The first time that my heart broke I swore up and down that I would never fall in love again.
The bitterness in my heart was the only thing that kept me together and damn if I was going to let someone see through my barriers.
I was in love with Sam, he was my everything and I was his everything, so tell me how is it that Fate had decided that i wasn't his soulmate? Fate decided that Emily was the better choice and Sam didn't even fight it. If he had loved me as much as he had said then he would have done everything to break the imprint. It turns out he wa just a coward that couldn't go against Fate.
And i turned out to be the bitter harpy whose sole existence annoyed the hell out of everyone else. Life is not fair. Happy endings don't exist. Not for me at least.
And it hurts. It hurts so much that sometimes I just wish I could rip my heart out and throw it as far away as I could. My heart has been walked over a million times and nobody cares. The whole pack is always telling me to get over it.
"Move on" they would say.
"Emily is so much better so get a grip on yourself and stop bitching"
As if it were that easy. They don't know what is like to be living with the notion that you weren't good enough for that one person that you hoped was going to be with you for the rest of your life. They don't know how if feels like to see them everyday together, kissing, laughing, without a care in the world, while i'm breaking inside. They don't know that every single night I sneak out of the house to go to the cliffs and cry my eyes out mourning for the life that Emily gets to live now. But who cares huh? They all think that I am tough. That I can handle it and that since I'm such a bitch I don't deserve to be care for. Well, they are right. I am Leah Clearwater and I refuse to let a broken heart control my life. I refuse to let a bunch of stupid teenagers break me farther.
There will be a time where this pain will go away, there will be a time where this is all just a distant memory. The days won't be so gloomy and it won't always be raining. Perhaps one day I will be able to smile again...