"Wait!" Yong Soo smacked his hand away. "Don't touch him."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Leon glared at his best friend and growled, "he needs help. Call the ambulance!"
"You're kidding, right?" Yong Soo shook his head with an agonised expression, "he's dying."
Leon frowned and glanced back down at the tattered body. True the chest rose and fell no more. Those eyes remained half-closed. Inane. Staring out to the sky without a blink. His hand had dropped to a side. His last word slipped out together with torrents of blood.
"Shit…" Leon stumbled back. Yong Soo caught his shoulders. "What do we do now?"
"Go," Yong Soo said solemnly and pulled his stunned friend back into the car. "Go before anyone comes da-ze!"
"We can't do that!"
"What? You want someone to come and arrest us?" Yong Soo yelped. "We'll be screwed."
"We can't just…" Leon grunted and stared back at the corpse.
"Drive, Leon, or we're gonna spend the rest of our life in jail!" Yong Soo whined. "I don't wanna get prosecuted. Please! Don't do this to us!"
He gripped and shook him. Tears glittered in his dark orbs. He shot Leon a pleading stare and gestured him to start the engine.
The Chinese boy placed his shivering hands on the wheel. The car sprang back to life. He steered away from the body and drove ahead.
"No one will know," Yong Soo mumbled. "It's just an accident da-ze. He came running out of nowhere. It isn't your fault."
Leon didn't reply him.
He was sobbing the entire journey.
oOo
Amethyst eyes. Light blond hair. Pale face.
Funny he never noticed how gorgeous Emil was when they met.
His skin was almost translucent under illumination. It shone in the dark.
Leon raised his hands to fondle those cheeks. Their lips smashed against each other fiercely. His tongue twirled inside his mouth. The taste of liquorice melted slowly in his gum. Emil hunched forward and shoved him up against the pillow. The mattress slumped a little as they flopped down violently.
His warm body writhed and squirmed beneath his cold stare. Emil withdrew from the kiss. Leon grunted. His cheeks burnt. He found it hard to breathe. Those teeth glided across his neck and delved deep into his shoulder blade. He stifled a moan.
Clothes scattered on the floor. Glass bottles shattered into pieces.
Blood and alcohol.
Sweet touches and callous kisses.
Emil ripped off his shirt and tossed the garment aside. The buttons went flying. Leon ignored the painful grip Emil had on his bare chest. The light-haired boy bent down and kissed him again. His hands moved down to unbuckle his belt. He groaned when his arousal broke free from the confinements.
They stopped to gasp for air. Leon wished Emil would say something. Hum something sweet and reassuring. At least, say he loves him. He rose a little but got pinned down instantly. Liquor flowed in his veins. Emil's stare warned him not to move.
He had no idea why he would comply with him without putting up a fight. There was something about Emil he couldn't quite resist or counteract.
When the first finger entered him, haze clouded his head. He didn't moan. He was so lost in that uncanny wave of pain and heat. Emil wasn't particularly gentle with his work. He added another digit without a word. Leon looked away and focused on the lamp on the nightstand. Emil noticed this. He grabbed his partner's hair and yanked it, turning his chin back so that he would face him while he fucked him senseless.
He plunged in the third digit. Still not a satisfactory response was elicited from Leon. Emil started getting impatient. He moved them around carelessly. The pain finally hit the other boy. He groaned softly. His eyes darted to the drawer imploringly. It didn't look like Emil was going to use any lube.
As he began to adjust to the intrusion, Emil decided to seize the opportunity to remove all his fingers abruptly. Leon frowned. His lips parted a little but no words leaked out. Emil thrust into him rather unexpectedly. The preparation did nothing to benefit him. He moaned loudly. That was what Emil wanted to hear.
There was no mercy in his erratic thrusts. The drunkenness helped quench the pain. Leon tricked his own mind to dwell on the limited pleasure. He had to. Emil hoisted his legs and wrapped them around his waist.
He wasn't sure why he was letting him do this to him.
Emil's eyes shared such an eerie resemblance with that guy's orbs. He could never forget the way that young man stared at him a second before his death.
His blood splattered all over the road. His battered flesh. His crushed bones. His gloomy last word. They all came back to haunt him.
Haze. Iron. Sweat.
Pain. Pleasure.
Love. Hate.
Emil pulled out, drawing a grunt from the boy underneath. He flipped Leon over so that he was on all fours. He shoved himself in again. He clasped a chunk of those dark locks and pulled them hard. Leon's grip tightened around the sheet. He gritted his teeth. Crimson liquid trickled down his thighs. He glimpsed Emil and muttered, "Stop."
The pale boy let go of his hair and smirked. It was the first time Leon saw him smile, ever since they started dating each other.
He was alone in the bar, drowning himself in alcohol. Leon had watched with much curiosity. He approached the Icelandic boy and sat down next to him. They introduced themselves and chatted.
Leon remembered asking Emil, "Why do you, like, look so depressed?"
Emil had looked at him with an anguished expression. He held his hand and tilted his head.
"Say, Leon," he had asked glumly, "have you ever lost someone you love?"
Leon didn't answer him. At that time, he just thought Emil looked so delicate and pitiable. He had never once seen someone with such lonely eyes. And the drinks…he looked like his whole life had depended on the beer.
Leon gave him his number that night, told him that he could lend a hand anytime he wanted. Emil had nodded and taken his offer. They started texting each other and meeting up. Leon was doing a Bachelor's degree in a local university. Emil would often wait for him near his campus. They went out, talked, watched movies, dined... He took it as a sign that they were dating.
Today was his graduation. He had received certificates, honours and awards. All his family and friends were there to celebrate his achievements. Everyone was so proud of him. They had everything planned out. He was going to work in his father's corporation. He was going to be yet another successful man. He would have everything he wanted. Like he always had.
And then, Emil came.
He didn't attend his graduation ceremony. Leon had called him a couple of times. Texted him. Asked if he was okay. After they threw a party in the evening, Emil appeared on his porch. He didn't say anything. Leon got disconcerted. He wondered if Emil was sick. He followed him to his home. There, everything started to go astray.
Emil said he wanted to drink. So they drank. He wouldn't reveal why he didn't go to his graduation or why he was so determined to get drunk. They ended up in bed. He didn't mind giving his first time to Emil if that made him happy.
But right from the beginning of their kisses, something was wrong. The glimmer in Emil's eyes intimidated him. He looked like someone who wanted to squash a fly or tear an unpleasant old toy into shreds. Leon blamed it on the bad mood, but frankly, he just couldn't comprehend Emil.
Still, he let him hold his body, leave traces all over his skin and make his mind crazy.
Emil came with a grunt. Soon after his own release, Leon collapsed. The hot, thick fluid burnt his insides. He turned to face Emil, who stared down at him nonchalantly. Not the slightest bit of genuine care. His eyes were cold. So cold Leon wanted to cry.
"Did I, like, do something wrong?" he broke down.
He likes Emil. Hell, he loves him.
If only he would just smile for him and say that he loves him back.
Even once is fine.
He had thought that their first time would be sweet and memorable.
But no, it was downright warped.
He couldn't stand the way Emil stared at him like he was a freak. Like he was something to ruin and eliminate.
"Emil?"
The boy smiled and took the lamp from the nightstand. Leon's eyes widened. The hard object struck his head. Warm liquid dripped down his forehead. He fainted.
"Sweet dreams."
oOo
"Bloody hell, what do you think you were doing?" Arthur smacked his son hard on the face.
Leon staggered a little and muttered an apology.
"I didn't raise you to commit a crime!"
"I'll, like, go to the police and confess now…" Leon said, biting his lips hard.
Arthur smacked him again.
"Are you a fool? I will not have you trying to ruin your future. The future we have painstakingly prepared for you!"
Leon stared at his father in astonishment.
"What…What do you mean?"
"They caught your car on CCTV," Arthur said calmly. He sat down on his armchair and crossed his legs. "But they didn't catch you. I've already found a substitute. Paid him to take your place. Just tell them your car was stolen."
"But…"
"Do you want to go to jail and tarnish this family's reputation?"
"No…"
"Then do as I say!"
Leon bounced up on the floor and gasped. Pain shot up his spine. His entire body ached. He tried to move but his ankles were chained to the leg of a ragged bed. He touched the wound on his head. The blood had dried. He looked around in panic.
The room had no windows. The only dim light came from a lamp far away. Besides the bed, there was only a wooden desk.
He wondered how long he had slept, and if anyone would ever find him.
"There's nothing money can't settle, they say." Emil leant against the door and smirked. "I guess that's true."
"Emil?" Leon crawled forward but the chain prevented him from reaching the other boy. "What's this? What're you, like, doing?"
"Does it hurt?"
Leon frowned and looked down at his bruises. Now that he was reminded, they did hurt a lot.
He wasn't going to complain though. He blushed when he realised that he had practically nothing on.
Emil uncrossed his arms and trod towards his partner. He squatted down and lifted his chin.
"Tell me." He smiled and brushed Leon's bangs gently, "what happened on December the twenty-fourth five years ago?"
Leon's face paled. He flinched from Emil's touch and averted his gaze.
"While you were on your way to a Christmas party at seven o'clock." Emil clutched his hair and hauled him up, "what happened?"
"I…"
"Say it."
Tears surfaced his eyes as he stared into Emil's hard, cold gaze.
"I'm sorry."
"Right." Emil snorted and released him. "Do you even remember him?"
"Emil…"
"Blue eyes. Light blond hair. Pale face. A cross barrette in his hand. Sounds familiar to you?"
Leon gulped.
That was when he caught the picture on the wall. Why had he never paid any attention to it before?
Emil walked over and pointed to the slender boy standing next to him in the photo. They were both in their middle school uniforms. They looked younger then, but their faces hadn't changed much. There was slight similarity in their facial structures and complexion.
"He's my brother. Lukas Bondevik. We don't have the same surname because our parents are divorced."
Leon stared at Emil silently.
"We have been close since we were kids. He always looked after me. We got separated in middle school. I missed him so much. We waited for a long, long time. Until three years ago, we broke free from our parents' control. We finally got to reunite again. And look what happened?"
"I'm so sorry." Leon shuddered.
"I tried to convince myself that it was an accident," Emil said monotonously and paced around the room. "That you didn't mean it. That maybe God didn't want us to meet again. But gosh, it hurt so bad. When one makes a mistake, he tries to correct it and redeem himself. You, instead, chose to flee with your little buddy. I thought you would get into some deep shit after this but no…they let you go because your god damn corrupt father bribed the politicians and found you a substitute. You moved on like nothing's ever happened, like you've never killed someone and run away. You finished your degree and graduated. Ready to become successful and remain so for the rest of your life."
"Please," Leon shut his eyes and begged. "Stop it…"
"Just how unfair is this world?" Emil laughed, tapping the floor with his left boot. "Fortunately, I was able to bump into you in the bar that night. I finally got the chance to meet my brother's murderer. I spent so much time tracking you down. I watched you on the campus. I stalked you. I dug up your secrets. I was so desperate. Even if they got you a substitute, I would still hunt you down."
He yanked the chain. Leon fell and groaned.
"Funny that you actually took an interest in me," Emil continued. He dragged the other boy across the room and slammed his head on the wall. "I thought I was going lucky."
"Are you, like, gonna kill me?" Leon asked.
"You're tougher than I thought." Emil giggled and cupped his cheeks.
"It's, like, totally fine, Emil." Leon smiled with tears. "It's okay for you to avenge your brother. I don't mind. You can kill me. Drive a car. Hit and roll over me. You got one thing wrong though. I have, like, never, ever forgotten about that incident. It's been haunting me since. Your brother's eyes. Your eyes. I know there's a connection between things. And I'm guilty."
Emil frowned and let go of Leon's face.
"You asked me if I have ever lost someone I love." Leon looked down to the ground sheepishly. "To be honest, I haven't…so I would, like, never be able to understand your feelings."
"Of course, you don't. You know nothing about the loss." Emil scowled, furious. "And don't try to act noble. I will never forgive you."
"I know." Leon nodded. "No one should be forgiven for a sin like that."
"I want you to suffer," Emil sobbed, "suffer the way I did. I want that guilt to haunt you forever. I will never kill you because death would be a relief. You have no idea the grief the living has to go through every day and night."
"Emil…what are you…"
The boy stepped back slowly. His hands slid into his pockets. He grinned and took out a pistol.
"You love me, don't you?"
"No, don't," Leon yelled.
Emil pointed the gun to his head.
"Stop it, Emil! Damn it, I'll do anything…please…"
He released the safety and pulled the trigger.
BANG!
The bullet went straight to the wall. The pistol swept across the floor.
The police officer pinned him down. Emil groaned and struggled.
"Leon, are you alright da-ze!" Yong Soo's voice echoed loudly. He barged into the room with more armed officers. They cut off the chain and helped Leon up.
It had taken them hours to find the place. Three days since Leon's missing.
Emil cried.
He watched.
Tears wouldn't stop cascading down his face.
oOo
The cell door creaked open. The officer shoved Leon in. Two beds lined up along the wall opposite each other. The room was dark and cold.
Emil didn't stir from his position. His eyes fixated on the window bars. Light crept in through the narrow gaps. His hair looked paler than usual.
Leon put down his belongings on the bed and sat down. Neither wanted to speak first.
His grudge against Leon had died out. For this reason, Emil loathed himself even more.
His plan failed. He survived. He would never meet Lukas again.
Damn it.
Nothing sounds right anymore.
"I'm, like, so sorry," Leon mumbled.
That infuriated Emil. He hated it when Leon apologised. As if he truly was guilty.
Emil whipped around and glared at the other inmate.
Leon kept his head low, his face shadowed by his unkempt bangs. He looked ill and exhausted. The clothes hung loosely around his thin body. As if he had been starving himself for days.
He had confessed in court and demanded a sentence. The news went viral. His parents were utterly disappointed. His father was convicted of bribery and corruption. The family business went down the drain after the scandal. He didn't tell the others that Yong Soo was his accomplice.
Emil stood up and stomped towards Leon. He grabbed his collar and raised his fist.
But he could never bring it down to punch his pallid face.
Leon looked up when Emil's tears landed on his hair.
"Why," he cried, "I can't even hit you…"
"Emil?" Leon whispered, tugging the other boy's sleeves.
His voice was so tender. So sincere. So miserable.
It made his heart flutter.
He had betrayed Lukas.
He had betrayed his own heart.
Emil fell to his knees. Leon hugged him. The warmth of his body was surprisingly comforting. He burrowed his face into his shoulder.
They cried together.
A/N: This is one of the most twisted IceHong stories I've ever written. The darkness kinda stands next to Cold Hearts and Stay. Anyway, it's possible to continue this in multiple chapters. Just wondering if anyone would want to read further and explore their past and present life in prison. Tell me what you think and I may consider continuing this thing :3