Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders, nor do I own 'How I Go' by Yellowcard.

xxxxx

"…I could tell you the wildest of tales…"

Arms tore from the darkness, reaching out for me. I evaded them, stumbling a little as I quickened my pace. My pulse was rushing, my head spinning out of control as I ran. I didn't know where I was going, but I needed to get away. Arms attempted to stop me, to drag me away into the shadows, but I brushed them away unthinkingly. Why wouldn't they let me run? Why couldn't they understand my horror?

It was a dream… It had to be a dream…

A scream pierced the blackness, and a crimson glow poured over my surroundings. Hundreds of wild, lashing—burning—red tongues clawed up into the air behind me, and I knew then what it was I was running from. Voices I was unfamiliar with shouted after me, and the arms continued to attempt to drag me away, but still I ran. I could do nothing else but run, to flee the horrifying scene and hope to escape with my life.

I realized that the continuous, never-ending scream was coming from none but my own vocals. My knees went weak, and I was trembling so horribly that it was almost painful. Arms grabbed me, but this time I had not the strength to shove them away. I surrendered myself to the soft voices, the blur of faces, and was taken into the arms of one of the shadows. They shushed me, and I went silent. They embraced me, and I went limp.

It was a dream… It had to be a dream…

I sat upright in a swift motion, banging my head on something hard as I went. I winced, rubbing my forehead. I was breathing heavily, cold sweat trickling down my face and neck. There was a window in front of me, and I stared out of it blankly until I realized the images on the other side were moving. I was in a car.

Then the memories came flooding back, and I felt a sting tear through my chest. I looked into the front seat, where my mother was driving and my little sister was in the passenger seat, propped up on her knees and facing me. Her big green eyes stared at me with idle curiosity.

"What was you dreaming about?" she asked in that childish tone that was loveable and annoying at the same time.

"Nothing, Jade," I answered softly, but my voice gave me away—to Mom, at least. Jade shrugged, and turned back around, but I caught Mom glance at me from the mirror. I caught her sigh. Jade didn't know; she was too young to realize what had happened that night. It was hard to believe that it was only last year.

It was even harder to believe that he was gone.

I wasn't sure why we were moving. Mom said that we would be closer to her family in Oklahoma—I didn't even know she had family in Oklahoma. They were in some town called Tulsa, she had told me.

I didn't want to move. I wanted to stay in Florida, where I had friends and where Dad's family was. I didn't know much of Mom's family. I met one of her sisters one time, her older sister, I think, but it was a long time ago. In Florida, I saw Dad's family almost every day because we lived so close to each other. I loved it there—it was my home, and now that he was gone we were moving. Just because of one stupid fire we were moving…

"Brush your hair, please, Desiree," Mom said with a sigh. "We're almost there, and you look horrible."

"We're in Tulsa already?" I asked, bewildered. How long had I been asleep?

"Yes, darling," Mom answered. I could tell she was agitated that I wasn't attempting to pull a brush through the disarray of frizz that she called 'hair'. "Now, Desiree, please brush your hair."

I huffed out an aggravated breath, extending my hand. Jade dug around for the brush, and then handed it to me with a giggle.

"Desi's hair is messed up!" she squealed, erupting into fits of laughter.

I smiled weakly at her as I yanked the brush through my hair, attempting to make it look halfway decent. It would take a miracle to make my hair look decent. It tended to decide that being brushed was overrated, so about five minutes after I last brushed it, it would start to mess up again. I gave up on my hair a long time ago, but Mom is determined to make it look nice.

It didn't even have a snowball's chance in heck.

After at least a minute or two of tugging at my hair with the brush, I decided that it wasn't going to get any better, and tossed it to the side without bothering to see where it landed. I shifted, trying to get a good look at myself from the rear-view mirror.

I didn't look so bad, I decided—no better than I usually did, but I'd looked worse. Now I just looked tired. That was normal. I had looked tired for weeks now, always with dark circles beneath my eyes and my face paler than usual. I guess that it was just a result of numerous sleepless nights, when I was too afraid to surrender myself to rest—too afraid to let down my defenses.

"We should be there in about fifteen minutes or so," Mom informed Jade and myself. Looking out the window, I saw the town that was my new home. I hated it already.

Where were the groups of giggling girls, shopping together and talking about all of their boyfriends and such? Where were the guys, strutting around and trying to look cooler than all of their friends?

My stomach contorted into a painful knot, and I wanted to jump out of the car and start running back to Florida. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately, running away from my problems and fears.

I could never consider this place home, not in a million years.

I stared out the window in horror as we passed my new school—why was it so… small? I felt a tight knot spring up in my throat, and tried to focus on not crying. Looking away abruptly, I bent down awkwardly and put my head between my knees.

I'd heard that when you felt like you were going to throw up or something, this helped, but apparently it didn't work when you were in a car, because it only made me feel even worse.

"Desiree, are you alright?" Mom asked.

"I'm fine," I choked out, sitting up and clasping my sweaty palms together as tight as possible. "I hate this place, Mom."

She sighed. "We're going to be closer to your Grandmother this way, darling. Don't you want to get to know your other family, as well?"

No. I was perfectly fine with Dad's family. I didn't need to move to Oklahoma just to meet some bitter old lady who never bothered to call, visit, write, and most of all, who Mom always complained about.

Moms are confusing.

And then the car rolled to a stop, and my head snapped around in disbelief to stare at the house we had pulled up to.

"We're here, girls."

There was an elderly woman standing in the doorway, her face surprisingly warm and gentle. She didn't look like I thought she would—she actually looked like a smaller, frailer version of my mother.

"Grandma! Grandma!" Jade squealed, very aware that this woman was her grandmother. I watched as she scrambled out of the car and charged at the little old lady, shouting with laughter.

"Desiree," Mom said to me, "get out of the car and go meet your grandmother. We're going to be staying with her until we can manage to find a place of our own."

I bit down on my lower lip, gnawing at it, and warily stepped out of our old run-down car. My feet started to move, and I glanced down at them helplessly. Why was I walking? What was I getting myself in to? I hadn't even wanted to be here in the first place!

"Desiree, you got so big," Grandma gasped, her hand coming over her heart. I felt like a character in one of those touchy-feely soap operas. "I haven't seen you since you were a little baby!"

I forced myself to smile weakly at her as she grabbed me by my forearm and pulled both Jade and I into a tight embrace.

"…Tell you all the times that I failed…"