The In-Laws
THWUMP
That was the sound the Doctor's head made against a wall when he finally realized what his connection to the Ponds was.
This revelation came later than one might expect from a Time Lord who was usually quite bright in deductions like these. In fact, it was nearly a year after he got married to the enigma that was known as River Song. (Albeit in an alternate timeline where the two had to make contact with each other or have the universe die and burn out, but common, why would he ever have a normal wedding?)
He had just finished texting River on the shiny new phone Amy and Rory had bought him on Christmas when he finally figured it out. At this moment he was walking down the corridors in the TARDIS.
Hey, that was my wife I was texting. MY wife. How cool, I have a wife! Haven't had a wife in a long time. River Song, daughter of my best friends Amy and Rory, and my wife.
Wait. My wife?
Daughter of Amy and Rory Pond?
Oh, but that means then-
His eyes widened in surprise, and he accidentally ran headfirst into a wall.
THWUMP
They're my in-laws... he thought, his vision twirling around like a dizzy chick. He could hear his TARDIS laughing at him, poking fun at the fact that he had only now realized this.
~8~
An hour later, the next revelation came rushing to him like a freight train. At this time, he was balancing dangerously on a three legged stool, leaning close to a mirror, trying to wrap a bandage around his nose he had broken slamming into that wall.
Then an image flashed into his mind. A fleeting memory, of his mother-in-law grabbing him by the suspenders and pressing her lips against his, before their time and existence got so darn confusing. His MOTHER-IN-LAW. Had KISSED him.
He lost his balance and fell off the wobbly stool, whacking his chin on the counter. His nose bandage slipped off, leaving him a groaning, hurting mess on the floor.
~8~
A few minutes later, he somehow managed to squirm to the console room, moaning in pain all the way, and set it to land outside his parents-in-law's house.
He crawled to their blue door, and bellowed for them.
"AMMMMMMY! RORRRRRRY! YOUR SON-IN-LAW IS IN SERIOUS PAIN!"
Amy and Rory were sitting inside on the couch reading books when they heard the screaming voice of the Time Lord on their doorstep. The tall ginger one rolled her eyes.
"Do you think it's a paper cut again?" she asked her husband. He shrugged, and set his book down on the coffee table.
"Who knows, with the Doctor? I'll go check this time." Grunting, he pushed himself up from the soft couch and began to walk to the door.
Amy squinted, adjusting the round reading glasses perched upon her nose. "Honestly, some days I do wonder how River manages to put up with him."
Rory opened the door to see the Doctor, his son-in-law, curled up into a ball on his front porch. From the expansive ball of tweed he made crouched up like that, his head poked up. Rory flinched, seeing his current state.
The wounded Time Lord just grinned, although weakly, and with blood dribbling down his bruising chin. "Hi, Rory!"
He sighed. "I don't think I should ask how you managed to break your nose like that."
"No, no," he agreed. "That's a story for later. Though a bandage would be nice..."
"Yeah," he murmured, holding out an arm for him to grab, which he accepted. "Here, come on in! I'll get you fixed up. Perhaps you should learn to be more careful, though..."
"Careful? Nah, everyone's careful these days, it's too boring."
"Ha, if you say so, Doctor..."
And so his father-in-law carefully helped him up the stairs to find a bandage for that nose... And perhaps an ice pack for the chin.
These are the times, the Doctor supposed, that I love having a family to return home to after my travels.
Because, while wandering through time and space alone could have its advantages sometimes, it got lonely without others next to him, to be his best friends and share the wonders of the universe with. Even if the Ponds were his in-laws now, he felt more at home with them than he had in over hundreds of years.
And that was how he wanted things to stay.