Rekindling the Flame

"I can't fucking stand it!" Kanda screeched, hearing his voice rattle the windows. Lila, his wife of five years, flinched back, a look of surprise entering her eyes. As she gaped at him, he collected his bag and slipped on his shoes, making sure to slam the door behind him before heading off to work.

This was not how he had wanted to start the morning. All he wanted was to wake up, read the morning paper, and eat. But Lila seemed to favor nagging him about putting his feet on the table and spilling coffee on the counter. Stupid Onna, he thought, gripping the steering wheel tightly. She can't fucking leave me in peace before work,

He noticed that lately she's been moody; constantly correcting things that never bothered her before. At first, he just brushed it off as her time of the month, but this has been going on for weeks now. He was quickly losing his patience with the young woman. It was hard enough working overtime five days a week at a shitty job with shitty people. But now, in his own home, his safe haven, the hardship was continuing.

Sighing, he tried to calm himself when he saw he was speeding in his rage. At least he arrived early to work because of it. Wordlessly, he stormed into the office, his footsteps loudly resounding in the hallways as he approached his desk. He tried to move quickly because the last thing he wanted to deal with was stupid Lavi.

"Yu!" Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Kanda inwardly groaned and ignored the call, knowing full well that such behavior would not deter the rambunctious Usagi. "Hey! Yu! How are you?" Lavi shouted, clasping a hand on his shoulder. "I was fine until you showed up. And don't fucking call me that!" he roared, turning the corner as he continued to his desk. "Aw! Come on Yu! You're grumpier than normal today. What's wrong?"

At this, Kanda whirled around, startling the slightly taller man with his rage. "None of you god damned business! Now leave me the fuck alone!" Allen, another annoyance, peaked his head out of his cubicle to address Lavi. "You better leave him be, Lavi," the silver haired man said. "Obviously he's got a stick up his ass today,"

Growling, Kanda chose to take his anger out on his work rather than the stupid Moyashi. At least for now. He plopped down at his desk and immediately started working on the paperwork piled on his desk. He was almost done with half of the first pile when a feminine voice coughed. "Good morning Kanda," said Lenalee sweetly and Kanda relaxed a little. Lenalee and he had known each other since childhood, so he'd grown used to her presence. "Good morning," he ground out, not looking up. "Oh dear! You seem so tense today!" she exclaimed.

Sighing heavily, Kanda cast a glance up at his friend. His eyes couldn't help but trace over her hourglass figure, stopping once on her breasts (which popped out of her shirt) and then at her long legs that were barely concealed by the pencil skirt she wore. He had to admit, it was a pleasant sight. Lila never wear such things, he thought grumpily, remembering the cause of all his problems.

"You have no idea," he growled, rubbing his temples. The woman hummed thoughtfully before chirping in a flirtatious voice. "Well, if you're not busy after work, how about we go out for a drink? My treat!" she offered. Kanda was about to decline the offer, knowing full well that Lenalee and Lila did not see eye to eye. However, the thought of what was waiting for him at home as well as that this was a perfect opportunity to spite her made him nod his head. "Sure," he said and Lenalee cheered. "Great! Meet me after work!"

After she left, Allen peaked his head over the cubicle to look critically at Kanda. "What?!" the navy haired man snapped but Allen didn't even flinch. "Nothing, I'm just surprised. You never accept her invitations," he ventured. Kanda snarled at him, feeling hatred bubble in his chest. "What does it matter? I can do what I want!" he roared but Allen just shook his head. "I'm just worried. You know how Lila feels about Lenalee."

"And what about it?!" Kanda snapped, surprising Allen. "That brat deserves a little punishment! She can't fucking control me! I don't give a shit how she feels!" The silver haired male watch with wide eyes before sadness clouded his gaze and he retreated with parting words, "I hope you don't really mean that,"

Whatever, Kanda thought bitterly before throwing himself into work, already thinking about later tonight.

…

"Come on, Kanda! Let's go in here!" Lenalee called before ducking inside a building. Kanda cast a scrutinizing gaze on the bar before begrudgingly following her inside. At some point, Lenalee had changed into something more revealing than her work clothes. Kanda now had a wonderful view of that huge cleavage and those long, smooth legs. Her high heeled boots only made them look longer, much to his liking.

Damn, he thought, toying with the golden band on his left hand. If only Lila looked like that. With that thought, he slipped his wedding ring off his finger, putting it into his pocket without a second thought. He followed Lenalee to the bar and ordered a few beers. After guzzling down a couple glasses of the bitter liquid, he finally started getting that buzz he was looking for, failing to notice that Lenalee wasn't really drinking.

After his fifth bottle, Lenalee got really close to him, leaning forward. "Hey, are you drunk?" she asked, her voice heavier than usual. Growling, Kanda shook his head and ordered another beer. As he did so, the scandalously clad woman scooted her chair closer before rubbing his tense shoulders. Kanda groaned at the contact before rolling his head back to gaze at her. "Sorry, you seemed tense. Is Lila not treating you right?" she asked, hitting the nail right on the head.

Kanda nodded, speaking about it for the first time. "She's been moody lately. Always yelling about what I do and then giving me the cold shoulder. She can't fucking sympathize with what I do while she goes off and enjoys her own easy job!" the male snarled, taking another swig of the bitter liquid. Lenalee made a weird cooing sound before practically crawling into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"If you ask me, I think you should have never married that stupid sow," Lenalee said. "You deserve so much better. Like…me," she began to lean forward, puckering her colored lips as she invited him for a kiss. Kanda licked his lips in appreciation before leaning forward, shifting in his seat.

However, before their lips could meet, something was dislodged from his pocket and dinged on the floor. Pulling back, Kanda caught sight of the shiny, golden band sitting at his feet. 'Kanda,' a voice called in his head and his eyes were filled with visions of Lila. Her bumping into him when they first met, her standing up for him when Lavi was harassing him, their first kiss, their first date, their wedding; it all came flooding back to him in an instant. 'I love you,' her voice whispered in his head, a memory of the last time she could speak.

Kanda's head dropped in shamed. What was he doing? Lila was the woman he loved, no matter how grumpy she was or how unwilling he was to admit it. In sickness in health, till death do us part; he was pretty sure neither of them was dead. I'm just horrible, he thought bitterly, feeling waves of guilt crashing into him as he remembered Allen's foreboding words. How could I even think of doing this to my wife?

He went to reach out for the ring when Lenalee caught his hand, looking a bit upset at him. "Leave it. It's garbage now anyways," she growled and Kanda's eyes widened in realization. Lila was right the whole time! Every time Lila claimed that Lenalee hated her, that Lenalee was trying to break them up, she was right! Kanda felt like a dick for not listening to her. He thought that he knew Lenalee better than anyone but now he saw he was wrong.

Narrowing his eyes, he gaze became fierce as he shoved Lenalee off his lap. "It's not fucking worthless!" he shrieked, pushing her away from him. "Lila was right about you all along!" Lenalee's face twisted in rage, an expression he's never seen on her face before, as she roared out a reply. "Who the fuck does that bitch think she is anyways?!" she screamed. "I was so close to having you as mine and then she just waltzed in and snatch you away! I've always hated that bitch! I HATE HER!"

Kanda looked away, picking up his ring and slipping it on his finger. "Lila wouldn't have stolen me away if I loved you," he said, making Lenalee's heart shatter. "I married Lila for a reason. Not you." On that he turned around and took off, shoving his way out of the bar and onto the streets.

All he could think off the whole drive home was how much of a dirt bag he was for almost doing that with Lenalee. He was truly a disgrace. What would his father say? His brother Marie would kill him! And Lila, poor Lila, would just about die on the inside. He may have been furious with her this morning but all that dissipated now. No amount of grouchiness was worth destroying a marriage, especially one that was typically happy.

I fucked up, Kanda thought, biting his lip until it bled. Please, be home when I get there.

…

He was relieved that Lila's car was in the driveway, but he failed to notice the time. It was way past midnight, so Lila would definitely be asleep. Shit, she's probably been so worried, he thought sullenly as he walked up into their apartment. He fed the key into the lock only to find that the door hadn't been locked to begin with. She'd been waiting for him to come home.

Expecting a dark, empty home, Kanda was surprised to see the kitchen light was on and a bowl of soba was sitting on the counter. Upon further inspection, Kanda saw a little note left by Lila. 'I'm sorry,' it read and Kanda felt a lump form in his throat before he dug into his cold dinner. It was hard to eat even his favorite food with the pitiful feeling in his chest. He absolutely hated it.

After finishing his plate and cleaning up the mess, he walked around the apartment, hoping that his wife was still awake. Kanda didn't miss how the whole place had been cleaned to perfection, despite the fact that Lila had been scheduled to work a whole twelve hour shift at the clinic today. His jackets had been cleaned, ironed, and hung neatly by the door. His work shoes were polished and organized beside her own sneakers.

He really was an asshole. All day he'd been sulking and speaking ill of Lila, while she cleaned and made sure everything was perfect for his return. Kanda bit his lip again, feeling his chest tighten. He hated the feeling. He hated feeling in general and not just anyone could make him feel like this. Not Allen, not Marie, and certainly not Lenalee. What was I thinking? He thought bitterly, finally admitting it to himself since he met Lila. This is what I want.

Walking into the living room, the man stopped short when he saw Lila, bundled up and asleep on the couch. She looked exhausted, as if she'd stayed up for him even after working and cleaning. She looked so tired and frail right now, especially with her hair still wet from her shower. Kanda finally realized that she's been like this lately; too tired to stay up late to watch movies with him and sick looking.

He approached her sleeping figure on the couch with a small, tragic smile, finding a picture album in her lap. Carefully, as to not wake her, Kanda sat down and looked at the page that was open. There were pictures of their wedding. God, Lila looked so beautiful in that dress, he thought longingly. She may not be as well-endowed as other women, but she looked like an angel. Something that people like Lenalee couldn't even come close to. Her albinism had never deterred him. In fact, he loved how her colorless, short hair matched perfectly with her white wedding dress and how here dark ruby eyes matched her ruby necklace that he gave her on their first date. He loved her long, white eyelashes and narrow, white eyebrows. Her pale skin was like ivory.

Snapping out of his revere, Kanda was surprised to find that his eyes stung with the telltale sign of oncoming tears. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took the album from Lila and carefully placed it back on the bookshelf. He turned to gaze lovingly at his sleeping wife before picking her up and carrying her back to their bed. God, I've become such a sap, he thought, scoffing half-heartedly at his behavior as he changed. But, as he turned back to Lila, he found that he really didn't care, as long as it was only her that saw him like this. The navy haired man slid into bed beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing his lips to her hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered against her snowy locks before drifting into sleep.

Unbeknownst to Kanda, Lila was partially awake in his arms. She smiled, not once opening her eyes before turning over and snuggling into his broad chest.