I will make him flesh again, he will be whole, not a spectre anymore! I pour everything I can into the kiss and he moans in response. His hand tangles in my hair and I hum contentedly. The hours that I spent with him when he was delirious with fever frightened me. I had never seen or heard him so adrift, while I knew that he was strong and would combat the fever it was forlorn voice that frightened me the most. I thought I had let him down gently at Thirsk I had no idea that I had eviscerated him with my words. That it would change him into a spectre, a shadow of his former self. That he would believe that he was a ghost. I wept when I heard that for I hadn't noticed and I pride myself on noticing things. I found that damned paper knife but I didn't see this. Perhaps I did on some level but thought since he was a doctor he could heal himself? I let my hands caress his cheek in a form of apology. I then bring them down over his neck and down to his chest. I can feel his heart hammering, knowing it is pumping blood, restoring him slowly to flesh.
His eyes show his desire, only thin rings of blue are visible, and it makes me feel powerful. I move away from him only to tear at my clothes. He is already nude underneath the bedclothes and I wish to join him. His hands move to help but I shake my head in the negative. I want him to watch.
My jacket had been abandoned when I had climbed in next to him to keep vigil. I now attack the buttons on my blouse and throw it behind me. I then shamelessly wiggle out of my skirt. Undergarments are shucked off and thrown as well. He is still but his rapid rate of his breathing lets me know he is enjoying it. I want to make up for the months, for the years that we have danced around one another. Also I'm selfish, I want this, I want him, I want to feel something good and I know he needs this too.
If I'm being too bold I don't care. His hands move to the top of the sheet and this movement I allow since he will be revealing himself to me. He flings the sheet off and I drink my fill of him. Broad shoulders, strong arms, slight bulge in the stomach but not overly so especially for a man his age, and defined legs from years of riding a bicycle. I remember the day he flew past me and Lord Merton.
Lord Merton, while he is a good friend I won't be walking with him again.
I knee walk up to him and he whispers my name and reaches out to touch me the tone is almost like was when he was feverish. Perhaps he thinks this is another illusion? I reach out to touch him, to let him know that I am real that this is real and he huffs a breath. I tell him that I am going to make good on my promise and his hands grip my biceps while he leans forward to capture my mouth. His kiss is almost desperate and I want to take away that desperation. I want him to know that he will never have to fade into the background. That he can and will be by my side. I stroke him lovingly before adjusting myself and sinking down. It has been a very long time me and by the sounds he is making perhaps a very long time for him also. My head swims at this feeling that we can truly share. His eyes are wide as he stares back at me, his gaze transforming from disbelief to understanding. I place my hands on his chest so I can feel his heart and also gain leverage. Slowly I rise up but I let gravity take over on the way down. His eyes roll back in his head at the action and I find this eye roll more to my liking. I keep my movements as even as I can. His heartbeat is strong beneath my palm, his mouth has moved down my neck and he is now sucking on my collarbone. I never knew this spot could be so erotic and I mewl as the sensation. He bucks beneath me and feel a jolt of pleasure at the sensation. His hands leave my biceps to anchor at my hips and he makes the motion again.
I can see that it is taking a tremendous amount of effort for him to move, no doubt he is still weakened from his fever. I clamp my thighs around him, a silent command for him to be still and he obeys. My right hand hasn't left his chest, still feeling his heart. I begin to move again, while I can't seem to replicate all of the sensation he gave me it still feels good. Besides, we will be doing this again and again. His head begins to thrash back and forth on the pillow. This is it, soon my promise to make him flesh will be fulfilled. His chin lifts and I can see the tendons in his neck flex. My thighs are burning and I ignore it and move faster. He is not going to be denied. Every muscle in his body draws taut and his eyes are shut. I reach out with my left hand and tug on his hair. His eyes open and his gaze seems to bore into me before he stills. I smile as he finally releases all the tension in his body in warm pulses. A long time ago he brought be back from the land of ghosts, today I have granted him his wish and made him flesh.