A/N: It is so typical, is it not, that the moment you say to yourself, "right, no more fanfiction stories," is the exact second that about twenty new ideas pop into your head and refuse point blank to go away. This is one said story of mine- enjoy.

Summary: Everybody has skeletons in their closets. Things that they don't want anyone else to see. Except Rose's aren't skeletons, and they're refusing to stay hidden away…

Disclaimer: Own the plot and Nuffink else.

≈ Chapter One: Wentley Park ≈

Chips!" The Doctor crowed as the TARDIS lurched around them with an almost fierce intensity. "Chips, chips, chips!"

"Uh...chips?" I asked dubiously as I stared at the crazy alien on the opposite side of the console. He shot me his trademark bonkers-crazy-with-a-twist-of-terminally-insane look, whooping with delight as his ship gave an extra-large lurch, catapulting him over the various bleeping and honking buttons and onto the floor in front of me.

He giggled and looked up at me, his face practically glowing with childish exuberance. I couldn't help but laugh as I stared at him- his excitement was contagious.

"You're high!" I managed through the laughter, and he winked at me as he sprang to his feet.

"High as a hatter! On a Saturday night- with Lindt chocolate and blue Smarties!" He replied- and I laughed at the sheer bizarity of the words he'd used. "Now... chips!"

"Chips?"

"Yes, chips! Chips, chips, chippity-chip-chips... what?" The Doctor only shot me an innocent look at my incredulous expression "Chips." He added, as an afterthought.

"Stop saying chips, you're making me hungry." As if agreeing with me, my stomach rumbled loudly. The Doctor gazed at me disapprovingly.

"There was no need for that, Miss Tyler!" he chastised, and then bounded away before I could reply. "Honestly, humans these days- so rude..." without pausing, he grabbed my hand and hauled me towards the door. His excitement seemed to have granted him super-human strength (unless, being a Time Lord, he'd already had that, which wouldn't have been surprising) and it was all I could do not to topple over and fall on my face in the most undignified fashion possible. I had no choice in the matter- where the Doctor dragged, I followed; albeit unwillingly, to his ecstatic cry;

"Come on, Tyler- the chips await! Woooooo!"

* * *

We ended up near home.

"You're telling me, Doctor," I said, trying as hard as I possibly could keep my tone neutral… and failing with enough drama to rival any actress in the land. "That you just nearly killed us with your god-awful driving skills- bounced off the TARDIS walls with ecstasy, and then almost yanked my arms off their sockets in your hurry… all to bring me within a mile of my mum's house?!"

He held up a newspaper in way of explanation- or redemption, I wasn't sure. I looked at the date curiously. "Well, four years into your past, if that helps?"

"Did you plan to bring us here, to a time when I am seventeen?" I asked, confused. The year somehow felt important, but I couldn't remember being seventeen very well; not after two years of trailing through time and space. Late-teenage angst sorta got swept away by all the monsters and aliens and stars that you saw with the Doctor.

The Doctor hesitated, grinning a small, innocent smile that screamed at me with the potential to bloom and erupt into something I considered far more dangerous; mischief. I glared at him suspiciously.

"What are you up to?"

That blazingly bright innocence was back- which left about as much impression on me as a cat-hair.

"Doctor." My voice was full of warning, and his innocent expression turned indignant.

"What?!" He cried at me. "What's wrong with chips? Do you have a problem with chips, Rose? DO YOU??!"

"Um… no?" I asked, fighting a smile as he looked at me with intense, passionate fury. He seemed very set on chips.

Immediately, his face relaxed into a smile. "Knew I'd win… anyway, Garfield's okay?"

"It's practically blasphemy for a Tyler to eat chips from any other chipshop!" I grinned, and allowed myself to be jerked away again. I had long ago abandoned ever having normal- length arms ever again. The Doctor seemed incurably obsessed with wrenching them away from my body at any opportunity he had.

And yet, for all the arm-pain that insane idiot caused me, he still had great hair. I could forgive him anything for that crazy mop.

* * *

"Mmmffph um grrg!"

"I beg your pardon?" I tried politely, still at loss at why a nine hundred year-old had no table manners. Actually, he probably did- most likely he just chose not to use them so he could see the surprised-disgusted look on my face every time he spewed chips at me. Which was often.

"Mmmmwf!" He tried again, trying and failing to make is already bizarre sentences legible over the twenty-something chips that were crammed into his mouth. Yep, I could still forgive him this as well… sort of.

The Doctor rolled his eyes- the only action he could do that didn't seem to require use of his over-worked mouth- at my confused/ repelled expression as I watched with quiet, disgusted fascination as he swallowed chip after chip in what I could only describe as the Speed of Scoffing. With one large- and very painful, it looked- gulp, the offending chips that were restricting use of his voice (and threatening to suffocate him at the same time) were swallowed, and the Doctor resumed his ten miles per hour speech pattern.

"I. Love. Chips!" He crowed, gesturing wildly with his hands- that were occupied, might I add, by two large portions of chips that he had been hording all to himself for the last five minutes. Whenever I tried to nab a stray chip from the pile(s), he shot me the evilest look he could muster, as if I'd just kicked his puppy and then squirted him with toothpaste. But, of course, any look of evilness and the Doctor combined just made him look sweet, like a seven year old trying to give you the evil eye.

"Chips, chips, chippity chippity chip chips"-

"Yes, alright calm down," I said, slight irritable at the fact that not only had the Doctor dragged me here and got himself forgiven about it before I'd even had time to think; he'd even managed to wheedle two large portions of chips out of me and horde them all to himself. I had yet to even get within an inch of the precious fried potatoes that he seemed to be viewing as edible gods. "We've been through the chip-speech already. I get it, love. You like chips."

The Doctor grinned at me, and then paused with a slightly shocked expression on his face. A chip stopped halfway to his mouth, looking slightly fatigued as it drooped on the pink (he'd insisted to the server-girl that he had pink forks) plastic fork with an almost resigned air, as it had given up hope of ever being munched on by a normal human who just wanted a nice chippy snack. He stared at me with wide, almost comically terrified eyes that made an image of a man's response to his girlfriend saying she wants to marry him look spring immediately to my mind.

"Er, what did you just call me, Rose?" He said, his voice a panicked squeak. I grinned evilly to myself as I realised what I'd said and what he was obviously thinking.

"Oh, but I love you so much." I simpered, inching closer to him, barely restraining my laughter as the Doctor practically jumped backwards off the park bench.

"Er, I was just asking you for chips, Rose." He said, almost falling off the edge of the bench as he stared at me with a terrified look on his face. He held up the chip bags to me, as if as proof, or a shield for him to hide behind from my 'advances'.

Finally, I could contain my giggles no longer. He peeped over from behind the chips as I exploded into uncontrollably laughter, his brown eyes wide and fearful, as he expected this to be another progression of attack. Then he realised that I had tears of exuberance pouring downs my face, and straightened, coughing.

"Erm, yeah." The Doctor mumbled, at loss of what to say. Instead, to save himself further embarrassment, he stuffed a chip into his- for once- empty mouth and chewed as the world itself depended on it.

A/N: Love the last paragraph there! Also, I have a very strict quota for how long or short my chapters are- no less than 1200, preferably no more than 2000. It's easy for you lot out there to read, so I tend to break chapters up- like I did with this one. So, if the endings on some chapters aren't that great, it's because I realised I needed to split it into two chapters and the event didn't call for suspense. Enjoy anyway!