DISCLAIMER:I obviously do not own Alexander Ludwig or Isabelle Fuhrman. Nor do I own 'Remembering Sunday' by All Time Low
He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Started making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days
Alexander rolls off the couch were he passed out in the afternoon after too many drinks. He wakes very early in the morning around one or two and decides he needs some fresh air to clear his mind.
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs
He sits on his front step with his face in his hands and his elbows on his knees and starts to cry. He's crying because he's sobered up enough to realize she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore. He thinks of the last Sunday they spent together. They were terribly hungover and she volunteered to make breakfast for the two of them. They ate it at his kitchen table and it was like the last night never happened. Like they were just friends that had not gotten shitfaced the night before. He takes one last deep breath before walking back inside. He doesn't know why but his legs take him straight upstairs into his bedroom. The bed is still a mess and so is he. He sits on the corner of the bed and starts to think of her again.
Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
He remembers Saturday night perfectly even being drunk. They were at a party and started to drink. They got a ride home from one of the sober people at the party and went to his house. Isabelle was just going to crash on his couch and this being her first real time being drunk neither of them knew what to expect. They got home and she kept tugging on his shirt. Then they both went upstairs and that was the moment he regrets the most. The moment when he allowed her to take off his shirt and then he lifted her and pushed her to the wall and started kissing her, violently. Then then things went very far. They both would have rather been sober for it but neither admits it to the other. The next day after they had breakfast she left to go back home and sleep but he never saw her again. He loves her with all his heart and that's when he gets the idea. He'll start once he's more sober. He flops down on the bed and falls asleep again.
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me
He wakes up again at noon to the sent of her lingering on his bed sheets he frowns and gets up to take a shower and changes his clothes into something somewhat nice. He notices his flannel shirt on the ground. That's what she wore on Sunday before she got dressed back into her clothes to go home. He picks it up and analysis it, memories of her start flooding his mind and he practically chucks it across the room. He can't take being in here anymore so he grabs the first shirt and pants his hands touch in his dresser. Nothing fancy just a black t shirt and a pair of blue jeans. He walks out of his house confidently and now fully sober but still hungover he drives to Isabelle's house and nocks on the door. To no surprise, nobody answers. Now the neighbors are peeking their heads outside their doors and windows looking at him in pity. Their heads shoot back in when he turns around. Alexander didn't notice the people watching him as he walks over to Isabelle's next door neighbors house. He nocks on the door and a woman in her late fifties, early sixties opens the door. "Hello, can I help you young man?" She asks "Yeah," he starts nodding his head. "Have you seen the girl that lives next to you? I'm a good friend of hers and I love her and I'm very worried about her." He finishes with tears starting to form in his eyes. "Let me go ask my husband, dear." She says placing a hand on his shoulder then turns and walks into her kitchen all the way in the back of the house so Alexander can't hear their conversation "He's asking about the girl." The woman states to her older husband "He doesn't know?" The man asks his wife. "No, he nocked on her door so he must think she's missing or something." She replies. "Just tell him we haven't seen her. I don't want to break his heart." The man says with pity in his words. The woman walks back to Alexander and simply says "No hun, I'm sorry to say we haven't seen her. If we do I'll tell her you're looking for her." Xander looks down in sadness "Okay ma'am, thank you for your help." Almost the same thing happens at every house on her block. He heads back to his big empty house defeated by the day and begins to think of what she told him many times before but he tried to persuade her.
Even though she doesn't believe in love,
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
He sits at the breakfast bar in his kitchen picking at the sorry excuse of a meal he's made for himself. They always meant it when they said they loved each other but she never believed she could be loved. After all that has been said about her that "she's a slut" and "she's a whore" and then there's always the one that Alexander would later find her in the bathroom doing something terrible to herself with tears in heavy streams flowing down her cheeks. The one that just may have broke her to the point of no repair. "She's such a gold digger and an attention whore. Why don't you just go kill your self or get over it. Nobody likes you and they never will." That one always hurt her the most. Even though its only four in the afternoon he starts to drink again and passes out. When he wakes it's around eleven at night and it's dark so he finds it suitable for another drink and finds himself screaming her name in front of her house.
Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside
The cops show up to take him away but he explains the situation to them that she's gone and he can't find the one and only love of his life. That she might be inside her house and if only he could get inside to confess all of this to her maybe he'd be okay. But he's left in cuffs sitting on the curb in front of her house while the cops talk and he can barely hear them "should we tell him?" One cop says "No, he'll just go insane. He did say she was the love of his life." The other cop says "Well we shouldn't keep it from him then." The first cop says. The rest he can't make out. The cops come back to him and say they're letting him off with a warning this time and that they would drive him home. When he got home he slumped on the couch and fell asleep before he could sober up any more. He plans on going back again tomorrow to ask the people in town if they've seen her.
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me
He explains the situation to the bar tender because nobody's here and he hasn't drank yet, it's only 12:30 on a Thursday. He doesn't plan on drinking until he finds her now. The man behind the bar told him to check with the neighbors one more time but other than that there's not much anyone can do. Xander thanks the man and leaves back to the neighborhood again as it started to rain and that makes him think of her yet again. Another painful memory flushes his mind of anything positive. The rain reminds him of that awful day back in may, the day she died. He had let himself into her house like usual but was not greeted by the bubbly girl he'd know to love but rather a sobbing coming from her bedroom. He dashed upstairs to find a sobbing Isabelle and a empty pill bottle on the ground she looked at him with fear and he looked at her the same. He pleaded to her for her to say its all just a sick joke he started to cry when the thought of really loosing her crossed his mind so he did the first thing he thought to do. He picked her up bridal style and carried her out into the rain. She begged for him to stop and just let her die. But she knew he wouldn't do that. She knew he couldn't let her just give up that easy. He ran all the way to the hospital even as she slipped into unconsciousness and both were soaked to the bone he promised to keep her safe. The doctors pumped the smaller girls stomach but they could only do so much and that's when he freaked out. That's when the beeping on the heart monitor slowed, the beeps getting further and further apart; until it was one long beep. He became hysterical and had to be escorted out of the room so the doctors could revive her, they did. Isabelle was great full in that moment to have Alexander but was scared as hell to face him again. The rain just fucks with his head now and he swears he can see her in the distance but when he calls out to it nothing happens. He finally reaches her neighbors house and asks if they've seen her and they tell him something he never wanted to hear. It shattered his heart and broke his soul. They say she moved away. He leaves in defeat and starts his walk home when he sees something he's hoping he's imaging but the name is so familiar on that piece of stone. He's hoping and praying that its not real as he runs over to it.
The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be
'ISABELLE FUHRMAN FEBRUARY 27, 1997 - JULY 18, 2015 SHE WILL BE FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS.'
His knees give way under him and he falls to start sobbing on the headstone. "She's gone, she's really gone." Was the only thing in his mind then. But then he remember all the good times they had totally forgetting the bad. "She's in a better place but I miss my baby like hell." Was the next thing he was thinking. Then he has an idea. A stupid and wreck less idea that would make her hate him forever but she's not here, is she? His brain reminded him that she is and will never be here or his again. He begins to sob on the headstone again. "She's in a better place. She can't be hurt anymore. She's at home." The last sentence he thinks breaks him down even more. He thinks to the quote she so easily carved into his brain "'Home is where ever the heart is' well then Xander my home is with you." He remembers when she said that and how happy he felt after just a set of words. But now his home is dead. Gone. Never coming back.
I'm not coming back (forgive me)
I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling)
But you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm)
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world,
From so many thousands of feet off the ground, I'm over you now
I'm at home in the clouds, and towering over your head
He believes that a house is not a home without hearts to warm it. He can never return home. Unless... No he can't! It's stupid. It's wreck less. He'll hurt someone. But who's there's left to hurt? The love of his life is gone. Nobody else cared for him like she did. Sure his family will miss him. But they'll get over it. Just like they always do, he doesn't live with them anyway; hell they're not even in the same country for more than a week each year. This hits him like a ton of bricks. He will be missed but at the same time not. Sure they'll mourn the death of their son/brother but get over it, fairly quickly. They got over his grandfathers death fairly fast, within a week. He's sure he will just be a set of short lived memories within a month. He rises from his lovers grave and starts to walk back to his house.
Well I guess I'll go home now...
He arrives at his house and opens the last bottle of alcohol in the house. Jack Daniels Whiskey.
I guess I'll go home now...
He opens the drawer in the kitchen where he keeps all the medicine and finds a bottle of prescription pain killers and pops off the top downing the bottle and then drowned it with the whiskey.
I guess I'll go home now...
He finishes off the bottle within fifteen minutes and feels very tired. He stumbles over to the couch and lays down to close his eyes but before shutting them for what he knows will be the last time he looks at the picture of her smiling as he kissed her cheek. He smiles to himself and closes his eyes only to be welcomed with a overwhelmingly bright light where he sees a figure with long dark hair in a short white dress thats tight at top and poofy at bottom. It only goes down to right above her knees. But even though she looks as beautiful as before she still streches her hand out to him.
I guess I'll go home...
"What the hell were you thinking, blondie?" She asks smiling as he takes her hand and they walk further into the light to spend the rest of entirety together.