The Truth Behind Mario
Mario was in a great ferment. He was rich and famous. All of his fame and fortune were adventitious, however, since his brother was too sick to accept the offer of appearing in Donkey Kong back in 1978, so he was made the substitute. Now that brother was nominal, in fact, Mario doesn't even remember his name. They stuck with Mario because the acculturation of the rich & famous lifestyle came quickly.
His work is expedited thanks to the fact that Bowser really isn't his enemy. They strike a deal, and all Mario has to do is simulate sangfroid. It's all just acting. He has a proclivity for it.
Peach? Mario abominates her. Sure, she kissed him in Super Mario 64 and he had to "save" her in various other games, but she's ugly. He often had to work on an empty stomach because of her circuitous attitude. He can recall countless times waiting behind Peach during lunch breaks while she spends hours deciding on "ham or turkey?" and "Coke or Pepsi?" (Hallie Eisenberg wasn't even born in 1985.) He hates noncommittal people. Mario wants another person to play his girlfriend, but Peach is the only princess they can find.
Luigi? Who's that? The guy who wrote Six Characters in Search of an Author? Oh. His other brother. Luigi couldn't do anything. His fame was inadvertent. He needed a co-star for Mario Bros. back in 1983, because that annoying Mr. Miyamoto didn't want to ascribe only one main character for the game. Mario wanted to act solo but Mr. Miyamoto wouldn't hear of it, and enjoined the programmers to include Luigi. Mario wheedled and wheedled to let Mario act alone, but it wouldn't happen.
"Mario Bros. is a multi-player game," Miyamoto had said.
Mario refused to expiate with Miyamoto. The only reason he didn't retire on the spot was because of the cash. But their relation has been vitriolic ever since.
Wario is a tenuous fatso who was given the right to co-star in Super Mario Land. He somehow peculated the right and, lo and behold, out comes Wario Land on the Game Boy. Mario ignored this seditious act, thinking it was nothing. Wario soon appeared in sequels, and then in Mario Kart 64, Mario Golf, Mario Tennis, and Mario Party etc.! Now he's rich and famous like Luigi!
It's hard to say this, but Mario fears Yoshi. Ever since that accident during Super Mario World that required a Band-Aid, Mario has disliked Yoshi. They forced Mario to sit through Super Mario World 2 and endure months and months of wailing by that baby pretending to be Mario because of Yoshi. Yoshi's Story was a good game, but it enraged Mario because Takashi Tezuki refused to make it Mario's Story and have Mario as the title character.
But he was rich and famous, and that commiserates everything.
Mario was in a great ferment. He was rich and famous. All of his fame and fortune were adventitious, however, since his brother was too sick to accept the offer of appearing in Donkey Kong back in 1978, so he was made the substitute. Now that brother was nominal, in fact, Mario doesn't even remember his name. They stuck with Mario because the acculturation of the rich & famous lifestyle came quickly.
His work is expedited thanks to the fact that Bowser really isn't his enemy. They strike a deal, and all Mario has to do is simulate sangfroid. It's all just acting. He has a proclivity for it.
Peach? Mario abominates her. Sure, she kissed him in Super Mario 64 and he had to "save" her in various other games, but she's ugly. He often had to work on an empty stomach because of her circuitous attitude. He can recall countless times waiting behind Peach during lunch breaks while she spends hours deciding on "ham or turkey?" and "Coke or Pepsi?" (Hallie Eisenberg wasn't even born in 1985.) He hates noncommittal people. Mario wants another person to play his girlfriend, but Peach is the only princess they can find.
Luigi? Who's that? The guy who wrote Six Characters in Search of an Author? Oh. His other brother. Luigi couldn't do anything. His fame was inadvertent. He needed a co-star for Mario Bros. back in 1983, because that annoying Mr. Miyamoto didn't want to ascribe only one main character for the game. Mario wanted to act solo but Mr. Miyamoto wouldn't hear of it, and enjoined the programmers to include Luigi. Mario wheedled and wheedled to let Mario act alone, but it wouldn't happen.
"Mario Bros. is a multi-player game," Miyamoto had said.
Mario refused to expiate with Miyamoto. The only reason he didn't retire on the spot was because of the cash. But their relation has been vitriolic ever since.
Wario is a tenuous fatso who was given the right to co-star in Super Mario Land. He somehow peculated the right and, lo and behold, out comes Wario Land on the Game Boy. Mario ignored this seditious act, thinking it was nothing. Wario soon appeared in sequels, and then in Mario Kart 64, Mario Golf, Mario Tennis, and Mario Party etc.! Now he's rich and famous like Luigi!
It's hard to say this, but Mario fears Yoshi. Ever since that accident during Super Mario World that required a Band-Aid, Mario has disliked Yoshi. They forced Mario to sit through Super Mario World 2 and endure months and months of wailing by that baby pretending to be Mario because of Yoshi. Yoshi's Story was a good game, but it enraged Mario because Takashi Tezuki refused to make it Mario's Story and have Mario as the title character.
But he was rich and famous, and that commiserates everything.