My name is Olivia. And I am a vampire. I'm not sure how it happened but I am. Or if not, I am just a cold, heartless, bloodsucker (in literal terms). And I highly doubt those characteristics are normal. I used to live in the small rainy city of Forks. Where there really aren't a lot of people, which made my hiding more of a success. In my human life, I was originally born in forks. I lived with my mom in a small house by the forest. Life was nice. I fit in nicely, had friends, I did well in school; I just don't understand. What did I do wrong?
The night was cold, dark, and stormy; the usual. I was walking back from the shops to where the bus usually picks up its lost causes at nine at night. Sitting there by myself on the wet bench. Staring up to see black and getting pretty much the same view from beyond the other side of the road. To my left and right; shops poorly illuminated by the flickering street lights that swayed and wobbled every time a large gust came in. Leaves danced at my feet; my horrible fate, about to bite me in the neck. It didn't take long to notice the red-headed woman sucking down my blood that dripped on me. Her delicate fingers barely grazing my neck, razors at my flesh. It also didn't take long for me to start feeling queasy, everything slipping out from under me, then fire. A burning fire consuming my face, spreading slowly through me. Then as quick as the she came, the woman was gone.
I never saw the woman again. I was glad of it. Oh, the horrible things that would happen to her. I'm usually not that violent but the rage I feel whenever she crosses my mind is unbearable. Almost as unbearable as that thirst. It's always there. Because of her, I never saw my mom again. She would never accept me. That's out of the question. Who would want someone like me? Who would want a monster? I know I wouldn't but, I don't really have a choice.
I keep to myself. I wander the woods of the country, making sure to stay far from any humans. I've smelled one out once and I'm sorry to say that I couldn't control myself. I couldn't. It's not like I had control. I had no idea what I was doing, nor where I was, nor who I was. I was sorry though. I've never been so sorry in my life. I swore to myself I will never have human blood again. No matter what. Never again. I just went on living life like a normal freak would. (Does that even make sense?)
A couple months later after living off dear, bears, squirrels, etc. I paid a visit to the family of the man I . . . you know. I needed to see, to find out what I had done. What I ruined. With my abnormal scent skills, it wasn't so hard finding the home. Oh, the remorse grew worse when I looked through that house window. What used to be my heart broke, along with my will to exist (like I had a reason to begin with); I could have drowned the sun with my imaginary tears. A mother, maybe in her late forties, sat in a rocking chair carrying a warm cup of coffee. She held it tightly around her warm hands and every now and then stared into a crib that was placed next to the chair. She would release one hand from her mug and reach into the crib to grab a little finger that I could barely see. She smiled, and the smile reminded me of my mother. I had to run. I ran fleetingly back into the woods, ignoring anything I smelled, anything I heard, anything I saw. I ran up to a great tree and with anger bashed my two fists into the bark which made the trunk crack. A crack that echoed out to forever. A silent, empty, noise. The sounds of a sob could be heard. I put my back to the tree and grabbed my ice, cold face. I slid down the broken tree till I hit the ground with a thud that was supposed to bruise me. It would have bruised a normal person.
The sun shone down on my hands, now folded over my knees. I just sat there, waiting for an answer that would never come. I didn't move, didn't bother breathing. Daylight turned to the glossy, blue moonlight. Twilight. Something strange made my head want to slowly lift up. I stared through the branches at the dark and caught sight of a something shiny, and light. Almost a glow. I climbed up my broken tree, now feeling sorry for also destroying the poor trees' life, too. When I finally got to the top, I saw a sky that I had never seen before. The stars were alive, moving freely, shooting across the sky. Little diamonds making their way through the universe. There must have been millions, some bigger than others, just sitting there, staring back at Earth. Why hadn't I seen this before? These weren't here before? Were they? I wanted to reach up, to touch one and maybe hold it in my hand. To hold a star, see it shine. I stayed up in the tree looking at the stars all night, till dawn broke in through the trees in the east. The sun and clouds had nothing on those stars. They weren't nearly as dazzling. I waited during the day, and stayed amazed during the night. Wasn't much of a life but, at least I wasn't being a monster. I don't think monsters took time to look at the stars.
One night, I decided I should say something to them. It didn't take long but I soon figured what I should say.
"Hello stars. My name is Olivia. I don't know if you have seen me, but I have been watching you for some time now and, well . . . ." I was suddenly embarrassed. Ha, embarrassed talking to stars. "I wanted to say . . . well, I just wanted to say . . . thank you."
There was no answer, but for once I didn't want one, I was happy, I was changed. Even though I was a monster, something not exactly accepted in today's society, I was going to be someone. I wasn't made this way to sit in a forest forever. Even though I am forsaken, I am meant to be someone. And even though I have no heart, beats still live.
I took one long, last look at the stars with eyes the color of the world.
"Thank you for hope."