Sometimes she couldn't stop her mind from wandering. The sadness just came over her, an old friend unannounced. It lay a melancholy tone over her conscience and brimmed tears to her eyes. She closed her eyes and tried to remember moments of happiness, moments of clarity, moments of awareness. What was once blithe became somber. Those who loved her glowed with an aura of bitterness. The memories of abandonment from her birth parents and the abuse within the foster homes all came rushing back to her. And she needed it to stop.
She sniffled and wiped the tears from her cheeks, not wanting to ruin her mascara. Marianna sat up from her bed and grabbed her phone. She knew she was about to make a bad decision, but she couldn't help it. The rational part of her brain was screaming she shouldn't, but that cloud of depression was telling her it was the only way. She shakily texted Kelsey.
I need some release. Can I come with you tonight?
She immediately regretted sending it, and anxiously awaited her friends response. A few minutes later, although it seemed like hours to Marianna, Kelsey replied.
Sure. I'll tell Kade to bring you some too, meet me by Pacos at 10.
Marianna sighed and changed out of her pajamas, squeezing into her skinny jeans and a faux leather jacket. She looked at herself in the mirror pensively, wiping away more tears. She couldn't let them know her sadness, so she covered it up with more makeup.
She hurried downstairs and grabbed her tote bag from the coat rack.
"Where are you off to sweets?", Lena asked as she looked up from her book.
Marianna hesitated. She felt guilty lying to her mother, but it was too late to turn back now.
"I'm going to hang out with Kelsey."
Lena gave her a confused look and replied, "Kelsey? But I thought she wasn't a good friend."
Marianna shrugged. "Well Lexi is on date with Jesus tonight, so I figured I would just hang with Kelsey. I'll be home by 11!"
Lena smiled and waved goodbye as Marianna hastily headed out the door.
Kade was a senior at Anchor Beach charter school; a known druggie and all around bad influence. He was the kind of guy that Brandon had warned his little sister about back when she was entering freshman year. And now she was standing in the alleyway of Pacos beside Kelsey, waiting for him.
"Are you sure about this?", Kelsey questioned, "I never thought I would see Marianna Foster at a drug deal."
Marianna shrugged, forcing back tears from her looming depression. She leant on a crate and shivered from the chill of the night. A dark figure approached them, and as it grew closer she recognized the face of Kade. He was tall and had chiseled features. He might be attractive to Marianna if he weren't always hungover at school.
Marianna, who was panicking inside, was appalled at how calmly Kelsey handed Kade a wad of cash. She then received a little bag with white powder which she coolly placed in her cleavage. Marianna gulped as Kade nodded towards her. Her hands shaking, she pulled cash out of her bag and handed the money to the shady senior. He pulled out a little plastic bag from his pocket, but jumped up as he heard someone.
"What the hell is going on here?"
Marianna froze. She could recognize the familiar voice from a mile away.
Jesus stood tensely, arms crossed, with a disapproving look. Marianna bit her lip. This night was about to get a whole lot worse.