Disclaimer: Ninja Turtles belongs to Eastman and Laird

"What are you doing?"

"We need to talk." Leo backed away and sheathed his swords.

"Don't waste my time, Donatello. I'm training." I swept his legs out from underneath him, satisfied with the sound of his shell hitting the floor.

"Then perhaps sparring will help. You'll be interacting with someone at least. No weapons though." Leo remained stone-faced as we put our weapons on the rack. We exchanged blows for a while. Aside from a few good hits, I remained on the defensive and didn't allow Leo a chance to touch me.

"Why did you ask to spar if you weren't going to take it seriously?! Do you know how many times I could've killed you?! Are you ever-" I grabbed his arm and swung him down to the floor, pinning his hands behind him and squeezing the left wrist a bit harder. A shocked look briefly adorned his face.

"Ever going to what? Contrary to your belief, we do take things seriously! You just fail to notice!" He snarled and got out of my hold, kicking me in the chest. At the last second, I grabbed the edge of his shell, hanging on for dear life as he bucked, dodged my punches, and my attempts to pin him down again. I flipped off him and delivered a roundhouse kick to his side, making him stagger. I ran in for a dragon punch but he parried the attack, and vaulted over me. I turned to face him, caught his leg from the air and threw him behind me.

"You kidding me?! All you guys do is goof off without a care in the world! Our enemies are out there! We have to be prepared," he shouted as he leaped back onto his feet and was in the air again. I avoided another drop-kick by spinning on my shell, forcing him away with well placed strikes. He didn't give me much reprieve before we were at each other again.

"Oh cry me a river, Leo! We were right beside you every step of the way! You aren't the only one that feels responsible!" I executed an Invisible Flying Dragon but didn't see the back-fist strike nor ducked fast enough. I countered the next attack with an Upper Rising Block.

"You sure don't act like it! Maybe if you did, I wouldn't have to train for five turtles!"

"That's a lie and you know it! Any training we do won't ever be enough because you feel the same way about yourself!"

"You don't know what you're talking about! You can't possibly understand how I feel! You think I'm doing all this to be a jerk?! I hardly see any of you pick up the slack! But noooo! No reason to do anything because Leo does it for you!" He went in for a reverse punch, only for me to jab him in the stomach and lunge; he somersaulted from the lunge, used the wall to kick off and knock right into me. We wrestled for control, flailing chaotically until I executed a front-snap kick, which separated our heated and sweaty bodies. Only then did he realize what he said. He plopped down and covered his face in his hands, tears seeping through his fingers. I sat down in front of him, a little taken aback that it took less time than expected for him to crack; it proved how badly he wanted to be heard, no matter what he told himself.

"At least we would've died together."

"W-what?"

"If the Utroms hadn't intervened right then and there, we wouldn't be sitting here. We would all be dead and survived by only a few."

"I don't see how that's any better." His voice was shaking a little. I looked away for a second.

"What if only one of us came out of it alive? Could you imagine Mikey, Raph, or Splinter being the sole survivor of our family? They sure as heck would have a hard time moving on, with our deaths hanging over their heads." Before I could go further, Leo was wiping tears from my eyes, holding my shoulders so I couldn't look away again. A blessed moment of silence passed.

"I've thought about that, but I figured if you guys made it out alive…"

"And what makes you think we would be just dandy after that, huh?! You act as if your life doesn't matter! You aren't some sacrificial lamb! It's painful to watch you treat yourself as such!" I pushed him away and stood up. "You feel that you don't deserve to be our brother anymore but you do! Shit happens, Leo! Giving it your all isn't always enough, but that doesn't mean you aren't!" He stared at me with big, sad eyes. I collapsed to my knees and broke down, letting Leo gather me in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Donnie. I didn't know what I was doing. I've just been so scared since our last fight with him. I don't want to lose any of you. I-I don't want to be left alone." I held him tighter and nodded.

...

Mikey and I came home with pizza (along with minor bruises), and immediately knew something went down. The lair didn't need to show it. Mikey's enthusiastic chatter halted as he went around looking for our brothers before I could start to. Dang brat was that fast.

"You guys are back early." I glanced over my shoulder.

"What the heck happened to you?"

"I fought with Donnie." He winced when he moved his left arm.

"If beating you up was Donnie's strategy, I could've done it myself," I said with a half-hearted huff. I suddenly had a weeping, big brother in my arms apologizing over and over. He was trembling badly and hiding his face. By the time Mikey walked in, Leo drifted off.

"Donnie's out. I didn't want to wake him." I started carrying Fearless up to his room, then tucked him in. "It'll take more than one talk, but it's a start." I frowned and faced my baby brother.

"You know something, don't you?" His gaze didn't waver.

"Only because I was there at the right time. We've all got wounds, Raph. Sorting through our feelings as a family is the only way they'll heal enough to not reopen. If we don't stick together, then we've already lost." I put my arm around his shoulders and held him close and gripped my sai firmly. 'We will pull through this. We gotta.'