A.N I've just found a drabble maker and its my new favorite toy :L They are so out there that they must be shared!
I Saw Hermione Kissing Santa Claus
Sirius woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one filthy box that looked like an erection.
Then Sirius noticed that Hermione was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Sirius thought that he would surprise Hermione. Maybe even sneak up behind her and lick her on her bored lip. That always made Hermione curious.
Sirius crept boldly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its fragile lights, and the presents, heaped up eagerly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Hermione. Kissing someone.
Sirius was so angry, he picked up a cabbage from a table and threw it cleverly under the warm blanket.
They both looked around.
"Hermione, you misty penguin!" Sirius yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Sirius looked and then rubbed his hand and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Hermione said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a distinct kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Sirius said loudly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be hurt."
That seemed reasonable. Sirius went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a liar looking from forgiveness from the fire. He made Sirius's neck feel all aggressive.
"You see?" Hermione said arrogantly and Sirius saw. So they had a three way.
Everybody's presents were late.