If Bernie had to go about describing her girlfriend's wardrobe, she's pretty sure she could manage it solidly in two words. Those being bright and expensive. That's all perfectly well and good, colours suit Serena, she can wear them with ease. She's at home within fabrics that pop before the eye and Bernie wouldn't change that for the world.
There's something extremely captivating about Serena in colour. She draws the eye no matter what she is wearing, but seeing her comfortable within her clothing is nothing short of extremely wonderful. That being said, she swears to the high heavens that Serena owns nothing more muted than black and patterned print. Which just won't do at all, not in the present situation.
She can't wear something that bright, she just can't. There aren't all that many options unless she goes for something brightly hued, but she really needs options right now. She needs something that isn't quite so obviously Serena's. They're not at that level, not quite yet. She doesn't want to push things, but she really does just need something to wear. Something that she can casually pass off as her own, at least until she can change into her scrubs.
With a shift due to start in approximately forty five minutes, she has exactly twenty minutes until Serena will insist that they leave. They can arrive at work together, but she can't be obviously wearing Serena's clothing. What a dilemma to start the morning with. It all seems kind of ridiculous, she knows that. But privacy has been agreed on, and privacy needs to be upheld.
It was foolish of her not to pack an over night bag, just in case, but she hadn't wanted to seem presumptuous. She hadn't wanted to presume, not after their tentative start. If she didn't assume anything, she couldn't have her hopes dashed against some rocks. They'd started to build something strong, something hopeful and honest and real. She'd been tentative to push, scared that she might make things give way beneath her.
It was the day of their third proper date, and it had taken six weeks to manage to schedule such a thing. The first time they'd gone out, they'd had a simple dinner. She'd dropped Serena home and walked her to the door. Serena had looked at her, and then somehow she'd been sandwiched between the other woman's body and her front door. She'd been very thoroughly kissed, enough to make breathing difficult, before she'd been sent on her way.
The second time they'd gone out, it had ended in much the same way. Except it had taken far longer to extricate themselves from one another, far too lost in what was happening. And hands had wondered far more than the time before, to a point that made Bernie blush to think about. So, on some level, she had known exactly where the night before had been heading.
Surely that level should have allowed her to prepare like an adult, rather than ignoring where they were headed like a blushing school girl. That level should have let her gather essentials in an over night bag, just in case. If she had been wrong, no harm, no foul. But she hadn't prepared, and she hadn't been wrong.
They'd arrived back at Serena's and the look that had been directed at her, full of heat and something far deeper, had left no doubt in her mind as to what was going to happen between them. Before she had been able to comprehend that look, before she could process the heat coursing through her, Serena's mouth had been on hers.
They had kissed and it had been so sure, so steady. It had left no doubt in Bernie's mind as to where the night was leading, at the time she had thought no more of an over night bag. That lapse is something she feels she's going to regret as the day draws on, because everything is so bright.
Bernie likes her muted colours and tones, nothing that stands out too much against a backdrop. Perfectly ordinary clothing, for a perfectly ordinary, if slightly fucked up, woman. She knows that her wardrobe choices are relatively tame compared to Serena's, but needs must. Old habits die hard and all that. She's a soldier, used to her uniform and drab colours.
That's what she's comfortable in, because it's what she's grown used to over the years. Even in civilian life, she finds it extraordinarily difficult to break free of the habit. She supposes that a leopard doesn't need to change its spots if it has comfort within them.
The longer she stares into the open wardrobe before her, the more apparent it becomes that apparently today she will be stepping out of her comfort zone. She can't wear the crumpled blouse on the floor into work, most definitely not. Showing up in day old clothing would be even more of a statement than she's willing to make.
Everything within the wardrobe is as far from muted as it is possible to get, every item positively screams life. And Bernie loves it, loves them all. Loves how Serena's clothing embodies exactly what Serena is to her. The thing, the person, whom makes her feel most alive. Serena somehow manages to bring light into her life, despite the messy divorce and the fuck up that is her life. She brings laughter and light and smiles more genuine than anything that has lot up her face for twenty years.
Still, she wishes she'd brought an overnight bag. But she didn't, so she'd best get choosing unless she wants to feel the wrath of Jason and Serena alike. There's always orange, but that seems to be a particular favourite. If she wore it, she's certain she'd spend the whole day thinking about Serena's lips pressed against hers, and that would simply be counter productive. There's the stripy travesty that her girlfriend sported on the day of her return. It screams expensive, but it actually hurts her eyes to look at.
Back and white patterned, leopard print, blue and pink. Every blouse in the wardrobe seems to denote some important memory for them, some development that is raised in Bernie's mind eye whenever her girlfriend wears any of them. God knows how distracted she would be actually wearing one of them. Very, she imagines, because she'll be damned if she isn't one for reminiscing.
Still, surely there has to be something she can wear. Something, anything she'll be comfortable in that doesn't scream association with Serena. As the minutes tick by, second by precious second, she becomes more and more desperate. The last thing she wants is to restart up the Holby City Hospital rumour mill, not when it's only just calmed down.
Finally, her eyes alight on a blouse that is unlike something she has ever seen Serena in. For all intents and purposes, it is plainer than anything she has ever seen the other woman in. Almost entirely unadorned, fitted in the place of the flowing blouses her partner would normally wear on any given work day. It's cotton, by the looks of things, and it's soft to the touch.
Glancing at her watch, she hurriedly throws it on, not paying it much more heed. It's soft against her skin, and it smells like Serena. In the least sappy way, it makes her feel warm inside. She barely pauses before the mirror to take it in, because it is barely over her head and done up before Jason begins to shout for her up the stairs.
She finds Jason and Serena waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, Serena trying to placate Jason. Bernie swear that she's barely running a minute behind, and it's really only a ten minute drive, but she knows that she's in danger of throwing their whole schedule off. Still, she's ready now and that's what really counts. If you ignore the fact that she just spent twenty whole minutes agonising over which one of her girlfriends blouses to steal for the day.
At the sound of footsteps on the stairs, both Jason and Serena look up. Jason looks as though he wants to roll his eyes, but knows it is bad manners. Serena's eyes, on the other hand, roam up and down her body, taking her in fully as she approaches. There's something in her eyes that makes Bernie feel warm all over, and she thinks it's a feeling she could most definitely get used to.
It makes her heart skip a beat, and she almost pauses as she walks to absorb the moment. She doesn't, of course, for two main reasons. The first, she is most definitely not that much of a sap. She's British and far too reserved for such a thing. The second, she doesn't want to annoy Jason any more, by making him even a second later than she already has.
Still, she's more affected by the look in Serena's eyes than she's willing to let on. It warms her through, and try as she might, she's just not able to ignore it. She knows that Serena intends for her to be affected, but something clearly has her girlfriend in a state as well. So that's something.
As it turns out they arrive at the hospital with plenty of time to spare. Almost fifteen minutes in fact. Jason isn't best pleased, he needs exactly fifteen minutes before his shift to prepare himself for work, and he doesn't quite have that. Bernie finds herself appeasing him by promising him a World's Strongest Man marathon on her next Sunday off. Which would normally have her internally cringing, but the smile on Jason's face is more than worth it.
Serena's eyes don't seem to leave her for most of the morning. She finds herself being watched as she works. It doesn't seem to matter what she's doing, paperwork or ward rounds, Serena watches her avidly no matter what. Diligently, she avoids eye contact, because the warmth I'm the pit of her stomach is sure to boil over otherwise. They've agreed, not in the work place.
She's pretty proud of herself, she lasts for the entire morning. Which happens to be almost six hours of her shift, that's quite impressive. Especially seen as all she can think about is the night before, and she knows -from the way that Serena's gaze doesn't seem to have left her once- that it's the same for the other woman. At least she manages to control where her eyes go, it certainly isn't the same story for Serena. Her gaze burns into Bernie's back, never seeming to waver.
She finds herself wondering what has gotten to Serena so thoroughly, because she's never seen her so riled up. She understands the constant thinking about the other person, she can't seem to drag her mind away from the other woman. So much so that she feels intoxicated by the thought of her. But the other woman's self control seems non existent today. Normally, she has an abundance of the stuff.
It's not that she's complaining, it's just very distracting. She finds out what it is, exactly, six hours into their shared shift. They take their lunch break together, sat in the office, chatting about their days so far. Still Serena's eyes don't seem to leave her, she fidgets in her seat even as they chat. Bernie's about to ask what on earth is going on, she's never seen the brilliant woman so distracted before, when Serena stands abruptly.
She pushes away from her desk and comes to stand before Bernie. Bernie gazes up at the other woman, mouth open and unsure of what is running through Serena's mind. Her girlfriend's eyes scan her from head to foot, appreciating her completely. Then Bernie's lips are captured in a heated, but all too brief kiss.
She finds herself leaning in for more, intoxicated by Serena, forgetting exactly where they are. She wants their lips to meet again, wants to taste Serena's lips properly and hold her as close as humanly possible. But Serena's head has already moved back, making the space between them so what more professional once again, a small smile gracing her lips.
If anything, head clouded from Serena's presence, she's even more puzzled than she was five minutes ago. Serena is still stood before her, looking at her in a way that fills Bernie with desire. She finds herself biting her lip, a low 'Serena...' slipping free. If anything the gaze holding her captive intensifies and Bernie swears she has never wanted someone so much.
Serena leans over her, body coming very close but not touching. She wants to reach out and touch, but somehow she remembers that they are at work. Using the armrests of Bernie's chair as support, she brings her head in close to Bernie's, resting her lips against her ear.
" I'm very sorry for distracting you Bern, but you in my clothing, not to be cliched here, seems to be doing something rather unexpected to me. I'm rather afraid you'll have to help me out with it after our shift ends."
Her lips brush deliberately against Bernie's ear as she pulls away. The blinds of their office are open, and any one could see, so she restrains herself from following her first impulse. Instead, she exhales shakily and sits back in her chair rather heavily. If she spends the rest of her shift thinking about all the ways she might get to help her girlfriend out after work, so sue her. She is dating Serena Campbell after all.