Title: Ephemeral

Author: Mina Robins

Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager

Pairing: Seven /B'elanna

Rating: G

Word Count: 1374

Summary: The look of complete devotion, of utter love and adoration. A look that leaves you speechless and flushed with warmth.

The look that has no right to be here.

….

Voyager has been lucky these past few months. No unexplainable phenomena, no fight to the death with an alien species. The spirits were high and the ship had attained a box of fine Ariilux champagne from their last trade assignment.

…

It's Chakotay's birthday and everyone surrounds your husband. You are glad he's enjoying himself.

You wish him happy birthday and kiss his grinning cheek.

You smile as the Doctor flashes his holocamera. Your husband's hand is on your hip and yours is on top of his. You and him make an outwardly sound couple.

The two of you got together for more of a fling than a longterm relationship. He was a crush, you were a friend. You admired him; he was sort of a father figure to you. He trusted you and that was something noteworthy on its own. First Tuvok then Seska, he needed someone he could trust. Chakotay wanted to be over Seska's betrayal and abandonment; you wanted attention and companionship on a divided ship. The affair was brief and the marriage even quicker.

It was never a bad choice. It just wasn't the greatest. You both settled and it had never been clearer when you saw the attraction Chakotay had towards the distracted Janeway. You were jealous.

You wanted to get even, and you did.

The Captain and the Drone are no longer seeing one another.

Janeway has sought you out once and questioned you. Her hands gripping onto your wrist when you tried to maneuver away from her, you had grit your teeth and managed to politely ask her the cause of her actions. She tightens her grasp on you, the physical form of the desperation she cannot show openly on her face but can be easily identified in her voice.

She asks what had conspired between you and Seven of Nine. 'Nothing', was your curt reply. The Captain's piercing command glare sees otherwise but you are tight lipped and refused to answer her questions. She sits down onto your couch and pushes her palms against her eyes to hide the tears.

You turned away and left your own quarters.

The friendship you had with the Captain was sitting on a precipice and has remained there ever since. She became only the Captain of the ship to you. And you the Chief engineer to her.

Was it worth squandering your relationship with the Captain for a man you do not love? Was it worth making someone you found an undeniable connection to cry? You don't know and you refuse to think about it anymore. Because you have something stable and you are stubbornly clinging onto it. The only contact you've had with the Captain over the last 6 months have been fleeting and work related. You haven't even seen her at the mess hall, until now.

Until she walks in holding a present for Chakotay in one arm and Seven on the other.

She gleams at Seven and the taller of the two smiled politely back at her. The Captain either has forgotten how to read body language or has learned to be oblivious to Seven's emotions.

But you notice.

You can tell she's uncomfortable to be here. She is fidgeting with her sleeve because under it is the bracelet you've given her. It's obvious she isn't enjoying herself at the function and she's trying to form eye contact with you.

However, you refuse.

You release your hold on Chakotay's arm when the Captain gives him a congratulatory hug. When the two became immersed in their conversation you slip from their mist. You hang back as the rest of the crew, Marquis and Starfleet a like crowd around Voyager's second in command. Only one person stays back along with you.

Seven walks towards you deliberately. Painfully aware of how agitated you get when she tries to approach you. She has, on many occasions tried to address you on your actions toward her. Every time you've avoided her and when she had cornered you in your own domain you belittled her in front of the whole engineering crew. In your free time you've evaded her relentless hunt by sticking to Chakotay. She knows better than to bring up what has happened between the two of you in front of the 'doting' husband.

None the less, it never deters her from attempting. With Borg tenacity she has sought you out on countless occasions. And though every single time you've rejected her, yet, it doesn't stop her from trying today.

"B'elanna-"

"You know to call me Lieutenant."

"I apologize, I had presumed when we are off duty I could refer to you as-"

"Well you presumed wrong, what do you want?"

She sighs; she has gotten used to how callous you are towards her. You still recall the first time you had treated her in this manner after the incident. Her sky blue eyes showing hurt and confusion from your transformation. From the woman who had waited for her regeneration sequence to end just to welcome her with a smile. The one that cooked handmade dishes for her adjusting metabolism and spent hours with her traveling to every beautiful place earth had to offer in the holodecks. The blonde was seeking the B'elanna who had sent Janeway countless pads containing the schematics for a portable regeneration device. The device's locality was heavily suggested most appropriate for installation within a crewman's quarters. Thus bringing up the fact that Seven had no quarters of her own to call home. Seven was desperately trying to find the woman who had stood up to Janeway and stated that the Borg children were Seven's family. Seven wanted the friend who had sheltered her from the Doctor's examination when her cortical node had failed.

The woman she had fallen in love with.

The woman she obviously still loves.

You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from offering some kind of excuse for your rudeness.

"Lieutenant, why do you remain with him?"

"It's none of your business!" you hiss at her, hoping no one had overheard what she had noted.

"You are unhappy in this union and thus it concerns me." Her normal Borg monotone falters when she speaks with you. She still can't let go of the quiet evenings you've spent together reading stories to her Borglings.

She reaches out and tilts your chin so gently you could have easily kept your head down. At this second there is only the two of you. The moment your eyes meet hers you are once again facing the look of complete devotion, of utter love and adoration. A look that leaves you speechless and flushed with warmth.

The look that has no right to be here.

…

A sham of a relationship meant only to be part of sabotage collapsed into reality. A plot that was only meant to hurt another became love. The feelings you have for Seven were true. And you couldn't bear it. You could not face the person you love more than anything in the world and tell her you have taken her body and soul just so you could hurt Janeway the same way Chakotay had hurt you.

You've tainted everything that could have been. You could not and would not hold Seven and whisper your heart to her while remembering that this had all started in the name of revenge.

So you left the warm bed that contained your lover. You made sure to ban the image of your night together from your mind. Forcing yourself to forget the feel of her satin skin against yours. Of the sounds she made and of the way she tasted on your lips.

…

You push Seven away from you as if she was corrosive plasma. "I've used you." You spat out the words that have been a repeating mantra ever since your separation from her. You've used it every time you see the woman your soul craves for and yet have to avoid due to intangible principles.

Her doe eyes are brimming with tears as she wraps her arms around your trembling body.

"I know," She murmurs, the next words she whispers causes you to begin sobbing. "And I do not care."

…