So as a mean of redying myself for the new book that comes out tomorrow and that I am really excited for I reread Divergent this past weekend. Which included page 232, which included the quote you will see and POOF, ideas. Anyways, this is out of my usual writing style and points of view, but I wanted to get input and celebrate how we get another book of Tris and Four and Christina (well, hopefully Christina) and Caleb. Anyways, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I no own the factions, characters or general storyline.
The Last Thing I See
I feel the trademark of fear: sweaty palms, racing heart, tightness in my chest, dry mouth, a lump in my throat, difficulty breathing. He plants his hands on either side of my head and leans over me.
"Be brave, Tris," he whispers. "The first time is always the hardest."
His eyes are the last thing I see.
-Divergent, page 232
Human brains can only process things so fast, and for Tris, the time between the pull of a trigger, the blow of a gunshot, and the piercing of a bullet is too fast.
Tobias on the other hand is faster. Maybe because he's been at it longer, maybe because he's not the one pouring blood like some kind of cruel fountain, or maybe because nothing awakes the senses and pumps adrenaline through him just as fast as Tris screaming.
He grabs her bicep with his left hand since that one isn't busy pulling the trigger releasing the bullet he knows will land in Jeanine, somewhere in the blue-covered body. His aim is perfect and his senses have never been readier to excel than right now when Tris needs him most. He needs to end this and make it completely about her. Not 'look over shoulder and check on Tris when you're not being shot on', not 'listen and check if the footsteps behind you sound as if you're running'. Just Tris, like his utopia says it should be.
He drops the gun once the bullet is fired and uses his other arm to circle her.
Tobias is gentle as he could but Tris is still squirming with pain. With a strong hand he lowers her head so that it doesn't hit the cement floor of the Erudite HQ Jeanine had adopted as a hiding place.
"Tobias," she says. "Oh God…"
"Yeah," he says. "Yeah, it's okay…"
"No," she says. "Tobias your hands are red."
"Yeah, that's… That's a pretty good giveaway. Just hold on Tris, like you're good at. Hold on and fight, Caleb should be here any minute with the first aid kit…"
He takes a look at her injury. He isn't a medic but after spending so much time with the Dauntless, you've got to be able to do at least a certain level of emergency battlefield medicine and diagnose what a person can and will come back from, and what someone just can't. He can tell the bullet is too far in and the blood is pouring out far too fast and her breathing is far too shaky and Jeanine's aim is far too good.
"Yeah. Yeah okay, I'm okay." Tris nodded. "It's fine. Right Tobias?"
He can't bear to tell her that she won't be, and he figures that in a manner of minutes -as much as it chills him all over and paralyses him like nothing ever did before- she'll be in a better place where she'll be there to realise that oh look- I guess I wasn't fine.
Tris looks up at him. He must really think the injury isn't that bad, it must be superficial, like what Christine had on her thighs earlier in the war. He doesn't lie, he's not a liar. He can't lie for his life.
Tobias is thinking the same thing; but maybe he can lie for hers.
"Yeah Tris," he says. "Always. You're always a fighter, you."
Tris nods to him. He's right, of course. But why is her chest so tight? Why is her breathing sickish?
"Tobias, I feel all weird," she tells him.
That's the bullet Tris, my God, it's the bullet that's going to kill you and take you a thousand miles from me. But of course he can't bring himself to say it because looking at her, with her weak breathing and half-open mouth and blood, blood, so much blood…
"Yeah, that's… That's fear…" He said with a sudden streak of inspiration. "Breathing, tight chest, lump in the throat. That's just fear acting inside of you. You were always scared of simulations."
"The crows…" She says to him. They invade her mind and soar in circles above her and she hears them in her ears, loud as fire alarms and persistent as the ticking of a watch.
He figures that she's feverish and delusional from the pain, the bullet or some poison Jeanine managed to get into her somehow. Maybe she doused the bullet. Tobias doesn't care.
"Yeah, the crows terrify you." Tobias goes on. "But don't worry. First time's the hardest. You'll be a pro now. You'll be amazing Tris. More amazing than you are now."
"You think?" Her croak makes her think of her crows even more. Her breathing is worsening, but he imagines that the tightness in her chest is loosening because it's not going up as much.
"Definitely," Tobias says looking at her.
She looks at his face instead of the black spots going all over. They're just crows, Tobias said so himself. But they're getting closer since they're becoming bigger, and more of them are joining the massive flock. Or maybe it's just her eyes closing. From the serum of course. Tobias says one last thing. "Be brave."
"Of course," she answers. It's just a simulation after all, and she's Divergent. She'll be back to him in a matter of seconds, she knows it.
And the last thing she sees are his eyes.