Hello there!
This is my very first fanfic! I'm nervous and very excited. I love the Alt!Liv and Red!Lincoln branch of Fringe and I'm really hoping they get together soon! I wrote this story after watching 6:02amEST. I was really happy with their scene, even though I would have loved for it to have been a whole 45 min episode of just the two of them.
I never write fics. I always just read them. However, the Alt!liv/Red!Lincoln thread is stilll pretty bare and I got sick of waiting for more stories to pop up so I decided to write something myself. It helped that I had the 4 day easter break off college :D
As the summary says, this is a missing scene from 6:02am EST. It's Olivia coming to Lincoln with the information she got from the Secretary and asking him for help. So it's after they head to Liberty Island for a fringe event and are told to stand down, and before the scene in Olivia's apartment saying goodbye.
This is rated T for language.
Disclaimer: I dont own anything but my birthday was just last week so if Seth Gabel wants to pay me a visit I wont object! ;)
Enjoy!
Agent Lee was sitting in his office at Fringe Division Headquarters, filling up paper work for the day's missions, including the one the Secretary of Defence himself ordered down. It's a tedious, never ending part of his duties as the new head of the division. In many ways he missed his old job: all the fun, none of the responsibility. He even still had hope that Agent Broyles would be found and Lincoln could go back to his little desk right behind Olivia's and Charlie's. At least he got a pay raise. His thoughts of using his next pay check to buy a hover board were interrupted by a knock on his door. Behind the class doors stood Olivia Dunham. He could see she looked distressed. He turned away from his paperwork and motioned for her to come in.
"Lincoln, I need your help." She said as soon as she stepped in the door.
Lincoln's thoughts immediately turned to Henry. "What is it? Is Henry ok?"
"No no, he's fine." She calmed him. "I can't talk about it here. Can we go to my place?" He knew Olivia Dunham very well and he could tell that right now, she meant business. He also knew what she had meant earlier in the day after they were told to stand down on response to a possible Level 10 vortex in the DoD. She went to talk to the Secretary. He has also learnt that anything involving the Secretary could not be good news. He was not looking forward to this.
"This is about the fringe event today at Liberty Island isn't it?"
Olivia nodded.
If the thought of talking about whatever it was that she learned from the Secretary was not Lincoln's idea of fun, it was nothing compared to the prospect of being alone with Olivia in her apartment. They hadn't been alone together since the birth of Henry (and even then there was taxi driver between her legs). The first two weeks after the birth were easy because Olivia was out on maternity leave. Of course Lincoln was there at her apartment helping her with Henry more often than not, but there was usually someone else there too. Marilyn, or Charlie, even on one occasion Agent Farnsworth. And when they were alone Lincoln was usually baby-sitting while Olivia showered or slept, or they went grocery shopping together, or he baby proofed the apartment while she bathed and changed the boy. "Olivia…" He started, hoping to postpone this until a time when he could find another excuse not to go.
"Linc, please." She begged. And that's all it took. He could never say no to her if she needed him.
Sighting he stood from this desk and grabbed his jacket hanging from the back of the chair. "Ok, of course. Let's go."
The car ride was mostly silent. Olivia could feel Lincoln's mood going south by the minute with his monosyllabic answers to her questions and attempts at conversation. Not even the mention of Charlie and his blooming relationship with bug girl was enough to get a decent response out of him. Once at the apartment complex, he parked the car and reached into the back seat to get his stuff. Olivia couldn't help a little smile when she saw the baby car seat Lincoln had bought for his car just two days after Henry was born. Lincoln had driven her and Henry home from the hospital 3 weeks ago and so bought the car seat so Henry would be safe. When Olivia thanked him for buying her the car seat he laughed and told her that car seat was his and that she'd have to get her own. The real surprise was when they walked into her apartment and she saw that he had bought her not only a car seat but also a crib and a changing table.
"I just have to relief the nanny." Olivia said once they reached the door of her apartment, coming back from the memory of Henry's first day at home.
"Yes, that's fine."
Olivia unlocked the door and entered the apartment with Lincoln behind her. "Hello, Mary? I'm home!" She called.
Mary came into the living room from somewhere deeper in the apartment with a smile on her face. "Hi Olivia. You're early." She greeted.
"Yes, well, work was light today. This is Lincoln, my boss. Lincoln, this is Mary."
"Hello, Mary, it's nice to meet you." Lincoln said with a warm smile and offering his hand for her to shake.
"It's nice to meet you too." Mary said.
"Where's the monster?" Lincoln asked her.
Mary laughed at the adorable nickname. "Ha, he's in his crib. But he's sleeping right now so he's quite the little angel." Just as she finished her sentence Henry started crying from his crib, almost as if he knew people were talking about him. "Ops, I spoke too soon I guess." The all laughed.
"I'll go get him." Olivia said, starting to put her work things down on the couch, but Lincoln stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm.
"No, let me." He said smiling and left the room in search for the baby.
Mary smiled a knowing smile. "He's very handsome." She said.
Olivia blushed slightly. "Ha, hum, yeah. He is." She knew that Marilyn had undoubtedly told Mary all about how charming Lincoln was and how doting he was on Olivia and Henry.
Mary nodded in agreement. "I should go then." She said with little subtlety.
Olivia blushed harder and started correcting the older woman before she gave up. "No. I mean, yes. Thank you, for watching him today."
"It's was not a problem. I adore the little guy. I'll see you next week." Mary said collecting her things from the coffee table and heading towards to front door.
"Ok, I'll see you then. Thank you again." Olivia opens the door and lets the woman out. "Bye."
"You're welcome. Good bye." Mary walks down the hall towards the stairs and Olivia shuts the door closed behind her.
Olivia turns back to the apartment and sees Lincoln entering the living room with Henry in his arms. She noticed that he is no longer wearing his jacket and must have dropped it somewhere inside the apartment. "Mary said goodbye." Olivia informs him.
"Hum." He acknowledges that he heard her but does not take his eyes from Henry, who is grabbing onto Lincoln's t shirt. "Where did you find her?" He asks Olivia.
"She's a friend of my mother's." She answers, knowing full well where he is going with this. "She's safe." She adds and Lincoln finally looks up at her.
"I wasn't suggesting otherwise." He says shortly.
She wants to break the tension between them but she doesn't know how to. She starts talking but he interrupts her. "Lincoln-"
"I think he's hungry." Immediately he regrets it. He does want to postpone talking about what she wants to tell him but he certainly doesn't want to be rude to her.
"Right" Olivia answers downheartedly, looking to the floor. "I'll heat up his bottle." She head to the kitchen and pulls a ready bottle from the fridge and pops it into the microwave.
Lincoln turns his focus back to Henry. The baby stopped crying as soon as Lincoln picked him up earlier but is still being fussy. "It is ok, monster. Food is coming. Don't cry."
Olivia watches Lincoln interact with her son while the milk warms. "Do you want to do it?" She says once the microwave dings.
"No, you do it. Mother-son bonding time and all that." She hands him the warm bottle and hi transfers the baby from his arm onto hers. "Everyone knows the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach." He adds, trying to be nicer to her while testing the milk temperature on his forearm, even though he saw Olivia do it just seconds before.
Olivia settles with Henry on the couch and he hands her the bottle. "Ha! Then he's a guy through and through. I am right, peanut?" She offers the baby the bottle and he takes it gratefully.
They sit in silence for a little while, Olivia on the couch, Lincoln on the coffee table, both just watching Henry eat. Lincoln then stands up and starts pacing the living room. He knows there's no postponing it anymore.
"What's wrong, Lincoln?" Olivia knows he is fidgety but doesn't exactly understand why he's acting so on edge.
Lincoln lets out a sigh. "I just know I'm going to hate whatever it is that you're going to tell me. The Secretary, I don't… I don't like him. I never did. My father didn't like him either. Always said he was weird. Him sending you over there; keeping the other Olivia here; brain washing her; not telling us about it. And the way he looks at Henry, like he's his secret weapon or something. I don't like it."
"I don't, either." Olivia answers calmly, brushing one finger on Henry's cheek while he drinks.
"You went to talk to him today."
"Yes."
"And?"
"Long story short, when the other Walter Bishop came and kidnapped Peter Bishop, over 20 years ago, he made the fabric of our universe weaker."
Lincoln sits back down on the coffee table. "Yes, I know. That's why we have all the fringe events."
"Yes. Well, the secretary has this machine, which can destroy their universe making our fringe events stop." She stops there knowing Lincoln will follow the train of thought she expects him to follow.
"Wait, when you say "destroy", what do you mean? Like, universal genocide?"
"Yes, exactly like that." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "The secretary turned this machine on today."
"What?" Lincoln is instantly shocked.
"The fringe event today? It's the machine. It's in the DoD. The other universe should already be experiencing some early vortex signs."
"That's insane! Do they even have the technology to stop it? Amber? Any of it?"
"No, they really don't."
Lincoln stands back up and resumes pacing. "So he's really going to just kill everyone there? He can't do that!"
"I know. I know." Olivia answers just as exasperated as him. "And Lincoln, I can't believe that is has to be this way. It can't be a either us or them situation. There must be a way for both universes to survive."
He stops pacing to look at her. "What are you thinking?"
"I want to cross over." Just rip the band aid right off, Olivia thinks to herself.
"Cross over?" He repeats her words, almost to make sure that's what she really said. Of course that's what she said… this is Olivia Dunham after all. "No."
She knows this is going to be his first reaction and is ready to argue her point. "Lincoln-". But he stops her.
"Olivia. No. Absolutely not!"
"But Lincoln, I can help!"
"How?" He asks raising his voice. "The last time you were there they arrested you! What makes you think they are going to welcome your visit?"
"I can talk to them. Explain what's happening, try to stop it." She tries to make him see reason but also resorts to raising her voice.
"Oh, and they wont automatically assume you're a mole, again?" He says sarcastically."
"I can convince them!"
"Ok, let's say you get there and they don't kill you at first sight. You manage to convince them that you're on their side and that you want to help. Then what? You're stuck in a universe that is breaking apart by the second, with no technology to stop it or to even predict it. You're just going to get sucked into a vortex and die! You're not going and that's final!"
If there's one thing that pisses Olivia off is people telling her she can't do something. "You know, one of the reasons I wanted to have this conversation here and not at head quarters is that this isn't a Fringe Division mission. I'm going with or without your help!"
"Oh yeah?" Lincoln yells.
"YEAH!" Olivia yells back. That is enough for Henry to start crying again. They look down at the baby and Olivia notices that during the argument he lost his grip on the bottle so she brings it back to his mouth and he latches on again. The adults stop screaming at each other and are silent for a few seconds.
"You don't have to worry about me." Olivia says with a quiet voice, but Lincoln is still far from calm.
"Oh! Ok, that makes me feel better!"
"I never planned on staying there for any length of time anyway. All I want is to bring Peter back here!"
"Peter Bishop?" Lincoln asks angry. "Why? What does Peter Bishop have to do with any of this?"
"I don't know the whole story, and the little I know I don't really understand, but I have this gut feeling that whatever this is Peter is in the middle of it. He can help." She says exasperated, trying to convince Lincoln.
"A gut feeling?" He says disbelieving.
"Yes." She can see he doesn't believe her and that angers her even further.
"You love him?" He blurts out before he can stop himself. He's just too angry to contain himself.
Now it's Olivia's turn to be in disbelief. "Is that what this is about?" She raises her voice again.
"What?"
"Jealousy?" She says incredulously. "You're willing to let a whole universe worth of people DIE because you're jealous?" Now she's yelling at him again.
"Maybe I am JEALOUS! SO WHAT?" The yelling disturbs the baby he starts wailing again. The adults turn away from each other and Lincoln runs an unsteady hand over his messy hair. When Henry doesn't stop right away Lincoln turns back to Olivia. "Here, let me take him." Lincoln takes Henry from Olivia, puts the bottle down on the coffee table and starts bouncing the baby in his arms. "Ssh. It's ok, buddy. We're ruining dinner time for you, aren't we? I'm sorry." They stay silent for a few moments even after Henry calms down again.
"He really likes you." Olivia says quietly.
Lincoln sighs. "The feeling is mutual." They are silent for a little while longer until Olivia breaks it again.
"We never really talked about what you said, in china town." There it is: the conversation that Lincoln has been dreading for 3 weeks.
"I don't want to talk about it." He knows what he said. He knows she remembers. And he doesn't regret saying it. Not really. All he regrets is inevitably making things awkward for them when Olivia finally gets around to shooting him down.
"Maybe I do." She presses gently.
"Well, you don't." He says and she knows that what he is really saying is that she doesn't love him. "So what's there to talk about?"
She doesn't really have an answer to that. He's right. She doesn't love him. Not in the same way that he loves her, anyway. But he is her best friend in the world and she wants to love him. She even thinks she could love him, in time. But her not loving him is hurting him now, and that in turn hurts her. And she certainly doesn't want to loose his friendship in the mean time. Lincoln can see the dilemma in her face, and it breaks his heart. He knows that she is not in love with him. And that's ok with him, truly. He has been in this state of unrequited love for years. All he wants is for her to be happy. He sits down next to her on the couch, Henry still in his arms.
"Liv, nothing has changed. I promise you. Everything is just as it always was." He means that he'll always be her friend. That his friendship is independent on her loving him back. But all she hears is that he has always loved her and she has always not loved him back and that this is just as things are going to keep on going.
"But now I know."
"You always knew." He smiles lightly.
"Maybe I did. But I thought after I told you about Frank…It's been so long, I thought…" She means to say that she thought he would have gotten over it, over her. But she can't say it. It sounds rude inside her head.
"No." He doesn't need her to say if to know what she means.
"It's too soon, Linc…" She started to say, hope to somehow explain herself without hurting Lincoln any more.
"Liv, stop." He didn't want her to have to say anything. He wanted her to know that he was fine. "You don't have to worry about anything. Again, nothing has changed. I will always, always, be here for you, and Henry. Don't doubt that." He smiled at her.
"I don't." She sighed and placed her hand on top of his on the couch, smiling back at him.
"Ok" He thought he would feel calm wash over him after making her understand him, but he was wrong. Instead all he felt was guilt. The same guilt that he had been feeling ever since he was told that for weeks the Olivia they had here wasn't his Olivia, it was theirs. Suddenly he's too close to her, she's too happy at him, there isn't enough air in the room and he can't handle it anymore. He gets up off the couch and starts pacing again. Olivia can see that something shifted and he is in distress.
"Linc, what's wrong?" She tries to catch his hand again and pull him back onto the couch but he avoids her and keeps going back and forth in front of her.
"Liv, I have to get this off my chest! I hate it and it's been eating me the from inside. I don't understand it and it's driving me crazy!" He says exasperated.
"What is it?" He's starting to worry her.
He takes a deep breath and lets go, "I'm sorry, Liv. I'm sorry I didn't know. You where there and she was here and I didn't know. And I love you! And I still didn't know. Charlie, he knew! He knew she wasn't you and he tried to talk to me about it and I called him crazy. My head was so far up my own ass. I told him he was crazy, that I knew you and if she wasn't you I'd be able to tell. But I didn't. I looked at you, at her, and I loved you every day." Lincoln was talking almost like she wasn't in the room anymore, holding the baby close to his chest as if he thought if he didn't hold on to something he would disappear. "Every now and then something would be a little amiss and I just went with everyone else saying you were just emotional, and sensitive. But it was bullshit! She wasn't you and I didn't see it. And if you hadn't gone missing, and the fucking Secretary hadn't told me the truth… I would never have known. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He let it all out, very close to sobbing onto the little boy in his arms.
"Linc…" She wanted to stop him. Tell him that it wasn't his fault. That she didn't blame him, wasn't angry at him. Anything to make him stop hurting, but he interrupted her yet again.
Stopping in front of her and looking straight at her he asked. "And now I have to know. You own me that much. Were you ever going to tell me?"
A beat.
"I don't know."
"Fuck, Liv." He rubs his face with his free hand and resumes pacing.
"I was under orders not to tell anyone" He's about to interrupt her again but she powers on, reading his mind. "and I know that doesn't apply to us but… I… I'm not exactly proud of it, of what I did, specially now. So no, I wasn't going to tell you." She finishes looking down at her lap, fiddling with her hands. Lincoln sits next to her on the couch and stops her fidgeting by placing his hand on top of hers.
He sighs. "I hate myself for this."
"Don't hate yourself. Peter Bishop loves her and he didn't know either."
"I hate Peter Bishop too."
She can't help but chuckle at that. "Well, I don't hate you. I never could." She closes her hands around his, holding him in place. "And I wanted to thank you for being there when Henry was born, and everyday since. I couldn't have done it without you. I still couldn't do it without you."
He smiles at her and squeezes her hands with his. "You never have to. I promise." They stay in silence, watching Henry play with the collar of Lincoln's t shirt, for a few minutes, both thinking over their whole conversation, absorbing it. Then Lincoln breaks the silence turning the subject back to where it started. "Just retrieve Peter Bishop? In and out. That simple?"
"In and out." She promises.
"And if he doesn't want to come?"
"He'll come. Once he knows there's a chance he can stop it he'll come." She is sure of it.
"Ok." He concedes.
"Ok?" Olivia asks almost not believing what he just said.
"Ok. When do we leave?"
"We?" She asks confused. "We're not going anywhere. I'm going by myself."
"Excuse me?" He says with a smirk on his face, knowing she must be kidding. Just yanking his chain, so to speak.
Unfortunately for him, she's not. "I'm serious."
Immediately he's in disbelief again "You asked for my help!"
"Yes. I need you to stay here, with Henry." She places one of her hand on the baby's back and he makes a gurgle noise.
"Olivia, I'm barely letting you go at all! Now you want to go alone?" He wants to get up and pace again, but she stops him, lot letting him get up. She looks straight into his eyes and says the next words in the most serious voice she can muster.
"In china town you promised me you'd take care of my son. I need you to do just that. I need to know he's safe."
He can't argue with those eyes like that, with that voice. "I hate this." But he lets his feelings be known regardless.
"I know. I hate it too." Her voice is softer now.
He rubs his face with his hand again, cursing the heavens for being in this shitty situation and having little to do about it. "Damn it! Well, then, you have to tell me everything you know about this! How you're going, how you're getting back, where you'll be over there, who are the other people involved. Everything! In case I have to come and save your ass."
Olivia laughs. "Ok, I can do that."
"And I'm punching Peter Bishop in the face the first chance I get!"
"Sounds reasonable."