Author's Note: Oh look, another one! :D Yes, I have one for Kanda as well as Lavi. I also have one for Allen too ;) This one is extremely... odd. And not half as funny as Lavi's. So... don't kill me please? Sorry for Kanda's OOCness... it just made this more fun for me... :3
*Allen's POV*
1. Kanda is not allowed to kill any stranger that touches him
2. Kanda is not allowed to kill fan girls
3. Kanda is not allowed to kill innocent bystanders that stare at him
4. On second thought, Kanda is not allowed to kill anything but demons.
5. Kanda is not allowed to be bipolar
6. Kanda is not allowed to call me beansprout
7. Kanda is not allowed to rip off Lavi's headband
8. Then burn it
9. And when Lavi gets upset, claim that it "was too ugly for him to look at"
10. Kanda is not allowed to try to kill Jeryy when he runs out of soba
11. Kanda is not allowed to try to kill me when he finds out I'm the one that ate all the soba Jeryy made.
12. Kanda is not allowed to brag about how many fan girls he has.
13. Because technically I HAVE MORE. pouts
14. Kanda is not allowed to be angry all the time
15. Never mind, even if I write it down, he'll still be eternally pissed off….
16. Kanda is not allowed to lock himself in his room
17. Who knows what he's doing in there…
18. Kanda is not allowed to come crying to Lenalee
19. And sob that his "imaginary boyfriend" broke up with him
20. And beg for advice
21. Thus making Lenalee feel very awkward and unsure of what to do
22. And make all of us guys wonder who he's gay for
23. Kanda is not allowed to say "Tch" every time he doesn't want to answer a question
24. Because often we are eagerly awaiting the answer.
25. Kanda is not allowed to slap little girls
26. Not that it's happened before…
27. But eventually it will…
28. Kanda is not allowed to get mad when Lavi calls him Yuu-chan.
29. Because it's an extremely amusing nickname
30. Kanda is not allowed to cut himself
31. We don't know for sure that it happens because he heals fast and it doesn't leave scars…
32. But we suspect he's emo…
33. And emo gay guy, who knew?
34. Kanda is not allowed to chuck people out the window
35. Especially me T_T
36. Kanda is not allowed to kill anything that touches his soba.
37. Why does he only like soba? What's wrong with mac and cheese or spaghetti?
38. Mmm… mac and cheese… oh sorry.
39. Kanda is not allowed to flirt with guys
40. Again, it hasn't happened yet, but if he had an IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND….
41. Kanda is not allowed to throw death glares at people.
42. It makes you feel like you're burning.
43. Kanda is not allowed to sing in the shower
44. Just kidding, he doesn't do that XD
45. Kanda is not allowed to randomly steal my dango because I ate all the soba that one time. (he should really just get over it)
46. Kanda is not allowed to get pissed off when I beat him at cards
47. Because, really, no one can beat me 8D
48. Kanda is not allowed to scream at little kids and make them run away crying.
49. Kanda is not allowed to act like he is the most amazing being in the world because he's gay.
50. And I'm way better than him anyways. I can get a girlfriend that actually EXISTS and have a REAL, NON-GAY relationship...
"HA! DONE!" I proclaimed and Lavi glanced up from one of the many books Bookman was forcing him to read.
"What's done?" he asked as he eyed my triumphant expression with unease.
"My list of things Kanda isn't allowed to do," I said matter-of-factly. He raised an eyebrow and lowered his book slightly.
"…Give it here," he said after a moment, curiosity getting the better of him. I handed him the list and he skimmed through it quickly. His face split into a grin.
"Yuu-chan's imaginary boyfriend, I remember that," Lavi snickered. "Thank goodness he got over that nonsense…"
Suddenly, Kanda burst into the room in tears.
"ALLEN, LAVI! I NEED YOUR HELP!" he cried. Lavi and I stared at him with disbelief.
"Uh, are you okay, Yuu-chan?" Lavi asked slowly, staring at Kanda who was now kneeling on the floor sobbing his eyes out.
"I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT OKAY! WOULD YOU BE OKAY IF YOU CALLED YOUR IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND TO TRY AND GET HIM BACK BUT HE TELLS YOU TO STOP CALLING HIM AND THAT HE HAS A NEW BOYFRIEND? WOULD YOU BE OKAY?" Kanda screamed hysterically. Lavi and I exchanged an exasperated look.
"Oh god…" I muttered.
"Not this…" Lavi groaned.
"PLEASE, TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO TO GET HIM BACK," Kanda sobbed. I facepalmed myself and Lavi shook his head pityingly.
I snatched my list from Lavi and scrawled another number on the page.
51. Kanda is not allowed to come crying to me and Lavi and beg us to help him get his imaginary boyfriend back.
is running away from Kanda fan girls I'M SORRY FOR MAKING HIM GAY AND OOC! FORGIVE MEEEEEE!
If you hated it as much as the hardcore Kanda fan girls, leave a review and let me know! Or even if you loved it, I'd love to hear your opinions! I'll be posting Allen's soon too :D
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hide in my bomb shelter. Fan girls really go to the extreme sometimes o.o;;;