Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy.
Author's Note: I shouldn't be writing this. What I should be doing is writing a paper that is due on Thursday. But I am sick at home and in the mood for procrastination. So here I am, with some fluffy-fluff-fluff (you've been warned). Please, do enjoy.
Summary: A night at home causes Arizona to wonder aloud. Set sometime mid-Season Six, post Invest In Love, pre baby talk.
What I Did For Love-
-A Short Story
Arizona Robbins couldn't move.
She grunted as Calliope's weight fell onto her more as the woman drifted deeper into sleep. She let her head fall back against the arm of the couch, looking up at the ceiling as she tried to recall how she had come to be in her current position.
They had settled on the couch after a long day of surgeries and a dinner of left over takeout to enjoy the simple pleasure of cuddling, conversation, wine, and music. There would be no Cristina tonight who would instead be spending the night on-call. No Cristina meant no Owen. Which meant the apartment was theirs. Something both she and Calliope reveled in.
A while into their alone time, after their wine had been drained, Arizona had stretched across the couch. Lying on her back she had pulled Calliope down with her until the Latina was on her side, situated between the back of the couch and Arizona; using the blonde's shoulder as a pillow. It was comfortable and calming, to feel the length of the person you loved so close to yours.
It was a decision that Arizona was now beginning to regret.
Not five minutes into their reclined position Calliope had drifted, her body falling more and more onto Arizona's as she lost control to consciousness. And now, she was stuck, between the brunette's protective arm around her middle and the increasingly uncomfortable couch (one she had begged Calliope to replace).
Arizona blinked at the ceiling before looking back to the black mess of hair that was settled on her chest, debating what to do. She could shake her girlfriend; bring her back to the world enough to move to a more comfortable position. She could just try and worm her way out and onto the floor. But both included waking Calliope and that was an option Arizona could not bring herself to do. Not after their long day. Not when they both needed sleep. And she would readily give up her own comfort for Calliope's.
Calliope grunted and dug deeper into her makeshift pillow, finding more comfort in her slumber. Incoherent mumblings emitted from her rosy lips and Arizona smiled.
Yes, she was perfectly fine where she was.
Making sure to keep a hold around her sleeping girlfriend, Arizona reached out with her left hand, biting her tongue in concentration, she used the tips of her fingers to pull the remote off of the coffee table. With a triumphant smile, she turned off the quiet music they had been listening to. The room immediately clicked into silence.
Dropping the stereo remote on the ground, Arizona brought her left hand up and brushed gentle locks out of Calliope's face.
When they had originally settled on the couch they had turned off all of the lights and opened the blinds, enjoying the gentle setting of the sun. But night had since come and the room was now lit with nothing but the soft shine of the moon and twinkle of the stars.
Arizona smiled. It was no secret she found Calliope gorgeous. Breathtaking. Stunning. But it still amazed her, even after their time together, what Calliope looked like at night. It was as if the woman had a natural ability to find the moonlight, to capture and hold it, illuminating her features in such a way that Arizona often forgot to breath. No other woman she had known had ever been able to look like Calliope did at night. And she was sure that no other woman would ever be able to. It was a sort of magic she couldn't comprehend, one she reveled in being able to see every night.
And, Arizona knew, she was lucky to be able to witness it. Lucky that she was the one Calliope had chosen to share her special magic with.
Arizona often wondered if Calliope's previous lovers marveled at her beauty like she did. Did they take the time to watch her sleep? Did they take the time to realize how lucky they were? Did they take the time to notice how stunning this woman could be without even trying?
She wondered, but somewhere in the back of her mind, Arizona knew the answer.
They didn't. With the things she had heard about Calliope's past, she knew those her girlfriend had given her heart to had not realized what it was they were privy to.
Erica had been wrapped up in herself, though Arizona could be sympathetic; coming out was a process of surprising self-discovery. Mark had been nothing but looking for a good time, which was nothing different; he almost always was and Arizona thanked the Lord for the day Lexie Grey entered his life.
Then there was George. Who had needed love and support at a low point in his life. Calliope had given freely and had been repaid with an affair.
And that was something Arizona could not understand. Something she could not sympathize with. Quite the contrary, it made her blood boil. How could someone knowingly inflict such pain on the woman before her?
She had been hurt and yet by the time Arizona had entered her life, Calliope and George were on speaking terms. Good terms. Forgiving terms.
"I don't understand you," Arizona suddenly found herself whispering aloud, no longer able to keep her thoughts to herself. Seeking answers, though she knew she would find none tonight. "He hurt you. Betrayed you." She brushed another lock out of Calliope's face and the woman snuggled closer in response.
"But you forgave him. He—he died and you couldn't breathe. You loved him, I understand that."
Arizona paused, trying to gather her thoughts, looking to the ceiling. Quietly, Calliope mumbled incoherently.
"Joanne was the first person I ever loved. We weren't married, of course, but she did to me what George did to you. I was barely able to talk to her by the time I moved out here, let alone forgive her. And I can say, I don't know if I ever will. But you." Arizona looked back down to Calliope, feeling her breath catch as she was once again caught by the light of the moon dancing across olive-tinted features.
"You were married and you forgave him. You found it in your heart to forgive. He betrayed you. He died and you couldn't breathe…"
Arizona's words drifted, her mouth moving as no sound came out, until all movement ceased; the sound of her own voice lulling her to sleep in the dark of the night.
Arizona awoke with a thud.
She groaned as her eyes blinked open, falling on the sight of the coffee table leg. She rolled onto her back and pushed herself onto her elbows, wiping sleep from her eyes. She turned to the couch, not surprised to find Calliope spread across the entirety of it. She scowled, feeling slight resentment at the fact that her girlfriend was a conveniently heavy sleeper.
Arizona dropped back onto her back and sighed, brushing the hair out of her own face. Morning had come, the room was bathed with bright oranges and blues and there would be no more sleep for her now. It was time to face the day.
Slowly she pushed herself up and into a standing position; carefully she grabbed the throw off the back of the couch and covered Calliope with it. Satisfied with her caretaking, she made way for the bedroom.
She made straight for the bathroom, stripping off her clothes as she went not caring where they landed. She knew the messiness of it would bother Calliope, but she giggled anyway; remembering the last time the Latina had scolded her for her discarded clothing.
"Couldn't you just put them on the bed? Or in the corner? Anywhere where they are together?"
"Nope," she replied over the steam of the shower. "They're my bread crumbs."
"Bread crumbs?" Calliope asked, opening the glass of the shower and sticking her head inside. Arizona smirked slightly as the woman's eyes appreciatively swept her body.
Arizona nodded. "Like Hansel and Gretl. So I can find my way back."
"In case you get lost in the closet?"
Arizona's brow rose, "I haven't been lost in a closet for years now, Calliope."
Calliope laughed. "You know what I mean."
Arizona shook her head. "Their so I can find my way back to you."
Calliope snorted, her laughter increasing. "You are a dork."
Arizona held her hand up, waving away Calliope's small jab. "I am endearing."
"What ever you say, Gretl," Calliope said, smacking Arizona's behind quickly before she closed the shower door and disappeared from the bathroom.
Arizona smiled as the memory finished, turning on the water to a comfortable temperature and stepping under the stream. She sighed.
She had never been one for morning showers. Before she had met Calliope she had been a late-night bath taker, washing away the sweat, work, and worry of the day with candles and bath salts. But the more time she spent with her girlfriend the more she began to appreciate the early morning shower. There was something refreshing about it. Starting the day with a completely clean, slate. Fresh, clean, and ready for whatever chaos a day at the hospital would soon dirty you with. They were wonderful, especially when shared with her raven-haired beauty.
As if Calliope had heard her thoughts, the door to the shower opened and Arizona was joined by her previously sleeping girlfriend. She hummed when she felt two loving arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her close.
"Good morning," she said as Calliope placed a kiss on her bare shoulder.
Calliope hummed, "You're clothes are all over my room again."
Arizona laughed, lightly patting the arms that were rubbing slow circles on her stomach. "But they led you to me. Told you it would be useful."
Arizona felt, more than heard, Calliope snort behind her. "Dork," she whispered into Arizona's ear, biting softly to keep the blonde from retorting. "Did you sleep well?"
Arizona nodded. "Until you kicked me off of the couch."
Arizona felt her body being turned until they were face to face, their fronts pressed together. Calliope smiled at her bashfully, "Sorry. I'll make it up to you?"
Arizona smiled and nodded. "You better," she said, before sliding her hand around Calliope's neck and pulling her in for a kiss. She meant for it to be quick and sweet, simple and lovely but as she was about to pull back, Calliope's grip on her tightened pulling Arizona back in; stealing her breath away.
When Calliope finally relented, they parted, keeping their distance close. Arizona watched as Calliope studied her features, bringing a hand up and brushing blonde hair out of her face, smoothing down her head, around her neck, before settling over her heart.
And before Arizona could comprehend what was being said, Calliope was speaking:
"George died and I couldn't breathe."
Arizona's eyes widened and she felt her breath catch in her throat. "Calliope I-."
Calliope shook her head, "No, don't," she said, her voice falling to a whisper. "George died and I couldn't breathe."
Arizona winced, hearing her own insecurities lacing her words even though Calliope spoke them.
"George died and I couldn't breathe," Calliope repeated for a third time and Arizona lowered her eyes to the shower floor, watching the water swirl down the drain. "But if I lost you…" Arizona felt Calliope move her hand from her chest, up her neck, until it was cupping her cheek, forcing her to look up and their eyes to lock. "…My heart would stop."
And in that instant, Arizona was sure hers did just that. Stopping before starting again with rapid fire, swelling with a lightness she had never felt before. She tried to respond but words escaped her. So instead, she brought her hands to frame Calliope'ss face, using her thumbs to brush across her cheek bones. Tenderly, she pushed up on her toes, softly brushing her lips across Calliope's; trying to convey what it was she felt.
"I love you," Arizona whispered, her lips brushing against Calliope's with each word. She slid her hands around the neck before her and felt Calliope's wrap around her waist, pulling each other as close as possible as they rested their foreheads together.
The water continued to poor down around them, pelting their bodies with its warmth. They didn't move. They didn't speak. Arizona closed her eyes, smiling as she felt her heart sync with Calliope's. Their breathing slowing until it became one single inhale and exhale of air. Quiet. Serene. Comfortable. Loving.
Arizona Robbins couldn't move. And, she found, she didn't care if she ever did again.
Fin