For convenience's sake, the batch of Harry graduated in 2009 summer. The battle was in 2008.
This is a new story i am working on. The updates will not be frequent, because i shall write only when inspiration strikes.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K.R.
XXOO
linux-Ginny
The Minister of the Moronic Department of Cupids
November 1st 2010,
All it took was a letter from the Ministry's new Department of Muggle Relations to send Hermione into a fury like a woman possessed. Her perfect day was completely and utterly ruined because her ex boyfriend's idiot brother had decided to take matrimonial matters into his own hands. Literally.
Her day had been going rather smoothly for a Lawyer at Wizengamot, with her wrapping up a rather tricky case of divorce and then having a long lunch with Ginny and Lavender. The day ended with her working out in her private gym when a rather smart and stuck up (looking very much like the Ministry officials) owl turned up at her window.
A quick scan of the letter made her do a double take, for she was used to pranks, courtesy George and Fred of course. She tried a tracking charm, just to be sure of it's point of origin and writer. After all hope failed, she re-read the letter one last time just to sure. And then, the nearby China Vase belonging to the Ming dynasty shattered.
Dear Ms. Granger,
As per the Muggle Protection Act 1869, Clause 400A Amendment 789, the Ministry shall be assigning spouses to the newly graduated batch of Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons, effective immediately. Attested is a schedule wherein you can choose your convenient time with the therapist.
Sessions with the therapist shall help determine your better half in a process to ensure a bright and happy future for you both. This is merely one step in a long drawn process, which shall comprise of various stages that you shall be informed of in later messages.
Once the process shall be completed, you shall be assigned your life partner with whom you shall be married to within a year's time. Please note that this marriage shall not be annulled under any circumstances, barring death or disappearance of the partner An heir will have to be produced within the first 4 years and registered with the Ministry.
Need for financial aid to fund the wedding and future home of the family in any manner possible will be entertained by the Ministry, should the reasons stated be deemed as fair and needful.
Failure to turn up at these sessions shall result in immediate penalty, which shall be determined after deliberation with the Head of Muggle Relations, Mr. Percy Ignatius Weasley.
Looking forward to seeing a better future for you,
Mr. Percy Ignatius Weasley
Head of Department
Ministry of Magic Department for Muggle Relations
Hermione stormed into the Burrow immediately, not least bothered that she was sweaty and dressed only in a sports bra and shorts. She ignored Mrs.' Weasley's greetings and Fred and George's cat calls and barged into Percy's study, waving a fist at him.
"Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn't HEX your BALLS into the 3 Century B.C.! Go on, I'm all EARS," she shouted, pointing a wand at his nose.
"For one thing, it would be felony to hex a MINISTER. I believe the punishment is rather ghastly; 15 years in Azkaban if I'm not wrong. For the other, Penny would KILL you, assuming you wouldn't have died in Azkaban already. And finally, you haven't got the balls to do such a thing," he replied, feeling incredibly smug.
He knew this would happen the minute the letters had been sent out and he had anticipated Hermione to be the first to show up. He had been itching for an argument against this. And fighting with Hermione would help him face the public tomorrow, since she would be ahead of everyone else.
"I am so ready to take that risk. How could you? This is a free society for god's sakes! You can't impose anything on anyone! By introducing this, your breaking a dozen Muggle laws, not to mention a number of Wizarding laws as well!" she said, her hands shaking in distress.
"Last I checked, I wasn't imposing anything on anyone. The process would only help accelerate the finding of a soul mate. And the process is complicated and long; I ensured that all bases were covered. So how would it be breaking anything if you were merely nudged into the right direction? It will be for your own good," he calmly replied. Hermione snorted at that.
"What? So you are now playing the cupid? What does this have to do with your department anyway? Are you the Head of the Moronic Ministry of Cupids too now?" she glowered.
"You shall soon find out," he replied calmly, again. But inside, he was stirring like a kid before Christmas. His plans will save the World!
Same day,
Draco Malfoy was having a relatively better day, key word being relatively here. His work at the Malfoy Orphanage Rehabilitation centre in New Orleans was going splendidly, and the work progress for the Malfoy Tower hotel in Germany, France and New York was bang on target.
He apparated to his penthouse in London tired after a long day's work and sat down in front of the fire with a bottle of beer, skimming through the mail. His saintly mother had been dying for a visit recently, and his father was still annoyed at him moving out. ("Malfoy's stick together son. That's now it has always been. Do you think yourself to be a better person to defy 700 years of tradition?") Pansy had been whining about something. Typical evening.
As he retired to bed at around 1:30 am, he heard a sharp tap on his window. Irritated at being disturbed at this hour, he picked up his wand to weave around another privacy charm when he noticed the source. Waving his wand, his window opened and the owl swooped in to deliver the letter before flying away.
Sighing, he wondered elatedly who in their right minds would be owling him at this hour. At first he thought he'd read it later. But then the Ministry seal made him change his mind. What did they want now? Another office building? For god's sake—
The window shattered, causing his door man to wake up from his sleep. Precisely at that moment, Blaise Zabini apparated into his apartment, positively livid.
November 2nd, 2010
By next morning, the letters to the Hogwarts batch had created a buzz in the wizarding Britain. The Daily Prophet was full of reports and opinions on the matter, with some calling Percy a 'messiah of love' and others calling him 'a lunatic harbinger of emotional destruction'.
Hermione had stomped into her office, summoning a dozen books on the various laws of the wizarding world, dating back to the 5th Century. She then shut herself in her office and poured over each book like a hungry hyena, waiting to prey on anything that would fill her up. She searched through everything, even looking into Rowland's Ridiculous Laws to find anything, anything to fight this monstrosity that Percy had unleashed. She was running out of time; tonight, Percy would have his Amendment read and enforced by the Ministry senate.
She knew she was late when she heard the announcement through the speakers about a new enforcement. She sat down numbly between her pool of books. For the first time in years, she began to cry because of complete and utter hopelessness.
Same day,
"I shall sue him! That bloody son of a hokey! I'll kill him!" roared Draco. He had been fuming all night, unable to sleep. Right now, he was taking out his frustration on his parents, who didn't know whether to be horrified at this display of anger or to be amused at their sons' choice of words.
"Honey, what you say will not change this. You have to think positively about his," tried Narcissa.
"Positive? How can you expect him to be positive at a time like this Cissa? This is his future!" said Lucius, rather taken aback by the law himself.
"I could be paired with an otter! How can they decide! Marry in a year? Kids in 4? The Weaselbrat has lost his bloody mind! Considering he had one to begin with!" Raged Draco.
"We shall find a way out of this darling, we shall. But I doubt sacrificing my best chinaware would be a way out," said Narcissa, pointing dryly at the dishes which Draco had oh-so-graciously broken as a vent for his temper.
Lucius said nothing; he only appeared completely thoughtful. Draco smirked. He knew that look. The Malfoy's were going to fight back, or turn the tables in their favour.
November 5th, 2010
"So tell me Ms. Granger, how you would describe yourself in 25 words or less?" asked Dolores Umbridge, the stupid 'therapist' assigned to Hermione.
"Let's see here, um, irritated, completely bored, annoyed, slightly tired, sort of sadistic and overall angered at the idiot who invented this," replied Hermione, twirling her wand carelessly. They had been going back and forth over her personality traits for an hour now, and therapist Umbridge was getting mildly irked.
"I meant that seriously Ms. Granger. You have to realize that your future husband is in my hands. I don't think you would want to mess that, being the practical and far sighted girl that you are."
"And I would remind you that Mr. Percy Ignatius Weasley has promised a bright and happy future. Now you wouldn't want to mess up his programme because of your moronic theories now would you, being the practical and far sighted 'lady' you are," replied Hermione calmly.
"Well, I could just inform him that you were refusing to cooperate in the matter at all," said Umbridge, startled at the blatant threat.
She had interviewed quite a few people in the last few days. Almost all ad been sarcastic in the beginning and had become serious once she'd let a tiny threat slip. This specimen however, was taking longer to crack.
"And I could just inform him that you were willing to tamper with lives and generations of families just for a little sadistic pleasure," sighed Hermione, looking downright sad, as though the very thought would make her sad, though it was quite the opposite.
"Please Ms. Granger; I have my next appointment waiting. Why can't you just finish up quickly and we both get on with our lives?"
Hermione seemed to consider for a moment, tapping her chin. Surrendering, she began describing herself.
Draco Malfoy had been a less of an irritation to Dolores Umbridge, who talked to him for exactly five minutes before seeing him off. He'd been eager to 'get it over with' as he put it, and had been the most cooperative of all.
End of the day, Dolores sat down with all her notes to analyze her days work. Most of her patients had been matched up temporarily, with the number increasing everyday as more and more were being interviewed. She went about the usual business of matching up the people, reading their responses and viewing their interviews through a pensieve just to cross check.
When she came down to the remaining last two, she couldn't help but grin gleefully as she matched up the pair. This was going to be so much fun!
Loved it? Hated it? Don't keep it to yourself, Review!
Coming up next: Harry and Ron. =P