Ray stifled a yawn as he shuffled into the warm kitchen. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee mixed with that of biscuits slowly brought him closer to consciousness. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and hid another yawn behind his slender hand. His blond spikes were trying out a new experiment and veered off in several different directions. The morning sunshine cast shades of honey throughout each spike.
"Good morning, Ray," Fraser said with a trace of cheerfulness in his voice as he handed Ray a steaming cup of 'get up and go'. He felt the slightest transfer of heat when his cold fingers brushed against Ray's warm slender ones.
"Morning, Ben." Ray graciously accepted the cup and let a smile bloom on his face when he realized Fraser had already doctored it with his usual dose of chocolate. "Thank God for coffee."
"I agree. The coffee bean is quite possibly one of His finest creations." Fraser smiled at his partner. He turned his attention towards the stove. "I uh, made you your favorite, biscuits and bacon."
"My favorite huh? That your way of apologizing?" Ray asked coldly, his words casting a chill over the warm kitchen.
Fraser stopped, coffee pot frozen in mid-air as he began to pour himself a cup. "I just thought you would like a warm breakfast for a change. I gather I was wrong." Fraser returned his coffee mug to the cupboard and the carafe to the coffee maker. "I'm trying to make an effort here, Ray."
Ray dropped his head forward and gave Fraser a quick nod. "I'm sorry. Thank you." He motioned towards the empty barstool across the counter. "You going to join me or do I have to eat my favorite breakfast alone?"
Ray threw the damp towel onto the top of his desk and glared at Fraser. "Why? Why is it every time you have one of your hair brained ideas, I'm the one that ends up covered in some form of disgusting slop?"
"I told you there was a pot hole and that you should avoid hitting it. Why are you upset with me? You were the one driving." Fraser picked up the towel and hung it up on the coat rack behind his chair to air dry.
"Don't do that. Do not turn this around on me." Ray jabbed a finger in Fraser's direction. "You told me to follow that guy down the alley." Ray ran his fingers through his damp blonde hair making it stand on end.
"And I also told you there was a pot hole." Fraser stated matter of fact as he returned to his chair opposite an angry Ray.
Throwing his hands up in the air, Ray scowled at his partner. "Fraser, you can't avoid a pot hole in an alley. It's not like you can just swerve to miss it. God, this is what I get for always listening to you."
"I offered to change the tire, Ray." Fraser added with a tilt of his head and a quick knuckle swipe to the eyebrow.
Fraser sounded apologetic but Ray didn't care. He was cold, soaked through and beyond pissed off. "Just shut up and don't talk to me for the rest of the day."
A teasing smile spread across Fraser's lips. "So, I probably shouldn't tell you that you missed a spot behind your ear?"
"Wouldn't be one of your better ideas right now," Ray replied with a scowl.
His shoulders dropped slightly as Fraser sat back in his chair, the grin vanishing as quickly as it emerged. "Understood, Ray."
Frannie stood on her tip-toes while peering through the blinds of Lieutenant Welsh's old office. "Okay, Ray's mad at Fraser. Maybe this isn't the best time to do this." She turned, gauging her brother's response.
"Kowalski's been mad at Benny for the past two weeks. If this plan is going to work, you have to do it soon or it's not going to work at all." He joined Francesca at the blinds and took a look for himself. Fraser was sitting stiffly opposite Kowalski, both engrossed in paperwork and neither one speaking. "What happened between them anyway?"
"Ray wouldn't tell me when I asked him last week. Just said they were working through some issues. Fraser say anything to you?" Frannie peered over her shoulder at her brother, searching for an answer as to what was bothering her two friends.
Vecchio shook his head. "No, he was pretty tight lipped about whatever is going on between them. Okay, Frannie, now or never. Get out there."
Francesca emerged from her brother's new office with a file folder tucked under her arm. "Good, you're both here so I can catch you at the same time. The 2-7 is participating in this fundraiser to help disadvantaged youth. We're selling raffle tickets to help raise money. Lots of great prizes are going to be raffled off and I'm in charge of selling tickets. You two are the last ones I need to ask." Frannie tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She waggled her eyebrows at Ray and smiled broadly. "Top prize is a romantic get-away for two."
Ray refused to hide the laugh that was building. "Fraser wouldn't know romance if it bit him in the ass."
"That's not entirely true. If you recall…" Fraser stopped mid- sentence when Ray glared across the desk at him. "As much as I would love to stay and listen to you degrade my romantic abilities, I really should get to the Consulate and begin my day there." He rose from his chair and stepped around Francesca.
Frannie grabbed at Fraser's elbow to halt his retreat. "Fraser…"
"Frannie, Fraser doesn't gamble. And even if he did, the odds of one of us winning the top prize are… well, they're impossible."
Fraser turned his attention back towards his partner. "Actually, Ray, the odds are based on how many tickets are available, how many are actually sold and…"
"Why do you have to do that?" Ray glared angrily at the Mountie.
"Francesca, may I make a donation instead?" Fraser ignored his partner.
"Yeah, that would be great, Frase. What about you Ray? How about you try and win this romantic retreat for you and Fraser."
The blond detective shook his head refusing. "Forget it, if Fraser doesn't want to try and win, neither do I. Here's a twenty. Keep your tickets, let someone else win the romantic get- away." Ray leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.
"But…" Frannie stammered as Ray scowled once again in Fraser's direction.
Ray narrowed his eyes and shifted his gaze towards Francesca. "Hey, where the hell have you been the last few days anyway, Frannie? I'm still waiting on that report on the Lewis case."
Francesca waved her hand in Ray's direction, dismissing his question. "I've been out. Don't you worry about where I've been. You'll get your report when I'm done with it. The guy's going to jail for a long time, not like you need it this very second."
Frannie hustled back into her brother's office. "Well, that didn't work. Just gave me twenty bucks instead."
Ray Vecchio patted his sister on the shoulder. "Follow me, I have an idea. I've got Kowalski's number." Fraser was placing his Stetson atop his head when his friend clapped him on the shoulder. "Where you going, Benny?"
"I have some things to take care of at the Consulate. Constable Turnbull is out for the remainder of the week and the Inspector, well, to put it mildly… is eager for my prompt return." Fraser turned to his partner. "Shall I pick up dinner?"
Kowalski nodded, the earlier argument slowly fading. When Fraser looked at him a certain way, like he was now with those slate blue eyes and that damn tongue sneaking out, teasing Ray as it wet his lower lip, it was hard to stay mad at him for too long. "Make it Chinese and you got yourself a date."
"Chinese it is." Fraser straightened his hat and nodded to his friends. "I'll see you later then."
Vecchio watched his friend's retreating form then turned his attention back to Kowalski and Francesca. "Frannie, you still got some of those raffle tickets left? Kowalski and Benny didn't buy them all up did they?"
Frannie grinned. Her brother was a genius. "Of course I have some left. Would you like some? Maybe you will win the top prize. You can take that new gal you've been seeing."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many did Kowalski get?" Vecchio grinned and the laugh lines showed around his eyes.
"Oh, Ray didn't want any tickets."
"Excellent. My odds just improved considerably." Vecchio laced his fingers together and cracked his knuckles. "I'll take five."
Kowalski jumped out of his seat. "I changed my mind. Frannie, I want ten." He winked at Ray. "Maybe I want that romantic get- away after all. I'll just drag Fraser's unromantic ass along with me."
"Is there a limit to the number of tickets someone can buy, Francesca?" Ray asked his sister coyly. "I think my lady friend would like to get away for a week."
"No, you can get as many as you like. It's all for a good cause." She set her files down on Kowalski's desk and slid her slender wrist through the roll of tickets to begin counting out how many each Ray was requesting.
"Yeah… yeah, good cause and all, I just want to make sure I win that vacation. Do you know how many Florida vacations I had to give up while I was partnered with Benny? I'm finally due for some sand, sun and relaxation. Especially since Kowalski says he and Fraser don't have a chance of winning." Vecchio pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and flipped it open. "Make it ten more."
Kowalski pulled out his own wallet. "Frannie, I want my original twenty, plus twenty more." He gave Vecchio another wink. "And a tissue for your brother."
"Benny wouldn't approve of you trying to one up me, Kowalski."
"Well, Ben's not here… is he? Give me twenty more, Frannie."
"May the best man win," Vecchio replied with a smirk. He turned on his heel and retreated to his office. "That's how you do it, Frannie."
Ray stretched his long arm out over the back of the car seat and squeezed Fraser's right shoulder. "I cannot believe I actually won that raffle, Ben." He chuckled and rubbed his stubbled jaw with his free hand. "You should have seen Vecchio's face when Frannie gave me the prize package. If looks could kill, I would be a dead man. Although, it's not like he has anyone to take on a romantic get- away. He says he has someone… but I don't buy it. I mean, have you seen him with anyone outside of work besides us? Me… on the other hand," Ray gave Ben's shoulder a tender squeeze. "I've got you, even if you are stubborn and bull-headed."
Fraser leaned his head back on his lover's arm and closed his eyes, basking in the closeness of Ray's body. Fraser sighed as he leaned into the crook of Ray's arm. It was good to hear his partner in better spirits. "I'm glad you bought those tickets." He rubbed his hand softly on Ray's thigh. "Did Francesca say where we were going?"
Ray wriggled closer to Fraser and brought his arm away from the back of the seat, wrapping it around Ben's. He locked their fingers together and rested his head on Ben's shoulder. "I forget the name of the town, but it's a cabin on a lake somewhere." Ray laughed and squeezed Ben's hand. "Hey, thank God it's not like a trip to Disney World or something." That earned Ray a chuckle in return. "Can you see us walking around in matching Mickey Mouse hats? Oh God, some people's ideas of romance scare me. "
"Indeed. That's not exactly my idea of romantic either with all those people and fairly-tale images. No, I prefer the quiet," Fraser confessed into the quiet of the car. He turned his head towards Ray and gave him a small smile. "This will be good for us, Ray. Alone, just the two of us, no distractions."
Ray's smile faded. "Yeah, I hope so." He leaned forward and kissed Ben lightly before drawing back. "We're due for some alone time."
"How much longer do we have?" Fraser questioned with a yawn.
"Frannie said it was a few hours from Chicago. Our driver is supposed to drop us off and then be back in a week to get us. I'm still pissed that the Goat had to break down before we left. I would have liked to have driven there ourselves." Ray elbowed Fraser softly in the side. "What the hell did you do to it anyway? You were just supposed to drive it home from the station." Ray rolled his eyes when Fraser just shrugged. "Frannie did say that everything we will need is already at the cabin." Ray smiled at his partner who was fading fast, nearly asleep. "It was a long night, Ben. Relax and I will wake you when we get there."
Fraser opened his eyes half-way. "I told you that Ray told me he would take your car to his mechanic while we were gone and have it looked at. I'm sure it's something simple." He tried to hide another yawn behind his hand, the long hours from the previous night on a stakeout finally catching up with him.
"Ben, I can fix simple. You should have just left it alone." Ray slouched further into the seat's embrace and pouted. "I don't want him driving the Goat."
"He will treat it with the upmost care." Fraser rested his head against Ray's shoulder and didn't bother hiding the yawn this time.
"Yeah, he'll probably drive it into the lake."
"Ray, he'll do no such thing. I asked him if he would take it to his repairman and have it looked at while we were away. It's the least I could do. I was the last one to drive it, therefore my responsibility to ensure that it is in perfect running condition when we return."
"And how do you know he won't ding the paint out of retaliation for me driving his puke green Riv in the lake?"
"Because I asked him not to."
"Well, in that case..."
Ray bolted upright in his seat when the driver of the car slammed on the brakes. "What the fuck? We hit something?" he yelled as he tried to bring his breathing back under control.
The momentum and screeching of tires on wet pavement jarred Fraser awake as his body crashed into the back of Ray's. He swallowed a curse as he rubbed the pain away from his forehead. He stretched his shoulders then cracked his neck. Fraser straightened himself in the back seat and peered out the side window of the car. "When did it start raining?"
"Started raining cats and dogs about an hour ago." The driver was staring at them through the rearview mirror, a smirk plastered on his face. "You two were out cold, slept through all the thunder and lightning. Must have had a rough night, huh?"
"You have no idea." Ray replied, wiping the condensation off his own window so he could see how the weather had taken a turn for the worse. "So, why'd you stop?"
"Yeah, sorry about slamming on the brakes. This is your road. Leads back to the cabin, but the storm knocked a tree down across the road. I can't get through. You fellas are gonna have to hoof it the rest of the way." The driver turned on the windshield defogger and the wipers to a quicker pace. "Looks like the wind's picking up a notch as well."
"It's raining…" Ray stated, anger rising to the surface. "Or did your awesome power of observation momentarily overlook that little fact?" Ray defiantly folded his arms and sank against the backseat.
"Ray…"
"What? It's pouring down rain, Fraser. I am not… emphasis on the not… walking in the rain. I will sit right here in the backseat of this car until it stops raining or that tree gets moved."
"Well, that's not going to be possible. I'm on a tight schedule so you're either going to have to walk in the rain, or stand here in the rain, because I have to get back to Chicago."
"Come on Ray, it's just up the lane. We can towel each other off when we get there."
"I'd rather strangle you with a towel right now. How far is it back there? I can't see a cabin from here." Ray craned his neck, but saw no further than the first bend in the dirt road, surrounded on either side by trees painted in autumn foliage.
"Oh, not more than a hundred yards. Just around that bend. I'd take another way in…"
"Yes, let's do that." Ray cut the driver off, agreeing with the man.
"But… there's no other way. Sorry, man."
"What a great way to start off our vacation, Fraser. We get to walk in the pouring rain for God only knows how long. I better not catch my death or you are going to catch yours."
"The romantic part would be the toweling each other off, Ray." Fraser gave his partner a smile followed by a quick wink, hoping to put him in better spirits.
"Shut up… you are so not making this situation any better with your 'every cloud has a silver lining' antidote."
Fraser sighed, trying to let his annoyance in Ray's behavior show through. "Just as you're not making it any better by complaining about a situation we have no control over. How about I give you my hat?"
Ray thought about the offer before him and the alternative. "Then, I agree to walk in the pouring rain with you."
"You two actually on a romantic vacation, huh? Hmm, couldn't tell."
The driver popped the trunk and Ray and Fraser stepped out into the hammering rain. The thunder clapped and Ray jumped, grabbing for Ben's arm. The heavy downpour had immediately flattened his hair. "Hey, you promised me your hat." Ray swiped the rain from his face as he motioned towards Fraser's head.
A small smile appeared on his face as Fraser placed his Stetson on top of Ray's wet head. "That I did." Fraser gave his lover's shoulder a tender squeeze. "We'll walk fast."
"Hand me my bag and let's get a move on. I expect a head to toe towel drying from you once we reach this cabin." Ray winked at Fraser as he adjusted the Stetson on his head, his mood lifting slightly.
Fraser retrieved his small duffle and knapsack and turned to Ray. "Your bags aren't here."
"Well, this is fan-fucking-tastic, Ben," Ray hollered over the erupting thunder, once again instantly angry. "I get to get soaked to the bone and I have no clothes to change into once we reach the cabin. Best start to a vacation… ever."
Ray pressed his body against the back of Fraser and burrowed his wet nose into Fraser's neck. "I'm freezing, I have no clothes to change into and I have a really bad feeling the electric is out in this place… and I'm pretty sure that guy knew that this cabin was further than he let on. He just wanted us out of his car so he could hi-tail it back to Chicago and calmer weather." He tucked his hands into his armpits and pressed himself further into Fraser's back to get out of the wind.
"He does give new meaning to 'just around the bend' doesn't he?" Fraser worked the key into the lock and jiggled the handle until the door squeaked open. He gave his partner a reassuring smile and surprised Ray with a quick kiss. "At least it stopped raining." He nodded toward the open door. "Shall we?"
Ray stepped around Fraser through the open door and was met with chilled air. "It's not any warmer in here than it is out there but at least there isn't any wind." Fraser followed Ray into the cabin and pulled the door closed behind him, shutting out the whistling wind. He found a switch on the wall and flipped it on. Nothing. Ray threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Marvelous… not only do I not have any dry clothes, but the fucking power is out as well."
"Ray…"
"Shut up, Ben. Unless you can find the magic switch that turns on the electric, I don't want to hear how romantic any of this is at the moment. It's not… okay. It sucks."
Fraser dropped his bag to the floor and opened up his knapsack, pulling out a flashlight. He flicked it on and shone it on Ray's face. "Proper preparation, Ray."
Ray glared at his partner and folded his arms against the onslaught of shivers. "Don't start, Ben. Now is not the time to be talking about proper preparation. I should have let Vecchio win. Nothing but rain, wind and cold here."
Fraser dropped his arm and the flashlight beam lit up the floor around his soggy feet. "Why are you directing all this animosity towards me? I didn't ask for it to rain, Ray. I didn't tell the cab driver to forget your bag on the curb. Look…" he motioned with chilled fingers towards the far wall of the cabin. "There's a fireplace. How about I build us a fire and we can get you warmed up."
Ray grumbled and shivered, finally releasing a sigh. "I'm sorry. I was hoping this vacation thing would help patch things up between us. You and me finally alone, no distractions. But shit just keeps happening and you aren't even phased by it. And the less you seem fazed, the more pissed off I get with you."
"There's no point in getting mad over something we have no control over."
"I'll be mad if I want to be mad." Water droplets dripped off Ray's ear lobes as he shivered again.
"Ray…"
"No, don't 'Ray' me. I'm not the one that walked out, Ben. You know with the exception of a few meals together and work, I've hardly seen you for the past two weeks. Maybe I was wrong to think that this vacation would help."
"I thought perhaps you were in need of some space."
"I never asked you to leave, Ben."
"No, you didn't." Fraser flicked off the flashlight and dropped it onto his open knapsack. "But you didn't ask me to stay either."
"God this is so fucked up." Ray took off his wet jacket and dropped it on the floor where he stood. Fraser glanced at the jacket and fought back the urge to hang it up to dry. The glance didn't go unnoticed by the blond detective. "You're a niggler, Ben. You pick apart the smallest things and it drives me nuts. We're supposed to be on a vacation and so far all I've done is argue with you." Ray threw his hands up in the air and turned to lean on the couch. "You don't even argue back. Just find the bright and happy silver lining in everything. I'm tired of all these silent, one-sided fights with you. Yell and scream at me, at least then I will know why you were so mad that you walked out on me."
"That's asking me to be someone I'm not, Ray. Telling you how I feel is obviously something I need to work on."
"Ben, it's not just about us at home, it's about us in every situation. You never trust me to make decisions regarding our partnership or our relationship. You always have to be the one in control. It's always me trusting and following you. Up ladders, across rooftops, down alleys. Why can't you trust me for once?"
Fraser was taken aback at the accusation, hurt casting brief shadows of doubt across his face. "I do trust you. How can you think that I don't?"
"Then why don't you listen to me? Huh? I tell you to stop, wait for back-up… you keep on walking towards a loaded gun. I tell you the ladder and roof aren't the best options to apprehend someone, you follow their sorry asses up two stories anyway." Ray shrugged, running his fingers through his wet hair. "I don't get it, Ben. Maybe, I've got it all backwards, maybe it's me I don't trust."
"What do you mean?" Fraser was confused.
"Maybe I don't trust that I will be able to protect you when you jump in front of a gun or take off up a rickety fire escape. You ever think that's why I'm so against you always being so brave and bold. What happens when I'm not quick enough? What happens when all it takes is for some crazy to be a split-second faster than me? Huh? Then what?" Ray pointed a slender finger at Fraser. "I'll tell you… then I lose the best thing that's ever happened to me… that's what. Because you're too fucking stubborn to listen to let someone else make a decision regarding your life."
"God, Ray… I do trust you. If I didn't trust your decisions or if I had any doubt at all about your ability to protect me, I wouldn't make the decisions I do. I trust you more than anyone with my life."
"We're partners, remember… a duet. There has to be more give and take and that means listening to me for a change."
"I find it rather difficult to just shut off fifteen years of instinct of relying solely on myself. In the territories, quite often you worked alone, you had to trust your own instincts. If you didn't, you died. I can't just turn that off."
"Just like I can't turn off having loved Stella for all those years. I'm not in love with her anymore, but I will always love her. Ben, you accused me of having an affair with her. You know how much that hurt?"
"Yes… as much as it hurt me to come home and see you two on the couch together."
"You never let me explain. You just threw these accusations at me, wouldn't talk to me and then you walked out."
"I know." Fraser dropped his head, unable to look Ray in the eye. His voice was quiet and quivered when he finally spoke. "Upon reflection, I realize that I over-reacted. I should have listened to you when you told me it was nothing. I'm terribly sorry, Ray. Every time I tried to apologize or tried to make it right, you were always bringing her up. I'm not proud to admit that I harbor a hinge of jealousy regarding your relationship with Stella."
"You know why I was always talking with Stella?"
"I have no idea. Your conversations always gave the appearance of being quite private."
"I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong that was pushing you away. I thought maybe if I could figure out what went wrong in Stella's and my relationship, I could fix it in ours."
"Ray, no two relationships are the same."
"It never dawned on me that my relationship with Stella was part of the problem."
"I over-reacted and I made a terrible accusation and I'm sorry. I will be the first to admit that I am no good at navigating romantic relationships."
"Yeah, well, I second that opinion."
"Ray, I'm really trying to apologize for what I said and for leaving. I was wrong. I made a horrible mistake."
"I know. It's just that I can't just forget that you said it either. I love you, Ben, and what you said killed me."
"I know. I hate myself for how I've handled everything."
"I've never cheated on anybody in my life."
"And I've never had anybody love me as deeply as you do and I assumed all the wrong things when I saw you and Stella together at home. I can't explain my reaction as anything but jealousy. I've never been married, and I wrongly assumed that you were missing that part of your life and that's why you've been spending so much time with her."
"You know… you really need to learn to relax about things."
Fraser opened his duffel bag and pulled out a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt and handed them to Ray. "Here. Why don't you change and get warmed up? I could use some fresh air."
Ray accepted the sweats from Fraser and gave him a small nod. Fraser disappeared out the sliding glass door of the cabin and Ray sank onto the back of the couch hanging his head, wondering how they were going to fix themselves. He loved Fraser, but to be accused of something as terrible as having an affair, he couldn't just let it go.
Ray stripped off his wet t-shirt and was about to add it to his jacket on the floor when a picture frame on the end table caught his attention. Shivering, he slipped on Fraser's sweatshirt and breathed deeply. Fraser's scent filled his nose and Ray sighed. He missed being close to him, missed holding him, missed loving him. He wrapped his arms around himself and breathed again. He would figure out how to fix them.
Making his way to the end table, Ray picked up the framed picture and frowned in confusion. Encased in the brushed nickel frame was a picture of Fraser and him at Ray Vecchio's birthday party almost a year ago. Arms slung over each other's shoulders, easy smiles bloomed on their faces. It was the first time Fraser had told Ray he loved him. Ray blushed at the memory of Fraser pushing him out the back door for some fresh air, the Vecchio clan becoming too overbearing. He slid into Ray's personal space and pulled him close. The words had flowed out so easily, Ray thought Ben had rehearsed them for days. Ben's cheeks flushed pink and Ray had never felt a deeper love than what he felt for the man wrapped in his arms.
Something was going on here. Ray was trying to wrap his brain around how a picture of him and Fraser ended up in a cabin that he won a raffle to. He set the picture frame back on the end table and set out fumbling in the dark for Ben's flashlight. He knew it was on his bag, if he could just locate the damn thing without breaking his neck. His chilled fingers finally connected with the cold metal. Success. Switching it on, he shone the beam over the living area of the cabin.
The flash light illuminated several other framed photographs resting on the mantle above the fireplace. Ray made his way over and picked up the first one. It was a group photo of Vecchio, Frannie, Fraser and Ray taken by Ma Vecchio three months after Ray had come home from Vegas. They were a family. Ray set that photo down and picked up the next one. This one had been taken by Francesca the previous summer. They had had dinner with the Vecchios and were enjoying coffee on the back porch together. Sitting hip to hip on the porch swing, Frannie had told them more than once to 'get a room'.
Ray studied the memory in his hands and suddenly he got it. It all made sense now, almost. He wondered how Fraser managed all of this. It wasn't like he was ever gone for long periods of time. The cabin was a good four hours from Chicago, so it wasn't like he could just pop over. Even though he hadn't stayed at the apartment for the better part of a week, it still didn't give him enough time to do all of this. There was a jar of M&M's next to the coffee pot. Familiar afghans were carefully draped over the back of the couch. He found the bathroom and noticed it was stocked with everything both him and Fraser used at home, right down to the same brand of toothbrush. Ray's exploration of the cabin led him to the doorway leading to the bedroom. It too was decorated with more photos of them along with group photos including their friends. Out of curiosity, he pulled open a dresser drawer and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips and lifted his spirits. Ben had filled a dresser with clothes for both of them. Boxers, socks, jeans, t-shirts and sweatshirts. Everything they needed, if say they got soaked to the bone in the pouring rain. He opened up the closet door and found more clothes. Pulling out one of Fraser's jackets, Ray knew he had to help make things right between them. They both had been wrong, they both had faults, and Ray knew they had to fix themselves... together.
This took planning and it took time and Ray's stomach did a flip-flop. Fraser had been making them a home. No wonder he had such an adverse reaction to seeing him and Stella together. Ray palm slapped his forehead. 'God, why didn't he say something about all of this?' The flickering of lights momentarily distracted him. 'Greatness… the power is back on.'
Retreating to the kitchen, Ray opened cupboard doors to reveal canned goods and cooking supplies. "Coffee. We need coffee." He filled the coffee pot with grounds and smiled warmly when he realized Fraser had bought his favorite brand, Caribou Daybreak. Ray started to hum a happy tune. They were going to get through this after all. He poured two mugs full of coffee, grabbed Fraser's jacket he found in the closet and paused at the sliding glass door. The sun had appeared from behind the clouds and the wind had died down considerably. Fraser was at the end of the pier, gazing out over the lake. 'You look cold, Ben,' Ray thought to himself. Fraser's arms were wrapped tightly around his body and Ray detected the slightest shiver.
He slid the door open, the chilly air taking his breath away. Ray shivered and set out on a quick pace to the pier. The rain soaked leaves stuck to his boots and he hastened his pace, the cool air bit through Fraser's worn sweatshirt. When he reached the pier, he hesitated once again before stepping onto the rickety wood planks. The old thing didn't look too safe, but he figured if Fraser thought it was safe enough to walk out on it, that meant it was and that was good enough for him.
The hot mugs of coffee were keeping his hands warm and he was almost reluctant to hand one over to his partner. "Hey…" he said quietly.
"Hey…" came the quiet acknowledgement. Fraser continued to stare out over the calm lake. The water lapped around the posts anchoring the rickety pier in a quiet steady rhythm.
Ray studied the side of his partner's face. He knew Fraser well enough to know when he retreated within himself and put on the Mountie mask. The 'thank-you kindlys returned in full force like a Yukon winter. The man before him was still Ben. His Ben. Fraser's cheeks were flushed and Ray would almost swear that those were dry tear tracks running towards his jawline. "I uh, thought you might be cold so I made us some coffee." He pushed the steaming mug into Fraser's cold fingers and gave him a warm smile. "And I found you a jacket. The electricity's back on in the cabin too." Ray glanced towards the cabin and back at Fraser whose gaze never left the distant shoreline. "I uh, thought you might need a little breathing room, so I took a look around."
Fraser accepted the mug and jacket, his eyes not quite connecting with Ray's. "I've really made a mess of things, haven't I?" He finally turned to face his partner.
"No…" Ray shook his head and stepped closer. "We've made a mess of things. You aren't the only one to blame. Maybe if I tried out some of your positive thinking on a regular basis, I wouldn't keep backing you into a corner."
"I love you, Ray." Steel blue eyes filled with moisture and Fraser sniffled. "I never meant to hurt you."
"I know." Ray set his mug down on the railing at the end of the pier and turned to lean against it. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets to not only warm them up, but to hide his nervousness. "This whole raffle vacation thing… was just an elaborate setup, wasn't it?"
It was several quiet moments before Fraser shook his head. He didn't trust his own voice to respond with words.
"How'd you do it all? And why didn't you tell me, Ben?"
Finally finding his voice, Fraser responded quietly. "I wanted it to be a surprise. I found the cabin by accident while looking through the newspaper one morning. I thought we needed a place for us to go to, when we wanted to get away from the city that was closer than my cabin in the Territories. I was going to surprise you with it. I bought it three months ago and Francesca has been kind enough to help clean it up and get it ready for us. I had not actually been to the property itself before we arrived a little while ago." Fraser let out a small chuckle. "I had no idea it was a mile and a half down a rocky lane."
"So… that's where Frannie's been." Ray rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "Vecchio in on it as well?"
"I'm afraid so. I needed their help getting it ready. And then I really needed their help, after I messed things up so badly between us." He tugged on his left ear and leaned a little towards Ray. "And your car's in the garage."
"What?" Ray asked confused. "I thought you said…"
"There's nothing wrong with it. All part of the surprise. We can take our time driving back if we are so inclined."
"That's part of our problem isn't it?" Ray asked softly. "We never get any 'us' time."
"It's mostly my fault." Fraser admitted into the gentle wind. "I'm the one who can't ever say no to anyone."
"You do have a knack for being the 'go-to' guy that everyone relies on."
Fraser shrugged slightly. "My grandparents taught me at a young age that everyone needs help at some point in their lives. If you can lend a hand, you do."
"I get that, Ben, but people take advantage of you and you let them."
"I know. It's something I need to learn to differentiate between, real 'needs' and say Huey's 'wants'.
"I can help with that." Ray smiled and slid closer into Fraser's personal space. "Just walk through the damn door already… you don't have to hold it open for the world."
"I will work on that." Fraser smiled and pulled Ray close. He grew serious once again, staring into Ray's bright blue eyes. "Are we going to be okay?"
Ray pressed his hand against Fraser's chest and resisted for a moment. He needed Ben to hear it one last time. "There's nothing going on between Stella and me."
"I know… and I trust you."
Ray slid his slender body even closer. "Then as long as we're together, I think so. I'm lost without you, Ben. Incomplete. Every time you walk into the room, my heart does this little fluttering thing and it takes me a moment to catch my breath. You do that to me… every time."
"God… I love you." Fraser pressed a kiss to Ray's cold lips, spreading some warmth between them.
"Let's go in and build that fire you were talking about." Ray slid his arm around Fraser's waist and a curious smile tugged on the corner of his lip. "Hey, what if I never bought any tickets? Then what would you have done? And tell Frannie I want my money back."
A lopsided grin appeared on Fraser's lips as he tugged on his left ear. "Well, then I was going to resort to kidnapping."
Ray shifted closer into Fraser's embrace. "You are aware… kidnapping is illegal in the state of Illinois? And what makes you think I wouldn't have come willingly?"
"You had been very angry with me and I could barely get you to eat dinner with me." Fraser hesitated for a moment. "I'm sorry, I should have known you would have come."
"I would have. I love you, Ben. That's never changed." Ray slid closer to Fraser, wrapping his arm tightly around his waist. "So, tell me about this cabin of yours."
"Ours…" Fraser corrected.
"Ours…" Ray had to admit he liked the sound of that.
They walked hand in hand towards the cabin and the pier creaked under their footsteps. Fraser stopped abruptly, pulling Ray to a halt beside him. A confused expression crossed Ray's face as Fraser stepped closer to him, pushed him backwards towards the wooden railing and pressed their mouths together. Ray parted his lips and welcomed Fraser's tongue. A firm hand pulled at the back of Ray's neck, pulling their mouths closer together. Fraser couldn't get enough.
Fraser pulled back for some much needed air and pressed his forehead against Ray's. Fraser's frozen breath mixed with that of Ray's in the chilly afternoon. Strong fingers stroked Ray's cold cheeks and danced across his moist lips. Ray had unconsciously parted his legs and Fraser had stepped forward and filled the void, pressing their groins together.
"I waited too long to kiss you like that." Fraser admitted breathlessly into Ray's ear.
"I recall something about a towel drying…" Ray mumbled as Fraser began dropping dedicated kisses to his neck.
"Ah yes… head to toe," Fraser ran his hands down the length of Ray's torso and breathed deeply. "God, I've missed being close to you."
Ray pushed off the railing, slipped a hand around Ben's neck and pulled their mouths and bodies together. He backed Fraser off the pier towards the cabin. "I'll help you get out of those wet clothes."
Ray rested contently on the couch covered with an afghan as Fraser added another log to the dying fire. He watched as the muscles in Fraser's back flexed under the weight of the wood and then relaxed as he released it onto the growing pile in the fireplace. Fraser stoked the fire to life with the poker before replacing the protective screen. Ray slid against the back of the couch and pulled the afghan back to let Fraser join him. The warm body against his brought a smile to his face again.
"And you said I don't know how to be romantic," Fraser whispered into Ray's ear as he nuzzled his neck with his chilled nose.
"I stand corrected."
When they had returned to the cabin, they wasted no time stripping each other of their wet clothing. Ray even relented and let Fraser take a moment to throw the wet clothing into the bathroom. He emerged from the bathroom carrying a plush bath towel and Ray shivered with anticipation. Fraser approached slowly, the dark blue towel dangling from his fingers, his hair mussed up from the wind and rain. 'It's a good look on him,' Ray thought to himself when he brought his own slender hands up to run through the damp hair of his lover.
Fraser pressed him towards the bedroom and their new bed, their wet naked skin dancing together in one rhythmic motion. He brought the towel up to Ray's face, soaking up the dampness on his forehead and from behind his ears. He draped it behind Ray's shoulders and with both hands, ran it up the back of his head, drawing the moisture out of the blonde's hair. He worked the towel down Ray's back and over the curve of his ass, pulling Ray in for a devouring kiss. Ray's breathing hitched when their naked bodies touched. Closing his eyes, he dropped his head backwards and Fraser began licking away the water droplets on Ray's chest. He carefully wrapped the towel around one slender arm and dried from shoulder to fingertips. He repeated the gesture on Ray's opposite side. Fraser dedicated himself to his task.
Ray moaned with pleasure as Fraser worked his way down each of Ray's slender legs to the tips of his toes. He gasped and drew in a ragged breath when Fraser took his cock into his warm mouth. He swirled his tongue around the length of the hardened member and carefully dragged his teeth from the base to the tip.
Ray clutched Fraser's shoulders tightly, trying to keep himself grounded. The warmth enveloping his dick was setting off fireworks in the rest of his body. If Fraser didn't stop with the tongue action soon he was going to…
"Ben…" he panted breathlessly. "You gotta… or I'm gonna… oh God."
Fraser drew his mouth down the length of Ray's cock one last time before reluctantly releasing him. He rose and pressed their lips and bodies together, tumbling the pair onto the king sized bed. Ray stretched up the length of the bed, his beautiful naked body open for Fraser. Fraser covered the length of Ray's body with his own, kissing his exposed skin at random. His strong hands never left Ray's smooth skin and started exploring the dips and curves of his lover's slender frame as if they had never touched him before.
Ray's skin was soft and warming quickly under Ben's touch. Unconsciously, he spread his legs and Fraser shifted, creating more friction between their growing erections. One hand left Ray's body and fumbled with the drawer to the nightstand. He brought out a bottle of lube and worked the cap open with his teeth. He brought his own fingers to his mouth and sucked them in, wetting them, before returning them to Ray's body. He trailed his damp fingers up Ray's side, down the length of his arms and locked their fingers together.
Ray gasped again when a slippery finger from Fraser's other hand slid effortlessly inside him. Fraser was one sly devil. He opened and closed their clasped fingers as he slid a second finger inside Ray. He brought Ray's fingers to his mouth and sucked them in one at a time, giving each one its own attention. Having Fraser sucking intently on his fingers was almost as pleasurable as the growing friction between their cocks. The blond closed his eyes, lost in the feeling of Fraser taking control of his body.
When Fraser drew Ray's ring finger inside his mouth, he withdrew his own fingers and positioned his cock between Ray's cheeks. As he pushed himself in, he worked a silver and blue band down the length of Ray's slim finger with his tongue.
Confused blue eyes flashed open and shut again as Fraser pushed himself deeper inside. He released Ray's finger from his mouth and wove their hands together again. Fraser slowed his thrusting and kissed Ray deeply, all tongue and teeth and swollen lips.
"Ben…" Ray said, confusion mixed with arousal and his breath caught again as Fraser continued to move slowly inside him. The shiny silver band paired with the matching blue of Fraser's eyes on his finger distracted him. "Ben…" he called for his lover's attention again.
Fraser caressed Ray's cheek with his thumb and kissed his red swollen lips again. "I want to be with you forever."
"Forever?" Ray panted as Fraser shifted inside him.
"Yes… forever."
"God… me too. I've missed you, Ben. Being close to you, holding you…" Ray pressed his lips to Ben's and kissed him hard. "I missed your taste, your touch, your hands on me." His breathing quickened as one of Fraser's hands settled on his hip. His thumb caressing the dip above Ray's hip bone.
Fraser knew what Ray wanted, knew what Ray needed, what they both needed. He attached his lips to Ray's neck, trailing butterfly kisses down along his raised collarbone. Fraser's tongue never tired of teasing Ray's skin. He swirled it over the warming flesh, leaving behind a tingling trail that sent shivers to all of Ray's extremities. Ray let go as Fraser rocked with more urgency into his body. Moments later, Fraser joined him over the edge of bliss.
They lay tangled together under the thick comforter on the bed. Arms and legs entwined until they were only one body, one soul… connected through the sheer force of love. Fraser's head was resting on Ray's shoulder, his steady breaths warming Ray's neck. Ray trailed his fingers up and down the length of Ben's arm, his eyes never leaving the shiny band circling his finger.
"Ben…" he called quietly.
"Hmm…" came the sleepy reply. He stilled Ray's traveling fingers by locking them with his own and drawing them to his chest.
"You realize we can't…" Ray hesitated and continued unsure. "That it's not… that it wouldn't be…"
"I know, Ray. Perhaps one day it will be."
"But you still…" Ray glanced at the ring again against his tan skin.
"I want you to know that I am yours, and I'm willing to wait until it is."
"I take back everything I ever said about you being unromantic." He kissed Fraser deeply and snuggled closer to his warm body. His stomach growled and he swallowed trying to keep it quiet.
"Are you hungry Ray?" Fraser lifted his head from Ray's shoulder and eyed him curiously.
"Your bat ears heard that, huh?" He blushed and rolled his eyes when Ben nodded. "Yeah, a little." His hunger made itself known with another growl from below the covers. "Okay, maybe a lot hungry."
"Come along, I have another surprise." He pulled Ray into a sitting position. Fraser went to the dresser and pulled out boxers and jeans for both of them and handed one set off to Ray as he finally made his way to the edge of the bed. "Have you ever had sushi?"
"Like 'raw fish' sushi?" Ray questioned, already knowing and slightly dreading the answer. "Umm that would be a 'no'."
"It's more than just raw fish, Ray. Think of it as eating a piece of art. It's quite a beautiful food when prepared and presented on a platter." Fraser slipped one leg into his jeans and hesitated, his head snapped up when a thought suddenly struck him. "You don't have any shell fish allergies, do you?" He slipped his other leg into his jeans and pulled them up. "Because that could end rather badly if you were. I'm not entirely sure where the nearest hospital is and even though we do have your car here, there is still a tree at the end of the lane. Oh dear…"
Ray chuckled and shimmied into his own pair of jeans. "Finally, something you're unprepared for?" Ray laughed again. "What's that about 'proper preparation', Ben?" He went to the dresser and retrieved each of them a t-shirt. He slipped Fraser's shirt over his head and pulled it down over his torso, smoothing the material down over his muscular chest. He brushed his lips across Fraser's. "No, I'm not allergic to fish. I'll try anything for you. But where are we going to get sushi? We can't even get out of the lane, there's a tree remember."
Fraser pulled Ray into the kitchen and pulled out a bar stool for him. "Ah, I ordered some and Francesca and Ray delivered it this morning, along with your car."
Ray's brows drew close together in confusion. "But how? I mean, they were at the station until we left this morning. I talked to them on the phone when we left the stakeout and handed it over to Huey and Dewey."
A tug to the ear and Ray knew he had been had. "The stakeout wasn't exactly a stakeout."
"What was it then?"
"A diversion so Ray and Francesca could get your car here without you knowing."
"You are sneaky, aren't you?" He pulled Fraser's head close and kissed him. He sighed and let go. "So, what kind of sushi are we eating?"
"Well, I ordered several different types of rolls." Fraser opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beautiful platter full of different varieties of sushi rolls. "There is salmon, tuna, soft shell crab…" Fraser smiled when Ray licked his lips. "Looks delicious, doesn't it?"
"I've always heard of sushi and thought of slimy chewy pieces of fish covered in rice. But this…" Ray gestured towards the platter before him on the counter. "This looks incredible."
"Each one has a name," Fraser began as he pulled a thin box from one of the shelves and opened it revealing two sets of chopsticks.
Ray sat on the stool with his elbows resting comfortably on the counter. A smile played across his lips, slightly amused. "You have your own chopsticks?"
"Of course. Have you ever tried to use the ones the restaurants provide?" Fraser made a face. "I prefer my own."
"Frase, I've never used chopsticks. I'm not sure I could…" He was cut off when Ben came around the back of him, slipped his arms around Ray's mid-section and took Ray's hands into his own. He slipped a pair of bamboo chopsticks between Ray's fingers. Ray fumbled with them for a few moments before Ben stilled his fingers.
"The first stick, you tuck under the thumb and hold it firmly." Fraser showed him hand over hand. "Then adding the second," Fraser whispered above Ray's ear and he shuddered. "You hold it like you would a pencil… like this." Ambidextrous as he was, Fraser held his chopsticks confidently in his left hand as he helped Ray gain control of his own in his right. "Now, gently hold the first chopstick in the original position, move the second up and down, like this, and now you can pick up anything."
Ray struggled for a few moments with control and dexterity. He dropped them on more than one occasion and each time, Fraser patiently helped reset the bamboo sticks within his fingers. Then suddenly, it was if he had been using them for years. He beamed triumphantly at Fraser. "I think I got it, Ben."
"You're a natural." An affectionate smile tugged on the corners of his lips. "Your hands have their own rhythm." Fraser stared at Ray's hands for a moment and shivered. "I love your hands." He returned to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of white wine and held it up for Ray to see. "Francesca left us a gift. Shall I uncork it?"
Ray nodded and Ben filled two glasses before settling onto his own stool opposite Ray. He opened the container of soy sauce and poured it into a small saucer and set it on the counter between them. Then he picked up his chopsticks and spoke while his fingers worked the thin bamboo sticks. "First, I like to add a drop of the wasabi into the soy sauce, adds a fair amount of spice." Fraser demonstrated, stirring the wasabi into the brown sauce until it disappeared. "Then I choose a piece of sushi, this one is called a Rainbow Roll for the various types of fish on the outside, and dip it into the soy sauce before eating it." Fraser dipped the piece and carefully placed it into his mouth.
Ray sat mesmerized, toying with his own chopsticks in his hands.
"Your turn," Fraser said when he finally swallowed the last bit.
"Like this?" Ray asked as he maneuvered the sticks between his fingers and attempted to pick up a piece of the Rainbow Roll.
"Very well done, Ray."
Ray dipped the sushi into the soy sauce and hesitated before placing the piece in his mouth. With an encouraging nod from Fraser, he released it and began to chew slowly. The flavors of the fish, sauce, cucumber, avocado, rice and seaweed all mixed together in his mouth and he closed his eyes and sighed with content.
"You like it?" Fraser questioned with a grin.
A confirming nod and Ray swallowed twice before speaking. "That is amazing. What are the other rolls? And what's that white stuff that looks like shaved pieces turkey?"
A chuckle left Fraser's mouth before he could stop it. "That is ginger." He picked up a small piece with his chopstick and placed it into his mouth and chewed. "It helps cleanse the palate in between bites, so with each piece of sushi you eat, you can experience the full flavor of that piece of fish."
Ray tried his own piece of ginger and grinned. "Wow."
Fraser picked up the next piece of sushi and dipped it into the sauce before offering it to Ray. "This one is called the Hot Lover, my personal favorite."
Ray opened his mouth accepting the offered piece of sushi. He dragged his lips along the chopsticks as Fraser pulled them slowly from his mouth. His clever tongue circling the tips capturing the last of the sauce before they left his mouth. Fraser breathed deeply and enjoyed the sensual moment before him.
Repeating the gesture for his partner, Ray offered Fraser the Hot lover and enjoyed his own show of Fraser licking the chopsticks clean with that wickedly skillful tongue of his. Back and forth the couple fed each other.
"Can we take this to the living room?" Ray asked as he swallowed his latest bite. He picked up the platter and motioned for Ben to follow him. He set the platter on the floor in front of the couch. Turning to the shelf beside the fireplace he found a stereo and several copies of his favorite CD's. He picked an instrumental one with pianos mixed with stringed instruments. Ray turned to find himself wrapped in Fraser's embrace. Strong arms pulled him close and fingers worked through his short hair. Ray leaned into Ben's kiss.
Fraser pulled him to the floor beside the platter of colorful sushi. Ray sat opposite him and wrapped his long legs around Ben's waist. He felt Fraser's legs tuck around his backside. Alternating turns, they fed one another. Piece by piece the sushi disappeared. Kisses followed each piece of ginger as the two explored each other's mouths and bodies as they sat wrapped in each other's legs.
Ray pushed the platter to the side and pulled the chopsticks from Ben's fingers. Fraser's blue eyes didn't question as he slipped his shirt over his head and began to tug on Ben's. Ray helped them both out of their jeans and pulled Fraser towards the couch, his lips locked onto Fraser's neck. Ben took a step back.
"Let me rebuild the fire… I don't plan on leaving the couch for a very long time." He trailed his warms hands down Ray's sides before turning his attention towards the dying fire.
Ray slid onto the couch, pulling the afghan over himself. He let out a long sigh and smiled warmly at Fraser when he turned his head.
"This has been the most bizarre start to a romantic vacation, I have ever had." He continued to stare at Fraser's muscular back as he worked the logs into the fire.
He lifted the afghan for Fraser when he returned to the couch. Fraser slid in with ease and hooked a leg around Ray's. Their bodies fitting together as if that was how they were always meant to be.
"The first of many romantic get-aways." Fraser blushed when Ray kissed him hard and deep.
Surrounded by the warmth from a crackling fire, Ben and Ray lay nuzzled together on a couch, hidden in a cabin nestled deep in the woods. It is here… where they rediscovered their love.
