Don't Marry Her, Have me
Disclaimer: I don't own Friends, though I wish I did.
A/N. Here is my attempt at writing, so it's fairly simple.
Rated K+
XXX
Rachel sat in her apartment thinking about Ross and the fact that he'd gone to London to marry that bitch Emily.
"Why did I ever set them two up? Why did I have to like attractive guys like Joshua?" Rachel whined. "I should have known Ross was the only one for me. And now it's too late." Rachel began to cry into her hands just as a song came on the radio. It was Celine Dion's, Don't marry her, have me. Rachel listened carefully to the words…
Think of you with pipe and slippers
Think of her in Bed
Laying there just watching telly
Then think of me instead
I'll never grow so old and flabby
That could never be
Don't marry her, have me
And your love light shines like cardboard
But your work shoes are glistening
She's a PhD in 'I told you so'
You've a knighthood in 'I'm not listening'
She'll grab your Sandra bullocks
Then slowly raise her knee
Don't marry her, have me!
And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, have me!
Those lovely Sunday mornings
With breakfast brought in bed
Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
Trying to peck your head
Those birds will peck your soul out
And throw away the key
Don't marry her, have me!
And the kitchen's always tidy
And the bathroom's always clean
She's a diploma in 'just hiding things'
You've a first in 'low esteem'
When your socks smell of angels
But your life smells of brie
Don't marry her, have me!
And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, have me!
And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, have me…!
Rachel sat there for what seems like hours…days…months even, thinking about the words of the song and how much they related to her current situation.
Then it suddenly hit her like a tsunami washing over her heart,
"What am I doing!?" She quickly stood,
"I can't just let that bitch steal the only man I have ever truly loved and the man I may be destined to spend the rest of my life with, I just…CAN'T; No way am I letting that wedding go ahead."
Rachel picked up the phone and quickly dialed the one person she knews would help her.
Monica's phone suddenly rang while she helped Emily with her dress
She took out her phone from her coat pocket and looked who it was, she saw that it was Rachel and presumed it must be important so she politely excused herself.
She stepped out into the hallway then answered it.
"Hello"
"Monica, thank god! I need a HUGE favour off you." Said Rachel's panicked voice
"Rachel, what are you doing ringing me at this time?"
"Mon, I'm sorry, I really am, but I need you to do me this one thing for me."
"O.K, what is it?" Monica said very confused now.
Rachel muttered into the phone in barely a whisper but through gritted teeth, "Don't let Ross marry Emily"
"WHAT, WHY..?" Monica was shocked
"Because, I'm coming for him to London."
Monica was speechless!
" Rach.. I don't know what to say, it's my brother and he's happy and maybe he's better with Emily…"
"What! Mon, I can't believe I'm hearing this."
"Rach, just hear me out ok?, as I was saying, it might be better for him to marry Emily, because you two, well…your always on and off and it breaks his heart and I don't want him to be hurt anymore, but on the other hand you're my best friend and I don't want you to be sad."
"I understand, but Monica, remember when I was going to confess to Ross then Julie came, remember what you said about how much you wanted me to have Ross and how we would be sisters."
Monica was silent again.
Monica thought about this for a minute then reluctantly agreed "ok, I'll do it!"
"OH THANKYOU SO MUCH." Rachel said relieved
"Your welcome, just get over here quick. I don't know how long I can hold the bitch off for."
"I will, believe me I will"
(Rachel slammed the phone down and ran outside to hail a cab)
"Taxiiii" she screamed.
A taxi pulled up and Rachel quickly jumped in and told the driver to get to Newark Airport and fast!
When the taxi pulled into the Airport terminal, Rachel got out and stuffed some money in the driver's hand then ran frantically to the ticket counter.
"I need a ticket to London and I need to get there now!"
Lady: Ok, we have a space on the next flight, if you hurry it leaves in 10 minutes the lady replied.
"I'll take it!"
Lady: Ok that will be $600 please
Rachel reached into her purse and pulled out a secret credit card that she had kept hidden when the gang had made her stop using her daddy's money, she gave the card to the lady who in return gave Rachel her ticket.
Lady: Gate 4, have a nice flight ma'am.
Rachel ran as fast as she could to Gate 4, JUST in time to get on the plane.
"WAITTT! WAITT!" She shouted as the boarding controller was closing the gate.
Rachel gave the man the ticket and ran down the tunnel onto the plane.
Rachel took in her seat and began thinking about Ross.
To be continued, I do have the next chapter ready to post but i want to let this one sink in first and because it's a cliffy :)