1 Hour To Myself

It had been a week since Kurt's soft, gentle lips had touched my cheek. But I still rubbed the spot as if it had happened seconds ago. It felt so soft and warm compared to the rest of me. It was like Kurt's kisses were magic. They were turning the frog back into the prince he used to be. It's gonna take a hell of a lot a kisses to fix you, ya big lovesick dope, I teased myself.

I was home alone for the night. At least one Friday was reserved each month as a date night for Mom and Dad so they could keep the burning passion of their relationship alive in ways which (at their age) what went on in the bedroom could not. I was alone in my room, lying on my own bed, just stroking my cheek where the kiss had been. All of a sudden, my head shot up at the sound of an IM request popping into my inbox. I rushed over to the computer, nearly getting tangled up in my sheets, and checked to see who was online. 1 chat request. From: Kurt Elizabeth Hummel (Fancy).

Those 7 words were the only things that had kept me sane throughout the past week.

I quickly accepted, anticipating a new message to pop up at any moment. He always wrote his message first. It was like he was telling me that he wanted to be engaged in the conversation, like he wanted to tell me something or that he wanted to listen. Like he wanted to be there for me, and vice versa. It was my security blanket with him.

Fancy: Hi Dave. How was your day?

He always asked that. And to be honest, besides Mr. Schuester, he was the only one I knew who wanted to know the answer.

The Fury: Suckish as usually. What about yours?

Fancy: Finn drove me and all my stuff home today. So I'm tired, but I'm really excited to be at McKinley on Monday!

The Fury: Well I'm excited too... ;)

Fancy: Dave, stop being so flirty! :)

He couldn't stand it when I said things like that, especially when I added the wink at the end. I laughed, twisting around in my chair, getting a sugar rush from just thinking about how cute he looked when he was all giggly and embarrassed.

Fancy: Have you talked to Azimio or Strando yet?

I sighed. Don't ask me that dammit! I'm not in the mood! Is what I wanted to write, but I couldn't snap at him like that, not after how well the past week had been. Or at least with Kurt. I couldn't say the same thing about how it had gone with my friends.

I could easily remember Monday. I was in an awful mood. Mostly because it was Monday and that just entails feeling sluggish and irritated. It's kind of like the PMS-y bitch of all of the days of the week. But I was also worried. Worried that someone could tell where I had been, or what I had said, or who I had seen. Like there was someone who could now see past the facade of dumb-jock puck-head bully, and they saw the really scared, worried me on the inside. So instead of putting on an even thicker mask, which I knew at this point would do nothing good, I just ignored it. I let everyone and everything slip my mind and I just walked like a mindless zombie through the entire school day.

Tuesday was different though. On Tuesday, Azimio tried to talk to me.

"Hey man, what's up?" He asked nonchalantly as I grabbed a lunch tray and started filling it up with fruits and vegetables (I knew full well that going to the gym wasn't the only thing I could do to turn into a total hunk). I just grunted, and started walking away, but he was persistent. More so than usual.

Maybe he knows more than I think he does, I thought with a shiver as he grabbed my shoulder, turning me around to face him.

"What the hell is goin' on?" He started, "You been actin' all whacked-out lately. Is somethin' up witchu man? Or is it just me?"

I sighed in annoyance, "Nothing's up, dude. Okay? Just leave me the fuck alone!" I stormed off across the lunchroom, taking my tray with me outside to the football field and plopping my ass down on the cold, damp bleachers. I had sat there for the rest of the school day, not even touching my food. And before I could stop it, I was crying too. Tears slipped silently down my cheeks, and I realized with all of the pressure I was bound to slip up soon. Someone was going to find it. But they couldn't. I wasn't ready...

When practice started and guys began to flood the field, I finally got my ass up off that bench and threw my entire tray into the trash. Then I drove home in silence. No radio, no chatting with my friends via bluetooth. Just a perfect, haunting quiet.

The rest of the week had resembled Monday, where Strando and Azimio left me alone. But when we passed in the hall, they gave me this look like they knew something was up, like they were on to something and wanted answers.

It scared the shit out of me.

I sigh, rubbing my forehead in frustration.

The Fury: No, I haven't. I'm waiting until I know what I want to say.

Fancy: Well, I guess that's alright. But when I come on Monday...

The Fury: You're gonna COME on Monday? ;)

Fancy: DAVE! You perv!

I burst out in laughter. Kurt was just so adorable when he was angry, even when it was only expressed to me through typed letters. Because I knew that somewhere out there, Kurt was staring at his computer screen with his arms crossed, his cheeks red, and the cutest little pout on his face.

Fancy: As I was saying, when I arrive, wait, no, RETURN to Mckinley on Monday, we're gonna start working out how you are going to talk to them. Okay?

The Fury: Fine.

Fancy: Bye Dave! See you on Monday!

The Fury: See ya, Kurt!

Kurt Elizabeth Hummel has signed out.

I swooned in delight as I waltzed across my room and plopped down on to my bed. Kurt was so romantic and cute and adorable and dreamy. I just couldn't get enough of him! And what's worse was I got all embarrassed whenever I thought about him 'cuz I would get all girly and infatuated. But it was no use ignoring it. I was madly in love with Kurt, and now that I was becoming more open (at least to myself) about my sexuality, it was easier to understand that love was the feeling infecting me.

I sighed for about the billionth time that night as I lied on my back, staring longingly at my ceiling. I reached over to my bedside table and turned on my mini-planetarium, letting the night sky flood my bedroom. Using the little star machine always helped me to imagine one of my favorite fantasies: the first time Kurt and I make love to each other. I closed my eyes slowly as it started to come back to me.

It's a perfectly clear night. The Titans have just won an important game and Kurt had been along the sidelines, cheering for me in his tight little Cheerios uniform. Or maybe he was playing as kicker again. That would be just as hot. So anyways, after the game, Kurt gets in my truck and we follow all of the other guys up to this really sunny field and then drive up to this cliff that's like a little make-out point for teens, just like in the movies. Then Kurt and I get out and I lay a beach towel down on the grass. We just lie there for what feels like hours, talking about things, gazing up at the beautiful crescent moon and all the sparkling stars. All the other guys are around us with their girlfriends, but they don't mind me and Kurt being there. Then, Kurt and I both lean in and kiss each other passionately on the lips. Kurt smiles, but then holds his arms and shivers as the breeze gets a little too strong. I shrug off my letterman and put it on to his shoulders, pulling him closer. He seems so small in the giant jacket, and I laugh a little at how cute he looks all bundled up in it. We snuggle for a while, and when all the guys finally leave, we make love to each other under the stars. In the morning, I wake up to find Kurt wearing nothing -except my jacket. I smile warmly at him, then pick him up and carry him bridal style to the truck, buckling him into the passenger seat and beginning the slow drive back down to Lima.

I had always told myself that's exactly how it would go. And I was positive that soon it would be even more of a possibility. During the past week, Kurt had been very nice to me. Sending kind emails and asking me how school was. He was just so kind. He cared about me in a way no one had ever cared before. And I cared about him back. It was only a matter of time before two and two came together and a relationship was born. I took a hand and used it to fan my red-hot cheeks. Just thinking about being with him is getting me excited. To calm myself, I let a different fantasy waft through my head, transporting me to a slightly later time in life.

Kurt and I are in college together, in New York City, or maybe San Francisco. Just somewhere big with lots of people and lots of places and a lot more tolerance than Lima, Ohio. Anyways, we are in college together, and we are dating, and we share an apartment together. On one special night (the anniversary of us starting to date, hopefully back in high school), I take him out to his favorite restaurant and then we take a trolley ride (San Francisco only, we'll take a taxi if it's New York) back to our apartment. But instead of getting off at our place, I take him down by the water and we just stare at it. And we talk about how back in Lima we couldn't see the ocean and how beautiful it is (I assume it's nice). And that's when I get down on one knee. I tell him how I don't need things like the ocean or the city or the nice restaurants as long as I have him by my side forever. Then I pull out the box and open it, revealing a diamond engagement ring. "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, will you marry me?" And (hopefully) he says yes and leaps into my arms and we embrace each other for what feels like a thousand years. Then we go back to the apartment and get naked, but we don't make love to each other. We just cuddle in bed and fall fast asleep in each other's arms, now engaged and soon-to-be-married-somehow (hopefully by then gay marriage will be legal in California, where a lot of gays happen to live, and then we can get married right then and there, or in New York, I guess. I keep on forgetting that I mentioned two different cities).

I sighed longingly once more. How could I possibly be more in love? I asked myself, continuing to gaze up at the fake stars projected onto my ceiling. I tried searching for constellations. Not real ones, but ones from my own imagination. Symbols that mattered to me and my life. And then I found the perfect one. I traced the dots with my fingers until the stars formed the shape of a little child wrapped in a blanket. And after that, my brain went awry once more with the furthest fantasy yet.

Kurt and I are married and have a townhouse in San Francisco (finally, I decided I liked California better). One day, I wake up and find Kurt making a phone call in the kitchen. He reminds me of a talk we had a few months ago where we considered adopting a child, and is proud to announce that we are going to visit an orphanage that day. We get dressed and drive down the curvy, steep roads until we reach a little brown church with a white steeple and a big bell inside it. I get a little nervous, but then I see a sticker on the door. The stickers says: Safe Space for the LGBT community. I smile at it. In my image of the future, some churches teach tolerance and love, unlike the ones I was raised in. Anyways, we go inside and are lead by a nun to a room full of children. All the children rush up to meet us, except for one. A little red-headed boy sits alone in a corner. At first, he tries to crawl our way, but stops when he sees the mob of kids. Kurt starts to play around with the children at our feet, but I walk towards the lonely little boy and ask him his name. He acts shy at first, but eventually tells me that his name is Marc with a 'c'. Kurt notices and asks the nun what is wrong with him. The nun says that as a baby, his parents abandoned him, and before the church found him, he was infected with polio for a short time. It didn't hurt him too much but he was already five and still couldn't walk very far. The nun also mentions how loving and affectionate he is, even when the other kids bully him. Kurt and I ask why, and she explains that she isn't sure, but that Marc has talked about how he feels towards other boys and she suspects that he is gay. Kurt and I immediately love him and take him home the next day. Years later, we are living happily ever after with Marc and he is starting to walk all by himself! And even later in life, we start to hear how he is being bullied at school, and support him to be himself. Finally, when Marc is 16, he comes home with his very first boyfriend! Kurt and I are protective, but let them have fun together. And as we see Marc and his boyfriend smiling together, we know we've been good parents.

My grin brightened as my fantasy ended. Adopting a gay boy or girl and helping them come to terms with who they were had been a dream of mine ever since I started coming to terms with myself. And I knew if I tried hard enough I could make that dream come true without Kurt. But still... it would be nice to live with him, I thought, smirking. Just then, I was snapped out of my trance by a buzzing on my dresser. I switched on a light, turned off the sky projection, and snatched my phone off of the bureau.

New message. From: Scott Cooper.

I groaned, not so eager to see what McKinley High's most dedicated bully had to say at around 8PM on a Friday night, but I opened the text anyway.

Just spotted a couple fags at the mall. Yelled at em' real good. U wanna come hang w/ us?

I cringed, setting the phone back down and not bothering to respond. I sat down on the edge of my bed, thinking. Hard. What's the point of all of these fantasies? I asked, The only thing that's gonna happen to me when I come out is what's happening to those guys down at the mall right now. Bullying. Harassment. Hate crimes. Or worse: gay bashing. I lied back down onto my bed, this time without the planetarium, and tried to get some sleep. But my thoughts would not rest.

Was coming out really such a good idea?

Hey everybody! So, there you go! The first chapter of the sequel to Cloud 9: 7 Minutes In Heaven. First of all: just so you know, I love New York City. It's my favorite city ever. But I just thought Dave might like California better. Also, I'm sorry that Dave's fantasies aren't the most eloquent. But I thought it would be more "Dave" if they sounded like they did. Also they are in a different tense than the rest of the story because they are Dave's thoughts, thus the need for italics. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. Chapter Two will come eventually, but this story is longer than Cloud 9, so it might take a while.

~ Sea Pig

P.S. Review + Favorite + Alert = LOVE

P.P.S. All of those comments about the city and the ocean in fantasy #2 are Dave's opinions. The ocean is nice, and I've seen it before. Definitely, considering I live on an island. ;P