Rei's Secret
By Misato Kaji
Disclaimer: This is a not-for-profit fanfiction piece, and is not authorized by Gainax in any way. Gainax it the rightful owner of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Ayanami Rei had a secret.
Of that much, Sohryu Asuka Langley was sure. She watched every day as the blue-haired girl waited for everyone else to leave class before slipping out and heading for some unknown location. She knew that no one else was aware of the secret - how could they be? Ayanami had been so careful to portray herself as the quiet, unshakable PERFECT little girl.
But she had made one mistake: she had looked around.
Not the greatest of betrayals, all things considered, but when Asuka had been forced to stay late at school one day, and had noticed the other pilot take a surreptitious look around the then-empty classroom before silently taking her leave, Asuka had known she had something to hide. And she intended to find out what.
She did not confront the other girl, though - oh no! That little doll would only give her an impassive stare and whisper that she did not know what the other girl was talking about. No, Asuka waited. She waited for two weeks, staying later and later at school under the guise of 'being interested in the drama club's activities' so as not to arouse suspicion.
On a scale of 1 to 10, she was only successful at about an 8. Her roommate, and fellow pilot, Ikari Shinji had asked her one day if everything was ok. She had managed to maintain her calm, informing the boy quite levelly that, though he was CURRENTLY rated higher than she for sync-ratios, she most assuredly did not need his pity or condescension.
When the brown-haired boy had stammered that he wasn't trying to be either pitying or condescending, she had brushed past him and headed for the auditorium, as if wasting any further time on idle prattle with the boy would be counterproductive to her timetable.
She had not been bothered by Shinji any further, and apparently their guardian, Katsuragi Misato, had not even noticed her staying later than usual, since she never said one word about it - and that was just fine by Asuka. The fewer people noticed, the fewer people could inadvertently tip the First Child off.
It was a Friday when she decided that she had waited long enough.
She came out of the auditorium as loudly as she could, joking with the idiots who thought she was actually interested in the stupid little production they were putting on and carrying her books under one arm, ensuring that no one would think she was there for any other reason.
She spied Ayanami making her way unconcernedly towards the exit, and she immediately stopped talking to the drama losers. Ignoring their looks of shock, she shoved her books into one of the boy's arms, mumbling that she had something she had to take care of, and took off down the hallway.
It was almost the end of the entire affair right then and there.
As she approached the corner, she came skidding to a halt, recalling how careful Ayanami had been up to that point. Slowly, she pressed herself back up against the row of lockers on the wall and peeked around the corner, making sure to stay in the shadow cast by the setting sun.
Her efforts at stealth were well rewarded.
Standing with her hand on the door, looking back into the school, Ayanami appeared as nothing so much as a criminal on the verge of committing her crime. Her body was tenser than Asuka had ever seen, and her ruby-red eyes scanned the hallway where Asuka was standing with great care, obviously trying to pick up any sign of a follower. Her lips, Asuka noted, were pulled down ever so slightly, as if she was too nervous to remain straight faced and frowning outright would be too much of a giveaway.
Asuka held her breath.
After thirty seconds, Ayanami blinked, seeming to decide that no one was following her, and let out a barely audible sigh. Her face once more became the impassive mask the redhead pursuing her was used to, and she stepped out the door without another look.
Asuka smiled to herself, waiting to the count of 10 before stepping out of the shadows and resuming her chase. The girl was careful, Asuka would give her that, but she was almost TOO careful. She was looking for a casual passerby, an idle, unconcerned wanderer that might discover her secret by accident. She never suspected that a combat-trained, determined college graduate was on her trail.
And Asuka intended to keep it that way.
Out on the street, Ayanami was already two blocks ahead of Asuka, moving with an even stride through the thronging masses of late-afternoon commuters, never once looking behind her to see if she was being followed. Asuka smiled as she started walking, knowing that her quarry would now lead her to her secret. She had become complacent, unaware - careless. And for that, she would pay the price.
For over six miles, the redhead pursued the blue-haired girl, ducking behind poles, mailboxes, or even other pedestrians any time it looked like her target was looking her way. Six miles. And for every step, Asuka's curiosity grew. Not a foot towards NERV headquarters, not an inch towards her rundown little apartment, the First Child walked straight for the edge of town.
Truly, Asuka decided, this most be a big secret - a HUGE secret!
She smiled as she imagined the look of dismay on the other girl's face when she confronted her.
As they neared a large park on the outskirts of town, Ayanami's gait took on an uncharacteristic bounce that gave the Second Child pause. Was the blue-haired Wondergirl going to see a boy, perhaps?? As unlikely as it seemed, the pieces clicked together quite nicely. The furtive glances, the constant double-checking for followers, the - wait! Could it be?
Asuka's eyes widened as the First Child entered the park. Could it be Shinji that she was going to meet? It was insane, but oh so plausible! Why else would he take note when she began staying late at school? He was worried she would find out, that's why! But Shinji? It almost seemed too farfetched.
Shaking her head to clear it, Asuka hurried into the park after Ayanami, oddly thrilled at the idea of finding the other two Children locked in a passionate embrace. How perfect would that be? To be able to put BOTH of them in their place! She knew they talked about her when she wasn't around, she wasn't stupid. It would even be worth being ranked second on the sync-tests to be able to shut both Ikari and Wondergirl up with a small, knowing smile.
The park was quiet. Of course, what better place for a secret rendezvous? Isolated from the rest of the world, away from prying eyes - the perfect place for Ayanami and Ikari to meet!
Or maybe Ayanami and Suzuhara? Or Aida? Asuka shook her head harder as the possibilities doubled and tripled. She couldn't explain why, but the idea of it being Touji or Kensuke seemed better somehow.
She did not pause to think on why, however, as she spotted Ayanami coming to a halt by the side of a small, meandering stream. She ducked down into the underbrush as the blue-haired girl suddenly took a sharp look around, her eyes narrowing slightly as she surveyed the terrain.
Asuka tried to make herself as small as possible, willing her body to remain absolutely motionless until the First Child finally looked away once more, her eyes seeming to rest on the stream at her feet.
Now, the redhead thought, pleased with her stealth, now we'll see who your secret boyfriend is!
After five minutes of waiting, Asuka began to grow antsy. Maybe the First had been stood up? While it would be fitting to have that little doll know the embarrassment of waiting forever for a date that would never show up, it was vexing. Asuka wanted to know WHO, dammit! She wanted to see with her own eyes who would be stupid enough to go out with the frost queen.
Her confusion grew as Ayanami took another quick look around, then sat down on the shore of the stream and began carefully removing her shoes.
Rising slowly to her feet to get a better look, the redhead frowned. What WAS the pale girl doing? She had taken her shoes off, setting them to the side with utmost care, and was methodically taking her socks off.
When the blue-haired girl was barefoot, she craned her head around once more, her eyes studying the underbrush all around as if searching for a spy. Asuka froze as red eyes passed over her hiding place, never once slowing as they completed their circuit.
Apparently satisfied that she was alone, Ayanami closed her eyes - and slipped her feet into the stream.
Asuka blinked as the First Child let out a soft, content sigh. What was this? Some kind of signal that the coast was clear and her boyfriend could approach her? No, nothing like that. She was still alone two minutes later. What, then? What was she doing? Another two minutes of silent observation passed before the truth dawned in Asuka's mind.
This WAS her secret.
Asuka's hand covered her mouth as the truth of it hit home, almost causing her to gasp as feelings of shame and pity - so very foreign to her - filled her. There sat the First Child, dangling her feet in a clear, babbling brook. Nothing so unusual to the average person, but to Asuka... to Asuka it was clear as crystal.
The secret, Rei's secret - was nothing more than the simple pleasure or dipping her feet in a stream.
But to Asuka, who had listened to Shinji tell her about how Ayanami felt that her only purpose in life was Eva, it was bigger than the prospect of a boyfriend. The First Child was a doll - nothing more! She only lived to follow orders and fight in her Evangelion. And yet, there she sat, almost smiling as the cool water washed lazily over her feet. There she sat, relishing the feeling of being alone and at peace.
There she sat, blatantly enjoying life.
How like an intruder the Second Child felt. She had been so determined to find out WHAT Rei's secret was that she failed to even consider WHY she had a secret at all. Another thought fell on her, dropping from the ether of her thoughts like a ton of bricks.
She was stealing.
There was no other way to describe it. She was taking something from Rei, just by being there. This was possibly the only thing that Rei EVER had that she could call her own, and Asuka was simply taking it - watching her from the shadows like a thief and KNOWING that Rei was more than just a puppet.
It was a harsh reality to be faced with.
Better to just leave, she decided, flushing faintly with shame. Yes, better to slip away and pretend she never saw this - let the other girl keep this for herself.
Asuka took a careful step back.
Rei's head came up in a flash as a branch behind her snapped.
Blue and red met in the still calm of the late afternoon, and there was a secret no more.
Asuka stayed still as Rei's eyes met hers, the red orbs wide with surprise, uncertainty, and a fear so palpable that the redhead almost cried. 'Please,' the blue-haired girl's eyes screamed, 'oh please God don't let this be happening!'
The Second Child swallowed as Ayanami's expression went blank once more, and she was shaken as the look in her eyes went from fear to despair. The redhead flinched as Ayanami turned back to the stream, closing her eyes once more and slowly, deliberately pulling her feet back onto the shore.
Rei waited silently for the other girl to run off and tell her secret. What else could be the outcome? The Second hated her - had hated her since the first time they had met. What better way to hurt her than to reveal what she did when no one was looking?
She'd never felt so helpless - or so unhappy. Soon this pleasure would be taken from her, and she would be back to her empty life. She knew she didn't really DESERVE something like this - why would she? Her life was Eva, Eva was her life, what purpose did coming here day after day to feel the gentle caress of water flowing over her unadorned feet serve?
None.
But still, she mused as she waited for the other girl to take flight, it had felt so nice.
The stillness of the glade was broken once more as Asuka slowly made her way to the other girl's side. In silence, she sat down and began removing her shoes.
Rei blinked, then stared as the Second Child sat on the grass next to her, removing her shoes and socks, and slipped her feet into the stream.
She looked at Asuka uncertainly as the girl leaned back, bracing herself on her hands, and looked up at the darkening sky. When the redhead made no move to leave, or speak, Rei tentatively slid her feet back into the water. They stayed that way for over ten minutes, simply watching the water tumble past and listening to the cicadas chirping.
Finally, Rei reclaimed her feet, drying them as best she could on the grass and slowly putting her socks and shoes back on. Then she stood, looking out at the stream as the other girl remained motionless. Asuka nodded as the blue-haired girl glanced questioningly down at her, answering the silent question in her eyes, and though neither of them ever spoke a word, there was understanding.
Before she could stop herself, Rei reached out and touched Asuka's shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before turning and heading off towards the gate to the park, never once looking back.
As she was left alone, Asuka let out a deep sigh. Rei's secret was safe with her, yes, it definitely was. She would not be the one to take something so precious from the other girl - no matter what she thought of her. She turned her head slightly, considering the shoulder Rei had touched, and smiled.
'Thank you,' the touch had whispered louder than the loudest scream,
'Thank you...'
The End
Notes - this story was written for Ryoma's WAFF fiction contest. And though it didn't do as well as I had hoped, I think it was a good story. WAFF doesn't always have to be romantic.
Constructive comments can be sent to misatokaji2002@yahoo.com but keep your flames to yourself. I have a life and I don't need my time wasted on reading annoying, destructive whining. Thank you.
MK
By Misato Kaji
Disclaimer: This is a not-for-profit fanfiction piece, and is not authorized by Gainax in any way. Gainax it the rightful owner of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Ayanami Rei had a secret.
Of that much, Sohryu Asuka Langley was sure. She watched every day as the blue-haired girl waited for everyone else to leave class before slipping out and heading for some unknown location. She knew that no one else was aware of the secret - how could they be? Ayanami had been so careful to portray herself as the quiet, unshakable PERFECT little girl.
But she had made one mistake: she had looked around.
Not the greatest of betrayals, all things considered, but when Asuka had been forced to stay late at school one day, and had noticed the other pilot take a surreptitious look around the then-empty classroom before silently taking her leave, Asuka had known she had something to hide. And she intended to find out what.
She did not confront the other girl, though - oh no! That little doll would only give her an impassive stare and whisper that she did not know what the other girl was talking about. No, Asuka waited. She waited for two weeks, staying later and later at school under the guise of 'being interested in the drama club's activities' so as not to arouse suspicion.
On a scale of 1 to 10, she was only successful at about an 8. Her roommate, and fellow pilot, Ikari Shinji had asked her one day if everything was ok. She had managed to maintain her calm, informing the boy quite levelly that, though he was CURRENTLY rated higher than she for sync-ratios, she most assuredly did not need his pity or condescension.
When the brown-haired boy had stammered that he wasn't trying to be either pitying or condescending, she had brushed past him and headed for the auditorium, as if wasting any further time on idle prattle with the boy would be counterproductive to her timetable.
She had not been bothered by Shinji any further, and apparently their guardian, Katsuragi Misato, had not even noticed her staying later than usual, since she never said one word about it - and that was just fine by Asuka. The fewer people noticed, the fewer people could inadvertently tip the First Child off.
It was a Friday when she decided that she had waited long enough.
She came out of the auditorium as loudly as she could, joking with the idiots who thought she was actually interested in the stupid little production they were putting on and carrying her books under one arm, ensuring that no one would think she was there for any other reason.
She spied Ayanami making her way unconcernedly towards the exit, and she immediately stopped talking to the drama losers. Ignoring their looks of shock, she shoved her books into one of the boy's arms, mumbling that she had something she had to take care of, and took off down the hallway.
It was almost the end of the entire affair right then and there.
As she approached the corner, she came skidding to a halt, recalling how careful Ayanami had been up to that point. Slowly, she pressed herself back up against the row of lockers on the wall and peeked around the corner, making sure to stay in the shadow cast by the setting sun.
Her efforts at stealth were well rewarded.
Standing with her hand on the door, looking back into the school, Ayanami appeared as nothing so much as a criminal on the verge of committing her crime. Her body was tenser than Asuka had ever seen, and her ruby-red eyes scanned the hallway where Asuka was standing with great care, obviously trying to pick up any sign of a follower. Her lips, Asuka noted, were pulled down ever so slightly, as if she was too nervous to remain straight faced and frowning outright would be too much of a giveaway.
Asuka held her breath.
After thirty seconds, Ayanami blinked, seeming to decide that no one was following her, and let out a barely audible sigh. Her face once more became the impassive mask the redhead pursuing her was used to, and she stepped out the door without another look.
Asuka smiled to herself, waiting to the count of 10 before stepping out of the shadows and resuming her chase. The girl was careful, Asuka would give her that, but she was almost TOO careful. She was looking for a casual passerby, an idle, unconcerned wanderer that might discover her secret by accident. She never suspected that a combat-trained, determined college graduate was on her trail.
And Asuka intended to keep it that way.
Out on the street, Ayanami was already two blocks ahead of Asuka, moving with an even stride through the thronging masses of late-afternoon commuters, never once looking behind her to see if she was being followed. Asuka smiled as she started walking, knowing that her quarry would now lead her to her secret. She had become complacent, unaware - careless. And for that, she would pay the price.
For over six miles, the redhead pursued the blue-haired girl, ducking behind poles, mailboxes, or even other pedestrians any time it looked like her target was looking her way. Six miles. And for every step, Asuka's curiosity grew. Not a foot towards NERV headquarters, not an inch towards her rundown little apartment, the First Child walked straight for the edge of town.
Truly, Asuka decided, this most be a big secret - a HUGE secret!
She smiled as she imagined the look of dismay on the other girl's face when she confronted her.
As they neared a large park on the outskirts of town, Ayanami's gait took on an uncharacteristic bounce that gave the Second Child pause. Was the blue-haired Wondergirl going to see a boy, perhaps?? As unlikely as it seemed, the pieces clicked together quite nicely. The furtive glances, the constant double-checking for followers, the - wait! Could it be?
Asuka's eyes widened as the First Child entered the park. Could it be Shinji that she was going to meet? It was insane, but oh so plausible! Why else would he take note when she began staying late at school? He was worried she would find out, that's why! But Shinji? It almost seemed too farfetched.
Shaking her head to clear it, Asuka hurried into the park after Ayanami, oddly thrilled at the idea of finding the other two Children locked in a passionate embrace. How perfect would that be? To be able to put BOTH of them in their place! She knew they talked about her when she wasn't around, she wasn't stupid. It would even be worth being ranked second on the sync-tests to be able to shut both Ikari and Wondergirl up with a small, knowing smile.
The park was quiet. Of course, what better place for a secret rendezvous? Isolated from the rest of the world, away from prying eyes - the perfect place for Ayanami and Ikari to meet!
Or maybe Ayanami and Suzuhara? Or Aida? Asuka shook her head harder as the possibilities doubled and tripled. She couldn't explain why, but the idea of it being Touji or Kensuke seemed better somehow.
She did not pause to think on why, however, as she spotted Ayanami coming to a halt by the side of a small, meandering stream. She ducked down into the underbrush as the blue-haired girl suddenly took a sharp look around, her eyes narrowing slightly as she surveyed the terrain.
Asuka tried to make herself as small as possible, willing her body to remain absolutely motionless until the First Child finally looked away once more, her eyes seeming to rest on the stream at her feet.
Now, the redhead thought, pleased with her stealth, now we'll see who your secret boyfriend is!
After five minutes of waiting, Asuka began to grow antsy. Maybe the First had been stood up? While it would be fitting to have that little doll know the embarrassment of waiting forever for a date that would never show up, it was vexing. Asuka wanted to know WHO, dammit! She wanted to see with her own eyes who would be stupid enough to go out with the frost queen.
Her confusion grew as Ayanami took another quick look around, then sat down on the shore of the stream and began carefully removing her shoes.
Rising slowly to her feet to get a better look, the redhead frowned. What WAS the pale girl doing? She had taken her shoes off, setting them to the side with utmost care, and was methodically taking her socks off.
When the blue-haired girl was barefoot, she craned her head around once more, her eyes studying the underbrush all around as if searching for a spy. Asuka froze as red eyes passed over her hiding place, never once slowing as they completed their circuit.
Apparently satisfied that she was alone, Ayanami closed her eyes - and slipped her feet into the stream.
Asuka blinked as the First Child let out a soft, content sigh. What was this? Some kind of signal that the coast was clear and her boyfriend could approach her? No, nothing like that. She was still alone two minutes later. What, then? What was she doing? Another two minutes of silent observation passed before the truth dawned in Asuka's mind.
This WAS her secret.
Asuka's hand covered her mouth as the truth of it hit home, almost causing her to gasp as feelings of shame and pity - so very foreign to her - filled her. There sat the First Child, dangling her feet in a clear, babbling brook. Nothing so unusual to the average person, but to Asuka... to Asuka it was clear as crystal.
The secret, Rei's secret - was nothing more than the simple pleasure or dipping her feet in a stream.
But to Asuka, who had listened to Shinji tell her about how Ayanami felt that her only purpose in life was Eva, it was bigger than the prospect of a boyfriend. The First Child was a doll - nothing more! She only lived to follow orders and fight in her Evangelion. And yet, there she sat, almost smiling as the cool water washed lazily over her feet. There she sat, relishing the feeling of being alone and at peace.
There she sat, blatantly enjoying life.
How like an intruder the Second Child felt. She had been so determined to find out WHAT Rei's secret was that she failed to even consider WHY she had a secret at all. Another thought fell on her, dropping from the ether of her thoughts like a ton of bricks.
She was stealing.
There was no other way to describe it. She was taking something from Rei, just by being there. This was possibly the only thing that Rei EVER had that she could call her own, and Asuka was simply taking it - watching her from the shadows like a thief and KNOWING that Rei was more than just a puppet.
It was a harsh reality to be faced with.
Better to just leave, she decided, flushing faintly with shame. Yes, better to slip away and pretend she never saw this - let the other girl keep this for herself.
Asuka took a careful step back.
Rei's head came up in a flash as a branch behind her snapped.
Blue and red met in the still calm of the late afternoon, and there was a secret no more.
Asuka stayed still as Rei's eyes met hers, the red orbs wide with surprise, uncertainty, and a fear so palpable that the redhead almost cried. 'Please,' the blue-haired girl's eyes screamed, 'oh please God don't let this be happening!'
The Second Child swallowed as Ayanami's expression went blank once more, and she was shaken as the look in her eyes went from fear to despair. The redhead flinched as Ayanami turned back to the stream, closing her eyes once more and slowly, deliberately pulling her feet back onto the shore.
Rei waited silently for the other girl to run off and tell her secret. What else could be the outcome? The Second hated her - had hated her since the first time they had met. What better way to hurt her than to reveal what she did when no one was looking?
She'd never felt so helpless - or so unhappy. Soon this pleasure would be taken from her, and she would be back to her empty life. She knew she didn't really DESERVE something like this - why would she? Her life was Eva, Eva was her life, what purpose did coming here day after day to feel the gentle caress of water flowing over her unadorned feet serve?
None.
But still, she mused as she waited for the other girl to take flight, it had felt so nice.
The stillness of the glade was broken once more as Asuka slowly made her way to the other girl's side. In silence, she sat down and began removing her shoes.
Rei blinked, then stared as the Second Child sat on the grass next to her, removing her shoes and socks, and slipped her feet into the stream.
She looked at Asuka uncertainly as the girl leaned back, bracing herself on her hands, and looked up at the darkening sky. When the redhead made no move to leave, or speak, Rei tentatively slid her feet back into the water. They stayed that way for over ten minutes, simply watching the water tumble past and listening to the cicadas chirping.
Finally, Rei reclaimed her feet, drying them as best she could on the grass and slowly putting her socks and shoes back on. Then she stood, looking out at the stream as the other girl remained motionless. Asuka nodded as the blue-haired girl glanced questioningly down at her, answering the silent question in her eyes, and though neither of them ever spoke a word, there was understanding.
Before she could stop herself, Rei reached out and touched Asuka's shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before turning and heading off towards the gate to the park, never once looking back.
As she was left alone, Asuka let out a deep sigh. Rei's secret was safe with her, yes, it definitely was. She would not be the one to take something so precious from the other girl - no matter what she thought of her. She turned her head slightly, considering the shoulder Rei had touched, and smiled.
'Thank you,' the touch had whispered louder than the loudest scream,
'Thank you...'
The End
Notes - this story was written for Ryoma's WAFF fiction contest. And though it didn't do as well as I had hoped, I think it was a good story. WAFF doesn't always have to be romantic.
Constructive comments can be sent to misatokaji2002@yahoo.com but keep your flames to yourself. I have a life and I don't need my time wasted on reading annoying, destructive whining. Thank you.
MK