The Legend Of…Ralph?
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in Tenno County where our main character Ralph lived. The loud sound of cars zooming down Main Street flooded the nearby sidewalk like a tidal wave of noise. "Boring Sunday with nothing to do and school tomorrow." Ralph thought to himself depressed. He had turned 16 the previous week and had the usual boring once a year age ceremony with Ron, and Kiko, the only two friends he had. Ralph was an awkward kid. He was nerdy, bad at keeping conversation, he had an annoying smart-aleck sense of sarcasm, and was insensitive to other people's feelings. Still it wasn't exactly his fault he was like this. He grew up with a strict single mother and never had a single friend until he was 10 years old. By the time he was 14 he was living in his own house making a living by working at a café. He had begun to blow off school either for work, or just to do as he pleased. He was a huge slacker. When most people his age were doing homework or studying, you could catch him in the park sitting atop a tree with his long shaggy blond hair blowing in the breeze, one eye staring blankly into the distance, and the other covered by hair lazily brushed to the left side.
The following day was a school day. Ralph was sitting in the Dean's office casually. "Mr. Gudrisill! Do you understand you may be repeating the 11th grade!" Dean Simmons barked. "I could care less." Said Ralph, "I practically live in the park and I've been stealing food from the café I work at for years, the simple life is fine by me." He continued. "Young man what you just described to me is the homeless life." Dean Simmons said. "Maybe the homeless have it easier." Ralph countered casually. "Well while I don't agree with what your life style choices are, I do agree with is the committee's policy to remove students who are willingly letting themselves fall behind." Ralph looked puzzled for a moment. "So you're planning to expel me?" He asked not the slightest bit upset at the statement. "Yes Mr. Gudrisill, we are." The Dean said with passion in his voice. Ralph thought for a moment. "Hell no more school for me." He concluded, and walked from the Dean's office with a smile on his face. "That Poor blonde bastard." The Dean thought to himself.
The next day Ralph took an opportunity to sleep in late. Not that being kicked out of school had any role in that, he was planning to sleep Tuesday in anyhow. Then there was a loud knocking at the door. "Ralph! Ralph buddy you in here!?" Two voices said from the other side of the door. Ralph woke up and walked to the front door. "Who is it?" He called from the empty living room. He knew exactly who it was. His mom didn't know where he lived and he hadn't ordered a pizza so it was most likely the only other two people in the world who would care where he was. "Ron? Kiko? Is that you guys?" He asked once he got to the door. "You know it buddy!" Kiko exclaimed from the other side of the door. Ralph opened up the door. "Come on in." He said lazily.
Once they were inside they sat cross legged on the hardwood floor in the other-wise empty living-room. "So Ralph? Is it true about the rumors?" Ron asked. "Depends on what rumor you're referring to. I've never been to in touch with gossip." Ralph said smugly. "Oh come on! Is it true you've been expelled or not!?" Kiko blurted out. "Oh? That's the gossip? Yeah that part is true." Ralph said emotionlessly. "But why, I heard you had a choice and you chose to get kicked out. Why!? How are we gonna hang out like we used too!?" Kiko was starting to get worked up. He was the kind of guy that quality time with friends was really important. "Relax buddy. We'll still hang out." Ralph reassured him. There was a long moment of silence. "Okay." Kiko said once he calmed down. "Hey Ralph how come you don't have furniture in your living room? Kiko asked trying to change the subject. "No real reason other than I can't afford it. It's not all bad though, with nothing in here I can practice using my nunchaku." Ralph said as he went to his room to get his nunchuks. "Your what?" Ron asked confused. "Nuchuks Ron." Kiko explained. Ralph came back into the room with an excited look on his face. "Check this out!" He said boldly. He started demonstrating his nuchuck skill. Swinging them in a beautifully awesome display mixed in with some kicks. He did front hand swings, back hand swings, and rolled the weapon across his neck, but when he went for an under the leg technique his nunchuks bumped something. Kiko laughed and Ron winced at the sight. Ralph had tagged himself right in the balls with the nunchucks. He felt an electrifying shock run through his body as his stomach muscles tensed up and sharp pain rung through his balls like a sound echoing in a quiet garage. He lied hunched on the hard living room floor gasping for air. "Man that was epic. I bet it took major BALLS" Ron said jokingly adding extra emphasis on that last word. Kiko laughed.
Once Ralph finally came back to his senses he was feeling pretty embarrassed. "Good thing only two people in the entire world saw that." He thought to himself. "Okay now that you've regrown your grapes, how bout we head to the park." Ron suggested. "Yeah that sounds cool." Kiko agreed. "Lets go!" Ralph was silent for a while "Yeah okay." He finally said. The trio walked to the park and headed towards Ralph's favorite tree, but once they got there Ralph let out a cry. "No! How could they!? My favorite tree!" Ralph was devastated. His favorite tree to climb up and sit in on lazy days was cut down. "No… That was the only tree I ever loved." Ralph almost looked like he could shed a tear, probably not because he actually missed the tree as a beauty of nature, but because it was a tree that he could lie in comfortably due to his abnormally long arms and legs. "Well there's still that tree over there." Ron said pointing to a small tree low to the ground. "Shut up Ron! You've always been scared of climbing high trees so you don't understand! I'm gonna sit here and mourn the loss of my tree." Ralph replied. "Jeez, you're as dramatic as ever." Kiko said. "We'll be on the basketball court, come find us when you're done whining." Kiko said as he and Ron walked off. Ralph looked at the stump that was once a tree. He took his nunchuks out of his back pocket and stood on the stump. He began swinging his nunchuks and catching them again when he accidentally dropped them. As he stooped down to pick up his weapon he noticed a green light coming out of the crack in the tree stump. He picked up his nunchuks and peeked more closely into the hole. "What the hell is that?" He thought. Then there was a large flash that engulfed his whole body. He fell unconscious.