To Live Again
They always begin the same…these dreams of his. Coming to him unbidden in the night, when all around him have fallen to slumber; keeping him from much needed rest. It has been this way ever since the fall of the house of Batiatus.
Ever since….no.
No…he cannot go through this again. Cannot bear to be reminded that his light in this world, his conscience, half of his now bleeding heart…
Is gone…forever torn from grasp by Roman hands.
Duro…
It is torture in its purest form; shredding his mind apart with images of blood and sand. Of once bright and humor filled eyes slowly fading away; his brother's body lying cold and lifeless within his arms.
"This time I save you, brother," Duro's last words constantly echoing in his head.
He does not think he can go on like this; a mere shell of a man with nothing guiding him through this world except for a need for vengeance and a desire to spill as much Roman blood as he can; until the afterlife calls for him and he is reunited once more with beloved brother.
But for now, the only thing he can look forward to is another sleepless night.
Rising up from the sleeping area he has claimed as his own, Agron makes his way outside hoping to clear his head of troubling thoughts.
The courtyard of the villa is quiet, save for the chirping noises of insects carried through the night air. The moon, high up above, basks the villa in soft moonlight, as well as a lone figure leaning up against one of the archways, staring up into the sky.
"Another person drawn from sleep it seems," Agron thinks to himself as he stops for a moment, trying to find place where he can sit.
As he looks around, he notices that the person in the courtyard with him has stopped gazing up at night sky and recognizes familiar face.
"Does sleep elude you as well, little man?," Agron says as greeting to once Tiberius, now Nasir.
Nasir jumped slightly and turned to face Agron.
"Apologies….I did not mean to frighten you."
"It is alright," Nasir replied, relaxing slowly. "And yes, I too find myself unable to rest this evening."
Agron gave him a small smile. "Perhaps, if you find it agreeable, we can pass time with shared words since sleep eludes us."
Nasir was surprised at first but then managed to nod. "Yes, I would like that."
They soon found themselves sitting together upon a bench near the entrance to the villa and for a moment, neither one of them spoke, both taking the time to collect their thoughts, and then Agron decided to speak.
"So what keeps you from the land of dreams this night?"
Nasir looked over at him briefly and then his gaze turned downwards. "I...find myself thinking on all that has come to pass since liberation of villa and uncertainty of what the future holds for me without path to walk upon."
"Are you still at odds with the rebellion?" Agron asked curious.
"No," Nasir replied, looking up at him, "I see now that the rebellion is a just cause. It's just that…that..."
"What is it?" Agron questioned, wanting to know what he had to say.
"I have been a slave for much longer than I have been free. I have grown up in these walls," Nasir said gesturing to the space surrounding them, "tolled in them and through my efforts gained respected position."
"Now though, that position…my place in this world has been lost and because of it, I have become lost as well."
Agron listened to Nasir, suddenly ashamed for once calling for the death of this young man who only acted out of fear and anger from losing the only life he had ever known and lightly placed his hand upon shoulder.
"I am sorry that such thoughts weigh heavily upon you," Agron replied sincerely, looking into Nasir's dark eyes, "knew I the words to comfort disquieted mind I would speak them, however in this instance, I know not what to say. I was not a slave for very long, certainly not as long as you and others like you and I know better what it is like to be free, to be able to make own choices absent someone telling me how to think and act."
"But what I do know is this: freedom, while it may seem frightening to you now, is nothing to fear. You can now forge a new place in this world; one of your own choosing and perhaps it will be even greater than the one you once had," Agron finished, hoping that it would be of some comfort to the man.
Nasir seemed to be taking Agron's words in and he smiled at the German. "Gratitude for words and know that they well-received."
Agron returned the smile. "It is of no trouble."
They once again fell into companionable silence.
"What of you?" Nasir asked suddenly.
"Hmm?" Agron replied.
"What keeps you from bed this evening?"
It was Agron's turn to look down this time, sadness overcoming his features.
Nasir noticed this and said, "Apologies…you need not tell me if you do not wish to."
Agron slightly shook his head. "No it is fine…dreams, or maybe they are more nightmares, of my brother cause me to be up at this late hour."
"Your brother?" Nasir asked, recalling Agron speaking of one before.
Agron nodded, "Since his…death, I find that I can find no rest without constantly seeing his bloodied and lifeless form drifting past closed eyes."
"Oh," Nasir said sadly, all of a sudden wishing that there was some way he could take the painful thoughts from the man and make them go away.
Agron sighed heavily then lifted his head and looked at Nasir. "Just as you are lost without path to walk on, I find myself lost without him being by my side and always I wish that the Gods had taken me instead of him."
Nasir took what Agron said in and then placed a hand on top of his. "Were there a way I could remove such thoughts from plaguing you…but I do not know of such, so instead I offer words like the ones you offered me."
"I am sure that your brother is looking down upon you right this instant and would not want to see most beloved brother looking so pained because of him. I think that he would want you to continue on living not only for his sake but he knows that there is yet more for you to do here."
"Besides," Nasir continued, now with a small smile on his face, "if you were gone from this world, then we would have never met and that would be a terrible thing indeed."
Agron gave out a small laugh at this and replied, "Yes…yes it would be terrible indeed," then with a softer look upon his face and a quick squeeze to Nasir's hand, "Gratitude for your words…and your company as well."
A slight blush appeared on Nasir's cheeks then and he said, "You are welcome, and…know that if you ever need listening ear, I would gladly offer mine to act as such."
Agron smiled even brighter at that. "I shall remember kind offer in the future and extend the same to you as well, should you need the same."
Nasir returned the smile and said, "Then we are in agreement then."