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The days have become much longer than before. When I was younger I felt like the days would fly by. The times with my friends would never seem like enough and the sun would barely tan my face before the moon would replace the warmth with the cast of its glow. I have been hidden in this room for twelve years now. I am not what I once was. I am only permitted to write this because an attendant is watching and ensuring I don't try to stab myself with this pencil. I am writing this to account for the possibility of my death or disappearance from here. I know he can reach me, I know he is toying with my reality. I am nothing but a doll to him but I feel my quality is gone to him. No longer do I cast a smile across his void of a face. Soon it will be time to end it all and he will be the one to give me quite a sendoff. If I hadn't gone out with my friends that night I would never have quelled his ritual and I would have lived a different life. I will start where all things start, in the preface.
I had been 17 years old once. I was the kicker for my high school's football team, the Eagles. My girlfriend, I will call her Rebecca, was the love of my life. We had been dating since we are about 15. I wonder what she looks like now. Actually, I don't want to think that. As my high school career was taking off to its final year, I had everything ahead of me. A girlfriend, a college scholarship, a supporting family, and some of the best friends anyone could ask for. I was into the usual teenage mischief; smoking some pot, drinking some beers, and having some good sex after it was all done. My friends were pretty diverse, mostly in the "jock" and "druggie" area. Partying was my pastime during the weekends. No one really gave that much effort in senior year because if colleges wouldn't select us by now they would be interested at all in the future. We had a place we would always go to after high school. We called it Two Stone because the only path into the area was identified by a large rock on either side of the path. It was close, secluded, and it was easily accessible. The woods just across the road from the high school seemed an unlikely choice but we made the best of it. It was normally used as the practice area for our Cross Country team but it was spring and the place was as desolate as any haunted house. Trying to remember what happened that night will take some effort but I will write it down to the best of my ability.
It had been a Friday. We got out early because someone set fire to the boys' locker room. In actuality it was just a trashcan that was lit on fire in the middle of a cement floor but the school had its rituals to go through with and we got out early. The sun was starting to finally stay high in the sky as spring spread its wings and we welcomed its embrace as we walked out. I remember the smell of fresh grass on the wind as we saw the new flower buds starting to blossom, some falling to the ground. Feeling it in my hair was incredible. I miss it so. My friends, let's call them Eric and Mike, had met me out at the front and were interested in buying a 20 sack for some celebratory fun. My body urged for the herb and I quickly agreed, placing my portion of the payment in Eric's hand. As we walked to the high school, Mike pulled out his phone and called up our friend, Alex, who always was ready to sell. We waited just inside Two Stone, leaning against the large rocks when we heard footsteps. It was Alex, as we could tell by his ICP hoodie he always wore. He had made special pockets in the hoodie so he could hide his stash and money whenever he needed to. It was quite brilliant. Well shortly after Alex arrived, he mentioned getting a small party going out here at Two Stone to celebrate our soon to be post high school selves. We knew Alex just wanted to find any reason to party so we went along with it, knowing he would bring booze and some extra bud for us. Alex left us to our toking and we quickly called up a few friends; Amie, Greg, Ian, and Beverly all agreed to come to the party. Mike chose to not go because he was expected at home to welcome back his cousin from his tour of duty in Iraq. We told him to say hey to his cousin for us, we both knew David really well, and went our separate ways.
The day quickly started to darken as we kept up our smoking into the sunset and finally went to the usual party spot at Two Stone we would use for such occasions. We heard approaching footsteps and quickly identified Beverly's huge smile she always had on her face and the others were with her. When Alex finally arrived, we whipped out Ian's bong and starting to take hits as we passed it around. The night becomes fuzzy to me here but I will recount it as best I can. I cannot remember how much time had passed except that it was very dark out, with only the moon lighting the area around us besides the fire we had lit. I needed to take a piss, as most would after four or five beers, and I stumbled over to the edge of the clearing. As I looked around trying to occupy myself I saw another fire off in the distance. I could hear talking from it just above the talking at our fire. I finished and asked everyone to be quiet so I could try to hear what the other group was saying. I managed to identify one of the voices as Andrew Welling, one of the emo kids at our school. We knew he was into the Wiccan rituals but had never seen him outside of school. I turned to Alex and Ian.
"Hey, I think that's Andrew Welling." Alex listened best he could through the herbal smoke that surrounded his head.
"Yeah man, you're right. Let's see what he's up to." I wasn't so sure I wanted to go over to Andrew because it sounded like he was chanting something but I just wasn't able to tell. Like any teenager at that age, peer pressure led me to join the entire group as we scratched our way through the brush towards the light of his fire. As we got closer we could see that Andrew was the only one there. Ian let out a snicker.
"Fucking creep." He said, trying to stifle himself so we wouldn't be heard. As we got closer to Andrew, I couldn't help but feel that there was something around us that was keeping an eye on our movements. However the liquor inside me was forcing my body to keep moving forward. Finally we broke into the area where Andrew was and his chanting had stopped. He looked over at us, the outline of his eyes caked in black makeup.
"What the fuck are you people doing here!" he screamed at us, "Leave me alone!"
"Shut up, kid," said Alex, "we were wondering if you had any beer and what the hell you were doing with your yelling way out here." Andrew glared at Alex. The two had a deep hatred for each other which I always did my best to avoid getting involved with. Before Andrew could respond I was suddenly struck by an unbelievable chill that overcame me. My vision became blurry and my limbs completely rigid. None of the others noticed as they were looking at Andrew. It was then I felt strange warmth behind me that started to overcome the chill. The blur of my vision was gone as I turned around to find a black mass behind me. I could feel the warmth and inviting stretch of his arms. He was calling me to come to him. I looked up to see a shirt and tie but my head would not go any further. I could tell he was very tall, at least 8 feet tall, and his long lanky arms appeared more like clothed tentacles. I should have been scared, I should have been terrified, but I wasn't. I looked into the black mass, and I wanted to be there. I started to walk towards him, my body locked and rigid with each step. I tried to look up but I could not see above the knot of the thing's tie. From the blackness of his suit came another set of arms. I could hear the almost silent call from the being as it overcame the yelling from Alex and Andrew. It was not until I had just touched the black mass when I heard a scream. I broke from the trance and turned around, seeing the entire group staring at me in absolute fear. I don't remember what happened next as I blacked out but I do remember I had grinned at them and started towards them. When I awoke there was the sound of sirens and flashing police lights. It was daytime, probably late morning. My head throbbed terribly as I sat up and saw the devastation around me. Alex, Greg, Amie, and Beverly each had sharp sticks in their throats, blood all over their clothes. Ian's head was caved in with a large rock that rested near his head. Andrew had apparently received the least gruesome death with his eyes nearly popped out of his head and his tongue hanging from his mouth a deep swollen purple. The cops found me stumbling around the clearing trying to understand what happened. I was swiftly taken away, but he never left my side. Every night in the following days did I see his long tall form pursuing me in every cell and every police car. Even when he was before me I did not see him so much as sense him. I knew he was there, his long limbs outstretched for me to go into his embrace once more. I fought it with all my might. At my trial I was declared criminally insane by the state and put into a psychiatric ward. It is here that I have been ever since.
Going from a 17 year old teenager to a 29 year old man, I can say that I feel I am going backwards. They say as you get older the days become quicker. But I must be in a new womb, for the days feel like years. Every time I see the clock I swear the hands are moving backwards. As if he is purposefully moving the clock back himself. Not just the clocks, however, he is keeping me here in my trapped world. This room, this world, is his to control and I am his to control as well. I act up when he wants me to, I attack others when he wants me to, I cry when he permits me, and he watches me as long as he desires. I have been at this table now for at least 4 days but only three minutes have passed according to the clock. He is standing behind me now, I can feel it. I will not survive the hour, however long he permits it to last. I admit I am afraid of what I will find on the other side. Is it warm like his embrace and his command? Or is it just a façade cast by a master to conceal the true horrors of hell that lie within his void. Whoever finds this, do not try to find me, for you will soon join me. Goodbye.
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