AN: don't own Twilight
Chapter 1 BPOV
I sat in the chair looking outside at the rain. It felt like the heavens were crying with me, mourning the loss of a lifetime. I couldn't imagine going on anymore, faking my life for Charlie or Renee or even Phil. They would continue after I was gone. They would wake up each day and continue. A passing thought through my mind made me wonder why I couldn't find it in my heart or mind to want to.
I only hoped that they would remember me fondly. That, at some point, I had brought more than misery to their lives. Maybe a memory or two of a happier time would be something that they would hold onto.
It has been 4 months since the day in the woods. That day I have tried so hard to forget, but still cling to remember. After being labeled "nearly catatonic", getting yelled at by my parents and threatened by Charlie to "return me to Florida", I woke up. I made my way every day to school or work or home, the only places that I go now. I don't remember the past 4 months, just the pain and the hole in my chest that threatens to tear me apart at the mere passing of anything that might remind me of them.
It is with this hole that I finally decide to do something. I start packing up the belongings that Charlie will need to get rid of once I am gone. I want to make this easier on him. Heaven knows my mother will not be of any help to him. After a couple of hours of packing boxes, I realize all I own is categorized into three things; clothes, books and my cactus. My entire existence is neatly packed away into three boxes of clothes and a box of books. My cactus sitting on top of the boxes. All of the other items in the room would not be identified as mine. They were fixtures in the imaginary world that I lived in for the past year.
The world where I had 2 sisters and 2 brothers, where I could see myself standing next to him for all eternity. Now I see nothing. The world shattered by the course of my stupid mistake and his words. It's time to be done with this. I can't keep going on with everything when what I wanted most had thought me to be unworthy of his attention anymore. "Not good enough", "don't want me", "It'll be as if he never existed".
As my last act, I sit and write 2 letters. First to Charlie, Renee and Phil. Apologizing for not being strong enough, for not holding on to their words that I would get better. Wishing for them the happiness that I could no longer fathom in my own life.
The second letter was to them. Letting them know I understand why they did what they did to me. It wasn't just about him letting me go, all of them left. I told them I loved them all and wish for them to have a happy existence without any further complications.
When I was done with the letters, I left Charlie's on the kitchen table, took one last look around the house and left. There were no more tears to cry. Driving to their house, I looked back on the past year, my decisions, words said, actions performed; would I have changed anything if I knew what would happen?
No.
Everything I did I would do again, except maybe getting myself cut by paper.
AN: First time writing, please let me know your thoughts. I know it's been done before, but I keep having thoughts about some of the characters and thought I would try my hand at it.