I'm in the business of misery

Let's take it from the top

I don't know why but ever since the "real Ritsuka" left I'm always thrown into miserable situations

She's got a body like an hour glass

It's ticking like a clock

It's not all bad all the time though. . . I do have my friend Yuiko. We're only in 6th grade but you wouldn't believe how big her boobs are. I mean sure she looks like she'd be dumb (well she kinda is) but she's really nice; even though I've made her cry. She likes me . . . like really like- likes me as in . . . "love". (Not that I truly understand the word. that's just how other people would describe it) But there's this older guy in my life and I think I may "love" him, or at least I like him a lot to where I'm always thinking about him. I know it's wrong , I know I shouldn't like him in any form because one I'm a child and two because I'm also a guy...but he says he loves me and I want to believe him but he's such a lying bastard.

It's a matter of time

Before we all run out

It's because Yuiko loves me that I feel so pressured, almost like I'm running out of time before I have to choose between them. Yuiko or . . . or . . .Soubi???

When I thought he was mine

She caught him by the mouth

Ugh! That damned Kio is worse than a jealous girl sometimes! Kio went over to Soubi's apartment last week. He went straight after work and he was already drunk. Somehow he got Soubi to drink a couple shots of vodka. A couple of gay men alone in an apartment we all know what happened. I mean I understand why he needed to "do it", he's always kissing me so passionately but it never gets any farther than that. It's always after our most amazing kisses, that he gets this pinkish tint to his cheeks and his eyes get a little wider, it's always then that he comes up with some excuse to leave right then and there. HA! He thinks I don't realize the reason to his sudden departures?!? Soubi once told me he couldn't get excited for a child but it's quite obvious now that he can. He's always saying love filled provocative phrases, kissing me, nibbling my (neko) ears, and when he thinks I'm asleep he traces my body with his slender fingers and whispers "I love you" frequently. I thought he was in love with me but he's been really distant since that one night stand with (that damned) Kio.

I waited 8 long months

She finally set him free

I told him I couldn't lie

He was the only one for me

2 weeks we caught on fire

It seemed like ages but Soubi eventually apologized for his "actions". I decided to confess how much I loved him, telling him he was the only one I would ever have feelings for (both emotional and sexual feelings). About two weeks later we were back to normal, and the kissing (and random groping sessions) were phenomenal. Still I wasn't sure if my "love" for this man made me feel good or tainted. I'm sure none of the other guys in my class have guy on guy tendencies. . .

She's got it out for me

But I wear the biggest smile

Kio found out about me Soubi being together again; and now he's more jealous than ever! He's always making a pass at Soubi when he has the chance (it's so funny I can't help grinning like an idiot). When he tries to flirt with Soubi, Soubi just holds me closer or kisses me completely ignoring Kio.

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

But I got him where I want him now

Whoa it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

Even if Kio hates me for "taking" Soubi (back) from him I don't mind. If it's for Soubi I'd even die for him as a sacrifice (although I know it will never come to that . . . hopefully).

But god does it feel so good

Cause I got him where I want him now

And if you could then you know you would

Cause god it just feels so

It just feels so good

Me and Soubi have been together (as in officially dating) for nearly 3 years now, and I'm nearing the age of 16. I wonder what he's gonna give me??? The weeks of waiting were almost over, my birthday was tomorrow. Soubi invited me over to hang out (which basically means snuggle-fests on his couch). I was staring blankly at one of his paintings on the wall, when Soubi started nipping at my (neko) ears. I let out a sharp gasp. GOD! Did he want to arouse me?!? I wonder how far I could get if I actually gave him orders to please me? Would he still be able to tell me "no"? He's always begging me for orders and commands with desiring eyes. Even though I was full of lust I could never bring myself to actually take charge of his actions. Ugh tonight I don't care. Tonight I'm giving all the orders making all the moves. I pulled away from Soubi (who was sucking on my collar bone), got up and leaned against his bedroom door, using my index finger to motion him over. He looked at me raising an eyebrow. I nodded. He rose to his feet and padded over to me, he reached out to embrace me but I opened the door and sat on the edge of his bed, luring him in with my body language. He moved forward eventually kneeling on the bed next to me. I toyed with his hair while he played with the hem of my shirt. I leaned forward taking control of his mouth exploring it with my tongue. I pulled away; he made a sound almost pleading me to stay. I licked his jaw down to the nape of his neck stopping there to suck a little. Soubi let out a soft moan. I gave a sly grin trailing my right hand down his body brushing against the bulge in his pants. He gasped loudly shocked that I wasn't stopping or backing out like usual, I smiled lustfully. I pulled at the bottom of his shirt; he ripped it off eagerly and stripped me of mine. He pushed me down on my back lowering himself on top of me. I unbuttoned his jeans and lowered the zipper pulling them down with his boxers. I was faced with the sight I've been dying to see forever, and it was nothing short of amazingly beautiful to me. He tugged the rest of my clothes off; looking me over with those desire filled eyes I'd seen so many times before. He placed soft kisses down my body licking occasionally until he came to my exposed hard-on pausing as if asking permission. I closed my eyes, "Do it that's an order". Soubi smiled, happy with his first ever order from his young "master". Obediently he took me into his mouth, his tongue dancing on my sensitive skin. I was losing myself to this feeling when he began to suck me. Erk! I was getting so warm down there! "Uh Soubi I feel a little weird there at the moment . . . is that supposed to happen the warm feeling???" The blond nodded and nudged me to turn over. With his fingers he prepared me for his entrance. It was a little uncomfortable but I just grit my teeth and took it. He had his hands on my hips now and OH GOD! I could feel him in me now he pulled out some and thrust back in again. After a while he hit a spot that made me see stars and cry out in pleasure. Now when thrusting in he made sure to hit that spot. Taking one of his hands he began rubbing my abandoned erection. Ugh god I was to my limit. "S- soubi" I said in a shaky voice, "I don't think I can take much more. I'm gonna ... I'm gonna Oh God!!! It felt so damn good.

Second chances they don't ever matter

People never change

Once a whore

You're nothing more

I'm sorry that'll never change

And about forgiveness

We're both supposed to have a chance

I'm sorry honey but I passed up

Now look this way

Kio saw me going to school and I could tell he was furious; I just kept walking. He stormed over to Soubi's small apartment, and let himself in. "SOUBI YOU SICK PERVERTED BASTARD!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU HEARTLESS PIRCK!!! YOU TOOK THAT KIDS EARS! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COULDNT YOU AT LEAST HAVE WAITED TILL HE WAS OLDER! SICK FREAK!" He ranted red in the face by now. Soubi sighed, "One: I'm not a pervert and never was. Ritsuka's old enough to make those kind of decisions on his own now, plus most of his class don't have their ears any more so it's not that big of a deal. Two: I didn't do anything to you really. You know I'm in love with Ritsuka and have been since I met him years ago, so it's your fault for having false hope. Kio it's not that I want to hurt you but you're my best friend and I never wanted to ruin that. So please Kio, don't be mad."

"Ugh! You're such a freaking man whore! You'll never change will you?"

". . ."

"Will u?"

"Most likely not"

"Dammit right now I don't even know if I want to forgive you"

Soubi was bored with this conversation now and was staring out the window idly.

"You bastard look at me!"

Soubi didn't. Kio let the tears run down his face as he bolted out the door.

Well there's a million other girls

Who do it just like you

Looking as innocent as possible to get

To who they want and what they like

It's easy if you do it right

Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!

Kio stormed to his own house. The tears were still streaming down his face making his messy bangs stick to him. That prick how could he? I'm his only friend and I've done everything I could to let him know I'm "head over heels" about him. I've done just about everything except blurt out "I love you, you oblivious pervert". I even throw myself at him nearly !!! He's such a damn piss off! Well you know what he can kiss my ass. I'm gonna plot my revenge and make it sweet. And I never thought I'd ever call on Seimei for help. Odd. Oh the irony. Ha! A few days later Kio finally convinced Seimei to "join forces" with him to make Soubi writhe with anger and jealousy. Around 6 o'clock he arrived at Kio's place. They were gonna go to Soubi's and act like they were so in love. In his face! Soubi mopped for ages when Seimei just up and left him telling him he was to be Ritsuka's. I bet Soubi is just using Ritsuka as a replacement. I bet it's because he sees Ritsuka as a mini Seimei. I want to see him hurt as bad as I do. Forget my pacifism for this it doesn't matter. Once they were outside of Soubi's door they got in place, Seimei wrapping his arm possessively around Kio's waist, Kio pinching his own cheeks to make himself look like he was blushing. Seimei placed a kiss on Kio's cheek "Ready 'love'?" Kio nodded the rage rushing through him. They let themselves in. Soubi's apartment was suddenly filled with laughter. He and Ritsuka looked up from where they were lounging on the couch talking. They caught sight of Kio and SEMEI??? Both Ritsuka and Soubi were shocked. "Hey Sou- chan. Sorry about getting mad at you. I wouldn't have come back but I lost one of my earrings and thought maybe it had come out here." Kio stated giggling as Seimei started placing kisses on his neck. Ritsuka looked over at Soubi noticing that he looked a little peeved. "I understand know how you feel about that kid; ever since I met Seimei all I can think about is taking his sexy little cat ears.", Kio accentuated his statement by placing a kiss on the older Aoyagi boy, who made a purring sound, nestling his head against Kio. "Well that's good I'm glad you're finally over me and have moved on even though it's a little bit ironic that you ended up with my sort of ex and Ritsuka's older brother. Ritsuka watched the older men and Seimei. Hmm this was interesting although he couldn't say he cared at all, he had Soubi so whatever happened with everyone else didn't matter anymore. Ritsuka ended up tuning them all out again staring idly at another one of Soubi's beautiful artworks this one of an exotic flower and monarch butterfly. Suddenly the voices reached a crescendo and Ritsuka looked back at them. "WHAT THE HELL??? DOESN'T THIS BOTHER YOU AT ALL???" Kio was shouting. "Not really" Soubi said absent mindedly.

"HOW CAN THIS NOT BOTHER YOU? WHEN SEIMEI LEFT YOU HE'S ALL YOU COULD THINK ABOUT! YOU HAD LIKE A FREAKING MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND ALL YOU WOULD SAY FOR A MONTH WAS NO! YOU HAD THE WORST CASE OF DENIAL!!! AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN CARE THAT YOUR "BELOVED" SEIMEI IS HERE AND ALL OVER ME NOW??"

"Well leaving was Seimei's choice so eventually I accepted the harsh reality. He told me to go and serve Ritsuka if he ever left. He told me to care for Ritsuka. At that time his word was my law, my everything. I went and I found Ritsuka and cared for him as best I could, even though I had never come face to face with the boy, though I had been in their house hold many times while Ritsuka was growing up. I didn't think I would ever love someone again after Seimei but Ritsuka had this mysterious alluring charm that was irresistible. Even though I pleaded for him to punish me when and how he saw fit he never raised a hand against me. He was so pure. Ritsuka always thinks all his actions over he's so mature for his age yet he's still so naive. I've watched him grow from a boy to an amazing teenager. I love everything about him how he blushes when he's embarrassed or how he gets ticked off when I won't tell him something. To me he's perfect he's my angel sent from above that saved me from a dark spell in my life. So in essence I don't need Seimei anymore he means nothing to me. He was a false love. But if you're happy with him then I'm glad for the both of you."

"DAMMIT THIS IS ALL A LIE! I STILL FREAKING HATE HIM FOR HURTING YOU AND IT'S GONNA TAKE FOREVER TO GET HIS DAMN SCENT OFF OF ME! I ONLY WANTED YOU TO GIVE ME A CHANCE! I WANTED YOU TO FEEL THE SAME HURT I DO!"

"Sorry. But I refuse you time and time again and that's never gonna change."

Seimei joined in.

"Soubi, I only agreed to help this idiot because I wanted to hurt you any way I could; for taking my sweet Ritsuka away. For taking my precious little brother away from me. For stealing my world."

Ritsuka sighed, what the hell he'd pitch in his two cents too.

"And what about what I want? Seimei at one time you were my idol, my hero, my world. You left me to no notice or anything that crushed me, my hopes, and my dreams. I was left in the dark with no escape or comfort from mother's brutal attacks. Soubi became my life saver, my pillar or hope, my source of strength. Sometimes the thought of Soubi was the only reason I bothered to get out of bed. I still love you but Soubi's been here for me even when I pushed him away. Somehow I'll always love him for that and I think I've actually come to some definition for love. I'll gladly say I'm in love with Agatsuma Soubi."

The two men and Seimei stared at Ritsuka for a moment. Soubi came to his senses and lovingly hugged Ritsuka. "I've been waiting for the day you would freely say that. I love you too, you're my world." Soubi said placing a kiss on top of Ritsuka earless head. "Although I will miss your ears." He smiled.

Whoa I never meant to brag

But I've got him where I want him now

Whoa it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you know

But god does it feel so good

Cause I've got him where I want him now

And if you could then you know you would

Cause god it just feels so . . .

It just feels so good

Being with Soubi was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Somehow it was like everything finally made sense and was at peace.

I watched his wildest dreams come true

Not one of them involving you

Just watch my wildest dreams come true

Not one of them involving

I graduated high school top of my class. I'm 18 now and can make decisions on my own. I finally made Soubi's dream a reality. I've decided to move in with him. Not only fulfilling his dream but mine as well. Who would have ever guessed the boy whose destiny was to be named Loveless would ever be happy with one special person? But I am. I am loved. And I love. Whatever the world may throw at me; with Soubi by my side, I'll always wear the biggest smile.

Whoa I never meant to brag

But I've got him where I want him now

Whoa I never meant to brag

But I've got him where I want him now

Whoa it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you know

But god does it feel so good

Cause I've got him where I want him now

And if you could then you know you would

Cause god it just feels so . . .

It just feels so good