The first time Shizuo met his new roommate, he didn't like the man.
For one thing, he smelled like shit. A mixture of booze and fast food grease followed him like a trail as he swept through the living room of what was apparently Shizuo's new home. His black haired roommate didn't even acknowledge him- nor his two best friends- as he wandered into his room like a zombie.
Thirty minutes later he reappeared looking freshly showered and clean, with a big, fake smile stretched across his paper white face.
"Hope I didn't keep you waiting long." He drawled, all but prancing into the little living room where Shizuo, Shinra, and Celty had hunkered down.
And yeah, he acted and sounded like a fucking prat on top of the bad first impression. Which was just fantastic. Just the roommate Shizuo had always wanted.
"You remember the love of my life, Celty Sturluson, right?" Shinra smiled at the stranger in their midst like he wasn't an actual garbage bag in human form. Said stranger nodded, eyes darting across the three of them restlessly. "And that's Shizuo! We've talked about him on the phone, remember? Shizuo, this is my cousin, Izaya Orihara."
"Nice to meet you." Izaya's smirk was so sharp it may as well have been a knife running across his chest. Shizuo kind of grunted, not quite ready or willing to return the sentiment.
"Celty and I found the cutest little apartment! We really wanted to find something with two bedrooms so Shizuo could stay with us, but you know how the market is right now. But I remembered how you were wailing about rent taking up most of your pay these days, and thought it was just perfect! A blessing in disguise, right?" Shinra continued on in the beat of silence. It only made Shizuo's mood worse.
The only reason he'd really agreed to move to the city with his two best friends was because they promised him he'd be their roommate. But as their move out day drew closer and closer and finding a two bedroom became more and more impossible, Shinra had suggested this hellish arrangement.
Apparently Izaya had been looking for a roommate for a while, ever since he'd quit his second job. And Shinra- for god knew what reason- thought that Shizuo and Izaya would get along famously. Shizuo should've known better.
Now there he was, stuck in a stupid situation with a weird roommate while Celty and Shinra got to play happy couple in their one bedroom across town.
"What do you do?" Shizuo was jerked out of his sulking by a sharp finger poking his cheek. He whipped his face towards Izaya, batting at the claw like hand that was way too close to his face. Izaya smirked, but withdrew his hand.
"What?" Shizuo growled.
"I asked what you do. Like for work." He repeated, sounding far too amused for Shizuo's liking.
"I'm a bartender." He huffed.
"He's really good Izaya! You should let him practice on you." Shinra suggested with a ruthless gleam in his eye. Izaya's face darkened all at once, his grin vanishing into pursed lips.
"What do you do?" Shizuo demanded, sensing the mood take a sharp swan dive. As unhappy as he was about their situation, he wasn't going to let it descend into a total war zone on his first day here.
"I'm a researcher, of sorts. I fact check for an online column."
"Online gossip rag." Shinra mumbled under his breath. This time Izaya only rolled his eyes, clearly less prickly about his job than he was about his drinking habits.
"Doesn't stop you from reading it." He pointed out dryly.
Celty waved to get Shizuo's attention, signing a quick question about whether he was feeling okay. She had been doing it all day. Shizuo knew she was pretty worried- maybe even more so than Shizuo himself. He knew she felt awful that they had to break their promise to him, but there really wasn't anything to be done. Shizuo knew it- as bitter as he was to admit it.
"I'm fine." He promised, though he wasn't sure of that himself. He felt Izaya watching him and tried not to let irritation build at the feeling of that wine colored gaze on him.
"So I already told you the basics Shizuo. Rent is first of the month, you have your own room and bathroom and run of the kitchen. Is there anything you wanted to ask Izaya while you've still got his attention? He'll probably vanish again soon." Shinra proposed, clearly wanting to get it over with so he could be on his merry way with his darling sweetheart.
"I'm not expected to spend time with you, am I?" Shizuo all but growled, darting a dark look at Izaya. The man in question didn't even blink.
"I wouldn't dream of it Shizu-chan. You won't even know I'm here." He promised sweetly, sweeping out of his seat like the storm in human skin he clearly was. "Well, as my dear cousin said, it's time for me to make my next vanishing act. Your key is on the table by the door. If you need anything, figure it out yourself. Don't bother me about it."
And then he was gone, the door of his room snapping shut before Shizuo could even get offended by his words. He turned a glare on his so-called friends instead.
"Hey, it'll be great! It's like you're living alone really, when you think about it!" Shinra exclaimed, trying to save his own skin. At that moment, Shizuo wasn't paying much mind to his words. So how could he have known that they would only get truer and truer as time went on?
Shizuo sulked the entire first day he was there. And then the entire first week. By the end of the first month, he was still bitter about rooming with Izaya, but he had to admit it wasn't that bad.
It was just like Izaya said, he didn't even know he was there. The other man was never home, for one. And if he was, Shizuo sure as hell didn't know about it. He'd been there a month and could count on one hand how many times he'd seen Izaya.
During those moments, the most they interacted was quick eye contact just to acknowledge each other. Izaya never spoke to him, and Shizuo was okay with that. Based on their first conversation, he was relatively certain any talking would immediately lead to fighting. Especially if Izaya ever called him Shizu-chan again.
He was also relatively sure the other man was surviving off of fast food, since Izaya never used any dishes. He never interacted with anything in the apartment, actually. The TV was never on, no chair was ever out of place at the table. The only time anything was moved, it was Shizuo's doing.
Izaya seemed to only exist inside his room. He didn't leave messes, and he didn't seem to notice if Shizuo left a mess. By all counts, he was actually the chillest roommate ever.
But Shizuo still didn't like living with him. He couldn't put his finger on why exactly, he just knew that it felt weird. He never stopped bitching about it to Celty either. And because Celty was an actual saint, she just listened patiently and tried to give advice.
The key word there, of course, was 'try'. All of the advice she so lovingly offered was stuff that definitely would've worked with Shinra. But she'd only met Izaya twice before Shizuo moved in with him, so neither of them really knew how to handle the raven. Shinra was no help either.
"He's weird. You're pretty weird too." He scoffed, flipping through his medical textbook.
"There's weird and there's whatever the fuck Izaya is. Like, does he even eat? Have you ever seen him eat?" Shizuo pestered, pacing around his friends living room. Celty was watching him from the kitchen while she tried and failed to figure out a brownie recipe. Shinra on the other hand didn't even look up from his homework.
"Shizuo he's my cousin- my second cousin at that. We hung out a lot during junior and high school, but I don't monitor everything he does." Shinra drawled dryly, completely dismissive. Shizuo didn't get Shinra. It must have been a family trait though, because he didn't get Izaya either.
"Well what am I supposed to do, just ignore the fact that he doesn't eat?" It was by far the biggest thing he noticed. The food he bought for the apartment was never so much as touched to get to the food that had been there before- not that there was much to begin with.
"Yes." Shinra immediately sighed. "First you were mad because you thought Izaya would be a bad roommate. Now you're saying he's an actual ghost and doesn't give you one bit of trouble, but you're still angry? Can't you just do what he's doing for you and ignore him?"
"But he-"
"Shizuo, come on! You lucked out, he's totally okay with not being the super involved roommate. He doesn't nag you or cause problems for you. Let him live his life too."
Shizuo looked desperately to Celty, but she only shrugged. Likely she agreed, or at the very least just didn't have anything better to offer.
The blond growled and stormed out onto their patio to smoke. It only took Celty five minutes to follow him out.
'Why are you so concerned about him?'
Shizuo sighed, rubbing his face. "I'm not concerned. I'm weirded out. I dunno. He's just…weird. Like I don't think he's healthy. Or sane." Celty laughed in her adorable, silent way. Where her face lit up and her shoulders shook and little whooshes of air left her lips, but no sound. It made Shizuo smile too just watching it.
'I don't think any relative of Shinra's could be sane.'
And well, she had him there. It didn't make him feel better, but he pretended it did, just to make her feel better.
'Just give it time, Shizuo. I'm sure you and Izaya will figure each other out soon enough.'
He nodded, just because he didn't feel like ranting about how he didn't want to figure Izaya out. He didn't want to be obsessed by the odd creature he shared an apartment with. But he was. And it sucked.
More than anything he wished a two bedroom would open up by the end of his friends' lease. The sooner he could put Izaya behind him, the better.
"I'm not hungry." Izaya tried to brush past his cousin, but didn't get far. Speaking from experience, Shizuo knew it was almost impossible to get past Shinra when he put his mind to something. Admittedly it wasn't Shinra's idea to stage a dinner party to try and coax the roommates into interacting. But his beloved had begged for his help, and he would never let Celty do anything by herself if she needed him.
"Have you eaten today?" Shinra challenged, easily shoving the slimmer man towards the table Celty was happily setting. Shizuo for his part only glowered from the doorway of his room.
"That's none of your business." Izaya muttered.
"Which means no, which means you're eating with us." Shinra smiled victoriously at the pout Izaya was making. Shizuo wasn't even sure if the raven knew he was doing it. The blond scoffed to himself. "You too Shizuo. Get over here."
"I don't think so. Smells like shit." He grunted. Celty looked scandalized, which in turn made Shinra fume.
"That's a horrible thing to say! Celty worked hard on this food and-"
"I wasn't talking about the food." Shizuo rumbled, eyes darting over Izaya just long enough for the gaze to carry the weight of his meaning. The smaller man stiffened up in his seat, glaring at his roommate. Shinra kind of forced a laugh.
"Well suck it up! The only way you're getting some of Celty's wonderful cooking is if you park your ass over here in the next ten seconds! One! Two! Thr-"
"Shut up." Shizuo barked, begrudgingly pulling himself from his doorway just to make his friend stop. Shinra looked far too pleased with himself, skipping around the table to kiss Celty on the cheek.
With his options being to split up the happy couple or to sit next to his brooding ghost of a roommate, Shizuo plopped down next to Celty just seconds before Shinra did. Unfortunately for him, Shinra didn't quite see him take his seat. Before he knew it, Shizuo had a lap full of medical student.
"Well one of us is going to have to move. And it's-" Shizuo shoved the bespectacled man off his lap before he could finish. Shinra picked himself up from the floor with an audible huff. "Rude. You've been living with Izaya for all of three months and you're already more of an asshole."
Shizuo ignored him. And he fervently told himself it wasn't in favor of studying the way Izaya's lips almost curved up in a smile.
It vanished when Celty waved to get his attention. 'So how has living with Shizuo been?'
For half a moment Shizuo thought that the confusion on Izaya's face was because he didn't understand sign language. But then the rotten little shit opened his mouth.
"Shouldn't you be asking him that? I'm sure he'd love to whine and complain in person like he does over the phone every night." Izaya drawled, propping his chin on his fist to flick a lazy glance at Shizuo.
"You listen to my conversations?" He all but growled.
"It's hard not to when I can hear every word you shout." Izaya replied easily enough. "You should really be more considerate of the neighbors Shizu-chan."
"You little-"
"So Celty and I are planning on going to the coast for my break coming up! You guys should come!" Shinra exclaimed, reaching across the table for a bowl and using his body as a physical break between them.
"Pass. Take the beast with you though. Let him stretch his legs, clomp around on floors that don't vibrate with every monstrous step he takes." Izaya sighed, idly playing with his butter knife.
"I'm gonna fucking kick your ass!" Even if Shinra actually stood up on the table as a distraction, Shizuo was sure he'd still reach right through his friend to try to get his hand around Izaya's neck. So he was surprised when his body jerked back of it's own accord, pulling away from the raw pain that flashed across his palm.
The blond turned his hand up, shocked to see the deep cut carved across the flat of skin. Golden eyes flicked up to trace the now bloody edge of the butter knife that Izaya held easily between his fingers. He twirled it like it was a toy- like he hadn't just used it to cut open his roommate's palm as easily as if he was using a scalpel.
"Careful Shizu-chan. Those beastly instincts of yours might get you in trouble one of these days. I'd hate to have to find a new roommate already."
It would have been fair to say Shizuo was in shock. He was later convinced that shock was the only reason he hadn't snapped Izaya's neck that night. Well, shock and Celty's surprisingly strong grip when she reach over to hold him in place.
By the time Shizuo managed to shake her off, Izaya was gone. Locked into his room again, not to be seen for a few more weeks.
The next time he saw Izaya it was more surprising than usual. Probably because it wasn't even in their apartment. Shizuo was walking back from work at nearly five in the morning when he was shoved to the side by someone.
That in and of itself was infuriating. But to look up and recognize the ridiculous fur lined coat that he saw hanging by the door most days only made it worse.
Izaya didn't even pause. Shizuo wondered if he even realized it was his roommate he just pushed aside. The scrawny little shit just kept running, like the devil himself was on his heels. Shizuo was almost tempted to run after him. To slam him into the wall of an alley and demand to know what the fuck was wrong with the raven.
He was sure the list was too long to hear in one night anyway.
By the time he got home, nearly twenty minutes later, Izaya was still gone. Shizuo even peeked into his room just to be sure. He was shocked by how clean it was, to be honest.
Sure there were things everywhere, on every surface, with no apparent order. But there was nothing on the floor, no spec of dust on the many bookshelves lined up on his walls. It spoke of an obsessive personality- something he was far too well acquainted with after his last relationship.
Shizuo closed the door softly, hoping he hadn't upset the flow of Izaya's little world just by breathing. Vorona would spiral into a full week of the silent treatment if Shizuo so much as shifted something in her apartment that she needed to have in its proper place. And Shizuo did not want to know how Izaya dealt with something being off in his space.
So he hurried to his room to pretend that he'd never so much as touched the doorknob to his roommate's sanctuary.
Hours later, when Shizuo heard the gentle hush of the front door opening, he ran to catch his roommate before he could disappear again. He almost didn't make it, bursting from his room just as Izaya was opening his bedroom door.
"Hey!" Izaya froze, his face whipping towards Shizuo. He was covered in sweat- despite the cool night temperature outside- and his eyes were nearly black from how big his pupils were. For one second he looked terrified of Shizuo. And then he blinked and a smirk curled across his mouth- completely changing his face.
"Can I help you Shizu-chan?" He purred, leaning casually against the frame of his doorway. Shizuo growled, stalking towards the smaller man.
"What the fuck was that earlier? You nearly pushed me into the street." He accused. He could see confusion on Izaya's face that he wasn't sure the raven meant to put there. That only made it more genuine. "You ran past me, shoved me out of the way."
"Oh. That." Understanding lit his eyes, but his confused frown only shifted to a bitter one. "Well obviously I was acting on a personal vendetta against you. Because, you see, I live my entire life to torment you." Shizuo knew it was sarcasm, no matter how deadpan Izaya's delivery was. And really, the smaller man was devastatingly good with sarcasm. It was maddening.
"I-za-ya-kun." He growled, his fingers flexing with the desire to wring his roommates' skinny neck. Izaya stepped back, like he could read the intention in Shizuo's dark glare. Shizuo grabbed the edge of his door before it could shut in his face. "What the fuck is your problem? Do you have a death wish or something?"
"I don't know what you're talking about Shizu-chan. But then again, I'm not sure you know what you're talking about either. How much of a grasp on the Japanese language do you even have? I have to admit, I'm impressed they got an ape to speak at all, let alone almost-fluently."
Shizuo could hear the wood of Izaya's door creaking in protest under his grip. He knew he had to let go soon, or have to pay to get it fixed. His other hand shot out to grab Izaya's shirt instead, and allowed him to drop his hold on the door.
"I fucking hate you." He hissed, only inches from the other man's face. Izaya never stopped smirking. Shizuo wanted to wipe it off his face, replace it with a bruise instead. Maybe a split lip or two.
"Duly noted. Although, a bit redundant at this point. I knew you hated me from the moment you saw me." He explained casually. Shizuo's eye twitched.
"Then why room with me?" He demanded. Izaya shrugged.
"Monster or no, you pay the rent. That's all I require." If he wasn't so close, there would've been no way for Shizuo to notice the way Izaya's eyes dulled on the words. He would have never been able to see the way the smaller mans smirk fell at the edges. But he saw everything. And he hated it.
"You're a freak." Shizuo muttered, pushing Izaya away like he was worried about catching some of his crazy. The raven stumbled a little, reaching out for the wall to stabilize himself. He sent a glare up at the towering blond in his doorway.
"Guess you better go back to avoiding me then." He suggested stiffly, taking a few cautious steps forward to get his hand on his door.
Shizuo wanted to yell at him more, but there was nothing else to say. He let Izaya close the door in his face and he stood growling at it for a long time before he made himself turn away and return to his room.
Izaya was infuriating. Sleeping on Celty and Shinra's couch would've been preferable to living with the raven for even a moment longer. Shizuo wondered how much complaining he'd have to do before they agreed with him though.
It was freezing in his room when Shizuo jerked awake. At first he thought the cold was what woke him. But as the fog cleared from his eyes, he remembered the sharp shatter that drew him to consciousness only a few hours after falling asleep.
His glassy gaze shot across his room- darting from the window he foolishly left open before he fell asleep, to the door he always kept locked at night. Nothing was out of place. Nothing was broken. So where had that noise come from? He knew he heard a crack- like something broke. Was it Izaya?
He wasn't sure why he got up so fast after that thought. He was still asleep enough that it seemed like only a blink before he was standing in front of Izaya's door. He debated knocking, but he could hear the tinkling sounds of broken something beyond the thin barrier of the door. In the end, he was just too tired to care, and opened the door.
Izaya wasn't in the main bedroom, but the door to his bathroom was wide open. Once Shizuo took a few steps into the room it was easy to see the raven. And the remains of his broken mirror littering the counter and floor.
There were drops of blood everywhere. They splattered across most of the floor, where Izaya knelt trying to gather shards of glass with his bare hands. He was sniffling ever so softly, his eyes puffy and red when they shot up to pin Shizuo in place. He looked surprised. And then he looked angry.
"What the fuck are you doing in here?" He demanded, curling his hand tight around a shard of glass he'd obviously forgotten he was holding. With a wince and a new trail of blood, he relaxed his fist and the glass dropped back to the floor.
"I heard a noise." Shizuo reported, somewhat slowly because of his still slow brain. It hadn't even clicked yet, what he was seeing. As he stepped closer and Izaya flinched back, he woke up more and started to process.
The mirror was broken. It was obviously the noise he heard. But how did it break? And why was there so much blood? It was all over Izaya's hands.
"Go away. Go back to sleep. It's just a broken mirror." Izaya ordered, but it was weak. As weak as he looked.
Shizuo did leave, but it was only to grab the broom he bought months ago. Izaya looked shocked to see him return. He was even more surprised when Shizuo started sweeping up the pieces of glass.
The blond shooed Izaya back until he was sitting on the toilet seat, feet up and knees crushed to his chest, looking obviously unsettled. Shizuo kept shooting little looks at him, but Izaya was clearly lost in his mind. The raven didn't look at him the entire time he gathered the ruined mirror into a little pile and swept it into a dustpan.
It was only once Shizuo knelt in front of Izaya and took his still sluggishly bleeding hand in his own that the smaller man seemed to wake up. "What are you doing?" He muttered, jerking away from his touch. Shizuo kept a firm hold on his wrist, darting a glare up at him.
"Hold still. You have glass in your hand." He rumbled, picking at the bigger pieces. Izaya's eyes glazed over again, staring at Shizuo but probably not seeing him. Even when the blond left again to grab the first aid kit Shinra gave him, he didn't budge. And he was in the same place when Shizuo returned.
He had to use tweezers to get the smaller shards, and occasionally Izaya would flinch. The deepest ones were between his knuckles, and he hissed in surprised pain when Shizuo had to dig particularly hard to get one out.
"Christ, what did you do, punch it?" Shizuo sighed, and froze at his own words. How had he not realized it sooner? He must've been groggier than he thought, to miss the most obvious answer.
Izaya clenched his fist, and little rivulets of blood ran down his skin. Shizuo coaxed his grip back to relaxed, continuing on silently. If he was honest, he was afraid to say anything about the cause of Izaya's predicament. He was sure the other man would make him leave if he did. And he wasn't sure why, but he had the powerful urge to finish his job before Izaya ordered him out.
After he finally picked out all the glass in Izaya's hands, he had to squeeze a few shards from the raven's knees and feet. It felt like it took hours, but at the same time it felt like the blink of an eye before he was wetting a washcloth to mop up the blood. And then he pulled out bandages; having to use most of the supply in his first aid kit.
"Why'd you do it?" He asked once he'd covered the last of the bad cuts with a bandage. There were still smaller scratches, but they'd already clotted. He didn't want to waste a band-aid on something so small.
"None of your business." Izaya brushed him off immediately, flexing his hands and feet tenderly- like he only realized they'd been hurt once he saw the bandages on them. Shizuo grabbed him by his shoulder, scowling.
"I fucking helped you, didn't I?" Izaya scowled right back.
"I didn't ask you to." He reminded the blond, shoving at his chest with his foot. There was enough strength in his legs to push Shizuo off balance, and he skipped over his roommate while he was down. "Now kindly get out. This is a serious breech of privacy, Shizu-chan." Like leaving the bathroom flipped a switch, he was already back to the Izaya that Shizuo loved to hate.
"Are you fucking serious?" He yelled, pacing after the smaller man with every intention to shake some sense into him. When he grabbed Izaya's arm and yanked him around, he was shocked to be met with the cold feeling of glass on his neck.
He wasn't sure when Izaya got hold of one of the larger shards of glass, but it didn't really matter. Not when his roommate was looking up at him like he was a trapped animal who would bite if he had to. Shizuo slowly let him go.
"Don't make me ask again. Get out." He stated, but he didn't press any harder with the shard. Shizuo didn't think Izaya really wanted to cut him. But he knew he would. If he had to.
So he left. He slammed the door to his room behind him and he resisted the urge to punch his own mirror out of pure unsettled aggression.
He didn't end up going back to sleep all night. But based on the restless movement on the other side of his wall, Izaya didn't either.
At least they were miserable together.
"He really punched a mirror? Like with his hand?" Shinra seemed to be having a hard time believing it. Or he just wasn't paying enough attention to really process it. He was splitting his focus on three things at once, so it was probably the latter.
Celty on the other hand, was freaking out.
'Is he okay? Did you have to take him to the hospital? Did he need stitches?'
Her motherly questions kept coming while Shizuo's frustrations continued building. It wasn't Izaya's physical health he wanted them to be focusing on.
"Will you fucking listen to me?" He snapped at Shinra, and inadvertently Celty as well. They both looked at him with wide eyes. "Look, he's your cousin. You have to know at least whether or not he's safe."
"What, you mean do I think he'd ever hurt you?" Shinra seemed even more surprised by this idea than the idea of Izaya punching a mirror. "No, he's never hurt anyone before. I mean he did take the blame for when I got stabbed in middle school, but that was a different story. And he did set up the situation that got the kid who really stabbed me beat up, but again, that's totally different than-"
"He fucking held a shard of glass to my neck." Shizuo snapped.
"Was he scared of you?" Shinra immediately returned.
Shizuo thought of the wide eyed look Izaya gave him the night before. He thought at the time that Izaya was just doing what he had to in order to make Shizuo leave him alone. But the more he thought about it during his sleepless night, the more he knew that Izaya had been scared. He saw it in the way he was shaking even as he glared so coldly.
"I mean…" Shizuo rumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up. Shinra hummed knowingly.
"Thought so. Just like at dinner a few months ago, when he swiped at your hand." The bespectacled man pointed idly to his left hand, like Shizuo would have forgotten the stinging cut Izaya inflicted on him. "He doesn't really strike out at people unless they move at him first. He's definitely a defensive predator, if that makes sense. He messes with people, but he doesn't usually bodily hurt hem unless he's scared."
"I wasn't gonna hurt him!" Shizuo yelled.
"How was he supposed to know that? He doesn't know anything about you." Shinra drawled, clearly bored. But the aspiring doctor was wrong.
Izaya did know something about Shizuo. He knew that Shizuo hated him. And he knew that Shizuo was angry, because he was refusing to be cooperative- like the little shit he was. It wouldn't have been hard for him to imagine Shizuo getting angry enough to hurt him because he was being such a little shit. Given how shaken Izaya was beneath his bravado, Shizuo knew that he had been terrified of him in that moment.
"What about to himself?" He finally murmured. Shinra raised an eyebrow curiously. "Is he a danger to himself?"
Shinra studied him for a long moment, head tilted to the side and a clearly puzzled expression on his face.
"How should I know?" He asked at length. Shizuo glared, ready to actually toss the medical student across the room. Shinra must've sensed it too. He sighed. "He's crazy. So probably." With a shrug that said everything about his level of disinterest in the conversation, Shinra turned back to the assignment he'd been trying to complete before Shizuo got there.
And Shizuo was left with Celty's worried fluttering of hands and his own thoughts.
Did it matter, if Izaya was a danger to himself? As long as he wasn't an active danger to Shizuo, it should be fine, right? After the night before, and all their other scarce interactions too, he shouldn't give a rats ass about whether or not Izaya fucked himself up. So why wasn't it settling well with him?
Even when he went outside to smoke his way through the last half of his pack, he couldn't get it out of his head. For once it wasn't Shinra or Izaya that he couldn't figure out, it was himself. That was what made it all so much worse.
Shizuo had started to keep a list in his phone. Little things that he would notice about his roommate, and how frequently he would notice them. The biggest offenders were the dark circles under Izaya's eyes, followed by ratty hair that obviously hadn't been washed or brushed in days.
The more concerning things he saw were thankfully fewer, but he still had yet to see the raven eat. He'd seen Izaya taking big garbage bags of empty alcohol bottles out to the dumpster more times than he'd ever seen take out containers in the trash, by far.
He thought about bringing his list to Shinra, but he knew what the other man would say. That he was getting too obsessed with Izaya and he needed to lay off. It was what Shinra had said to finally dismiss the mirror debate. After which Shizuo had to show extreme restraint to keep from socking the med student.
So he kept it to himself, adding more as he noticed it, and adding tallies whenever he spotted something he'd seen before.
The presence of knives on the raven was unnaturally high, considering he was a fucking online journalist's researcher. He often came home covered in sweat, and Shizuo knew it was from running for hours on end. He was careless and reckless and showed no apparent concern for his well being.
Not that he showed much awareness for the well being of anyone around him either.
He never had visitors, no friends or coworkers to speak of. Shizuo still didn't know where he went if he left home, but he doubted it was to meet up with people.
If it was, they weren't great people. Izaya always looked tired and dazed when he got home- that was a constant, whether he was sober or drunk or sweaty.
As often as he saw Izaya bringing home alcohol, he began to notice that the raven wasn't actually drunk very often. Maybe once a week he'd reek with the scent of it, but every other day he just looked like he was suffering the hangover of that quarter monthly binge. He was ragged and erratic.
So the break in pattern almost threw Shizuo off. It had only been a couple days since Izaya's binge day when he came wandering in about an hour after Shizuo himself got home from work. He was clearly drunk, the shine in his eyes was more sluggish than usual. Not to mention the fact that he carried the scent like a second skin. Shizuo dropped the bowl of curry he was eating and ran to intercept him.
"Move." Izaya mumbled, somehow managing to slur one word. Shizuo grabbed him by his shoulders to keep the raven from just going around him. He directed the wobbly raven to the couch and made him sit.
"You need to drink water." Shizuo chided, bringing him one of the bottles he kept in the fridge. At first he thought Izaya might turn up his nose to it, but he was shocked when his roommate actually took the bottle from his hand. "You don't normally get drunk twice in a week."
"Have you been watching me, Shizu-chan? I had no idea you were such a dutiful watch dog." He drawled, sloppily missing his mouth a few times with the water. Shizuo guided his shaking hand to rest the lip of the bottle against his mouth.
"Did something happen?" Shizuo asked, miraculously managing to ignore the scorn in Izaya's tone. It was easier to deal with his sharp words when he looked about a minute from succumbing to alcohol poisoning.
However, this time Izaya did turn his nose up, refusing to answer the question. Shizuo sighed, coaxing more water down his throat. The water wasn't helping Izaya sober up at all like he hoped though. He probably needed something in his stomach to soak it up. But how would he go about getting the raven to eat?
"Stay." He ordered, capping the water to go on a search for something small. He probably had some left over Pocky. But the sugar wouldn't be great for Izaya. At the very least, being a bartender had taught what was good and bad to feed to drunks. He needed bread, or something starchy.
He was thinking too hard about it, he realized, when he shot a glance over his shoulder and saw the couch left empty. Izaya was stumbling to his room, looking like he wanted to be pissed off, but wasn't sober enough to accomplish it.
"Hey!" Shizuo barked, wrapping his hand around the smaller man's arm. Izaya jerked to a stop.
"Lemme go." He huffed. Shizuo pulled him closer.
"You need to eat. You're gonna get sick."
"I'll get sick if I eat." Izaya immediately refused, shaking his head. The movement clearly made him dizzy, as he stumbled into the blond. "Wanna go t'sleep." He whined now.
"I know. But you're gonna hate yourself when you wake up." Shizuo was surprised by how gentle it came out of his mouth. He never in a million years imagined he would sound gentle while talking to his freak of a roommate.
"Nothin' new." Izaya muttered, patting Shizuo's chest. "No worries."
"I'm not worried." Shizuo scoffed. Izaya laughed. It was a noise more like nails on a chalkboard. Shizuo covered his mouth. "What's wrong with you? You get shitfaced all the time and act like a fucking asshole. You punch mirrors and do crazy shit like it has no consequences. You're unhinged."
Izaya just blinked up at him, before suddenly licking the palm covering his lips. Shizuo growled, pulling his hand away with disgust.
"What are you, five?" He hissed.
"I can take care of myself Shizu-chan." He rumbled, less amused now. Shizuo cocked an eyebrow in disbelief.
"Right. I wouldn't trust you with a fucking cactus."
"That's a good idea. Catcusi are so fragile." Izaya paused and then giggled when he realized he fucked up the word. Shizuo had to restrain himself from headbutting the little shit. "Lemme go to sleep Shizu-chan."
"Eat something first." He ordered.
Izaya sighed heavily, theatrically. Then he looked at Shizuo with a devilish gleam in his eye. "Fine. Give me something." He demanded. The bartender grit his teeth but nodded.
"Fine. What do you want?" He glanced back towards the kitchen, still trying to think what would be quick and easy to give the drunk. Cold fingers cupped his jaw and turned his face back down toward Izaya. Shizuo opened his mouth to ask what the fuck he wanted, and froze at the taste of whiskey on his lips.
It wasn't a shot poured down his throat. The taste came solely from how saturated Izaya was with the stuff. It lingered on his lips, which were surprisingly warm against Shizuo's own, compared to how icy his fingers were.
Izaya kissed him for a long moment before he pulled away. He looked satisfied with himself in the way only a drunk person could. "Mmm. That'll do." He purred, patting Shizuo's cheek and turning on his heel towards his room. It was only then that Shizuo realized he let the raven go. All he could do was stare at his roommates retreating form as he tried desperately to process.
Processing it only made him angry though.
"I-za-ya-kun!" He growled, following the tipsy shithead after a minute. Izaya was in the process of pulling off his shirt, and turned to stare blearily when Shizuo opened his door. "What the fuck was that?!" He yelled.
Izaya shrugged. "Thought it'd distract you. Was right." He finished fumbling with his shirt, throwing it towards his bathroom and the hamper within. It missed by about a mile, but he didn't seem concerned.
"You piece of shit!" Shizuo roared, grabbing Izaya by his arm. The raven made a discontent noise at how tight he was being held, his nails immediately digging into Shizuo's skin. The blond took hold of Izaya's other wrist, pulling away his pointy little claws. Which really made the drunk snarl.
"Fuck off Shizu…Shi…" He was apparently too out of it to even remember the stupid name he normally called his roommate.
"Tell me what the fuck is wrong with you!" Shizuo demanded, shaking the scrawny thing in his grasp. Izaya's blurry eyes squeezed shut, likely trying to make his room stop spinning. His knees gave out seconds later, handing his whole body weight over to Shizuo. The blond let him slump against his chest, rearranging his hold so he had an arm around the raven's waist and one tucked behind his neck.
"Shizu-chan is so mean." Izaya whispered. Shizuo growled, softly now.
"Why are you like this?" He sighed into dark hair. There was a hiccup from the man in his arms, and that's when Shizuo realized he was crying. "What is it? What's wrong with you Izaya?"
"You're gonna have to be more specific Shizu-chan. It's a pretty long list. It has whole categories and everything." His voice shook almost as bad as the rest of him, but he was sure if he asked, Izaya would still say he wasn't crying.
"Fuck, you're annoying." Shizuo groaned, clenching his hand in Izaya's hair to drag his face up. He was kissing the raven before he'd even settled on whether or not to do it in his head. And Izaya kissed back, opening his lips so nicely when Shizuo's tongue asked for entrance.
He tasted even more like whiskey like this. Shizuo would say he was getting drunk off of it if he didn't know just how good his tolerance was. It was far more likely that it was Izaya he was getting drunk off of, not the alcohol lingering on his tongue, and in his very veins.
"Shizu-" Izaya pulled away just enough to breathe the questioning lilt of his name. Shizuo shushed him with another demanding kiss, holding him tight when he started to squirm. He wasn't planning on letting him go.
Izaya's hands kept clenching restlessly in his clothes, and Shizuo wondered if it was to keep himself from reaching for any other part of him. Sure enough, when he deepened the kiss more, Izaya's cold fingers sought out his hair and scratched delightfully at his scalp. Shizuo moaned into his roommate's mouth.
Izaya's bed was tantalizingly close, only a few steps away. Shizuo let the raven fall from his grasp when they stood at the edge of the mattress and Izaya fell like a stone. He clearly was not in control of his body anymore.
But Shizuo was, following after the smaller man, planting his hands on either side of his head and looming over his sprawled out form.
"Hey." Shizuo rumbled, drawing Izaya's fuzzy gaze to his own. "I'm gonna touch you a little." He explained, slowly letting his hand rest on the dazed man's side. He could feel Izaya's ribs through his skin, though not as prominently as he feared. It meant he was eating something- just not a lot and never when Shizuo could see. It comforted him a little, but not enough. "You're too fucking skinny."
"Is Shizu-chan worried about me?" It seemed like a confusing idea for the raven. Shizuo frowned, sliding his palm up towards Izaya's chest to run his thumb over a nipple. His captive positively keened, forgetting all about his question.
"Are you normally this sensitive, or is it the alcohol?" Shizuo rumbled curiously, stroking the little bud again to watch the way Izaya arched at the touch. His roommate grabbed his wrist, pushing it away.
"Ah, don't…" He panted. "I'm tired. Don't wanna-"
"It's okay. I get it." Shizuo assured him, dipping to kiss his cheek. The noise Izaya made was something startled, but content. The blond kissed him again, at the corner of his mouth. It left the smaller turning to seek out his lips for a proper kiss that Shizuo was more than happy to give him.
He would have kissed him all night if he could. But Izaya wasn't lying about being tired. It seemed with each kiss, he was able to give Shizuo less, until the blond pulled away and realized Izaya had fallen asleep. He smiled fondly, flopping to his side and pulling the raven close to him. He fit perfectly against him.
Shizuo held Izaya as he slept, marveling at how warm he felt. Marveling at how right it felt to have him there. He was still frustrated with his roommate. He was still angry about certain things too. But it was hard to remember how much of a little shit the raven was when he looked so peaceful in his arms. Shizuo let himself be content with the idea of cuddling with Izaya, if just for the night.
He'd appreciate it in the morning, when he woke and Izaya was gone.
For a full week after that night, Shizuo didn't see Izaya once. Not in passing. Not even the impression of his existence. He called Shinra, but the med student claimed he hadn't heard from or seen his cousin either. It was more than concerning, it was infuriating.
For one moment he'd thought maybe Izaya wasn't so bad. That he had issues- which he'd always known- and those issues could maybe be hiding something that wasn't completely despicable. For a moment Shizuo thought he could help Izaya, if he'd just let him help. He imagined Izaya almost wanted that help. He thought he'd seen that in the way Izaya kissed him back. And in the way he looked at him.
Obviously Izaya had different thoughts on what he'd seen.
The days wore on, and no matter how often Shizuo was at home, or how vigilant he was, there was no sign of his roommate. After the second week, it ceased being irritating and started being very worrying.
So worrying that he'd taken to sleeping on the couch. Just in case. He was just leaning back to fall asleep in front of the TV- again- when the door opened.
Izaya took one look at him from the doorway and promptly ignored him, closing and locking the door, then heading straight for his room. Shizuo scrambled up off the couch to beat him there.
"Out of the way." Izaya grumbled, staring at Shizuo's chest as he blocked the still open entrance to his room. Shizuo hadn't closed it after waking up alone in Izaya's bed. And it wasn't like Izaya had been there to close it himself. That thought lit the fires of rage in Shizuo, completely outshining the concern that had settled deep in his stomach.
The blond curled his fingers into the front of Izaya's jacket, towed him in so they were barely a few inches apart. A growl rattled in his chest, but completely failed to rattle the little shit staring unimpressed through him.
"Where the fuck have you been?" Shizuo demanded. Izaya's only initial reaction was a dark, raised brow. After a moment of tense, angry silence he sighed.
"It hardly seems like any of Shizu-chan's business, but I was with my coworker. Now let me go." Despite his request, he didn't seem surprised when Shizuo only twisted his hold tighter.
"That's not good enough. It's been weeks. What the fuck have you been doing?" Izaya rolled his eyes, the very picture of petulance. Shizuo's eye twitched.
"Does it really matter? Did I break a law?" Shizuo's teeth started grinding against each other. "Did I skip out on rent?" He could feel how tense his muscles were growing with each passing second. He just wanted to pummel the little flea in his grasp. "I didn't think so. So if you please, let me go. I'm rather tired."
"I'm not fucking letting you go until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you. Why the fuck did you disappear like that? Why the fuck did you get so shitfaced before you left? What is the matter with you?" Finally Shizuo seemed to break through. He could see it in the way Izaya's nose crinkled in irritation.
"I don't have to tell you shit, Shizu-chan. I'm not your friend, and I'm not your responsibility."
"Do you want me to keep being your roommate?" Shizuo demanded, shaking Izaya a little. The smaller man flinched like the shake was a punch. Or maybe it was the words he was flinching from. "I'm fucking worried about you, so tell me what the fuck is wrong with you!"
"You were the one who said you didn't want to spend time with me the very first time we met! You don't get to change your mind, monster!"
"Fucking watch me, shitty flea!" He snarled, and promptly slammed Izaya's back against the wall as a way to brace them while he kissed the raven.
His roommate was tense as a rock as Shizuo bit at his lips and tried to achieve the same depth of kiss as the last time. Izaya wasn't having it though, stubbornly refusing to give in to his insistent lips and tongue. A growl rumbled through Shizuo's chest.
"Why is everything so difficult with you." He vented against the smaller man's mouth. Red eyes flicked away pointedly as he silently pouted.
Shizuo tried kissing Izaya a few more times with just as unsatisfactory results. Finally he shoved away from the wall, burying his hands in his already messy blond locks. He could feel the piercing stare of the raven behind him.
"Why can't you just…I'm sorry, okay. For being an asshole. And treating you shitty. But you've been shitty too, ya know." He accused, turning on his heel to point at Izaya's unimpressed face.
"It's part of my charm." His deadpan drawl only got Shizuo's blood hotter. But he tried to control himself.
"Can't we try not being shitty for a few minutes? Both of us?" He proposed. Izaya looked doubtful, which was both insulting and discouraging. But after a minute of tense silence, he sighed and rolled his eyes and nodded.
"Fine whatever." He muttered. Shizuo wasn't going to waste time gloating after getting his roommate to agree with him.
"What's your issue, Izaya? Why are you the way that you are? Why are you so manic, and why do you get so drunk all the time?"
Another heavy sigh- this time with a level of resignation that gave Shizuo a small idea of how tired Izaya really was. For a few seconds that exhaustion made Shizuo feel certain that Izaya was going to bow out of the conversation. So it was a pleasant surprise that the raven actually met his eyes and spoke.
"Not that it matters, but I don't sleep well. I never have. The drinking…helps." Shizuo knew it was deeper than that. He was reasonably sure Izaya was telling him the truth, but only a glimpse of it. It was going to take a lot more to get the full story.
"Can't you, I dunno, take medication for that? Or drink tea before bed or something?" He proposed. The look Izaya gave him made him want to strangle the raven.
"Revolutionary. Why didn't I think of that?" Izaya drawled pointedly. Shizuo felt heat go to his face, but he couldn't say for sure if it was anger or embarrassment.
"You don't have to be a dick." He hissed at the other man.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings? Well, guess that's that. Can't even go a full minute without breaking the truce. Guess I better go to my room and never interact again."
Shizuo had his hand clenched in Izaya's shirt before he could even take a step. "Don't even think about it. So you can't sleep, and traditional remedies don't work for whatever reason?" He reaffirmed. Izaya rolled his eyes, but nodded.
"It's called chronic insomnia. I literally can't sleep unless I'm dead-on-my-feet exhausted, or dead-on-my-feet drunk. When it gets especially bad and I can't fall asleep for an entire week, I get a little…manic. I hallucinate and dissociate, which is why I punched the mirror that night." He admitted bitterly.
Shizuo had to say, he was honestly surprised the smaller man was opening up. Maybe it had been a few days since Izaya slept. Maybe his guard was low.
Whatever the reason, Shizuo wasn't going to waste the opportunity.
"If drinking is the only thing that helps, why don't you do it more?"
"I'm sorry, are you condoning my slow descent into alcoholism?" Shizuo sputtered, which brought a dark grin to Izaya's face. "Ne, Shizu-chan is such a bad influence. I have to drink a lot to get to the point where I can fall asleep. I don't think it's a good idea to do that every night, but if you think I should, who am I to argue?"
"You little shit, stop twisting what I say!" He roared in his roommate's face. Izaya looked far from impressed still. "So you actually have self restraint. Because you don't want to be an alcoholic, you only drink yourself to sleep once a week."
"Excellent recap." Izaya deadpanned. Shizuo sighed heavily to let go of a little of his aggression. It was building dangerously fast.
"What about other things, not chemical stuff like medication and alcohol? What about running or…other physical things."
"Common misconception. Exercise wakes you up more, it doesn't tire you out." He dismissed easily. "Sometimes I go out and run," Oh, Shizuo was aware. "It never helps. I mean, it helps work some of the crazy out of my system, but it doesn't help me fall asleep. But thanks for playing."
Irritation was building again. Shizuo grit his teeth and searched desperately through his head for something else. Anything else that could help someone get sleepy. Izaya stared expectantly at him the whole time, waiting patiently for him to admit defeat.
Like hell would Shizuo ever give up to Izaya. Especially when he was as frustrated as he was. God, he just wanted to punch the raven. Or kiss him. Or- hey now, there was a good idea.
"What about sex?"
Izaya raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"
"People get tired after sex, it's a thing." At least, he was pretty sure it was a thing. Based on the fact that Izaya didn't immediately start laughing at him, he assumed he was at least partially right.
"I really doubt that even a monster like you could fuck me hard enough to make me fall asleep after." Izaya dismissed with a roll of his eyes.
"Is that a challenge?" It slipped out of Shizuo's mouth before he could think better of it. But at least it did the job of catching Izaya's full attention.
"I don't think you want to do that. Who knows what kind of diseases a flea like me could be carrying! And what will you do if you end up liking it? You might have to actually pretend to like me, just to get my ass! What would you do?!" Shizuo knew that the dramatics were just a way to get him irritated- which would provide an escape for his sneaky roommate.
The fact that he knew was probably the only reason he didn't snap and react. At least, not as badly as he normally would have. "Shut up. You're just scared that it'll work, and you'll end up dependant on my dick."
Izaya's eyes flickered very briefly. So briefly that Shizuo might have missed it if he wasn't so in Izaya's space. But he did see it. And it brought a wicked grin to his face.
"In your pathetic, lonely dreams. The only thing I depend on you for is the rent." Izaya sneered. But the defensiveness in his tone made a liar of him.
"Why don't we see then?" Shizuo suggested in a silky drawl as he stepped in even closer to the raven. "What have you got to lose?"
"Besides my dignity?" Izaya huffed.
"Oh, Izaya-kun." Shizuo chuckled. "I don't think you've ever had that to begin with."
He only caught Izaya's hand at the last possible second. Any later and his cheek would be burning from the force of his roommate's attempted slap. Instead he was smirking as Izaya bristled like a stray cat.
The raven tried to yank his wrist back from the firm grip of Shizuo's hand, but to no avail. And it only riled him up more. "If you're done putting your nose in my fucking business, kindly fuck off."
"How about I fuck you instead." Shizuo purred instantly, stalling Izaya in place. His lips parted ever so slightly- no doubt in preparation for another scathing one liner. Before the raven could fully compose it, Shizuo took advantage of that gap to get his tongue in Izaya's mouth.
This time it wasn't disappointing. Izaya was pissed off now, and because of that he fought back against the blond. He tried to take control of the kiss- so he could at least be in control of something. By the time Shizuo pulled back for air, there was no clear winner. Which was just fine with him. It meant that he could probably suck his roommate into another kiss, and Izaya would allow it.
Or, well, he at least wouldn't shove Shizuo away. But he definitely wasn't going to admit to liking it. That much the blond could tell from the glare he was the sole focus of.
"Why don't we take this someplace more comfortable." Shizuo suggested, already dragging Izaya into the raven's own room. He didn't get any obvious resistance from his roommate- besides the glare he could still feel digging into the back of his head. And when he all but tossed Izaya onto the bed, the smaller man only huffed and laid there. Glaring.
It didn't put Shizuo off at all. He was still eager to crawl on top of the scowling man and attack his mouth with all the pent up and frustrated desire he had. Which was a lot, after the last few weeks.
Graceless fingers tugged at clothes- both his own and his roommate's until they were touching skin to skin nearly everywhere. It was then that Izaya pulled away from the demanding lips pressed forcefully to his own.
"Moving pretty fast for someone who never even asked permission, aren't you?" He grumbled at the blond. Shizuo wished he could ignore him, he really did. Izaya was most likely just trying to get a rise out of him at this point. But…if he wasn't…well, there was one thing Shizuo never wanted to be, and it was someone who forced himself on another human.
Though sometimes he had to wonder if Izaya really counted as a human.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked bluntly, trying to sound as dry and unaffected as Izaya did. The fact that, even now, he couldn't keep himself from running his palms up and down Izaya's smooth hips really didn't do him any favors with the charade though.
"Would you stop if said 'yes'?" Izaya challenged, narrowing his eyes pointedly. They abruptly widened when Shizuo's idle touching did in fact cease.
"Yes." Shizuo admitted, though he wasn't thrilled about it. He went to sit up, a resigned sigh on his tongue. It was swallowed by Izaya as the raven lunged up to kiss him.
"Then you can fuck me. Do your best to make me fall asleep Shizu-chan. But don't be too hard on yourself when you can't do it." Izaya kissed him again, the action smug as Shizuo growled in his throat. "And if I tell you to stop…"
"I'll stop." The blond promised against the skin of his roommate's throat. He didn't mind Izaya's conditions. Mostly because he'd be damned before he admitted defeat to the little shit beneath him. He would fuck him so good that he'd fall asleep! He'd do it or die trying!
Izaya was either going to pass out from pleasure or call it quits. That was the only way Shizuo was going to stop. He swore it!
With determination driven by anger and desire in equal part, Shizuo made it his mission to touch every inch he could of Izaya's body. He stroked over his hips and up his waist. He traced the sharp edge of his roommate's jaw. His fingers twisted into soft hair. And as he touched, his mouth was busy tasting.
Izaya's mouth, his neck, his nipples. Nothing was safe from the searching of Shizuo's mouth. When he wrapped his lips around the smaller man's nipple, the keening noise he got only motivated him further.
A well timed tug of hair paired nicely with a short, sharp nip to Izaya's nipple. And suddenly there were hands in his hair too. Tugging and scratching his scalp, almost like a cat kneading. The comparison made Shizuo smile against Izaya's chest, which rumbled with pleased purrs.
The more the blond touched, stroked, and sucked, the more soft noises Izaya made. Finally he started to gasp and wheeze, and it was only then that Shizuo let his lips drift down from the abused nipples to his stomach.
"So fucking skinny." He grumbled unhappily, nipping where ribs were pressed tight to skin. Izaya exhaled sharply, and the skin slackened a little. But he was too worked up to avoid immediately sucking in another deep breath that stretched him thin again. "Gonna make you fucking eat." He vowed.
"If that's a euphemism for something, I swear to god I'll-"
"Shut up." Shizuo chuckled darkly, dipping his tongue into his captive's belly button right after. Izaya yelped, clearly caught off guard by the action.
Shizuo's eyes practically sparkled with mischief as he looked up at the raven from beneath his fringe. Izaya looked startled, and also terrified. Which could only mean one thing. "Ticklish?"
"Don't you fucking dare." Oh that was a tempting order to refuse. If he had any less self control, he would have. But something at the back of his mind reminded him that Izaya would definitely kick him out if he did. It didn't matter that Izaya was now rock hard from the slow, gentle foreplay. He would still immediately push Shizuo away if he did it.
"Alright." He sighed begrudgingly. But he stored the information away for another day. He would definitely be using it eventually. "Does his highness have any other commands for me?" The blond taunted.
"His highness commands you to get on with it already. I told you to fuck me, not slobber all over me like a horny dog." Oh, Shizuo was gonna make him eat alright. He was gonna fucking shove those words down the little shit's throat.
"Do they have to be mutually exclusive?" He muttered, ever so slowly sliding his hands down over Izaya's hips.
"I'm shocked. I didn't think you knew words longer than two syllables." A growl rumbled in Shizuo's throat that made Izaya all too happy. "Are they mutually exclusive, really? You're like a monster, ne Shizu-"
A ragged gasp cut through Izaya's scathing words, first from the shock of abruptly having his legs held up and apart. And then from the shock of Shizuo running his tongue over his most sensitive place.
The raven's entrance twitched under the slow sweep of Shizuo's tongue. He sounded and looked confused as he tried to catch up with what was happening. And when it did process, he was too overcome by the strange feeling of pleasure that he couldn't think of anything to say. Or at least, that's what Shizuo chose to believe was keeping his roommate so silent- apart from the occasional gasp.
It wasn't until Shizuo eased his tongue into Izaya's entrance that the smaller man couldn't seem to keep quiet anymore. A low groan filled the awkward silence of the room. A groan that made Shizuo's own cock jerk in his jeans.
God, he wanted to fuck Izaya. He wanted to hold him down and pound into him until the raven's eyes rolled back in his head from the overwhelming exhaustion of pleasure.
But he knew he needed to take his time. He wanted to wear Izaya out before he wore himself out. So he kept licking and sucking and ignoring his own aching hardness to concentrate on how desperately hard Izaya was.
Precome dribbled from the raven's dick as beads of sweat rolled down his neck. Neither seemed to matter to his roommate though. He seemed more concentrated on keeping his hands to his sides, twisted into the sheets of his bed. What amazing restraint- Shizuo had to admit that at least. He didn't have the same restraint.
He reached out to touch Izaya's weeping cock. It barely took a full stroke for the raven to arch into his touch and whimper his way through his orgasm.
Shizuo continued to milk his roommate all the way through. Until his whimpers of pleasure turned to more pitiful whines. With a lewd lick of his lips, Shizuo sat up to smirk at his red faced prey.
"Seems like you came with a monster's tongue in your ass. So what does that make you?" He purred ruefully. Izaya was clearly still too frazzled to reply. His already red cheeks darkened before Shizuo's eyes and he turned his face to the side. The blond hummed contently, reaching out to stroke Izaya's sweaty hair off his forehead. "Are you tired?"
"No." Izaya immediately whispered.
"Good. Cuz I'm not done with you yet."
Shizuo managed to loose track of reality around the time he finally put his dick into Izaya. By that time he'd already worked his roommate through another orgasm just with his fingers as he stretched and prepared the helpless man. So when he actually got his cock into that well prepped ass, it was like reaping the reward of both of Izaya's orgasm in one intense moment.
It felt like it had been hours since he threw Izaya to the bed to have his wicked way with the man. An eternity of looking at that beautiful body writhe for him, and listen to the intoxicating sound of Izaya slowly breaking down to pleasure.
Needless to say, Shizuo was fucking hard. In fact, it took him a good few seconds to adjust just so he wouldn't bust a nut too soon. He knew Izaya was getting tired, but he also knew it would take more to put the man to sleep. So he couldn't lose himself just yet. But god he wanted to!
He wanted to utterly wreck the raven, just go to fucking town on him. But this wasn't something his strength would solve. This was about endurance, and he knew it. So he bit his lip and started out nice and slow thrusting into his roommate. Taking his sweet time.
"Aaah- fuck-" Izaya gasped somewhere around his fifth slow thrust. "Faster- fucking faster-"
"Are you in a hurry?" Shizuo denied immediately, grabbing the slim man by the hips to keep him from thrusting to meet him. Izaya groaned in frustration, pulling roughly at the blond hair in his grasp.
He cracked his eyes open to glare at his roommate, but it was far from intimidating. Not when Shizuo could see water building in those wine colored eyes, that matched the line of moisture trailing down Izaya's chin. He wanted to wreck the raven, and he was. Hell, he might've been doing it better by going slow than he would have by thrusting with abandon!
A new, self-satisfied smirk curled up Shizuo's lips. He shifted, hoisting Izaya's ankle onto his shoulder to really spread the man wide to him. The change in angle was satisfying, and not just for him.
Izaya's eyes blew wide open on the next thrust, his chest shuddering with a silent cry. He really was much quieter than Shizuo anticipated. His roommate was always so good at talking, he assumed he'd be loud like this too. But really, every noise he managed to get from the raven was like a trophy.
He wanted more. He wanted to pull the most delicious sounds from Izaya. He wanted- he wanted- he needed!
Shizuo shuddered at the thought. Him, needing Izaya. It was almost enough to make him stop dead. But he only flinched a moment and continued right on tormenting his roommate. If Izaya noticed, he definitely didn't have the thought process to comment on it anyway.
So Shizuo decided to speak instead. "Don't tell me you're already getting tired. Is that why you want me to hurry up?" He taunted, slowing down even more to really focus on the depth of his thrusts. He was getting in so deep with each stoke, he was certain he could almost see the movement of it in Izaya's shallow belly.
"No- ah- not tired-"
"Are you sure? Should I just leave you to go to sleep now?" Strictly speaking, he knew he was being a bit of a twat. But whether or not Izaya was thinking the same thing, all he did was cling tighter to the blond and toss his head.
"No!"
A cruel grin split his face as he picked up his pace. He was still going just as deep, but the added speed had Izaya panting. Which, in Shizuo's book, made it well worth it.
Izaya's nails dug deep into his scalp and shoulder, but Shizuo hardly noticed. He was too entranced watching the shivering body beneath him. He had never found Izaya particularly hard to look at- as horrible as that was to admit. But he'd never been so interested in watching every little thing about his roommate until that moment.
It was probably because he had a personal interest in proving the raven wrong. And every desperate gasp felt like a victory. He wondered if it felt like a defeat to Izaya.
Maybe he was too busy surviving his own pleasure to think about things like victory and defeat. His roommate writhed beneath him, squeezing his entrance around his dick helplessly. But despite all his efforts, he couldn't seem to get what he wanted.
An irritated groan rose in the raven's throat. He cracked open one watery eye in the weirdest half glare Shizuo had ever seen. "Nngh- more-" He pleaded, albeit begrudgingly.
"If you insist." Shizuo chuckled, tightening his grip on Izaya's hip and thrusting faster. He was very close to just snapping and fucking his roommate with abandon. But he still had enough good sense to keep in mind that he had a mission. And that mission was going very well.
Izaya was back to being rock hard against his stomach, which was already stained with two streaks of his own release. He was nothing more than a sweaty, sticky mess that was begging for more- and Shizuo loved it.
The only thing that confused him was how resolutely Izaya refused to completely let go. He wasn't allowing himself to be loud. And he wasn't allowing himself to touch himself. Even now, totally out of his mind with pleasure, he kept his hands knotted in the sheets beneath him, neglecting his painfully hard cock.
Shizuo had no choice. If Izaya wasn't going to do it, he would.
Keeping his one hand pinning Izaya down, the blond used his other to circle the raven's dick. He tried to stroke in time with his thrusts as well as he could, but he only had so much coordination when he was also trying to hold himself off.
Not that it mattered really. Even the off pace stroking was enough to make Izaya throw his head back and cry out so deliciously. His hands fitfully squeezed and scratched at Shizuo where they were clinging to him. And his mouth hung open desperately wheezing for air. He was nearing his third orgasm of the night. Shizuo couldn't imagine that he was without pain at this point.
But he supposed that over stimulation was preferable to sleepless insanity. Because Izaya wasn't even hinting at wanting him to stop, even though he'd already promised that he would if he was asked.
Maybe Izaya had just forgotten about that. It already seemed like a lifetime ago that they started this. Time felt unreal, just an endless cycle of thrusting and stroking.
When Izaya came again, his entrance shuddering around Shizuo's dick, reality was truly lost to the both of them. And no matter how hard he tried, Shizuo couldn't hold off his own release. His hips stuttered and finally pressed in as tight as they could to Izaya's ass as he spilled himself inside his writhing roommate.
"Ah- fuck-" Shizuo growled, jerking a few times and enjoying the little whines it got from Izaya. "Are you…fuck, are you tired?"
Izaya shook his head, but just the fact that he couldn't say anything told Shizuo that he was lying. At the very least, he was physically exhausted. But what more could Shizuo do to put the shithead to sleep?
He needed a minute to breathe and think. He slowly pulled out of his roommate, smirking when Izaya shivered again. The raven's lips were red and slick with his saliva. They were irresistible. Shizuo was swooping in to press his mouth to Izaya's before he could even fully comprehend his own action.
A confused yelp rumbled in his roommate's chest, but Izaya kissed back all the same. The urgency and anger of their kiss earlier was gone now. This kiss was slow and deep and somehow sweet. As wrong as it felt to call anything involving Izaya sweet, Shizuo had to admit that's what it was.
Sweet and intoxicating. The blond felt damn near drunk when he pulled away from the raven's lips. And Izaya…he looked beyond dazed. The manic bright shine in his eyes was dulled, nearly hidden behind hooded lids. And his mouth was still left parted. Like an invitation that Shizuo did not have the self control to resist.
He kissed Izaya again. And again after that. And when he pulled away the next time, it was because the raven was asleep. His breathing was steady and deep, his heartbeat a slow even beat as Shizuo laid his head on his chest.
Huh. Three orgasm and nothing. But a few intense kisses and he was out? His roommate was fucking weird.
But then what did that make him? He was the one who was curling himself around the raven to hold the sleeping man as close as he could. And Izaya, in all his unconscious glory, curled into the cuddles as well. It brought a very reluctant smile to Shizuo's face as he slowly faded off as well.
He'd appreciate it even more when he woke and Izaya was once again gone.
"I-za-ya-kun!" His rage was palpable as he stormed out of Izaya's empty room. But it all evaporated when his gaze scanned the apartment and within seconds met a very startled pair of wine eyes. His roommate stared at him, a spoonful of rice halfway to his parted mouth as he leaned against the kitchen counter.
"Yes?" He asked nervously. Shizuo sighed, rubbing his face.
"I thought…sorry." It felt like a punch to the face to apologize, but surprisingly Izaya didn't comment on it. He just went back to silently eating his rice. Shizuo sluggishly made his way to the kitchen and opened the rice cooker to scoop out some for himself too.
An awkward silence thick enough to cut with a knife descended as they both stood there eating. It was uncomfortable, but neither tried to break it. Shizuo couldn't think of a thing to say that would erase the spectacle Izaya had just seen. And Izaya seemed too preoccupied forcing himself to eat the whole bowl of rice in his hands to notice the painful quiet.
Finally it just got to be too much. Even making a fool of himself was better than suffering this silence. "Er…how did you sleep?" Shizuo asked.
"Hm? Fine." Izaya replied quickly. A little too quickly honestly.
"Liar." Shizuo huffed. The raven's eyes widened, clearly surprised at being called out. He slowly put his spoon down and pursed his lips and really seemed to think for a moment. When his gaze flicked back up to Shizuo's, it was more determined than the blond expected.
"It was fine. For once, it was…it was fine." Despite the steady gaze, his tone shook. Likely he didn't want to admit it. Probably because it was a bit like admitting defeat. After all, he had seemed pretty sure that Shizuo wouldn't be able to put him to sleep last night.
"How long have you been up?" Shizuo asked instead of rubbing his victory in. Which also seemed to surprise the raven. He shrugged.
"Thirty minutes." The blond glanced at the clock, trying to count back and figure out how long his roommate had slept. But that didn't help, considering he had no idea what time they'd gone to sleep. God, time had felt like an illusion. So easily manipulated and altogether shattered.
It was catching up to him though. Everything felt all too real now.
"I'm glad it was alright." Shizuo mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up, despite the fact that it had been his idea. He'd been so forward, and this morning he couldn't even look Izaya in the eye properly.
"I have a few notes, but overall not bad." Izaya drawled. He was smirking when Shizuo shot a scowl at him. The smirk died before Shizuo's eyes. He watched as Izaya fidgeted and stared intently at his bowl. And then the softest little, "Thank you." met his ears.
And oh, he could tear into the raven for that! But…at the same time, he couldn't. Or rather, he didn't want to. "Yeah…sure." He mumbled just as quietly. Then he cleared his throat and a little louder and prouder declared, "Anytime, just let me know when you want me."
"Ha! In your lonely pathetic dreams!" Izaya scoffed, immediately flipping back to his normal personality. What a shithead.
"I bet you can't even make it a week before you're begging me to fuck you again." Shizuo bragged, setting aside his rice to crowd in close to Izaya. The raven was far from intimidated.
"I bet you can't even make it three days before you're begging me to let you fuck me again." He sneered confidently.
"Well I bet you can't go an hour before you ask me to kiss you again." Shizuo challenged, running his thumb over those smirking lips.
"And I bet you can't go another five minutes without doing it yourself." Izaya purred. And damn if he wasn't right.
But he had no complaints to offer as Shizuo's tongue pressed into his mouth. All he did was tilt his head back and part his lips and reach for the feeling of Shizuo's hair between his fingers. And Shizuo was more than okay with that.
He would never admit it, but he was becoming used to the little shit he shared a space with. He could even go so far as to say that he was becoming fond of him. And he knew he wouldn't mind coming to Izaya's rescue, no matter how many times he needed it.
He'd kiss Izaya to sleep every night if he let him. And he was ashamed to admit it, but he kinda hoped he would. This was one roommate bonding activity he'd never get tired of.
END NOTE: So yeah, that wasn't medically accurate, by any means. i have no idea if this would be an appropriate treatment for someone with Chronic insomnia. it's called creative license though.