Disclaimer: Song belongs to Plain White T's, and the characters to Hannah Montana.
A/n: To hear the song, go to youtube, search Radios In Heaven and its the first one
Your time has already come and I don't know why
The last thing that I had heard
You were doin' just fine
It seems like just yesterday
I was laughing with you
Playing games at Grandma's house
Well you taught me well, didn't you?
I hope I'm just like you
Tears stream down my cheeks, tears that I don't even realize until Jake wipes at my cheeks, and returns to rubbing my shoulder to calm me.
I know he's just trying to help, but it makes me want to cry even more-And suddenly my quiet sniffling has turned full onto sobbing, and I hold a hand to my face as I let it muffle my noise…I don't want to cause a distruption while the preacher is speaking.
And suddenly Father Garwin has stopped talking and Jackson now stands before us all, looking the best that I've ever seen him in his black tux.
"My dad…Was my idol. He was embarrasing sometimes…But I look at the type of man and father he was, and pray that I'll end up just as great of a person for my son to look up too," Jackson smiles softly at the tiny boy waving at him from his mother's arms, and uses the back of his hand to wipe at his tears, stepping back into place beside his wife.
Silence. And then, Jake nudges me with his elbows. I look into his beautiful eyes, that say 'It's Going To Be Okay.' And that's exactly what I need.
Deep breath. I'm now the one standing in front of all my family and his friends, and I look at each and every one of their faces, one by one and think of what he meant to each of us.
Do they have radios in heaven?
I hope they do
'Cause they're playing my song on the radio
And I'm singing it to you
I open my mouth to speak, and nothing comes out. I can feel the wetness of my cheeks, but I don't bother to wipe them away. I should be allowed to mourn how I choice to.
"I loved my dad. I loved him with all my heart and soul…When my mom died, I could remember being so angry. I remember telling him that I hated God. And he just gave me this big bear hug that he always would give to us. And he told me, 'Bud, God needed your mama. She's up there,' he pointed to up to the stars, 'Dressed up all pretty in white-And you know she looked good in white. Flapping them angel wings everytime she sees you smile. Do you think, she wants to be looking down at us, and see you all full of hate and anger?'"
Pause. I take a second to take in another deep breath, and then continue on,
"I grew up, with him always being there for me. For me and Jackson. Didn't matter what we did, he loved us no matter what. And for a while-It was just us, three…He believe in me. He believed in what I could be. And he was always there to support me…But then I got older. And I made myself a life, and moved away. Not thinking, that my one day I could come home-And he wouldn't be here. Maybe it was me in denial…Because I got those phone calls from the doctor telling me he was getting worse…But I couldn't stand thinking my rock. My superman. My dad...could be dying. And I'd never see him again.
It was so hard losing my mom. It took me years to realize that I need to grow from it, but to still keep her in my heart, and not to forget her-not matter what…So losing my dad…Just the thought hurts…It hurts so much…"
I feel a large hand grasp onto mine, and look at my fiance. I smile at him as he wipes again at my cheeks in vain. I clear my throat,
"I prayed every night that he would get better. That he would walk me down the aisle, in his formal suit, cowboy hat, and boots…" I stopped to laugh weakly, "And then tell embarrasing stories about when I was little to anyone that would listen. And sit on the chair, right in the middle of the stage, and play Staind, and looking over his shoulder at me singing backup, and smile-That little twinkle in his eye."
You left before I had a chance to say goodbye
But that's the way life usually is
It just passes you by
But you can't hold on to regrets and you can't look back
So I'll just be thankful for the times that I had with you
I hope I'm just like you
"I was on tour, when I got the news. And let me tell you-it was the first time in a long time that I had cried. I wished that I could have turned back time to cancel the tour, and spend his last few days left here on Earth with him. Because I hadn't seen him, for so long…If only I had known…But now that I looked back, at least I can say that I remember exactly the last words I told him-I love you. And that's enough.
I'm so thankful that I can say that…Because…Daddy I love you" I look up at the clear blue sky, and pretend that he's looking down with mama, dressed all up in white. And then I kneel beside the grave, with my guitar in hand.
And I began to sing, playing the melody softly so that my voice can soar…Soar to the heavens…So he can hear the song…The song I wrote just for him.
Do they have radios in heaven?
I hope they do
'Cause they're playing my song on the radio
And I'm singing it to you
If they don't have radios in heaven
Here's what I'll do
I can bring my guitar when my time is up and I'll play it for you
The funeral was beautiful. Because he deserved it. He deserved it for all he did. He's probably up there making some stupid joke, and Mama is shaking her head, because she loves him-But his joke is awful. Every year we come back-But I'm so excited that this year, this year we get to bring someone new. My little girl, Destiny Hope Ryan. And she's knows, even now when she's only just beginning to learn to crawl, she smiles-This big, wide, almost toothless smile. That could melt any heart. And I know he's up there-Listening to my song, and sees her smiling-And is flapping them angel wings…
Tell me can you hear me now
If not, then I can try to sing real loud
What's it like up on the other side of the clouds?
I hope I'm just like you
I hope I turn out to be as good as you
R.I.P…Robert Ray Cyrus, loving father, devoted husband, and loyal friend.