The Mendelian Inheritance Proof

Author's Note: I'm not sure what to say about this. Let's just say it's a little idea that popped into my head and wouldn't let go. And I've been playing so much lately with Sheldon and Penny; I needed a break and decided to take Leonard out for a spin. I hope you enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Big Bang Theory. Nor do I own Leonard or Amy or Sheldon or Penny. I'm forever grateful that the folks at CBS came up with these people and I hope they don't mind me playing with them, on occasion. Ben and Sharon are mine, however, and I may play with them some more in the future.

Amy tapped a foot as she waited impatiently through the fourth ring on the other end of the phone line. She was nearing the end of her rope and needed professional help.

"Hello, Leonard?" She immediately began to pace around the living room, her agitated state emphasized by the disarrayed condition of her hair and clothing. On one side of her head her hair was pushed up into a frizzy clump where she'd repeatedly been combing her fingers through it. She was dressed to go to bed, her cotton flannel nightgown demurely covered by the matching flannel robe. The set had been Sheldon's gift on her birthday two years ago; the first they celebrated after Amy moved into his apartment. She was grateful, of course. He'd been concerned that she had only six nightgowns and needed a seventh to round out the week. This set was a Graham tartan plaid, mixing blues and greens with a thread of yellow cross-crossing through that matched Sheldon's own Friday pajamas. Thus, it had become her Friday nightgown. Sheldon had been so pleased with the symmetry he immediately began searching for nightgowns to match his other weekday pajamas. So far he'd found Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday. He was nothing if not persistent, but Amy had to admit to herself that she would prefer a more romantic gift on occasion, maybe something glittering or sparkly. Ever since the tiara incident several years before, she was a sucker for jewelry, although Sheldon very rarely indulged her. She'd love it if he gave her some slightly naughty, girly underthings from Victoria's Secret, but she wasn't holding her breath for that.

"Oh, hey Amy," came the voice on the other end of the line. "Everything ok? You sound a little frazzled."

Amy combed her fingers once again through the rat's nest that her hair had become and sat down heavily on the couch. Realizing that she was in Sheldon's spot, she moved over before continuing.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Leonard, I realize it's late, but can I speak to Penny? It's urgent."

"Oh, geez, Amy, I'm sorry," Leonard replied, "Penny's up in Vancouver shooting that TV pilot. She got a call this afternoon and had to leave suddenly, so of course, she forgot to take her cellphone with her. I can give you her hotel number."

Amy shot up from the chair, a look of utter panic on her face. "Oh no!" She turned to look back towards the bedrooms. The incipient panic that had been threatening all evening was now evident on her face. "I need her to come over here right now! It's an emergency!"

The concern was evident in Leonard's voice. He could sense that Amy was on a thin edge, so he tried to instill calm through the phone line. "I'm afraid that's just not going to happen, Amy. With the current state of technology, it's a physical impossibility for Penny to travel twelve hundred miles that quickly. Maybe you can tell me what the problem is and I can help. Unless it's girly-girl stuff, of course, and then I'm not so sure…"

"I don't know, Leonard." Amy was nearly despondent. "You know I brought Sheldon home from the hospital today," she sighed, as she resumed her seat and settled down to relate her story. "I didn't think he would be like this. I thought the painkillers would keep him… you know… subdued. But he says he's not in any pain, so he's not taking any medication and he's been driving me crazy all afternoon."

"Amy!" A petulant voice called from the bedroom as if on cue. "I'm thirsty and all the ice in my tea has melted!"

Amy shook her head and huffed, exasperated. "Just a minute, Sheldon!" she yelled, surprised that her voice was beginning to sound like Mrs. Wolowitz, "I'm on the phone!"

"Well, hang up!" came the voice again, "I need fresh tea!"

"Leonard," Amy whispered into the phone, "if he keeps this up, I won't be responsible. I was hoping that if Penny came over, she could sing 'Soft Kitty' and that might relax him a bit and get him to sleep. That always seem to work. If I don't get a break soon, I'm going to start acting like those addicted monkeys I used to work with. Although, compared to sick Sheldon, those guys were mellow."

Leonard tried his best not to laugh. He'd been there, and he knew what Amy was going through. "Can't you sing 'Soft Kitty'?" he asked.

Amy heaved another exasperated sigh and got up to walk to the kitchen and get Sheldon's fresh glass of iced tea. "Apparently not. Sheldon says that only Penny and his mom can sing 'Soft Kitty'. It doesn't work over the phone, and I can't get Mary here any faster than Penny. Plus, Mary has Meemau to look after now. It's not like she can drop everything and fly to California anymore."

Amy looked at the glass of iced tea. Maybe she could grind up the painkillers and mix them in. She began to look around the kitchen for something that would reduce the pills to powder, then thought better of the idea. Sheldon would surely detect the change in taste. Even if she told him it was a different brand of tea, he would probably refuse to drink it. And if he ever found out she'd deceived him, especially sneaking something into his drink… well, she could kiss her boyfriend goodbye.

"Amy! Where's my tea! I'm SICK! You need to take care of me! It's in the Agreement!"

Amy stared again at the glass of tea. Maybe kissing her boyfriend goodbye wouldn't be SUCH a bad thing…

"Amy?"

Leonard's voice on the phone brought Amy back to her present dilemma

"I'm sorry, Leonard, you were saying?"

"Look, Amy. I don't know if this will help, but I used to take care of Dr. Wack-a-doodle for years before Penny moved in across the hall. Maybe I can come over and help? If nothing else, I can Sheldon-sit for a little while so you can get some rest. How would that be?"

Amy sighed gratefully. "Oh, Leonard, could you? You don't know how grateful I'd be! I'm completely frazzled here and maybe if I just get a few hours rest, I can cope a little better. I can sack out in your old room."

"Sure thing, Amy. I'm sure I can deal with him for a few hours. It's a little like riding a bike – you don't forget how, no matter how much you might want to. I'll be over in a few minutes."

Leonard was about to hang up when he thought of something. "Oh Amy – with Penny out of town, I'm going to have to bring the kids. Will that be ok? I'll bring sleeping bags and we can all camp out in the living room."

Amy grinned. "Sure, Leonard. The way I feel right now, I wouldn't mind if you wanted to bring the Mongol Hoard with you, so long as it means I can get a break. I'm just sorry I won't have the energy to enjoy seeing them. What with Sheldon's appendicitis and Penny's auditioning, it's been awhile since we've all gotten together. I hope once things calm down a bit we can have another Family Day. Once he's feeling better, I know Sheldon will love it. He's such a big kid himself, still." Amy smiled. She really did love him, including his quirks and his sometimes childlike nature. She wondered what sort of father Sheldon would be. She hoped she would find out some day.

Leonard smiled. Family Days with Sheldon and Amy definitely involved three adults and three children. But it was endearing to watch Sheldon play with his godchildren. Of course, Sheldon wasn't officially the kids' godfather, because he wouldn't participate in their baptism or promise to raise them to believe in God and Jesus in the event something happened to Leonard and Penny. Despite all that, he and Amy were named as their legal guardians. Leonard knew he could trust Sheldon to take care of his kids. When he'd suggested it, Sheldon promptly drew up the Parental Guardian Agreement. You could always tell that Sheldon was sincere when he presented you with a legally binding document. And Sheldon was more of a brother than Leonard's own brother had ever been. He sometimes caught Amy watching Sheldon with the kids and hoped that one day, he and Penny could return the favor and be the guardians for Amy and Sheldon's children. Amy was nearing forty. Maybe he should have a talk with Sheldon, before it was too late. He shook off his reverie, realizing Amy was waiting for his response.

"That's a great idea, Amy. For tonight though, I'll get everyone packed up and we'll be over within the hour. You hang in there, ok?"

The two friends hung up the phone. Amy grabbed the iced tea and quickly walked back to the bedroom. She just needed to endure another hour. She could do that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Leonard climbed the stairs with his two children in tow, the sleeping bags slung over his back. He shook his head as they passed the third floor landing. Almost twenty years later and the elevator still hadn't been replaced. He turned and looked at his son, Ben, who was huffing and puffing and complaining again about taking the stairs.

"Dad! Are they ever gonna fix that elevator? And why can't Aunt Amy and Uncle Sheldon just move to someplace with a good elevator?"

Leonard wondered if he would ever tell the kids the real story behind the broken elevator. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell Ben, who was eight years old and named after Benjamin Franklin. Ben was following in his father's footsteps. He liked to experiment, and at his age, that meant he was very good at getting into trouble with things he shouldn't mess with. The story of how Leonard had blown up the elevator would just inspire him.

Sharon, his little miniature Penny and his secret favorite, was nine years old. She had been born exactly nine months and one week after his wedding to Penny and Ben had followed a close eleven months later. After that, they'd had a long talk and Leonard had visited his urologist to get a vasectomy. They both loved the kids, who were, indeed both smart and beautiful. He and Penny had discussed having kids before they got married and agreed they wanted to have them soon after getting married. But it had occurred much sooner and much faster than they expected. Apparently, Leonard's sperm and Penny's eggs were highly compatible and once the barrier of routine birth control was taken out of the picture, they got right down to business.

Penny's first pregnancy had been fairly uneventful and the birth as easy as a first birth can be. But with Ben she'd developed complications including high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. There had been more than one ambulance trip to the emergency room. Leonard had been beside himself with worry. When the doctor took him aside in the delivery room and told him to prepare himself to make a choice between his wife and his son, he decided that he would do whatever it took to never go through that again. Fortunately, once the crisis was past and they had a healthy, squirming baby boy along with their one year old daughter, Penny agreed that two children were enough. Despite his unapologetically biased opinion that his were the two most wonderful kids on the planet, he'd never regretted the decision.

Both children took after Penny, although Ben's dark hair made it less obvious on the boy. But he had his mother's eyes, nose and slightly pointed chin. If you looked at just their faces, the two kids could almost be twins. Thankfully, neither had inherited Leonard's vision problems or his lactose intolerance, although it was beginning to look like Ben would be short like his father. Leonard figured that if that was all the boy had to deal with, it was a pretty decent deal, considering what could have been.

Sharon was the image of her mom. Even Penny's dad, when he came to visit, frequently called his granddaughter Penny by mistake. Leonard realized that in only about five years he would have his work as a father cut out for him. He wondered if he could get Sharon so interested in science that she would eschew boys. He doubted it; and he worried that, as brilliant as his little girl was, she could still get herself into some bad situations once the hormones started kicking in.

Maybe they could all just move to a deserted island somewhere.

They finally reached the fourth floor and Leonard knocked twice. The door was opened within seconds.

"Leonard! I'm SO glad you came. Come on in kids!"

Amy had brushed her hair, but was still in her night clothes. She backed away from the door and ushered the little family in. "I've got Battlestar Gallactica queued up for you. Sheldon just got the new holographic edition. You'll be able to walk right through Adama if you want!"

Ben rushed in and plopped immediately on the far end of the couch. "Dibs on Uncle Sheldon's spot!" he shouted.

Leonard and Amy grinned at each other. Since the kids were babies, Sheldon would sit holding them in his arms or in his lap as they got older. As a result, aside from Amy, they were the only beings on earth he would let sit there when he was in the room. Since they were getting too big to sit in his lap anymore, he sometimes even allowed them to sit in his spot while he sat in the middle of the couch or on one of the other chairs.

"Where is Uncle Sheldon, Aunt Amy?" asked Sharon.

Amy looked down at the young girl and smiled. "He's in bed right now, because he's been sick. He's getting better now. Your dad came over to help me take care of him so that we'll all be able to have a Family Day real soon, ok?"

Sharon nodded solemnly, her long blond curls bobbing around her shoulders. "Did you take him to see a doctor? I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up, but not a doctor like Daddy. I want to be a cardiologist and work in a hospital and cut people open so I can fix what's wrong with them. Did Uncle Sheldon get cut open?"

Amy glanced at Leonard, who shook his head. He hadn't said anything to the little girl.

"As a matter of fact, Sharon, Uncle Sheldon did have surgery." Amy explained. "He had his appendix removed because it was infected. But they didn't actually cut him open, they did the surgery laparoscopically."

Sharon immediately turned to her father. "Can I look that up on my pad, Daddy?"

Leonard shrugged the sleeping bags off his back and began to rummage in the messenger bag he'd carried over his shoulder. He took out a small blue tablet computer decorated with a large caduceus sticker on the back side and handed it to his daughter. Incongruously, the medical symbol sparkled in the light. Sharon had carefully cut the design out of glitter paper, since the craft store didn't carry any pre-cut, glittered caduceus stickers.

"Sure, sweetie. Uncle Sheldon's password is 'PennysChildrenAreIntelligent AndAestheticallyPleasing', no spaces and don't forget each word is capitalized."

Sharon went to sit on the opposite end of the couch from her brother and began happily typing into her pad. Finding an article on laparoscopic surgery, she sat back contentedly and began to read.

His children settled; Leonard turned back to Amy. "How's he doing? Still cranky?"

Amy led him up the step and down the hall. "You don't know the half of it. He's been running me ragged wanting tea and soup and sandwiches, and complaining that his bandages itch. He wants me to change them and clean his 'wounds' every thirty minutes." She stopped outside the door. "Leonard, his 'wounds' are about the size of big mosquito bites and they're clean enough to eat off of! I've gone through a whole box of bandages already. I can't convince him that constantly messing with them is actually contra-indicated. They'll never heal at this rate. If you can't convince him to go to sleep, I may consider taking him back to the hospital. I'll knock him over the head and tell them he fell, if I have to!"

Leonard placed a comforting hand on Amy's shoulder. "I've got this, Amy," he whispered, not wanting the man on the other side of the door to hear, "You just get yourself into bed and get some rest."

Amy nodded gratefully, patted his hand and squeezed it a moment before she turned back to the other bedroom. After she closed the door behind her, Leonard steeled himself, turned the doorknob and entered. He wondered if the room would look any different. He hadn't been inside the inner sanctum since Amy moved in. It was odd to think of Sheldon sharing his room with anyone, much less a woman. It was particularly odd to think of what Sheldon and Amy might actually be doing in this room. For someone who had grown so much in a few short years, now that he was ill, he was definitely reverting back to his old, infantile self. Some things never changed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

After three hours of constant demands, Leonard was realizing he'd forgotten just how bad a sick Sheldon could be. He was back in the kitchen, warming milk to make hot chocolate. He hoped the soothing beverage would finally get Sheldon to sleep. If it didn't, he might have to drown the man in it. He nursed his own children through strep throat when they both caught it together last year and Penny was in New York shooting a commercial. Two miserably sick children didn't hold a candle to one recuperating Sheldon when it came to sheer irascibility. It was one o'clock in the morning and he needed to get some rest himself if he was going to keep up with his own kids all day on a Saturday. But Sheldon didn't show the first sign of being tired. Leonard could only guess that the anesthesia had thrown Sheldon's internal clock off. He really didn't care what was causing it. It had to change, and soon.

"Daddy?"

Leonard nearly dropped the pan of hot milk when he heard his daughter's voice in the darkened living room.

"Daddy, what are you doing?"

Concerned that she might wake Ben, Leonard quietly walked over to where the little girl lay curled up in her sleeping bag so he could whisper.

"Shhhhh. We don't want to wake your brother. Daddy's just getting a warm drink for Uncle Sheldon. He can't sleep and he needs his sleep so he'll get better and so Daddy won't try to kill him. You just go back to sleep now, okay, sweetie?"

He gently stroked her hair and kissed her cheek, then helped her scoot back down into her sleeping bag, tucking her in. He leaned down to give her one more kiss on the forehead. As he was walking back to the kitchen to finish the hot chocolate, he sensed nature's call and diverted to the bathroom. Once he went back to Sheldon's room, it might be an hour or more before he got another chance.

After finishing his business and thoroughly washing and sanitizing his hands, he returned to the kitchen and set the pan of milk back on the stove to reheat. The chocolate needed to be just the right temperature or Sheldon would make him do it over. Checking the milk carefully with a candy thermometer, he removed the pan from the heat and poured the milk into a mug containing exactly one and a half tablespoons of chocolate syrup. He stirred the mixture carefully with a spoon, then proceeded down the hall, mug in hand.

As he neared the door, he stopped.

"…little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr."

A moment later, the door opened quietly and his little girl came out, turning to close the door carefully behind her.

"It's ok Daddy," she whispered, holding one finger over her lips, "Uncle Sheldon's asleep now. Can I have his chocolate?"

Leonard stood staring down at his daughter, completely stunned.

"Uh… of course," he said, handing the mug over, "How did you… what made you think to sing that song to him?"

Sharon took a small sip of the sweet, creamy drink, holding the mug carefully with both hands.

"Mommy sings that to me and Ben whenever we're sick and it always makes us feel better. She told me she learned it from Uncle Sheldon a long time ago. I just figured it might make him feel better, too."

Leonard looked up from his daughter's face to stare at the closed bedroom door. Ushering her to continue into the other room, he pondered the oddities of genetics.

Apparently, not only had Sharon inherited her mother's stunning beauty, but she'd inherited the 'Soft Kitty' gene as well. He only hoped Amy never found out.

The End.

FF_1807614_ 3/16/2013