This fanfiction is a Phineas and Ferb story. I do not own any of the characters, I just write about them. I will also have you know that this is a Doofenshmirtz and Perry FRENEMY story. It is not meant to be slash! Also, there are a lot of chapters and more than 1 character point of view. Enjoy!
Perry's POV
"I know what we're going to do today Ferb!"
That was all I really caught before the boys ran out of their room and downstairs for breakfast. I figured whatever they were doing today would be amazing as always, but today I was way too exhausted to care. I was lying lazily at the end of Phineas's bed, wishing I could get more sleep. But with my luck as soon as I closed my eyes my little wrist watch alarm would go off, signaling me to report to my boss for my latest mission. Being an agent had its upsides, but sleeping in definitely wasn't one of them. I laid my head down on my paws anyway, waiting for the feeling of unconsciousness to wash over me, and was just about to shut my eyes and drift off…
Bee-beep.
Bee-beep.
Bee-beep.
Dang it. Right on schedule. I lifted a small patch of my fur to reveal the face of Major Monogram on the little monitor of my wrist watch. I silently hoped that my boss was just calling to say that Doofenshmirtz got hit by a bus and couldn't be doing anything evil today. Or my nemesis had given up evil once and for all. Or I was being reassigned to some other evil scientist that didn't have annoying monologues…and hopefully didn't sing. Any of the above would work, as long as I could have an easy day today. I could usually stand my nemesis, but I was really too exhausted to put up with him today…
"Ah, good morning Agent P!" my boss greeted me.
I just gave him a groggy exhausted stare. As if I could say 'good morning' back anyways…
"I just wanted to inform you that instead of going to your base today we want you to go directly to the O.W.C.A. HQ. 'HQ' is an abbreviation for head quarters by the way. Doesn't it sound much cooler than just 'head quarters'?"
Really? HQ stands for head quarters? Fascinating. Can I go back to bed now?
"Right, anyway, we're having a big meeting today. So meet us at the HQ. I just love saying that! HQ! HQ, HQ, HQ…" Monogram continued.
I shut off the wrist watch before my boss could finish. Good. A meeting. I guess that classifies as an easy day, as long as it's long and dreary enough to bore me back to sleep. I unwillingly slumped out of Phineas's soft, warm, comfortable bed (WHY?) and trudged lazily out of the room and downstairs. I trudged outside of the Flynn-Fletcher house and into the backyard. I knew I could have just as easily used one of my indoor secret passages, since I wouldn't have to sneak past Phineas and Ferb, but I liked being sneaky. I didn't get that much excitement foiling Doof's schemes anymore, so I needed to feel like a stealthy quick-witted secret agent somehow. As soon as Phineas and Ferb looked away for just a split second, I tapped twice on a secret spot in the ground, which opened up into a tunnel. It always amazed me how I knew where every secret entrance to my base was. I leaped up onto my hind legs and whipped on my signature fedora, sliding down the chute and into my secret underground base. Once there, I grabbed the nearest jet pack and flew back out, taking the escape hatch that lead through the chimney of the Flynn-Fletcher house. As soon as I was a few yards away from the house, I couldn't help smirking when I heard Phineas say "Hey, where's Perry?" right on schedule.
***
Once I got to my agency's secret head quarters, (which was underground somewhere under Danville, just like my base) I landed my jetpack and walked inside the O.W.C.A. There was a large circular table with all the agents sitting around it. And when I say all the agents, I mean all the agents. Every secret agent I ever knew, even Wanda's division was there. This must have been a really important meeting for all the agency's divisions to be there at the same time. That rarely ever happened.
As I was searching for a seat, I couldn't help smiling when I glanced around at all the other agents' hats, which were slightly different than mine (light brown with a dark brown stripe, rather than dark brown with a black stripe.) It signaled that they were lower ranked agents then me, which made me feel superior. I don't like bragging, but I loved being Monogram's best agent.
I glanced over and spotted Isabella's dog, Pinky. He had the same kind of hat as me, since he was the best agent of his division. I really liked Pinky. He was one of the few agents I really could talk to. Luckily, I found an empty spot next to him, and sat down.
"Hi Perry!" the little shaking Chihuahua said eagerly.
"Hi Pinky." I said, but I had a lot less enthusiasm in my voice.
"Why the long face?" Pinky asked. "Aren't you excited for the meeting? It must be pretty big for all the agents to be here, huh?"
"Eh, not really." I admitted. "I'm just not really into it today."
"Who knows, maybe Major Monogram is just going to give us all a vacation! And that's why they called us all down here!" Pinky said. Pinky's tail was wagging like crazy, and he was shaking with excitement as usual. Why was Pinky so worked up for a stupid meeting? I guess it's just a dog thing.
"Yeah, I wish." I said sarcastically, chuckling to myself half-heartedly.
Major Monogram called all the agents to attention. The animals settled down, and turned to the head of the table where the Major sat. He cleared his throat and readied himself to start droning on with some big pointless speech. I yawned. Nap time.
"I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today," he started. "Well I'm here to discuss the most important mission any of you will ever face in your lives."
Pinky leaned forward in anticipation. I just slumped over in my chair and yawned again. This didn't sound anything like it would be an easy day. Putting up with Doofenshmirtz sounded easier than some big important mission.
"It occurred to me the other day that this organization was established to stop evil." Monogram continued. "And we send you agents off to stop evil every day. But every day you each fight the same nemesis, and never even come to bring them to authorities or anything. There are much more evil forces in the world outside of your individual enemies. But we have limited agents, so we can't fight all the evil in the world at the same time."
I had no idea what Monogram was rambling on about, or where he was going with all this, but it didn't sound very interesting to me. All the other agents seemed pretty excited though.
"That is why I have come to the conclusion that instead of fighting the same person over and over again every day, you agents need to move on to bigger causes." Major Monogram said.
Bigger causes? This was starting to sound like the time I got reassigned to The Regurgitator. What was Monogram going to do? Make me switch my nemesis again? Well I guess I didn't blame him for that. He was using me, his highest ranked, most heavily skilled agent against Doofenshmirtz, one of the lowest threat villains in the entire Tri-State Area.
"So I've decided that if each and every one of you moves on from your regular nemesis, then we can help stop a lot more evil through out the world! Or at least Danville…" Monogram announced.
"Is he saying that we're all getting new enemies to fight?" I whispered to Pinky, a little hopeful that he wasn't. I truthfully didn't want a new nemesis. I actually kind of liked fighting Doofenshmirtz.
"I think so." Pinky said. "I really hope so, then I'll never have to put up with that uptight selfish retard Professor PoofenPlotz again!"
"Good. I'll never have to put up with my annoying, stupid, imbecile of a nemesis ever again!" I said, trying to sound thrilled. I really didn't mean that, I just didn't want to sound like a wimp in front of Pinky. He'd probably laugh at me if he knew that I actually sort of liked my nemesis.
A lot of the animals were whispering to each other, so Major Monogram had to get them all to settle down again. "Yes, I'm saying what you think I'm saying." Monogram continued. "Everyone must destroy their nemesis!"