I was at my breaking point...
I wanted to be free...
I wanted to run...
I wanted to laugh...
I wanted to dance...
I wanted to know what the freedom people prayed to me for was like...
I wanted both the good and bad emotions of being human...
I wanted to know what it was like to love, to care, to hate, to be jealous and confused.
I wanted my own voice, separate from that of the Heavenly Host...
These are some of the reasons I fell...and I'll never regret doing so, because I'm more human now then I ever could ever have been if I hadn't abandoned my brothers and sisters...
I just wish I could have stopped some of them from dieing...saved a few of them, been able to help Castiel show them what freedom was like...
But I was scared to return to Heaven even after I had my grace back, I didn't want to face everyone afraid of what they'd think...
I figured they thought I fell because of the Apocalypse...That I was scared of the thought of war...
But really...
All I wanted...
Was my FREEDOM...
So I abandoned everything I knew...
I left my friends and my mate behind...
THAT was the price of my freedom