a/n; This is written for December'sRose's fanfiction contest. No flames, please.

My second Twilight fic, also on Leah Clearwater.

And when she says "Jake-cob" it's because she's used to thinking of him as "Jake", but doesn't want to say that out loud. So it ends up sounding like "Jayccub", or something.

pairing(s); Leah/Embry, mention of Leah/Jacob, Leah/Sam, Sam/Emily, Jacob/Renesmee.

warning(s); cussing.

disclaimer; don't own Twilight or Faint by Linkin Park

New York, New York

I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard

Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see these scars

I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel

But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real

So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do

Face away and pretend that I'm not

But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

xx

Never mind. It doesn't matter. I'm fine. I love New York, really.

All the phrases were so easy to pull off as a human. Nobody really paid attention to me, anyway, so that helped.

I didn't want people to know how badly I was broken. Shattered, never to be put back together again.

I miss Seth.

I've been here, in New York, for seven months now, taking yoga classes to control my anger. Only problem with that was, I only see Seth once every few months.

I couldn't even go to LaPush for Christmas. Mom never forgave me.

At the wedding, I was fine. Perfectly fine, actually. Better than I thought I'd be. I just pretended Emily was getting married to someone else - someone faceless - and it made me a much cheerier bridesmaid.

What set me off was the news, a month after, of the child in Emily's stomach. I snapped. I packed my bags that night, ignoring Seth's pleas that Mom needed us both, and ran, literally, to New York City.

I could never give Sam, or anyone, for that matter, what Emily could. I'm a genetic dead end.

She came to find me, you know. Not Emily. The other one. I can't even think her name. She was only, physically, about 12 years old. But she traveled, all by herself, to see me.

And she apologized. For what, I'm not exactly sure. But she told me she was sorry, with her eyes all teary and whatnot, and then turned around and ran back to Forks.

That was the last I heard from anyone but Seth. Till now.

I'm just hanging with a few girlfriends at a nightclub. They said I needed some fun. Right. Cause that's possible.

I just finished lamenting my aloneness - all four of my friends went off, giggling, to dance drunkenly with some older guys.

All I can do is stare at my drink. But for reasons unknown, even to myself, I look up and my eyes are met by another set, across the room.

Looking down instantly, I feel my heart accelerate. Was that who I think it was?

Just to be safe, I'll leave the club. I can't take the chance.

I set my beer on the bar and walk quickly out the door, my head bowed. Before I can get to my Jeep, a big hand closes around my wrist. It's searing hot. Definitely someone I'm avoiding.

Breathing heavily, I close my eyes and begin talking.

"Listen to me. I don't care if you're my fucking alpha, I will break your arm off. You know full well how capable I am of that. Are we understood? Good. I'm giving you two seconds to get your hand the fuck away from me." I snap, wrenching my arm away. A dry chuckle comes from behind me. I still don't open my eyes.

"Lee-ahh. I just wanted to say hi." A voice much quieter and softer than I was expecting. My eyes fly open. Who is that?

Curiosity getting the better of me, I slowly turn and face my old packmate.

Woah. Am I getting shorter or something?

I literally had to tilt my head up - farther than I would've if it was Jake - to see a set of hazel eyes staring, a cautious grin, black hair falling around his face like a frame.

"Embry?" I probably sound shocked. I am shocked. What's Embry doing in New York? The only possible explanation - Jake needed me in the pack again. My eyes narrow. I'm never going back. Jake can't make me.

He chuckles again and nods, putting his hands in his jean pockets and leaning on the brick wall.

His eyes are searching mine for something other than my initial surprise at seeing him. He's not gonna be disappointed.

"Did Jake-cob send you?" I say scornfully, mad at myself for almost calling our pack leader Jake. I only ever call him that in my human mind. Embry raises an eyebrow with a smirk; he caught the slip.

"No, actually. I wasn't even looking for you. I just needed..."

"Away?"

"Yeah. That's the word."

We stare at each other for a long time, before giggles start erupting from me. It escalates into a fit of hysteria, that he can't help laughing at either. Suddenly I'm hugging him, and I'm crying, but not quite sure why, and he's laughing harder.

Eventually, he pulls away, still chortling. He grins down at me, much more at ease now. He tugs on a strand of my hair and I duck away like Seth does every time I try kissing his head.

"So, Leah. Tellin' me anything about your new life? Or do I hafta force it out?" He teases. I stick my tongue out at him - a childish gesture.

I don't know how it happens, but I tell him everything. About missing Seth and Mom so much it hurts; about how much Emily being pregnant eats at me; about her coming to my apartment, apologizing for some mystery reason; everything.

I finish my long story on a slightly shrill note. We're both sitting on the ground, sprawled out like we're hanging in LaPush again, not some random parking lot of a shady nightclub in New York.

"But I've got a few friends. They're inside right now. Plus, there's some pretty good advantages to not being a wolf again. Let's list them, shall we? Not having your thoughts thrown to your brother and an immature idiot and some guy who never pays attention anyway and the guy you thought you'd get together with but didn't because of stupid her and hey maybe that's why she came to apologize I mean her dad can read people's thoughts the filthy bloodsucker and I'm much much happier in New York anyway and -"

Before my voice gets any higher or quicker, Embry puts his large hand over my mouth. I bite him. He cringes with a smirk.

"I'm gonna try to break that down. Seth, yeah. You don't want your brother knowing exactly what you're thinking all the time - that would suck pretty bad. And Quil IS an immature idiot, no arguments there. Ehh, it wasn't that I didn't pay attention, as such, I just didn't want to face things you brought up constantly. Parentage, anyone? And that brings us to...Jake."

I flinch away from the cold, hard truth of his words. I was a harpy. Jake was right.

"You really thought that? Probably not consciously, or we'd all know. And, uh...that possibly wouldn't be good. Possibly. Okay, probably...fine, definitely. So, Emily isn't the only reason you left."

Damnit, how does he know me so well? Ah, yes. He used to see my thoughts. He knows me better than my mother does. I simply nod. He nods, too, thoughtful. I brace myself for another question about Jake.

"Where do you live?"

Um. Okay. So not the question I was expecting.

Taken aback, I blurt my address. Hazel eyes roll.

"Yes, yes. And that's all lovely. Apartment, right? How many bedrooms?"

Now I'm really getting suspicious.

"Twooo..." I eye him, drawing the word out like bubblegum. He grins a very wolfish grin.

"You should let me live with you. I'm bored. I hate LaPush. I hate being a wolf, now, too. Please?"

I briefly wonder why he suddenly hates everything. And then panic sets in.

"What? You? Embry Call? Living? In my apartment?" I stutter. His eyes roll again.

"Nooo. That hobo. Chewbob. Dead. In a dumpster." I punch his arm, and to my satisfaction, he winces.

A great sigh heaves from my throat.

"Fi-ine. But if you so much as try to tell Quil, Jake-cob, Seth, anyone, about what I just told you - all of it! - you will be deader than those stupid leeches." I mean it to be a threat, my eyes narrow and teeth clench. He laughs.

"I'm not entirely sure deader is a word. But lets try and work this out, hm?"

So we do.

And I'm not sure how I manage it, but I survive a month and a half in the same apartment with an increasingly annoying sixteen year old. I'm proud of myself for not snapping.

Nobody knows where I am. Nobody knows he's with me.

So when the doorbell rings in the middle of Embry trying to cook bacon - which, by the way, ends in disaster involving lots of grease and a large burn on the back of my neck - and I jostle to get to the door before him. I've become much more childish with him around.

He gets there first and sticks his tongue out at me, opening the door.

"Emmbryyyyy!" I complain, pouting. He chuckles and wipes grease on my face. That's when we both notice the person standing at the door. Or should I say people.

Seth, his mouth slightly open, was obviously the doorbell ringer, his hand was still raised; Quil, sniggering quietly, but still shocked; Mom, holding a plate of her famous peanut butter cookies and looking like she's about to drop them; Sam, stunned, but happy; and Jake. Who is just plain floored.

I bet my face is priceless, too.

Embry simply doubles over with laughter.

"I...I...I think w-we ha-have g-g-g-guests!" He chokes out. I nudge him with my hip and he falls over, continuing his fit of mirth.

Sam's the first to recover. He smiles warmly. I smile back, tentatively, and then kick Embry with my foot in what I think is a subtle manner.

He finally gets up, controlling himself, and his grin is so wide I fear it may crack his face open.

Quil continued snickering.

"So, are you two, like, dating? Or what?" Jake manages out between his teeth. I look over at Embry at the same time he looks at me.

He grins. I roll my eyes. He throws a heavy arm around my shoulders.

"Sure. Why not?"

And we both start laughing, and everyone but Jake and Seth join in. Seth looks pissed off that I didn't tell him - even though, before, there wasn't anything to tell - and Jake just plain looks confused.

I've gained a few pounds since moving to New York, and when Embry puts his arms around my stomach, everyone gets the wrong assumption.

We don't bother to correct their thoughts. They'll find out soon enough.

But I have more important things to worry about.

Like the fact that Embry forgot to turn off the stove.

"You friggin' idiot! You could've burned our entire apartment building down! Why didn't you turn off the stove!?" I shouted through the flat. A familiar dry chuckle answered.

And it wasn't a lie anymore.

Never mind. It doesn't matter. I'm fine. I love New York, really.

xx

I can't feel the way I did before

Don't turn your back on me

I won't be ignored

a/n; So I hope that wasn't too horrible or confusing. I hate present tense. Stupid 'flexing my creative mind muscles' or whatever. I hope you all really did like it though - I'm a fan of Leah/Embry and Leah/Jacob - is it obvious?