(these are the stars of the circus, the best of the best)
(of the broken)
-xxx-
The first day they meet, Shizuo knows that he hates this boy. Izaya doesn't know a thing, just acts and laughs.
It's a role reversal from the very beginning, and it feels like the start of a spiral, something to spin them in and compress them down into nothing like ever before, and Izaya doesn't sleep at all that night, feels entirely too alive.
-xxx-
(he's armed with a crystal computer screen and darkasdarkestblack thoughts and he'll tell you everything about yourself)
(he's never been wrong)
-xxx-
Years later, their relationship hasn't changed at all. Shizuo hates and attacks, and Izaya thrills in the monstrosity of it all, sabotages Shizuo's life over and over again. Nothing's different, just more-so than before, exaggerated.
Shizuo hates more, Izaya laughs more, they're moremoremore and spiraling closer together down the drain, tension racketing up and up and up –
-xxx-
(he's the strongest man but really a monster, he'll lift anything up easy as paper and people goggle and stare, whisperwhisperwhisper)
(he breaks himself every time and never tells)
-xxx-
Shizuo's the same as always, always the same and so very angry. And Izaya's in love now and wickeder than ever for it, trying so hard to break the unbreakable.
The truth is, they're both just tired but they can't rest, they've got to keep up the pretense, and Izaya's wanting all the while, living more than ever before on the fast track to death, and Shizuo hateshateshates.
-xxx-
(a contradiction of kinds from the start, one's in the darkestdarkestdark tent, one's on the stage with the lights and fire and hurthurthurt)
(they hate it, both)
-xxx-
It's the same as it was the day it began but there's the softer edge now, the kisses and Izaya's lightfloatingbreathless and Shizuo is.
Shizuo's the same as ever too, hating so hard and violent and then, sometimes sucked in and slipping, sometimes kissing and Izaya's so helpless he's laughing and smashing this before it rips him to pieces.
-xxx-
(but that's the way the world works folks, gotta bring in the money so they best do what they're best at and forget the rest)
(no one cares to see the strongman smile or psychic as someone real)
-xxx-
Shizuo hates. Nothing changes. Izaya is – he's perplexed again, always, he's supposed to know things, and Shizuo hates him and nothing's changed and it's like he's still spiraling though, can't drag himself away, spinning down and down and he still wantslikefire.
But Shizuo hates. And Izaya can't have been wrong, he's never been wrong, and so what if they both feel like they're decaying down, it doesn't matter because it's always the same and never stops.
-xxx-
(why can't it just stop?)
Umso. I don't really know what this is or if it works, exactly...? I just had the thought a few days ago of the title, and ummm.
I wanted to make a Shizaya. But then I sat down and wrote this in a hour of dazymindedness and now I'm not certain what I've turned out. But. If you like it, that's good. I sort of do. In a very unsure boggled way.
Blarrgggggg it's two am I'm going to bed please review thank you.