Just Another Day
Summary: The day started out just like any other day. Alice and Jasper were relaxing and enjoying each other's company when she was stuck by a vision. Just who is this Kagome woman, what connection does she have with Jasper and what will it mean for them?
Beta: Yuki
Alice smiled as she twirled around her family's home, as always it was late in the night but like the rest of her family she didn't need sleep. Instead she opted to rearrange all the music in the house, much to Edward's ire, but she was bored and her mate was busy longing on the couch reading yet another book. Her siblings Rose and Emmet were out on yet another honey moon, Edward and Bella were shacked up in their small cottage in the forest leaving their 'parents' to babysit Neisse.
"What are you doin' darlin'?" She smiled as her mate's western drawl met her ears and easily and fluidly twirled so she was facing him and lowered herself into his lap. Once in his lap she smiled up at him and curled into his embrace, nuzzling his neck as he chuckled and put his book down to her hold.
"Nothing dear, just bored…Oh!" She stiffened as a vision wrapped its self around her conscious. The room faded to black and slowly but surely fuzzy and hazy objects filled her vision. Sounds assaulted her ears as did a flowery scent mixed with blood. It was strange yet erotic as was the bell like voice that giggled. She forced herself to focus on the vision and immediacy it became clearer.
Once again her ears were assaulted by a girlish giggle. "Jasper…how I've missed you." A young Asian woman smiled as she lounged in the arms of her mate who was wearing an equally content smile. Jasper smiled as he ran his hands over the female's small back. The young woman giggled again and pressed herself closer to Jasper.
"And I've missed you darlin." The young woman nuzzled Jaspers neck and leaned up to kiss him. Jasper met the kiss without a seconds hesitation. The kiss started out slow and innocent but quickly grew in passion and before her very eyes they started making out much like Rose and Emmet did. "My Jasper…" The female's voice was low and seductive as Jasper nipped and sucked at her neck.
"My Kagome…" Jaspers voice was low and gruff with emotion.
Alice gasped as the young woman looked at her, blue eyes swimming with emotion as she arched her chest into Jasper's ever wandering hands. The young woman, now known as Kagome, smiled at her and opened her mouth to say something. "Ali-"
Alice gasped, a human trait she had yet to rid herself of, as she came back to the world of the 'living' and let her mind wander over what she had just seen. Jasper…her Jasper was with another woman…her mate was with another woman while she was in the same room and he did not even acknowledge her! Quickly her mood soured as she thought over what she had seen and what it implicated.
Jasper frowned as his little mate's aura lashed around her jumping from emotion to emotion. He quickly sat up holding his mate in his lap as her aura seemed to grow darker and darker. Whatever she had seen it was most assuredly not good, if her reaction to it was any indication, and like any good mate he was worried about her and knew that the only way to get to the root of the problem was to flat out ask her what was wrong. He just really hoped it didn't have anything to do with the Volturi because in all honesty he was getting really sick and tired of the fall out of Edward and Bella's 'love story.'
"Darlin' what's wrong?" His concern was easily showed by rubbing her back in calming motion as he tried to influence her mood if only a bit to make her calm down. It worked a bit but after so many years of being together it was dulled.
Alice knew he was trying to calm her down, out of concern, but at the moment it only served to piss her off even more. While she knew it was wrong for her to be mad at him for something that hadn't happened yet, or that could even be avoided, she couldn't help it! Jasper was her mate, hers! She had seen the happiness they were supposed to have and she would not let this 'Kagome' ruin it. So with fire in her eyes she pulled back to glare up at her mate and with venom in her voice asked him the question that had been bouncing around in her mind.
"Who is Kagome and what is she to you?" She watched with narrowed eyes as Jasper paled, quite a feat for one of their kind, and flinched away from her like he had been struck. This only cemented the thought in her mind that the vision she had saw would come true and her ire was raised even more.
For the first time in a very long time Jasper was stunned and as soon as he let his mind wander he was assaulted by hundreds of memories and emotions brought on by that one name. Kagome.
Kagome.
Kagome.
His Kagome.
He shook lightly as year's worth of suppressing memories and feelings was undone by the mere mention of her name.
In Alice's mind Jasper's silence was only adding to the paranoid thoughts bouncing around in her head and for once she wished Edward was around if only so she could find out what her mate was thinking. Even though she was no mind reader she had an inkling for his emotions were bouncing all over the room and it scared her a bit. Jasper was always in control of his emotions, had been for as long as she had known and that was hundreds of years. Yet here he was projecting all kinds of emotions and switching from emotion to emotion in the blink of an eye.
She was worried and she was scared, so sacred that it overrode her anger and paranoid thoughts and all she wanted to do was to comfort her distraught mate. "Japer honey what's wrong? Please tell me what's wrong so I can fix it." She cupped her hands on his cheeks and forced him to look at her but as soon as she caught sight of his glazed eyes she knew he wasn't seeing her but something else, someone else.
Jasper tried as hard as he could to detangle himself from the memories that were threatening to drown him and desperately tried to cling to the present. He hissed lightly as he forced himself to pull away from the memories of his past and focused on the worried face of his mate. Once that almost impossible task was completed he quickly reigned in his ragging emotions and took a calming breath. Once he was certain that he had a grip on himself he met his mate's worried gaze and gave her a small weary smile.
Alice tentatively returned it yet her worry was not ebbed. She moved so she was sitting on his lap and hugging him tightly, afraid that if she let go he would once again slip into the state he was in seconds ago. Once she assured herself she had a firm grip on him and that he wasn't going anywhere she, in a soothing voice, whispered Jaspers name to get his attention.
"Jasper darling please tell me what's wrong…"
Jasper took a long calming breath, inhaling his mate's scent, and steeled his nerves. He had never told anyone what he was about to tell his small little mate and the only other person who knew about what he was going to tell her was Edward and that was only because her was a mind rapist.
"I...it's Kagome. I knew a Kagome a long time ago, before you. Before I was changed…she was my lover. She was a long way from home when I found her wandering the desert. She had no idea where she was or how she had gotten there. She could barely speak English yet I felt an instant connection with her and vice versa. I took her under my wing and made it my mission to protect her, I was the only person she could count on…"
Jasper's eyes glazed over as he lost himself in the memoires.
"She was a true beauty that she was. A rose in the desert, her skin was as pale as milk…her hair was as black as the night and her eyes were as blue as the sky. She was perfect and she was mine. We married not long after I found her; it was never boring with her around. Once she perfected her English she entertained me and my company with stories of her home. Japan. Isn't that wild? She was from Japan yet had somehow wound up in Texas…."
Alice couldn't help the small well of jealousy as she listened to her mate talk about Kagome. Nonetheless she pushed it down and listened.
"Not long after we were married I was made lieutenant and to celebrate we decided to go to the more rural part of Texas, to visit my ranch…that's where we were attacked. They came out of nowhere and before I knew what was happening she was on the ground screaming and holding a hand to her bleeding neck. I tried to get to her but was tossed aside by a male with blood red eyes. I fought my hardest but it was impossible. I was forced to listen to her scream in agony while the man and his female companions laughed. They talked calmly as if nothing was wrong."
A muscle in his check twitched in anger and Alice nuzzled closer to her mate trying to wane his anger. No longer was she consumed by jealousy but pity. For she knew all too well what had happened to the young woman. While she was confused as to why he never mentioned her nor the male before when telling the family of how he was changed she was sure he would explain and that he had to have had his reasons.
"The women giggled madly as Kagome tried to crawl her way to me and turned to the man. I remember the calm calculating way they discussed whether or not to change me. The man didn't care so long as he had the beauty, my Kagome. In the end it was decided that they would change me, to keep the set together, and you know the rest. When I woke up I had no idea where I was or what had happened. I was still sore and overwhelmed by the change and by my thirst. It was two weeks before I fully remembered what had happened and my Kagome."
Alice didn't need to have her mate's empathy in order to feel the guilt wafting off of him. She held him closer and crooned lightly in his ear. He merely tightened his grip to let her know he took comfort in it.
When he spoke again his voice wavered with emotion. "When I saw her again it was too late, the man, Naraku. He poisoned her mind. She didn't remember me nor that she was my wife. She was brainwashed to believe she was his mate. It tore me apart because no matter how hard I tried to convince her she did not believe me. In the end Naraku got fed up with me attempting to 'take his mate' and they left. Afterwards I became depressed; I had lost not only my life but my wife. I then gave in to the women's wishes and helped them build army after army to battle. Battling was the only way to keep my mind busy. The only way to bury the pain."
He took a shaky breath and ran a hand through his curly locks. "I never saw her again. I did hear little tidbits here and there but nothing concrete. Not long after she was taken away I met you and the others and forced myself to leave her and my past where it belonged. In the past. Now, if you don't mind can you please tell me what you saw?"
Alice worried her lip between her teeth, while she felt bad for her mate for losing his first wife she was apprehensive about telling him what she saw. She did not want to lose her mate, he was her 'life' yet at the same time she knew, living with Edward, it was bound to come out sooner or later. Add in the fact that she was never really good at lying let alone to her mate, who she never liked to lie to, she came to the conclusion that it would be best to tell him what she had seen. While she was nervous and scared that it would change things between them she had faith that their love could not be so easily swayed. So with a small quivering voice she told him of what she had seen.
Jasper was stunned, floored even. He…he didn't know what to do, say or think. Some part of him was ecstatic that his Kagome would remember him and come back to him. Another part was guilty for feeling such a thing when he had his sweet little Alice. He loved Alice, he really did, she was his mate his reason for being. At the same time he was torn. Kagome was his wife, and yes it was to death did them part but he had never stopped loving her. She was his other half when he was living and he wanted her back. Yet he knew that couldn't be. He was with Alice now and she was his life now, his other half.
Yet, from what Alice had seen it seemed that it wouldn't matter, Kagome would come back to him and he would welcome her with open arms. Yet where did that leave Alice? The thought of her not being in his life hurt him, it physically hurt him. At the same time the thought of having his Kagome back filled him with a hope and happiness he hadn't felt in hundreds of years. And while he enjoyed the rush of warm and forgotten feelings when thinking about her return he had to admit to himself that even if it was supposed to happen he would not leave Alice. She had picked up the pieces that he had been shattered into when his wife was taken from him and he would not abandon her not even for Kagome.
Yes, the thought of once again losing Kagome hurt him but at the same time she had been lost to him for so many years that the hurt was a dull ache. All the while a small voice in the back of his head whispered to him that Kagome would be worth it. When they were alive they had been perfect for each other, two halves of a whole. He had married her and planned to live happily ever after with her, having many children and live on his ranch until they were old and gray. His more rational side argued that he wasn't alive anymore. Nor was she and they couldn't have children nor could they live on his ranch until they were old and gray. That dream, that happily ever after, was gone. It was ripped from their hands by Naraku and they could never get it back.
Alice chewed her lip between her teeth as her mate sat in silent thought. She honestly had no idea what he was thinking, nor what he was going to do. A part of her was ready for him to leave her for his past love and another was yelling at her. How dare she have so little faith in her mate? They had been together for years, hundreds of them and she had seen their futures many times and though they changed a bit there was always one constant. They were together and they were happy. That small voice, the one that was telling her he was going to leave her, piped up again stating that this time she had seen a future where he was happy, happier then she had seen him in years, and it was not with her.
Her anxiety skyrocketed the more she thought about it and before she knew it she was shaking lightly as the anxiety gave way to fear.
Jasper quickly shook himself out of his thoughts when he felt his little mate's anxiety and fear wash over him. He quickly went to work calming her and held her to his chest and grumbled lowly to her. He knew he was to blame for her current state; instead of immediately reassuring her that he would never leave her he was busy thinking about the possibility of doing so. He was disgusted by himself and the fact that the thought had crossed his mind. He would not leave her, no, he would stay with his little mate even if it meant forever closing the door on his past wife. Now he had to convince not only her but himself that his decision was firm and would not waver.
"Hush Alice. Calm yourself darlin'. You know I would neva' leave ya. Shhhh." Alice merely wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him a feeling of relief washing over her, yet with that relief was the undertone of doubt, she had never doubted nor had any reason to doubt his words yet they had never faced a trail such as this. While she knew she should trust his words what she saw kept replaying in her mind. She knew she should trust him, that the future was ever changing. Yet at the same time she knew her mate. He was usually shy and reserved and it took a while to earn his trust let alone his friendship. Once he cared for a person, once he truly cared and loved a person he would stand by them no matter what. That had been proven when he was willingly to relive his war stained past just to help Edward protect Bella. Bella had yet to make it into his small inner circle of cherished loved ones.
He was a loyal person and she knew that no matter what he said or did he could not just turn off his feelings for his past wife, no more than he could turn off his feelings for her. At the same time he was a man of his word. If he said and promised he wouldn't leave her then he wouldn't. Her mind and emotional state was so stressed and overworked that she easily let her mate override her feelings and calm her down to the point where she was content to just let him hold her. The amount of love he was projecting towards her settled her nerves and solidified her resolve. Jasper loved her and he would not leave her so she had no reason to worry. With that in mind she let herself slip into a slightly meditative state, the closet their kind came to sleep, and curled closer to her mate.
It was three days later that they found themselves back in their normal routine. Said three days had been full of Jasper and Alice confirming their love and trust in each other, though in all honesty it wasn't needed it still put them, mainly Alice, at ease. Things were back to normal and they acted as they always did, the only one who knew anything was wrong in the first place was, once again, Edward due to his inability to control his powers.
As it was everyone was sitting around the living area and enjoying a nice day. Edward and Bella were back from their three day romp in the forest and lounging on the couch and watched Neisse and Jake play with her dolls. Esme and Carlisle were curled up on a love seat just enjoying each others presence and the calm that came with relaxing with family. Jasper was lounging on a chair with Alice curled up on his lap reading the book he had been reading only days before. They were all enjoying the peace and quiet that came with Rose and Emmet being gone.
As mean as it was to say those two sure knew how to stir up trouble. Emmet with his brashness and perverted jokes and Rose with her icy bitchy attitude, which had been on full blast towards Bella lately, and while they loved their siblings dearly it was nice to relax and not have to worry about watching their Q'S and P's. Sadly, they all knew their relaxation was short lived because the duo were due back at the house any time and while they missed the shenanigans that came with living with Rose and Emmet another few hours would be greatly warranted. Bella was still upset by Rose's parting words before they embarked on their latest honeymoon, where it was no one was really sure. They knew it was somewhere in the East, for they had traversed the whole western side of the hemisphere.
Sadly as the saying went 'speak of the devil and he shall appear', all of them perked up at the sound of Rose's car as it made its way towards the house. Everyone shared a small smile, resigning themselves to the fact that their vacation was over, and Jake quickly got up and was out of the balcony door before anyone could even blink. He was still perplexed by Rose's threat to neuter him, and the botched attempt that she had made days before her scheduled honeymoon. Edward gave a small chuckle as he heard everyone's thoughts loud and clear and shook his head.
Not even seconds later was the door to the house banged open and Emmet, carrying loads of packages and various bags ambled his way into the living room and dropped them on the floor. They all smiled as he grinned at them ignoring Roses hiss of displeasure at having her newly bought purchases dropped on the floor like dirty laundry. "Jerk."
Emmet merely flashed her a grin as she entered the door way looking, like always a run way model, she then gave Emmett a pointed glare and he jumped lightly as if remembering something and quickly ran out of the house with a. "Oh yeah almost forgot!"
Rose rolled her eyes as she gave her mother and sister a hug and 'tched' at her spilled purchases. "That big oaf. He's lucky I love him…if anything's broken I swear…" She trialed off as she quickly and easily, using her vampire speed, moved all of the bags to her room and in the blink of an eye she was sitting on the arm of the chair Jasper was sitting in looking like a Cheshire cat. Everyone was a bit apprehensive of that grin, for in the past it had never meant anything good.
With a sickening sweet voice she opened her pretty ruby red lips and in a sing song voice decided to fill them all in on something that she took great pleasure in knowing. Edward furrowed his eyebrows and was about to open his mouth but she silenced him with a glare and a mental shout of 'shut up Edward' and clapped her hands. "I have a surprise for everyone! Emmet bring her in!"
Everyone minus Edward blinked in confusion at the 'her' never once had Rose ever brought company home nor had she ever been excited about company because the last time anyone had brought over a guest it resulted in the whole Bella drama starting. Shooting Edward a smug smile knowing her heard her thought Rose grinned as her mate walked back into the house a small petit Japanese woman slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. So happy was she, that she would in her mind, be introducing a new family member to her family, one that she actually liked, that she was oblivious to the worried looks of Alice and Jasper. Then again she if she had noticed she wouldn't have really cared. Yes she loved her siblings but she was still pissed that they ganged up on her and in her mind betrayed her by letting Bella join their coven and yeah she was biased because Bella had gotten her happily ever after, unlike her and her siblings, but she didn't care. She was Rose and she did what she wanted of story.
"Ano…Emmet I am fully capable of walking…" The light melodic voice washed over all of them and once Emmet was in the room so did her sweet scent of flowers mixed with blood. Her toned behind and long shapely legs were all they were able to see at the moment but instantly they all recognized her as one of them and were curious.
All save for two in the room. Alice felt dread well in her chest, already knowing who this woman was and with a thick gulp she let herself plop on the chair behind her. Ignoring the worried looks of her mother and Edward she placed her hands in her lap, she knew that this was a possibility, since she had her vision, and she knew that making a scene would accomplish nothing. Plus Jasper had spent the past three days pledging and reassuring her that he loved her and he would not leave her. She could say at this point she was not worried about him leaving her, so with as much dignity as she could muster she would sit back and watch how he handled this.
Jasper knew, the second he heard her voice and smelt her scent he knew it was her and with her scent he was once again overcome with emotions that he thought he had reigned in. He thought he was ready for this, that if and when the time came that he would be better prepared for this. He had spent the past three days planning and reassuring his little mate that he wouldn't leave her yet here he was letting himself be overcome by past emotions. He was almost frozen in place as he watched the scene before him.
Kagome giggled as Emmet, the man she now viewed as an older perverted brother, smacked her butt in a playful manner. Normally she would be out for blood but she had spent the past few weeks with him and his mate. She had run into them while roaming the lands of her native home, Japan, and was surprised by the fact that she wasn't the only vampire out there who refused to drink human blood. It had been a relief and in all honesty she had latched on to them. They were the only beings in such a long time that did not treat her badly nor belittle her because of her diet.
They got to talking and though she was not one to place her trust in anyone, not after what had happed with Naraku, she was hard pressed not to trust them. Emmet drew her in with his big brother attitude and though Rose was icy she cared about people and showed it in a unique way. So it was with little surprise that she grew so attached to them and told them of her story, a story that sacred off so many in the past. She didn't recall anything from her life before she was changed, like so many of their kind, nor did she recall being changed, a rarity for all remembered the pain that came with the change, nor the first three weeks of her life as a newborn.
She literally 'woke' one day to find herself a vampire and mated to a vile vampire named Naraku. She had vague memories of a man whose face she could never recall and the feeling that she was whole with him. When she asked Naraku about it he usually became violent so she quickly learned to stop asking him and so she had resigned herself to her fate as his mate. She had done many horrid things while by his side, things that haunted her to this day, yet she knew no other way of existing. It was years later that Kikyo, one of his original changelings, grew tired and jealous of Kagome, since her toy had been stolen by another, and told her the origins of her past.
She was shocked by the news, she had been happily married when she was changed and forcibly separated from her husband and brainwashed by Naraku. She was enraged by this and quickly went on a rampage and while she did a lot of damage to Naraku and his men they were far more powerful then her and she was quickly broken and tossed to the side, left to fend for herself. It was Naraku's thought that she would come crawling back to him, she did not. She spent the next ten or so years, for honesty it was all a blur as the years melded together, trying to repent for the sins she had committed and finding her missing husband. Sadly she still could not remember much about him, neither his name nor his face and soon gave up her search for him. Instead she focused on doing as much good as she could with her 'life'. In that time she trained herself to not drink human blood and instead found a new balanced diet of youkai and animal blood.
Sad diet made her an outcast, plus the fact that she was well known as Naraku's broken toy she was alienated by her fellow vampires and she was fine with that. She was more than ready to live her undead life alone and doing as much good as she could. That was when she had met Rose and Emmet. Part of her new life style was to check out new vampires and she was doing such when she met them and while they started out on rocky ground they got to talking and Kagome knew that in them she had found companions. The feeling was mutual and by the time they were supposed to return home they had invited her to return with them and become part of their family.
While she had he fear and doubts, the last time she was part of a 'family' it had been based off of a lie and had ended horridly. She reassured herself that Rose and Emmet were not like Naraku and his lot and had readily agreed to give it a try. So she had packed up her meager belongings and here she was, in Forks Washington, she hadn't been in the US for hundreds of years, and more than ready to give life with them a try.
"Emmet! Rose control your husband!" Her voice was light with humor, giving no indication of how nervous she was, as she huffed in mock anger.
Rose merely rolled her pretty little eyes and stated in a slow drawl. "Kagome, you should know by now I can't control him all the time. That being said put her down so I can introduce her Emmy Bear."
Emmet huffed at the nick name Kagome had granted him but did as his mate asked. With an exaggerated sigh he placed the small five foot three young woman on her petit feet and grinned down at her while he fluffed her hair.
Kagome huffed and shoved his hand off of her head and glared at him. "Jerk."
He merely grinned and turned to his parents. "Esme, Carlisle this is Kagome. We found her in Japan, she drinks animal blood like us. Can we keep her?" In al truth it sounded like he was asking to keep a puppy that had followed him home but they all ignored it and concentrated on what Emmet had said. It was virtually unheard of to find a rouge vampire that shared their diet and while it was welcome they had to know a little about this young woman before they let her join their family.
Carlisle, being the head of the family and the one with the level head smiled charmingly at her and walked towards her his arms held out in a friendly jester. "Come my dear sit and tell us a little about yourself."
Kagome nodded a little bit taken back by how cheery and welcoming he was, from her experience coven leaders were very picky about who they let in their coven and usually turned her away at a glance. None the less, she was not one to look a gifted horse in the mouth and let him guide her to a seat on one of the plush couches in the living room. She quickly glanced around the room and was startled by how many vampires were in the coven. While Emmet and Rose had told her a bit about their coven they never mentioned it was so large. Most covens were limited to three maybe four people, vampires were moody and territorial creatures by nature, yet this coven was easily more than half a dozen.
If Jasper's heart had still been beating in his chest it would have fluttered in anticipation when her familiar blue orbs glanced around the room, and landed on him. Yet it would have just as easily been crushed when she moved on, not even a flicker of recognition in her eyes. He was confused and hurt yet he hid it well and thought of other things, unless Edward over hear his thoughts and make a scene, then again ever since he had started his own family he really didn't bother much with others problems. It was his thought that his powers had been weakened if not drained by their daughter when she had been conceived yet he had never voiced his opinion on it.
Alice while apprehensive watched Kagome with nervous eyes when Kagome looked around the room, her greatest fear was that she would recognize Jasper right away and thus the drama would begin yet that did not happen. No, Kagome merely looked right past him and while she was internally glad she also felt bad for her mate for she saw the way his eyes dimmed at that action. She was by nature a kind and loving person, she never wished ill on anyone and only wanted what was best for her family and loved ones, so of course she felt bad for her mate but at the same time there was a small part of her that was happy. Said small part secretly hoped Kagome would never remember her past, yet at the same time felt guilty because she knew it was wrong of her and that it would cause her mate pain.
Esme glanced at Alice and Jasper and had an inkling that something was wrong yet had no idea what it was, she thought that it might be the fact that Rose and Emmet had brought home a perspective new family member without even talking to them about it, something she would talk to the two about later, and wrote it off. Instead she turned to the obviously nervous young woman and offered her a small smile, her mothering nature taking hold of her. The poor girl looked no older then fifteen at most yet she knew that she could be older seeing as Asians aged differently then most.
She glanced at her mate and already she could tell by the way he smiled and made small talk with Kagome that his mind had been made up. He was a very trusting and welcoming man and that was why she loved him and as his mate she would stand by his decision yet at the same time she would make sure that all her children had an input on the situation because it also involved them as well. "So Kagome, how long have you been one of us?"
Kagome blinked and turned to the obvious matriarch of the family and lowered her gaze, from her experience matriarchs did not like it when a new young female met their gaze. "Um. Honestly I'm not quite sure…the first two or three weeks after I was changed are a blur. Nor do I recall my life before I was change and more importantly I don't even remember being changed. As odd as it sounds but if I had to guess I would say it's been about two hundred and fifty five…maybe six years since I was changed."
Now that shocked everyone, save for Rose and Emmet who knew this already, for how could someone not remember being changed? Sure it was normal for them not to remember their lives before being changed, it was a rare feat if one did, and it was common for the first few weeks of a newborns life to be a blur but to not remember being changed? That was odd in indeed.
Carlisle mulled that little fact over and instantly his inquisitive mind was peaked. He was a doctor among other things and it was always his passion to figure out new things and this would most certainly offer him a chance to solve a rare puzzle. It only added to his decision of offering her place in his family, after having a dissuasion with said family that is, and he hoped they would all agree. "I see, that is curious…do you recall anything at all?"
Kagome turned back to Carlisle and blinked. "Um, sometimes I remember a figure, a man I think. I can never see his face or recall his name but I get the feeling that I was happy with him. I think he might have been my husband…I'm not sure."
Now this once again stunned everyone, she was married? Yet she didn't recall to who, now that was sad and made almost everyone in the room pity her. Bella frowned at that thought and Edward squeezed her hand already picking up on her thoughts, something that after Neisse had been born he was able to do. To not remember the name or face of the one you loved was a horrid thing. "That's so sad."
Kagome merely licked her lips and nodded lightly. "I guess…I don't really remember him much so in a sense it's not like I'm in a lot of pain. Anyways, I've been on a diet of youkai and animal blood for the past fifty three years or so, so I can assure you if you let me stay there won't be any problems with my self control."
Carlisle smiled at her gently and patted her shoulder. "That is good to know." He then continued to engage her in small talk and get a general feel of her personality and what she would bring to their family.
While he didn't show it her words had cut him to the core. She didn't remember him and from the sounds of things she didn't even care. It upset, hurt, and angered him yet as quickly as he felt each emotion it was gone. He had no right to be mad at her it wasn't her fault she didn't remember and honestly maybe it was better that she didn't remember. It was obvious from what he was feeling from his family that she was going to be offered a place in their family and if she didn't remember their past together it would make things so much easier. Though he would remember he could easily push those memories and feelings to the back of his mind, as he had been doing for the past hundred and so years. In doing so he wouldn't be tempted to rekindle things with her and hurt his little mate, Alice. He would in a sense have both women in his life and while it would be strictly a platonic and sisterly relation with Kagome, at least he would have her back in his life and not feel guilty.
So with a dull throb he resigned himself to being just friends with her and have to bury his feelings and memories of being with her deep down. If she did in time remember things, as Alice's visions hinted at, they would cross that bridge when they came to it. Hopefully by then his romantic feelings for her would have shifted to something else and there would be no drama.
Alice glanced at her mate and gave him a small smile and he returned it along with a wave of positive and reassuring emotions. She welcomed them and held out her hand for him to take. He did so without question and let himself be pulled down to sit next to her. She winced lightly as his grip became a bit too tight but bared it knowing that he was in pain and no doubt conflicted. She just hoped that things wouldn't become too complicated with Kagome in their family. While she knew she would harbor some unkind feelings for the young woman she would try her best to get along with her, if only for her Jaspers sake. If the time came when Kagome remembered everything then they would deal with that when it happened. While she would hold her ground as Jaspers mate she would be hard pressed to keep an open mind.
So it was two hours later that it was decided that Kagome would indeed join their family and while there was cause for celebration there was also cause for worry for none of them could have ever predicted what would happen a mere month and a half later. Not even Alice, who was well known for knowing the future before it happened.
It was four and a half weeks since Kagome had joined the family and things in her mind could never be better. She was part of a family that loved her and treated her like more than a pawn to be used. She had gained not only a new family but friends as well. In all honesty she shouldn't have been surprised that they were sharing their territory with were-shifters. She had seen many things in the past and she had drank from youkai, yet she was still a bit baffled by the pack of were-shifters. They weren't youkai yet they weren't human and she enjoyed talking with Billy about their legends and trying to piece the mystery together.
While things between her and the pack had stared out roughly, they after all had a bad history with her kind; it wasn't long before she had gained their trust and respect. She wasn't vain in any sense of the word, but she had noticed that she gave out an aura that drew others in and made them feel comfortable. At times it was good and at others it was bad, not long after she had left Naraku she had attracted the attention of a human boy Hojo and he had stalked her for a while until she packed up and left. Something Emmet and Paul loved to tease her about, those jerks.
She blinked when Edward chuckled and mock glared at him. "Mind rapist." It was a term she had picked up from Emmet and it had stuck.
Edward merely smiled and shook his head at her. "Not my fault, you should know by now I can't control it." She huffed yet titled her head to the side. "Have you ever really tired? I mean I knew a few youkai who had similar powers to yours and they could control it."
He frowned, in all honestly he had never really given it more than a passing thought. He had tried once and it hadn't worked so he had never tired again and resigned himself to the fact that he would always be able to pick up peoples thoughts like a broken radio. "Well, honestly no I haven't tried all that hard. I tried once and it didn't work so I gave up."
Kagome rolled her eyes and plopped on the couch and patted the seat next to her. "Come sit, I will give you a quick tutoring of what I know about controlling abilities like yours."
Edward smiled, thinking already that it wouldn't work but decided to humor her, she ad quickly become a beloved little sister to him. "Okay, but if it doesn't work no complaining." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah now sit. Okay hmmm how did Hiei describe it mmm. Okay I got it! Now picture in your mind a radio. Okay got it?" Edward focused and nodded. "Yeah."
She grinned. "Good now, look at that radio there's a volume knob and a tuning knob right?" He nodded again.
"Okay now envision that your mind is the radio and the thoughts flooding your mind are radio stations turned up on blast. Got it?" He nodded and furrowed his eyebrows as he pictured it.
"Okay now I want you to 'tune' your station knob until you zero in on just one person's thoughts. I know it's going to be hard but try and do that. Focus on just one person…say Neisse. Yeah focus on Neisse's thoughts." She watched him scrunch up his face in focus and hoped that this worked.
Edward focused as hard as he could tune out the various thoughts of those around him and zeroed in on Neisse's thoughts. Once he was tuned in to her thoughts and hers alone he winced as they resounded in his head loudly and quickly without needing to ask Kagome for help turned down the volume on his mental radio. Once that was done he realized that he had turned it down so low that the only thoughts he could hear in his head were his own! His eyes flew open and he gazed at her in shocked stupor.
Kagome grinned hoping this was a good sign. "Did it work?" She gasped as she was quickly wrapped up in a bear hug and spun around the room giggling as he littered her face with kisses of gratitude.
"It worked! Kagome you're a genius!" She laughed more as he stopped spinning and held her to his chest and purred happily.
"I know I am!" His happiness was contagious and she found herself grinning like a fool. She grinned at the others as they milled into the room hearing the commotion they were making. She giggled as Edward nuzzled her head and kept repeating how awesome she was. She rolled her eyes as Emmet wolf whistled.
"Whoa Eddie boy put the little sister down and step away. Incest is not always best." Emmet winced as Rose smacked him hard across the back of his head.
Carlisle blinked and was about to ask the question that was on everyone's mind when Jasper's semi edged voice beat him to it. "What's going on here?"
Kagome blinked at the undertone of anger in Jaspers voice and lost a bit of her mirth. It wasn't that she didn't like Jasper, she did she really did it was just he always seemed on edge around her. As did Alice but at least Alice made it a point to avoid her and to be nice to her on the rare occasions that they did cross paths. She didn't know why but she got the feeling that Alice didn't know how to act around her and that was fine, not everyone had to instantly like her. From her experience it was the ones she had to work hard to get to like here that ended up being her closest friends.
Edward rolled his eyes at Jasper's tone, having picked up the whole story from his wandering mind, and gave him pointed look. "Clam down Jasper, I've got some great news!" He quickly filled his family in on what Kagome had been able to teach him how to do and instantly the two were enveloped in hugs from his ever ecstatic and grateful family.
"Finally! No more mind raping for you Eddie boy." Everyone laughed at Emmet's joke as they pulled away from the family hug and claimed their spots on the living room furniture. Esme and Carlisle claimed the small couch. Edward, Bella, and Neisse claimed the large couch. Rose and Emmet piled on one of the arm chairs with her resting in his lap. While Alice and Jasper sat on the loveseat. Kagome, who was usually passed around between the couples found herself sitting on the floor leaning against the love seat that Alice and Jasper were sitting on.
Carlisle smiled as she unconsciously sat near Jasper, he being the leader of their coven was given a rundown of everything by Jasper, though the boy was reluctant to do so he knew it had to be addressed, and while he was a Christian, ironic he knew, he honestly saw no problem with Jasper telling Kagome everything and then pursuing a relationship with both Alice and Kagome. Yet, Jasper was not only reluctant to do so, Alice was the most devout Christian of them all and was slightly sickened by his suggestion, he was also scared. What if it didn't work out? Not only was Alice discouraging of the idea because of her faith there was also the fact that both women could view it was a betrayal to them. He had promised to love Kagome forever and day, she was his wife yet he had taken Alice as his mate. At the same time he had promised Alice pretty much the same thing and that he would never leave her yet he still had feelings for his wife.
All in all he was more than willing to let Kagome be part of the family oblivious to their past relationship and how close she was to finding her missing husband. Over the past month and a half Kagome had easily opened up to them, mainly the females of the family, and admitted that she had spent the better half of her undead life looking for clues as to who and where her husband was once she learned she had one but had given up after years of dead ends an resigned herself to the fact that she would never find him again. It hurt her a lot but she reassured them that she would be fine because even if she didn't find him she didn't remember him so it would be awkward and in all honesty she was scared to find him. So she devoted herself to repenting for her sins and while she was not Christian she did a moral compass that was dictated by the Shinto religion to a point. In fact she had no real set religion anymore she believed in bits and pieces from other various religions and they didn't push that fact.
"Kagome, how did you learn such a technique?" Kagome looked down at her fingers and twiddled her thumbs at her 'fathers' question. While she had told them of most of her past there were bits and pieces she had yet to tell them for various reasons. Even so since he had placed his full trust in her she knew she would have to do the same.
"Well you see about seventy years ago I came across a small band of people in Japan that were sworn to protect the residents of Japan from things that went bump in the night. One of those four men was a man named Hiei. He's a demon of mixed heritage. In fact many refer to him as a forbidden child because his blood is a forbidden mix between an ice maiden and a fire demon. As such his powers are unstable and due to the fact the fire demons are known for their mental powers he inherited a very strong case of being able to read minds. Being a halfing he didn't have very good control so he came up with this method when he was younger with help from Youko. After a lot of poking and prodding among other things I finally got him to tell me how he did it."
Jasper was a bit curious by the amount of embarrassment that was rolling off of his Kagome yet said nothing because as always it was Emmet's big pervert mouth that opened first.
"Ohhh other things huh? What kinds of things? Hmmm? Sexual-ow! Rose!" He mock glared at his mate who had slapped him upside the head and pouted. "I was just joking we all know our little Kagome would never do something like that right Kagome?"
Kagome looked down at her hands but didn't say anything making Emmet gasp and practically leapt out of his chair to point a finger at her. "You didn't!" He sounded very much like a sandaled old gossip.
If Kagome could blush she would be bright red by now instead she resigned herself to the teasing that would follow her admission. "Er…well…it wasn't intended to be a bribe…I mean I was lonely and he was lonely and um, yeah…he believe it or not was very into pillow talk…." She epped as Emmet cracked up laughing and hid her face in her hands. "Shut up Emmet!"
All of them jumped when wave after wave of anger washed over the room and they all turned to see Jasper particularly snarling as his eyes bleed black. Kagome once again epped and backed up a bit, doing a bit of a crab walk, because his furious gaze was leveled at her and she didn't know why. Since she had been part of the family she had never felt the need to be wary of anyone not even Alice when she was in one of her rare dark moods yet as Jasper glared down at her she was a bit sacred at the same time she felt a stab of pain in her chest. As if by him glaring at her like that he was doing something much worse and she didn't know why she felt like that.
"Jasper you need to calm down now." It was Carlisle soothing yet authortive tenor that broke the uneasy silence that had fallen over the family. Neisse seeing the animosity in the room whimpered and curled into her mother's arms. Bella frowned not knowing what had caused the changed in Jasper but quickly decided that her child's welfare was more important and before any of them could blink she was out of the house and on her way to the small cottage that Esme had built for them. She knew the others would understand her worry and just hoped everything would turn out for the best.
Edward while apprehensive by the fact that his wife had fled taking their daughter with her was far more focused on Jaspers thoughts and they were not good. He was in a rage at finding out that his wife, his mate, had been with another man and he wanted nothing more then to punish her for it!
Edward glanced at his father conveying his worry for the smallest member of their family and glanced at Emmet who quickly positioned himself between the small woman and the enraged man. Rose was quickly kneeling next to Kagome and urging her to standup so they could make a hasty exit if the need arose.
Alice on the other hand was trying her best to whisper sweet clamming words in the ear of her mate in hopes of calming him down. Never had she ever seen him this enraged and to be honest it sacred her. She wasn't scared of him per say but what he would do and the ramifications of said actions. While she was wary of Kagome she was hard pressed not to like her, they were so alike that it was eerie, and while she tried her hardest to resist the other girls charms she had failed. She cared about Kagome's welfare to an extent and didn't want her getting hurt by Jasper in a fit of rage. Not only would it scare the poor young girl but Jasper would never forgive himself.
"Jasper dear calm down please you're scaring me." Jasper hissed lightly, trying to convey to his second mate that she had nothing to fear. His disdain was for his first mate for laying with another man yet it was quickly lost in translation which only severed to raise his ire. Never before had he been so enraged nor had he ever given into his more animistic side. He had always prided himself on his control and his ability to resist the call of his inner 'beast' so many others had given into their more basic instinct and were no better than wild animals. Yet here he was hissing and growling in the most basic of gruntal languages trying to get his fist mate to understand his displeasure.
While Kagome was slightly scared of the sudden animalistic rage that had taken over Jasper she was more then used to dealing with vampire males while they were in this state, Naraku loved to let go of his inhibitions and entered it many a time, so she knew what to do and more importantly she knew what his hisses, growls, and snarls meant and she was not happy. With each sound that left his throat her own ire and more animalistic side came rushing forth. Who was this male that dared to claim her as his while he was already mated? How dare he judge her for laying with a male when she knew for a fact he laid with his mate at least once a week?
Edward's eyes widened as he picked up on both Jaspers and Kagome's thoughts and he quickly hissed at his family to separate the two yet it was too late. Before any of them could Jasper had launched himself at Kagome with a deep growl, ignoring Alice's scream, and Kagome was already on the other side of the room in a low crouch her hisses issuing a challenge to the male that would dare try and claim her. She belonged to only one male and while she did not recall who he was or what he looked like he was the only one who had any claim to her. Yes, she had laid with another male but that was only to quell the loneliness in her heart not that Jasper had any say in what she did.
Carlisle hissed as he and his other family members tried to catch and restrain the two but it was a wasted effort. Everyone knew that when a vampire gave into their more basics of natures their speed and power was increased, it was almost like they were newborn's again. He grit his teeth, he should have known something like this was going to happen and while he didn't blame Kagome he did blame Jasper to an extent. He had made his stance on this whole situation clear. He thought it would be best if Jasper told Kagome of what had been between them, of what he meant to her and vice versa. Yes, things would have been strained afterwards and yeah feelings might have been hurt but at least it would have been out in the open they could have moved on from there but no. Jasper had stuck to his decision and kept it a secret and now the shit was hitting the fan.
"Esme be careful!" He hissed as Kagome bucked Esme off of her and launched at Jasper with a loud snarl. They collided with a sickening thud and with a loud crash they burst through the large window that over looked their drive ways and with loud hisses and growls took their 'lovers spat' to the woods. "Shit. Rose Emmet go inform the wolves about what's going on, tell them not to interfere if at all possible. Esme you stay here in case they come back. Edward, Alice you come with me, we have to follow them and make sure they don't do anything to drastic." He hissed in displeasure when he realized Alice was already gone, having run after her mate and her friend to an extent. The others quickly nodded, knowing that Carlisle only swore when he was stressed out to the max and did not want to ensure his wrath.
For the first time in years Alice was gripped by pure unadulterated fear as she ran after her mate and Kagome. While Jasper was never one who resorted to violence unless he could help it he was a skilled warrior, his skin attested to the many battles he had seen and survived. At the same time she knew Kagome could do some damage herself as they had witnessed when a rouge vampire tired to make a meal out of Neisse. Add in the fact that they were both enraged, drunk on blood lust, and hade given into their animalistic tendencies she knew she had to get to them before they tore into each other to much.
In all honesty she was kicking herself in the ass, she should have known Carlisle was right when he suggested that they get everything out in the open yet her own fears of losing her mate to his wife override her usual common sense and she regretted it. Yes, if they had done what Carlisle had said there was no doubt things would have been awkward and tense for a while but they could have been worked out. While she was a devout Christian, ironic she knew, she could accept the fact that Jasper loved both of them and while she would be a stickler about it she could admit to herself now, that the shit had hit the fan, sharing her mate with Kagome would have been bearable if it meant they could avoid what was happening now.
While she would not enjoy having a polygamist relationship with her mate and Kagome she now understood that it might be what was the best for everyone and depending on what the outcome of what this spat was, she was going to bring it up. She was a good girl, a kind and loving girl and she only wanted her mate to be happy and yes though she had resisted it at first Kagome had wormed her way into her heart and she did want the poor girl to be happy. She was just disgusted by the fact that things had to come down to this for her to realize it. While she could see the future at times she had never felt so useless as she did when she stumbled across her Jasper and her Kagome.
Jasper had Kagome, who was snarling and bucking against him, pinned to the ground and had a vice grip on her wrist which were pinned above her head. He was snarling in her face as she hissed and snarled back. While she herself was not in a feral state she, like most of her kind, had a basic knowledge their ancient langue and understood what was being snarled and hissed.
Jasper growled low in his throat and tightened his grip on her wrists making the skin crack like marble. How dare you lay with another man!
Kagome hissed back her voice an octave higher than normal.
It is not your concern! You have no say in what I do male.
Jasper snarled in her face flecks of spit landing on her face.
You are mine! My first mate! Mine!
Kagome snarled back.
I am not yours!
Jasper glowered as he freed one of his hands and brought it back to smack her across the face. Alice cried out and quickly appeared next to them Jaspers wrist caught mid swipe by her small shaking hand. "Jasper no! You need to calm down, both of you please!"
Jasper growled at her and glared darkly at her. "Let me go woman it is not your place!" His voice was low and dark with anger.
Alice shivered but did not relent. "No, I know you will regret this when you calm down and I love you too much to let you do this and I care about Kagome to much to let you hurt her."
Kagome hissed low in her throat and used Jaspers distraction to buck him off and was quickly on her feet in a low defensive crouch. While she was enraged by the male's claim on her she recognized the female and did not want to drag her into this. Yet she would defend herself if the female came at her. At the same time a small part of her wanted to submit to this male yet she would not, she could not. He was not her male, yet once again that small voice whispered to her that he was and she was confused by it so instead of thinking on it anymore she let her anger take over.
Jasper snarled as he pulled his hand away from his second mate and turned back to his first mate. He was quickly losing his patience with her, why wouldn't she just submit? She was his and she needed to know her place after he put her in it her would turn on his second mate. All the while he was thinking this a small but rational voice piped up. Kagome didn't know who he was so of course she would fight his claim. Alice only stepped in because she didn't want either of them to be hurt. Yet he squashed the voice down and let his baser instinct take over, it was the first time her had ever down so in his life and he was drunk off of the power.
Just as Kagome and Jasper were about to launch at each other again the others, plus the pack, entered the clearing and placed themselves between the two snarling vampires. Edward and Emmet quickly restrained Jasper while Rose and Carlisle restrained Kagome with some help from Paul. Even though they were restrained they were still hissing and snarling at each other.
Carlisle let out a low groan and barked out orders. "Get them away from each other! Once they are far apart enough they will start to calm down!" While the pack didn't like taking orders they also didn't like seeing two of their friends at each other's throats and quickly helped herd the two irate vampires in different directions.
Alice glanced between her mate and Kagome and quickly made a decision that would change everything and with dread in her heart as well as a firm decision she quickly stalked off after the direction Kagome had been dragged in.
Kagome hiss and snarled as she was restrained by her alpha and fellow pack mates. She struggled against their hold and ignored their soothing words and calm tones. She wanted to finish what she had started she want to make sure that male knew he had no clam to her what so ever. She belonged only to her husband, her mate nothim!
Yet the farther away she was dragged from the male the lower her rage raged. Slowly but surely the soothing words and calm tones of those that had her restrained started to make sense and she calmed. It was only after she was dragged to the beaches of first beach and forced to sit on the sandy ground of said beach that she started to fully control her anger and let her more human and rational mind take over.
"Kagome dear are you okay?" It was Billy's smooth voice that finally subdued her beast to go back to sleep and she paled as what she had done and said hit her. Oh God. With a horror stricken face she gazed at Billy's Knees' which we at eye level with her crumbled form. "What have I done?" Her voice was hoarse from all the hissing and snarling she had done in the past half hour.
Billy sighed and placed a calming hand on her shoulder while shooting Carlisle a look that said 'we've got it under control'. Carlisle nodded in thanks and quickly left to go check in on his son. Billy cleared his throat mentioning for those of the pack that had accompanied her to the beach to fall back. They gave him worried looks but he shook his head. They nodded in understanding and slunk away to prowl the nearby forest just encase she was set off again. "Kagome, are you okay?" He repeated his question knowing she hadn't heard it in the first place.
Kagome merely stared at the washed out blue demi of his jean her mind replaying what had happened again and again. She had lost it and in doing so she had not only endangered her family but had possibly hurt Esme, the only mother she had ever known. "Oh God…." Her horrified words only worried those that were nearby.
Rose furrowed her eyebrows and crouched down on Kagome's left. "Kagome?"
Kagome flinched at Rose's unnaturally calm and caring voice and shrink in on herself. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her head in them wrapping her arms around her head to block them out all the while chanting 'Oh God' again and again.
Billy frowned and glanced at Rose for help, while he had raised teenaged girls before he had no real idea what had happened. From what he had gathered Jasper and Kagome had given into their animalistic sides and were going at it. Emmet had shown up at a beach cook out shouting at the top of his lungs and they had quickly gone into action. Yet now that Kagome was calm he didn't know what to do.
Rose frowned and eased herself onto the sandy beach next to Kagome, frowning as her designer jeans were dirtied, and tried to pull the girl into a one armed hug. She frowned when Kagome pulled away and whimpered. "Kagome…"
Kagome shook her head and tired her best to ignore those around her; she was racked by guilt and confusion. Guilt for what she had done and confusion at Jaspers enraged and snarled words.
Alice frowned at the small pathetic sight Kagome made and felt her chest constrict in pain. She was partially to blame for this and she knew she had to make things right or at least try to, Kagome by now was an important part of their family and she did not want to lose her. "Rose, Billy, can you leave us alone for a bit?"
Both Rose and Billy blinked in confusion but nodded slowly. "Er Sure…?" Billy jumped lightly as Rose appeared behind him in the blink of an eye and started wheeling him easily through the sand towards the woods and the awaiting wolves.
Once Alice was sure they were out of hearing range she crouched down in front of Kagome and mirrored her position minus the hiding her face in her arms and waited for Kagome to acknowledge her all the while trying to figure out what she was going to say and how she was going to say it.
Kagome knew she as there yet didn't know what to say or do. She had pretty much endangered everyone in the family. Add in the fact that she had also attacked Alice's mate…she didn't know how to face her, so she just buried her head deeper in her arms.
Alice sighed as Kagome whimpered and she had no doubt that could they still cry that Kagome would be bawling her eyes out and felt even worse. So she tentatively reached her hand out and laid it on Kagome's arm. "Kagome…"
Kagome flinched away from her touch but did nothing more.
Alice sighed and tired again. "Kagome look at me please…"
Kagome bit her lip but mused it was the least she could do. Alice deserved to yell and scream at her before she was sent away from endangering the family and attacking her mate so with a heavy heart she looked up and met Alice's gaze. She flinched back from the amount of emotion in her gaze but said nothing.
In all her life Alice had never felt so horrid as she did when Kagome turned her broken blue eyes to look at her. Not even did she feel this bad when she had accidentally told Edward that Bella was dead. Because this time, she had a direct hand in hurting Kagome. She was so worried about what would happen to her should Kagome learn the truth about her relationship with Jasper, that she had let this happen. She had acted like a spoiled little girl not wanting to share her toy when in fact it had belonged to Kagome first. And yes, she had a right to feel that way, this was her mate, not a toy. She also had a responsibility to do what was right for everyone mainly her mate not sulk and pout until she got her way.
In doing so she had hurt everyone and more then that she had hurt her mate and Kagome, who by now was buried so deep in her heart that hurting her almost hurt as bad as hurting Jasper and that sacred her even more. She was a devout Christian such feelings were wrong! She was not supposed to feel those kinds of things for the same sex let alone even toss around the idea of a polygamy relationship. It was vile hence why she had been so reluctant to accept what needed to be done but honestly she was a vampire. She was already dammed to hell and from what she had witnessed today letting things get as far as they did was worse than going to hell. Her family was endangered. Her mate and Kagome were hurt beyond words so it was time that she woman upped and set things straight.
If their love was strong enough then it would get past this if not then it wasn't meant to be and as much as it pained her if Jasper and Kagome asked it of her she would step to the side but she would have her say first.
"Kagome I have something I need to tell you, I should have told you from the beginning but I didn't because I was afraid of what it would mean for me if it got out. I just want you to know what I did I did for love and while it was selfish if me to hide this from you I realize now it wasn't right…" With that she explained it all. That Jasper was the husband from her past and that she had known all about it and because of her worries and fears Jasper had held it in and resigned himself to being her friends yet it was obvious that he still loved her by the rage he had slipped into when he learned o f her laying with another male.
Kagome was feeling so many emotions that she was sure if her heart still beat it would have stopped due the rapid pace it would have been beating at. She was pissed, hurt, angry, felt betrayed, confused and lost. All theses emotions circled around in her head and pounded against it to the point where it was painful and her head felt like it was going to burst. She whimpered, putting her aching head in her hands and before she knew what was going on, it felt like a damn had burst. Instantly her mind was overrun with memories and emotions of her past, when she was human and when she was married to the love of her life.
Alice watched with worried eyes as Kagome held her head in pain and wanted nothing more then to comfort the small looking young woman but knew it was not her place. She was mentally trying to prepare herself for anything. It was well within Kagome's right to lash out at her, to hate her, and then some. While the thought of Kagome hating her upset her she knew it was what she deserved, her own fears and paranoia had brought this on herself.
Once the 'dust head settled' in her mind Kagome felt as if she was finally waking up after a very long dream and took a deep breath to steady herself. She quickly ran over her memories both old and new got a grasp on what was going on and what had led up to this point. While she was more than pissed off at Alice she could understand her fear all the same. She was afraid of losing Jasper, her mate and her lover. Yet that did not excuse her actions, while she could admit to herself she would probably feel and do the same thing. She would have come to her sense and come clean. Yet Alice was not her and she was not Alice. Everyone deal with things differently she knew that, yet she still felt jaded by so many things.
Jasper had give up on her and moved on. He had replaced her with Alice and even after he had found her he had chosen Alice over her. While she knew it was only fair because she herself had given up on finding him she had no memories or clues of him let alone to help her find him. He did remember and he still didn't do what, in her mind, was right. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and tired to make sense of her feelings and thoughts. While she was pissed and jaded by what Jasper and Alice had done she had to give props to Alice for coming clean and taking reasonability and deep down she knew she would be cross with the fairy like woman for a while but she would forgive her. She was only doing what she thought was right.
Jasper was a whole different story, while deep down she still loved him and always would, she was pissed off beyond belief. He had hurt not only her but Alice and while it was unintentional he still should have had the balls to put everything out in the open. Yes, she understood he was probably sacred of hurting her and Alice but by hiding the truth and letting things escalate to the stated they were now hurt far more then it would have if they had all just sat down and hashed it out.
She was more then irate at his lack of assertiveness in this matter and waned to smack his so hard across his face that he would feel it for hundreds of years to come. At the same time she wanted to hug him and never let him go. So with a tired sigh she looked up and met Alice's worried gaze. "Where do we go from here?"
Alice chewed her lips between her teeth and mulled over the question it had so many meanings that she didn't know how to answer. It could mean 'Who stays with him?' or 'Who has to leave?' or 'Who will forgive who first.' So many meanings yet she knew what she wanted to say and she knew she had to say it so they could work form there.
"I…don't know. Funny, I know, since I usually have a preview into the future. I can honestly say that I love Jasper and I want him to be happy and its obvious he won't be happy unless you're in his life. At the same time I care for you Kagome, to what extent I am not sure but I know I want you to be happy as well and it's obvious you can't be happy without him. At the same time I can't picture my life with him, I just can't. So…as odd as it sounds coming from me I would be willing to put aside everything that has happened up until now and try to make things work. That could mean we share him equally divide up his time between the two of us or it could mean all three of us being in a polygamist relationship. So long as were all happy is all that matters to me as of right now. So, I've said my piece and I know you and Jasper have a lot to talk about so I will leave the decision up to you two."
Kagome quietly went over what Alice had said and though she was begrudgingly to admit it her words were true. Even though she wanted to slap Jasper into next week and she was pissed at Alice to an extent she was a forgiving being, it was her nature and she knew that if given time she would and could forgive the two of them for this. She also knew that she was a loyal and loving person, she had pledged her love to Jasper and she would never stop loving him. At the same time she knew there would be many bumps in the road if they did try to share Jasper. Yet she also knew that for Alice, the most devout Christian vampire she knew, to suggest a polygamist relationship was a big thing for her. She truly loved Jasper, and cared for her enough, that she wanted them to be happy even if it meant compromising her morals so with an internal sigh she knew she would most likely agree to Alice's suggestion but first she needed to talk with Jasper first and see where he stood.
She also wanted to give him a good piece of her mind and while she was a forgiving person she was also one that spoke her mind. Once she hashed things out with Jasper and had a better understanding of what his position on things were she would go from there. So with a small sigh she glanced at Alice.
"I understand how hard it was for you to come to this decision and while I understand why you did what you did I want you to know I am hurt and a bit pissed off at the moment. I'm sure you can understand why and while I know I will forgive you eventually I need to speak with Jasper and figure out where I stand with him and then we can go from there. I hope that is understandable?"
Alice nodded. "Of course. I could ask for nothing more, that being said I'm sure Jasper is calm enough that the two of you can talk."
Kagome nodded and stood up; Alice stood up as well, and gazed out over the vast ocean. Once she had her thoughts in order she turned to Alice and offered her a small strained smile. "I will go speak to him now, once we have hashed things out I would like for you to join us so we can come to a mutual understanding if the need arises."
Alice nodded. "Of course…" She trailed off not really knowing what else to say.
Kagome merely gave her a small nod before speeding off towards where she felt her Jasper was. Once she found him she was not surprised by the position she found him in. He was sitting at the base of the semi trashed stairs of the house leading up to the second floor with hid head hung between his knees. She mentally wined as she surveyed the damage they had caused and felt bad. At the flicker of her aura Jasper looked up but quickly looked back down in shame.
Already she could feel her anger ebbing by seeing the man she loved in such a state but she pushed that aside and pulled on her anger, she would not let her forgiving nature get in the way of what had to be done and said. So with a glance at those in the room, silently asking them to give them some privacy, she turned her attention to her husband. Once those in the room were gone, Emmet having given her a pat on the shoulder on his way out, she sat down on the stairs next to him and stared at the broken glass that littered the floor.
As would be expected there was an awkward silence that sat between them and neither wanted to break it but it had to be done. Jasper could feel her emotions swirling around her, anger, hurt, sadness, betrayal, relief, love. All of them were bouncing around her and he noticed with a wince that she was layering herself in her anger and hurt.
"I'm sorry." His words were whispered but seemed to echo in the empty room.
Kagome accepted his words ad mulled over them. That statement could refer to so many things. Was she sorry he moved on? That he replaced her? That he attacked her? That he lied to her? That he kept the truth from her? The more she thought about all the ways it could be an apology to her the more her ire was raised.
"For what? Replacing me? Attacking me? Lying to me?"While she hadn't planed to let her anger get the better of her she wouldn't be herself if she didn't. She was an emotional being and often when caught up in her anger said and did things that she would regret but they were things that she would not have the balls to say otherwise.
Jasper winced at her sharp tone but knew he deserved it. None the less her growing anger upset him so he tired to ebb it if only a bit. She rebuffed his attempts and hissed lightly at him.
"Don't you dare." He nodded but didn't speak. They feel back into the awkward silence that had been between them the moment before.
Kagome stewed in her anger and decided that it would be best if she got it off her chest before she let herself get worked back into a feral state. She never wanted to be pushed to that state again least of by her Jasper.
"I'm so hurt, angry and confused right now it's not even funny Jasper. I'm more hurt by the fact that you lied and hid the truth from me then I am that you took another mate…" Her shoulders slumped lightly.
Jasper perked up at that, it meant that she knew the truth. "So ya know." It was a statement not a question.
"Yes, I also remember and that makes it worse. While I understand that you thought I was lost to you and that it was only natural that you would move on I am so hurt and pissed that even after finding me again you kept the truth from me. I had an excuse. I didn't remember, you did, and you chose not to tell me."
Jasper hung his head but did not even bother trying to defend himself because she was right. He chose not to tell her but he had his reasons for doing so and he would explain them. While he knew it didn't excuse what he did he hoped that if she heard them she would understand.
"I didn't want ta, I really didn't but ya didn't remember and I had a new life, a new mate and she was sacred that if ya found out the truth that it would complicated things. I didn't want ta hurt either of you, I love ya both too much….to cause yall both that much pain when instead I could 'ave just let things be. We still woulda been together just not in a romantic sense and I was fine with that…so long as yall were both happy I was resigned to being just your friend."
Kagome growled lightly. "You had no right tot make such a decision by yourself. You try and justify it by saying you wanted to keep us from getting hurt? Well guess what we're all hurting right now. Our fight could have torn this family apart all because you were jealous that I laid with another man once and just so that I could stop feeling so alone! Do you know what it was like for me? Knowing I had a life, that I had a husband once upon a time yet didn't know who he was or what he looked like? Do you know what it's like to have to be told by strangers that I was happy once upon a time? Let alone that if I remember you and found you that we could be together forever because we were turned at the same time? Do you?" While she hadn't meant to get so worked up she couldn't help it, this was years of feelings all coming to the front at once.
Jasper shook his head and wrapped his aura around Kagome's trying to take part of her anger and hurt. He knew her words were true and it made him feel like crap. He thought that by letting things stay the way there were, that if she was blissfully unaware that she would be happy but it had only made things worse and he had no idea if he could fix this. He knew her inside and out and while she was a forgiving person by nature this was a betrayal on a whole different level. He had hurt her in a way that he never should have, he wronged her and it would be well within her rights to never forgive him and her was ready to accept that.
"I'm so sorry Kagome. I was sacred I didn't know what ta do I didn't want to hurt either of yall and I did anyways. I know I should have told ya and I regret that I didn't but I can't change the past anymore then you can and while I know it's well within yur rights to hate me and never want to see my face again I want ya to know I never stopped loving ya nor will I ever stop loving ya. But at the same time I love Alice and I will never stop loving her either. I know that I may have very well lost both of yall due to my fears and that I have no one to blame but myself for this. It's just I…I..I'm so sorry."
Kagome sighed, his confession and his aura ebbing away her anger and hurt. She already knew she would forgive him, it wouldn't be right away but she would. She loved him too much to let this get in the way of her feelings.
"Look, you know me and I know you. I will eventually forgive you, I love you too much to not to. But it's not going to be easy not by a long shot and I want you to understand that things will not go back to the way they were before. It's not just us anymore there's Alice and the rest of the family we have to take in to consideration. While I cannot speak for her nor the, I want you to know I am willing to compromise on whatever it takes for this to work out but there is one thing I will not budge on. You will never lie to me or withhold the truth form me again or so help me God I will walk away from you and never look back do you understand me?"
Jasper nodded hope fluttering in his chest. He was no fool he knew this was going to take a lot of time and work to figure out and that was assuming Alice still wanted anything to do with him yet he clung to that small fragile hope. "Of course I give ya my word as a man and as your husband that I will never lie to ya or withhold the truth from ya ever again."
Kagome nodded, good. Now that that part was out of the way it was time to bring Alice into the conversation so they could work on trying to figure out where to go from here. While she knew the easiest thing to do would be to try and share Jasper equal and divided up his time she knew herself far to well. It wouldn't work, she was a jealous woman to an extent and while Jasper was alone with Alice her jealous would spike. She also knew a polygamist relationship wouldn't be much easier but it would be easier because they would all be on the same footing plus there was a change that if given time she could learn to love Alice just as much as she loved Jasper which would make things all that much easier. Yet it all came down to what Alice and Jasper wanted.
While Alice had said she would give polygamy a try she knew it was going to be hard on the other young woman but if Jasper was there to help and offer her his support she knew it could be done. But first things first they needed to get Alice in on the conversation. Once again the old saying came true ;speak of the devil and he shall appear'. No sooner had Kagome thought about sending for Alice did she walk in thought the broken window with a nervous yet sheepish smile. "Edward gave me a heads up.." Once the whispered words left her mouth the only other sound in the room was the crunch of glass under her pixie like feet as she walked over to sit between Japer and Kagome on the stairs and looked at her hands.
Alice didn't know what to say or do nor did she know what had been said and done so she really was just waiting for one of them to give her a hint.
Kagome sighed knowing it was going to be up to her to start things out. Jasper was to riddled with guilt and Alice was to nervous. "I'm sure by now the both of you know I am a forgiving person, that being said I will eventually forgive you both but it will take time. Time to not only forgive you guys, but to rebuild the trust that I once had in you two. I want you both to know right here and now that if you ever lie to me or withhold the truth from me ever again I will walk away and never look back. Am I understood?"
Both of them nodded like small children being scolded. "Good, now I don't know how this is going to work. I know you, Alice, have expressed your views on this subject. While I know sharing Jasper and dividing his time equally between the two of us would be the easiest route I know myself. It won't work, I am a jealous woman to an extent and while Jasper and you are alone my jealousy would spike. I don't want that to happen because it will only cause more problems."
Alice nodded and decided to speak up. "I am the same, I would go stir crazy while you and Jasper are alone."
Kagome nodded. "So it obvious that that option is out which only leaves one other and while I know it will be hard for you Alice I want you to know that I will try my best to make it as easy for you as I can. Even then I know polygamy will be hard for you to accept but it's my hope that over time I will come to care for you as much as I do for Jasper and vice versa. It that is too much for you then I understand just so long as on my end I can come to terms with everything and not get jealous I will be fine."
Alice nodded. "I understand and I know it will be hard for me but I will try my hardest, as well, to make things run smoothly. As of right now I can say with confidence that I care about you to an extent and I'm with time those feelings will lonely grow. I just ask that you both be patient with me."
Kagome nodded and turned to look at Jasper, who up until now had been quiet. "What is your take on all of this Jasper? Would you be willing to give this a try?"
Jasper looked in awe at the two women who held his heart and if it still beat it would be pumping so vigorously that it would have given out. Here he had both of the women that he loved willing to make sacrifices and compromises to be with him when he had done nothing but hurt the, be it unintentionally or not, he felt no he knew he didn't deserve them yet he would be a fool to let that stop him from having them. "I would be more then wiling; I want ya both to know that I love yall and am a fool that doesn't deserve yall."
Both Kagome and Alice shared a small smile and nodded. "We know. But it's okay we love you and that's all that matters just know that you are in the dog house and will be for a long time. Don't expect things to just magically happen it's going to take time a lot of time but in the end it will be worth it."
Jasper smiled. "Well then darlin's it's a good thing we have all the time in the world."
Kagome and Alice snickered yet it was Kagome that ruined the mood completely. "That was so corny, it's good to know you still have the same sense of humor dear."