DISCLAIMER: characters belong to people all the way across the country, and they are the ones reaping benefits. I doubt they'll have any interest in my amateur storylines. Although they could use my advice on some issues. The 'handle with care' label for L/L fell off somewhere in season 6, and it's since been kicked in somebody's gutter.
Hey all! Thought I'd take 2006 out with one final Luke/Lorelai storyline. You know how I do. I honestly don't try to be sappy but I'll be darned if I don't go there every single time. It even sickens me sometimes. But, that's neither here nor there, so anywho...the story starts in season 3, I think. It's very AU since several changes have been made. Lorelai is opening the Dragonfly with Sookie, but she is also still working at the Independence, which means many things didn't happen i.e. the Independence burning down. Just go with it. And, I know it's annoying and soooo much work and 'man, I have to click on a button and type?!? Words?!?' but pls take time and review. I love those of you who do-consistently and without hesitation. Thank you so much. You all have no idea how much that means to me. If I suck, let me know. I'm a big girl, and I can take criticism. I wouldn't have made it through school otherwise. So, just leave a little feedback if possible. Thanks. Okay, I'm done now. Read please.
Being There Part I
"That is not a word," Rory said.
"Why would you say something like that? I would never just outright deny your vocabulary of any substance." Lorelai stared at the side of her daughter's face as they walked side-by-side to Luke's diner.
Rory looked at her. "And while I do appreciate that, it's unnecessary since I usually try to stay within the realms of that pesky little thing...what's it called? Oh yeah, the English language. What do you want me to do, just walk around and let you sound crazy and ignorant?"
"Why not? The leader of our country does it every day."
"You might want to set your bar a little higher. Do you really want to look up to Bush?"
Lorelai ignored the question. "I don't care what anyone says; if there is a nonchalant, then there is a chalant. She dropped her voice. "'Are you being nonchalant? No, just a little bit of chalant going on over here. What about you? Don't even answer that, dude. Of course you are tooootally chalant.'" She looked at Rory as if her little impromptu bit had just proven her point.
Rory smiled. "Not that that doesn't make complete sense, and not to just like kill your 'logic'," she said using air quotes, "but 'chalant' is not a word. 'Chaloir' is a word, which is the derivative verb of nonchalant. It's french, and it means 'worried' or something like that."
Lorelai just stared at her for a while. "You make Mommy so proud," she finally said with a wide smile decorating her face. "How did I get so lucky?"
Rory looked down and shrugged. "It happens. Maybe you found a penny."
Lorelai smiled. "Look at you all modest and passive. Really Honey, it's a great honor. Spice up the chalant, will ya?"
Rory chuckled. "You're truly hopeless," she said as she led the way into the diner. Lorelai smiled and ran her hand down the back of her daughter's hair affectionately.
"Counter or table, Hon?"
"Uuuum, counter," Rory said with finality. They both walked over and claimed two of the stools. Lorelai sighed as she climbed onto the one beside Kirk.
"Hey Kirk. How's it going?" She asked giving him her full attention. He continued to stare straight ahead, giving no indication of having heard her at all. "Kirk?" She said. His attention remained elsewhere, and Lorelai wrinkled her brow and turned to Rory. She noticed the same bewildered expression on her face as she looked past her to Kirk. Lorelai turned back and just looked at him. "Earth to Kirk," she said a little louder as she slapped the counter. He jumped and started to look around himself as if looking for intruders to his thoughts. He finally turned and saw Lorelai.
"Hello, Lorelai," he said calmly and with poised civility. "When did you and Rory get here?"
She turned her head slightly and gave him a worried smile. "I'd say about a minute before you did."
A confused look crossed his face, his head moving like a controlled robot. "I got here two hours ago. You weren't here."
Lorelai laughed. "No, I'm talking about a minute before you came back from wherever you'd drifted off to."
"Did I drift off?" He asked worriedly. "Man, I was supposed to be cured. That's the last time I give my money to a guy claiming to rid anyone of any genetic dysfunction. I wonder if he's still under that tree." He considered this for a moment. "That's where his office was set up. Nice view."
Lorelai cast her eyes downward and slowly shifted them to one side as if she was following and and then waiting for Kirk's crazy words to exit the space. Once she was satisfied that enough time had passed, she asked, "Are you saying that you have narcolepsy?"
His eyes grew, as did his tone. "No, do you think I have narcolepsy? Aw man, this can't be good." He placed his fingers to his temples.
"No, Kirk, you just said that you were cured of drifting off. I was just asking. I'm not quite qualified to diagnose. Still not certified, yet." She held up her open palms to him.
"Oh." He calmed back down. "Well, I don't have narcolepsy. The guy under the tree just wanted to catch any future afflictions and diagnoses. For a small fee of $2000, he was able to pre-cure me. He was running a special. If I'd have come one week later, I would have had to pay $2050. Talk about being at the right place at the right time, huh?"
Lorelai brought her lips in and regarded him silently. The conversation had veered completely off course, and she had to think a minute before realizing where they'd originally started from. "So, you have something on your mind, Kirk?" She asked.
"I guess you can say that. It's just not the same here without Luke," he admitted.
Lorelai softened as she touched his wrist briefly. "I know what you mean. It is a little off with him gone." She tossed a glance back to Rory, and she smiled her agreement. Turning back to Kirk, she added, "But he'll be back in...like a day. He just had to leave town for a couple weeks."
"I know, I know. It's just that Luke completed my day." Lorelai fought back laughter. She knew that Kirk was being open and serious about his feelings as always, but it didn't make it any less amusing to hear. Kirk continued, having taken Lorelai's pursed lips as buried sentiment for his forthcoming statement. "I'd come in, order, have him make some inappropriate comment about who I am with little concern for how it may affect me in the long-run, and then my day would end sufficiently. Sometimes I'd get offended and sometimes I didn't, but..." He drifted off as he looked away. "...I didn't even get to tell him that I love our little routine."
Lorelai frowned at him. "Kirk, he's not dying. He's coming back, and you'll be able to tell him everything you want to tell him." Luke's potential expression to Kirk's admission popped into her head. "As a matter of fact, I would really suggest that you do tell him. Loudly and repeatedly if necessary." Laughter from her own voice filled her head.
His eyes went wide. "You're right. He should know that." He rose slowly and Lorelai's eyes remained fixed on him. "I love Lucas Danes and I love our routine!" He said loudly.
Lorelai pulled him back down by his sleeve. She spoke calmly even though she was about to burst inside. "You have to wait until he's here first, okay?" Kirk sat back down and nodded quickly. "And when he's here, say it just like that." He nodded again. "Just like that," she repeated. "Volume and everything."
She turned back to Rory with a poorly concealed smile creeping onto her face. Rory shook her head. "I hope it's still funny when you're given your first class ticket to Hell."
"Oh, it'll be really worth it," she said reassuringly.
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
The beginning of the past couple of weeks had led Luke to a small town in Utah.
Lorelai had been in the diner when Luke had received a letter that seemed to contain no less than ten hand-written pages. She had been yammering on about something, and he'd been listening. He listened until every word had been spoken. He cleaned, and he barely made eye contact, but Lorelai knew that he was listening. He always listened. She figured that to be a huge reason why he would sometimes be able to share random knowledge about her. Knowledge that sometimes served to shock or suprise her. It was the reason why one day a long time ago she had stopped calling him Duke, the scruffy coffee guy and started to call him Luke, the friend who happened to be the server of the coffee.
He opened the letter and began to read it. His face dropped slightly, but he continued to read and Lorelai let him continue without interruption. Upon finishing, he folded the letter slowly, his eyes concentrating on the not so intricate creases of the paper. When he lifted his head, he was met with Lorelai's bright blue eyes. Eyes so bright and clear they looked to be a well-constructed substitute for clear days on a cloudy one. Though Luke had never thought he'd see the day when Lorelai's lips would need any assistance in getting words out, he was able to see the questions in her eyes. Questions of concern and hope that all was well in his world after having read the letter.
He lifted his shoulders and dropped them nervously. "My cousin died," he said. A boulder-sized knot got caught in his throat, and he wished at that moment that he had taken the mail up to his apartment and chosen to read it there. There, he would have had an opportunity to soak up the news without an audience. There, he would have been able to digest the letter's content, put on a facade of extra grumpiness that would hide any true emotional pain. There, he would not have had to look weak and vulnerable in front of Lorelai. He'd tried to make it seem like, while awful, the news wasn't something that would swallow him and affect him in uncharacteristic ways.
Lorelai's shoulders fell and her eyes filled with water, bringing about another level of color. She softly gave her condolences before reaching a hand out to him over the counter. He took it and gave it a brief squeeze before releasing it. He looked at her, her unwavering and genuine concern making it harder for him to act like there was no resulting hurt. He excused himself, leaving her with no clue that, aside from his discomfort with the locale of the discovery, he was truly pained to learn that his cousin had passed.
Through all of the positives that could be said about landline phones, they all were moot when a person wishing to use it didn't have the phone number of said phone. That was the dilemma that his great aunt and family had been faced with when wishing to inform him of his cousin Wade's pre-mature death. The car accident had occurred a week prior, and Wade was rushed into surgery where they lost him immediately. The funeral had taken place the day before Luke received the letter.
Despite not being able to attend the funeral, Luke still felt that it was appropriate for him to go visit that section of his mother's family. He hadn't seen them in ten years, but up until then, he and Wade and other members of his Utah family had kept in touch regularly. With Wade's death, he knew that it wouldn't be the same and he wanted to check on his great aunt, who Wade had been caring for. In the letter, which she'd written, she mentioned how she wanted to see him.
Luke considered closing the diner down for a couple of weeks until he returned, but he decided that it'd be okay to leave Caesar in charge. He closed the diner early one night and caught a late flight to Utah.
That was fifteen days ago, and Lorelai knew from the contact that Luke kept with Caesar that he would be coming back tomorrow at the latest. This knowledge made her happy because she was anxious to see him and see how he was. She knew that the past couple of weeks couldn't have been easy on him, and she hoped that he wasn't being overwhelmed with all that was going on. She also agreed with Kirk. Luke completed her day. Seeing him and talking to him and working everyday to see him crack a smile that she had admitted a long time ago looked pretty good on him all filled a small portion of her life. His return would not be unappreciated.
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
It seemed as if the beginning of Spring was the most popular time to have weddings. While it offered the perfect weather to marry in, it was the time of year when Doose's would all but sell out of headache medicine. Every employee at the Independence Inn would have no other choice but to rack up due to the abundance of stress and overtime.
Lorelai had spent every waking hour at the Inn--compromising, taking aspirin, directing, taking aspirin, instructing, taking aspirin, smiling through insults from both staff and patron, taking aspirin. Everyday, she'd pop as many pills as she could without exceeding the maximum amount allowed without cause for concern.
The stressful season had begun days ago, but the overflow of business had kept her from stopping by the diner on the day of Luke's return. Sookie said that she had seen him, so Lorelai knew that he was back. When she finally got a chance to drop by Luke's, he'd been back for a day and a half.
"Hey, stranger," Lorelai said as soon as she was through the diner's door. A wide smile covered her face as she walked over to the counter.
"Hey, Lorelai," he said upon looking up. He sounded happy, but tired.
She smiled wider at seeing his lips turn up in greeting. "You finally came back." He nodded. "We missed you." She sat down and leaned on the counter.
"Well, I missed you too. The town, I mean." He put little effort in backtracking. He just simply added the latter statement.
"I should hope so. I'd like to consider myself missable. Wouldn't you?" She teased.
"Who wouldn't?" He asked with deadened sarcasm. He really did sound exhausted. Lorelai took in his appearance. He looked thinner, especially in his face, and his eyes looked so sad that a shot of pain stung at her own heart.
"Can I get you anything?" He asked warily. He looked at her and she almost felt her heart break into two at the sight of the pain in his eyes. They looked darker and older like in the few weeks he'd been gone, a thousand secrets had been buried in them.
She stared at him for a moment, wishing she could say or do one single thing and make him feel better. Even if she could find a way to soak up some of his pain, she would do that without a second's hesitation. "No, I just came to see you," she answered. He gave her a half smile of gratitude. "How was your flight?" Lorelai asked. She thought she'd start with something small.
"Long. Cramped. Bumpy. And apparently not everybody finds it necessary to use anti-perspirant deodorant in small spaces."
Lorelai's nose wrinkled in disgust, and this caused Luke to laugh briefly. He found himself staring at all of her facial features as she made the cute face that he couldn't help but find humor in. His eyes scanned her face quickly trying to find room in his head to store the beautiful imagery that he'd soon have no choice but to rely on. The space was already filled with sounds of her voice, expressions, and shades of her eyes illuminated all of it. The smile dropped from his face. Reality set back in quickly. A reality that soon would not include her. Would not include Stars Hollow. It wouldn't even include the eastern side of the country.
She saw his sudden sadness and it felt to her like she was failing him in some way. She tried to pep up. "Well, you're back now, and that's all that matters." He nodded despondently. She felt herself about to cry, and she knew the subject had to be switched. Crying would be the worst thing that could happen when he was already feeling down. "Well, the...the Dragonfly is coming along nicely," she said nodding.
"That's good. I'm glad, Lorelai."
"Yeah, they said the lobby and desk area should be laid out in two or three weeks." He drew in his lips. "Won't you...come out and take a look? It won't be finished, but it'll give you an idea of what it'll look like when it is."
He started to nod but didn't say anything. He swallowed and started to clench his jaw tightly. He looked back to her. "I, uh, probably won't be able to do that," he said softly.
"Why not? I promise you I'll make sure Michel is busy at the Independence," she added with a small smile.
He looked down to his feet without acknowledging her humor. He remained that way for several seconds before lifting his head and looking into her eyes again. "I won't be able to come because I won't be here." He paused. "I'm moving."
A fleeting confused look went across her face. "You mean you have to go back to Utah?" He nodded slowly. "Oh. Well, when are you coming back?"
He released a heavy sigh before shaking his head. "I'm not."
Her mouth dropped partially opened and she closed it to swallow. She closed her eyes tightly before refocusing on him. "You..you...you aren't coming back? At all?"
"No," he said low. He pursed his lips and tried to avoid her gaze. "I'm leaving as soon as I can close on this place." His hands trembled as he tried to find his back pockets.
Lorelai looked down as her chin remained horizontal with the countertop. She heard herself ask him, "Why are you moving?" It was said because she felt like that was the next logical place to go with the conversation. It didn't really matter to her why he was moving because the end result would still be the same. He would still be leaving Stars Hollow. Apparently for good.
He cleared his throat, looking at the one couple that sat at the far window. "I have to go take care of my great aunt. If I don't, she'll go in a home. She needs me."
This is the moment when Lorelai looked up from the counter. "She needs you?" She asked simply. In her head, there was a word in that question that was emphasized, but she chose to ignore it. The question, however, still came through. Questions that she knew to be selfish swam around in her head--questions about why the older lady couldn't just pack up and move to Stars Hollow...about why one of his other family members that actually lived in the same time zone couldn't step up to the plate...about how she'd heard that nursing homes aren't that bad and how they could sometimes be a godsend to senior citizens. Luckily, none of those questions were verbalized.
He nodded in response to her question. "Yeah, she...uh...she needs someone to be there for her. Help her get around. Cook. Make sure she takes her medication. I'm gonna go and help her out. She's family and--"
"Do you want to go?" She asked.
He gave her a look of exasperation. "It doesn't matter what I want to do. She needs me, and that's all I need to know."
"But do you want to go, Luke?" She asked again.
He threw his hands out to his sides. "I've lived here my whole life. I have a restaurant and...a...truck." He sighed. "I'm not thrilled about having to pick up and move all the way to Utah," he admitted.
"But you are?" She asked softly.
He looked at her sadly. "Yeah, I have to. Everybody else is either married...or irresponsible...or gay, and she's terrified of homosexuals." He waved his hand. "She's just really old and set in her ways which is why she refuses to move into anyone else's house."
"So, Luke to the rescue." It came out blandly, which was a direct reflection of her internal numbness to hearing that Luke would no longer be in Stars Hollow.
"You can say that. I don't have anything as big as marriage tying me down here."
The fact that she would miss his presence in her life seemed such a lame thing to say when being held in comparison with a sickly relative. The pain that washed over her was enough to make her try and say anything to get him to reconsider his decision, but she wouldn't allow anything to come out. She couldn't, for fear that it would only leave a tainted memory of her in his mind. She figured he'd still leave but would have with him remembrances of the selfish and inconsiderate Lorelai Gilmore. She did not want that.
"Everyone's gonna miss you," she said with smile. A worried and almost scared look came over Luke's face and his gaze dropped to the counter. She looked down too and saw what had initiated his panicked reaction. She saw wet spots on the sleeve of her jacket, and she closed her eyes as she realized that the wet spots had come from her own eyes. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to freak you out. I'm...sorry."
He just stood there with his eyes shifting around the diner. Seeing her cry was not something that he had ever wished to witness. Not only did crying people make him extremely uncomfortable, but Lorelai was not supposed to cry. She was the sunshine and the happiness and the joy, and seeing her sad would only add to his distress about the whole damn situation.
"Hey," he started, "don't...don't do that. I can't...do you want some coffee...or some pancakes? I know it's late, but I know you love pancakes, so I can make you some pancakes, and I'll add bacon...or...or the whole pig if that'll make you happy." She looked up and opened her eyes, smiling through her slight shade of embarassment.
"Thanks, but I think that I'm just gonna go." She reached an unsteady hand over to the napkin dispencer and grabbed a couple before dabbing at her face. "I'll, uh," She didn't look up as she wiped but she was hoping that he wasn't looking at her and her pathetic state. Had she looked up though, she would have noticed that he was looking down at his shoes. "I'll probably come in tomorrow morning and take you up on that."
"Sounds good," he said looking up at the same moment that she did.
"When do you leave?" She asked, her voice cracking.
Luke almost grew mad with himself when he heard her faltering tone. "In about a week, maybe two."
She nodded. "That soon. Okay, well...I'll see you, uh, tom...tomorrow then." She stood up and turned to leave. Once she'd turned, she stopped and turned back around to face him. She spoke softly with her gaze on the countertop. "This is a good thing you're doing." She looked up at him giving him a genuine smile as more tears welled up in her eyes. "You're a great guy for doing this, and you have a very lucky family, Luke." Just as one tear escaped her eye, she turned quickly and walked out of the diner.
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Luke spent the week in his own personal Hell. It seemed like every two seconds, he was receiving hugs, happy wishes, presents, and an annoyingly large amount of business. He was sad to be leaving, and as much as he hated to admit it, he would miss everything about the town. Everything. And everybody in it. That's the reason why he tried his hardest not to snap and kick everybody out for good.
He ended up closing on the diner quicker than he had thought. A mere six days after his return, he was ready to pack it up and head out. Day five had everyone in the entire town and everybody from neighboring towns (it seemed like) stopping by and getting one final meal at the diner. Miss Patty brought punch and it seemed like every other middle aged woman brought a dish. Even though it annoyed him to no end that they chose to bring food to a diner, he held his peace because people were still ordering off of the menu. Luke promised that he'd visit at least once a year because if he didn't he doubt he would have been able to get Kirk out of the diner after the 'party'.
The night before he was to leave, he stood at the door of the diner looking out into the town square. Never having been one to get emotional, he found it a little disconcerting when he felt himself choke up a little. He swallowed the lump in his throat and did a decent job at moving past it.
One thing came across his mind that he had been trying not to think about all week. He still had yet to see Lorelai. She had said that she would stop by the next morning, but she didn't. She didn't stop by that morning, that afternoon, that night, the next morning... It broke his heart to know that while people he didn't even know were wishing him the best in Utah, someone he'd known personally for years didn't show any interest in his permanent departure. Rory had came to see him several times, though. She had given him a hug and a beautiful flannel shirt that she swore would feel just like Egyptian cotton against his skin. He had smiled and thanked her, even though he had no idea what the difference would be. The fact that it'd come from Rory already put it at the top of the list. He didn't ask about her mom, and she said nothing on the subject either. So, his heart continued to shed pieces of itself. He thought that she was a good friend who cared. But the doubt continued to grow.
He turned from the door and walked languidly around looking at all of the bare walls. All of the tables had been pushed aside, and the chairs were all stacked to the side as well. He hadn't sold the diner, but instead chose to just wait a couple of months and then rent it out to someone who'd use it as a restaurant. He knew that he'd be gone a long time, but he couldn't find it in himself to do anymore than a one year lease at a time, so that's what he planned to do. They could either take it or move the hell along to another shop front, he figured.
He turned back around and started walking toward the door, still looking at the diner's emptiness. When he got to the door, he looked up and discovered Lorelai standing on the other side staring at him. Her sudden appearance jarred him a little but not enough to show a physical shock. He stood right at the door and just looked at her through the window. Part of him wanted to yell and scream at her carelessness in their friendship's end. Or what could be their friendship's end since he knew that time and absence changed people's relationships a lot of the times. The other part of him wanted to let her in and end their journey on a good, positive note.
Since he cared about her so much, he knew that he didn't have the heart to choose the first alternative. He unlocked the door and backed up as he opened the door. She stepped inside as her gaze remained fixed on him. She gripped the other side of the door and shut it behind herself. His hand fell away.
They stood there with casualness as they each looked to the other. Lorelai played with her fingers.
"Hi," she said finally.
He raised his head in slight acknowledgement of her greeting. "How have you been?" He asked.
"Not my best week," she said softly. "You all packed?"
"I'm all packed and ready," he answered.
She nodded and licked her lips. She looked away from him and looked around the empty diner. "I guess it's official," she said. She moved around him and walked slowly throughout the length of the diner before walking back over to where he stood. "Very official," she added.
"Why didn't you come and see me?" Luke asked bluntly.
"Luke---"
"You said that you would come, and you didn't. You didn't even come to the little gathering that everybody had here. Why didn't you come with Rory?"
"Luke, I--"
"I mean you did know that I was leaving tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that if Rory knew, you knew, so did you---or do you not even care that I'm leaving? Man, I'm sitting here all sad about leaving Kirk, so you know I'm gonna miss you...and it's like you don't care." He wasn't yelling or mad. If anything, he sounded hurt.
"How could you say that I don't care? I can't believe you would even think something like that." Lorelai could feel herself about to lose it.
"Well, you haven't shown much to the contrary," he said with something that could have easily been mistaken as a pout.
"And how am I supposed to be acting, Luke?!" She nearly screamed this, and it was accompanied by tears that seemed to pour out of her eyes in pints. Her lips trembled as she tried to fight back her sobs. She drew in a heavy breath and it seemed to work to calm her emotions a bit. She brought her sleeves up to her face and held them there. When she brought them back down, her face was red, but otherwise clear of any wetness. She looked down to the floor and started to speak in a register that betrayed her previous volume. "I didn't know how to come here and eat and talk like everything was the same."
She looked up at him. "I mean, look at me," she said with slight laughter. "This is what you would have seen every time I---." She shook her head. "It would have been too hard, Luke. It is too hard."
He stood helplessly looking at Lorelai as she broke down and then picked herself back up right in front of him. When she had finished speaking, she stared at him, noticing how his eyelids had dropped and his jaw was clenched so tightly that it displayed muscles she didn't even know jaws had. He breathed in and out heavily before closing his eyes.
"Damn it," he muttered as a tightness pulled somewhere between his neck and chest. He turned away from her and walked toward the door with his hands balling into tight fists at his side. He turned back to her. He looked upward as he struggled once again to swallow the unwelcome lump that kept rising. It took all of his strength but he did. His voice still sounded strained. "Lorelai, I don't want to leave, okay? If I could, I would--." He shook his head as he looked to her pitifully. He looked down. "Damn it!" He exclaimed louder.
She looked at his bowed head before reaching out and taking his still clenched arm. Stiff at first, he allowed her to lift his arm, but he kept his fist clenched. She took both her hands and tenderly rubbed his wrist before moving her soft fingertips over his fingers. It didn't take long for Luke to relax his hand in both of hers. She stared down at his hand. She grasped it between her hands tightly as she looked back up. His head still hung to the floor.
"Luke," Lorelai called softly. He said nothing. "Luke, look at me." She tugged on his arm with a gentle pull. He looked up with his jaw muscles finally relaxed. She gave him a reassuring smile that took everything in her to produce. "Anyone that has ever had you in their lives knows that you are a one of a kind person. You are always there for people you care about. You never falter in your character. You are so loved and there are so many people in this world, no matter where you are, that would do anything for you." She paused and made a brief decision to personalize her appreciation. "I am beyond hurt that I won't get to see you every day. I know you think my frequent visits are inspired by coffee, and while I won't deny that to be the partial truth, it has a lot to do with the man who serves it. I'm going to miss you so much. I hate that you won't be there with me to see my dream come alive in the form of the Dragonfly. I hate that you won't be around to criticize my food choices and my coffee drinking. I hate that you won't be here anymore to look after Rory because you do. You so do and I know you like to play it down, but every teenage girl needs that male guy to place suck-y boyfriends in headlocks. I hate that I won't get to see your face every day. I hate that I won't get to see your stubble and try to guess how long it's been since you've shaved, while always hoping that you'll go just one more day because you look so good with it." She was running out of breath but she kept talking. "I hate that I was silently hating an old lady who lives thousands of miles away because she gets you and I don't. I hate that I didn't really feel shame for doing it because, hell, she's taking you away from Stars Hollow. She's taking you away from me."
She paused. "But what I hate most of all is that you are gonna go. No matter what the crazy lady with the puffy eyes just said to you, you're going to get on that plane and not lose sight of your...goddamn selflessness that led you to agree to do this in the first place." She smiled. "Stars Hollow loves you, Luke," she added softly.
"Lorelai--"
"No," she interrupted with a nervous laugh. "Please don't say anything." She sobered up. "I doubt this could get any harder, but I don't want to test that theory." She laughed again. "Have a good flight, okay." She released his hand and walked around him to the door. She turned suddenly. "Oh, I almost forgot. I got you something."
"You didn't have to," he said shyly.
"Don't worry. It didn't even cost eight bucks," she said lightly.
"Oh, well, you really didn't have to," he joked. He tried to smile but he was sure that it didn't make its way across his lips.
When she smiled at his joke though, his smile broke through as always. She dug inside her purse and pulled out an envelope. "Here you go," she said handing it to him. He took it from her and lifted the flap.
"What are these for?" He asked her.
"Well, I know you aren't a phone guy, and that's fine. I'm just guessing that e-mail's out of the question, so I figured we could write each other." She pointed to the book of stamps. "Just a little inspiration." She looked up at him timidly, and he nodded placing the envelope in his back pocket.
She stood looking up into his eyes. The sadness was still there, and they glistened with distant tears that probably would never get a chance to fall.
"Bye Luke," Lorelai whispered. She leaned into him to place a kiss on his cheek, but he turned his head slowly, placing his mouth in front of hers. She hesitated for only a second, looking into his eyes, finding his gaze fixed on her lips. She slowly brought her lips to his as she walked her body closer to him. Luke's hands came up and gently grasped the sides of her face while hers went to his sides and grabbed fistfuls of his flannel shirt. Her hands burned from the pressure of her tight fists, but she only squeezed harder. His lips rested on hers, and her bottom lip trembled as she moved it to the outside of his bottom one.
She stood on her toes slightly as she opened her mouth to gently take his lip between her teeth. He released a tiny moan, but did not pressure her to release it. She did this on her own soon after. She fell back to her own height as he pressed his lips softly against hers once more. He pulled back before leaning back in with a soft warm kiss to her lips. He allowed his tongue to run along her lip giving her a spine-tingling sensation that ended with a tiny shiver. She opened her mouth, and Luke relished the feel of her breath. He could feel it, and he wished almost for his heart to have access to that part of Lorelai as well. If she could find a way to send a breath, just one breath into the vessel that sustains his body, he knew that that would be enough to mend his heart. At least until he made it on the plane.
His tongue came out and moved into her awaiting mouth, and she allowed her tongue to slide over his. She leaned into him and released her deathgrip on his shirt, choosing instead to bring both arms around his neck. His hands dropped to her waist, and that's when the kiss intensified. Lorelai moaned and moaned and moaned as Luke's tongue battled fiercely with her own. His teeth dropped down to her lip and he sucked it into his mouth before gently releasing it. He went back into the kiss with his lips as it wrapped softly around her tongue. He brought his tongue back to hers and slowed the kiss down as they each fell into a blissful feeling of tongue on tongue. The pace increased once again, their hands pulling fervently at the body of the other. His hat got knocked off in the midst of the desperate clutches, but they continued to savor. Luke brought his lips to her bottom lip, kissing it quickly before kissing his way down her chin. When he got to her neck, the urgency came to a screeching halt as he let his lips rest on her skin. They breathed in rapid, full breaths. Lorelai stilled at the same moment he did. Both realizing that no matter how tight they held one another, no matter how deep they kissed, Luke would still be getting on a plane with no definite plans to return. He pulled his lips back and she dropped her head, both of them staring into each other's eyes as they let heavy breaths in and out.
"I'm sorry," Luke said to her as he stared into her watery eyes. "I shouldn't have done that."
"It was me, too. Don't apologize." They realized that they each still had a firm hold on the other, and both reluctantly stepped back. Lorelai looked down and saw the sides of his shirt that she'd done a thorough job of wrinkling. She reached out a hand to straighten one side but thought better of it. There was no guarantee that she would let go this time.
Without looking at him, she bundled her jacket around her torso tighter before turning to leave. "Take Care of yourself," she said not giving him time to respond. When she turned toward the window, she was presented with Kirk's face pressed up against the glass, but she acted as if it was nothing out of the ordinary as she swung the door open and walked out briskly.
"You guys were just--" Kirk began.
"Not now, Kirk," Lorelai said jaggedly as she rushed past him.
There was no stopping the tears that fell from her eyes, and if it were not for the quaking sound of her own sobs, she knew that for the first time ever, she would have found out what it sounded like to hear your own heart weep.
...TBC...