Chapter One: Home Again.
Author's Note - This is my first ever story so please review it would mean a lot. Thanks!
Rachel knew it was time to stop pretending. She smiled to herself at the irony and then forced her thoughts away. She sat on the plane and ordered a double Vodka; she was going to need it. She tried to calm her thoughts down; she tried to convince herself, like she had been for years that it really wasn't that bad. That failing wasn't that bad. Thousands of people never have their dreams come true so really she's just another statistic. She hates that thought, she hates herself for being a failure, for being a statistic, and she hates herself for having to finally go home to Ohio because really she can't always live amongst the clouds.
Rachel downs her drink and tries to settle her nerves, she'll be landing soon and she'll have to explain herself. She'll have to explain why she never let anyone visit her in New York or why she never let her Dads come and watch her so called shows. They didn't know she was returning, she hadn't told anyone, except Kurt. She smiles to herself, who thought that friendship would have worked out. Not her, the seatbelt sign turned on to show it was time to land. She wondered if it were possible to order another drink but she knew all too well she couldn't. She took a deep breath and prayed that she wouldn't bump into any of the Glee kids before she got her act together. Before she could come up with a story and prepare herself for the sympathy head tilts and the hugs that said "maybe next time."
Sometimes life really enjoyed kicking you in the stomach and if she was honest she really hated it for it. Her flight arrived right on time and she thought of all the flights she had been on that had been delayed for hours. Why hadn't this one? She thought bitterly to herself. Kurt was waiting for her with his arms outstretch and a huge grin on his face, she smiled and ran into this arms and laughed when he complimented her clothes telling her "They didn't totally suck!" She'd changed a lot since she'd left and she'd be the first to admit it. She wasn't the silly naïve little girl she was in high school who thought she could have it all; fame, talent, love. No, she was much more realistic now and slightly pessimistic if truth be known.
The drive to Kurt's apartment was quiet, he knew she had to soak in coming home and he really didn't want to push her for answers or information on those long four years she'd been gone. She didn't ask questions either; if she was honest she didn't want to know how the other Glee kids were doing, how their lives had panned out. She was in fear too much, what if they had done better than her? When they got to the blue buildings that looked very much like they belonged by the English Seaside, Kurt showed her to her room. It had been his sewing and designing room so all of the materials and the sewing machine had to be moved into the living room.
"I only decorated it to a minimal because I thought it could be something you did for yourself." He smiled opening the door.
It was lovely, the walls were a very light pink, almost dusted and there was a big double bed which Rachel desperately wanted to curl up into and never wake up. There was a dressing table and vanity mirror which were white with a bowl of potpourri and some moisturisers and nail varnishes already set out.
She turned to him and smiled, tears glinting slightly, she hadn't had a room this nice in a long while. "Thank you Kurt. It's really beautiful." She set her bags down and sat on the bed.
"You're welcome, I was going to decorate it with a theme but right now the in trend is full blown leopard print and I wasn't sure you would be okay with it. Or if it would clash with any hideous stuffed toys you would bring with you!" Rachel laughed and swatted at him.
"So, fancy going out tonight?" He asked attentively, knowing the answer but desperate for her to actually go out and do something.
"No I'm kind of tired; I think I might just sleep." Rachel replied sliding her black heels off and curling up on the bed.
"No!" Kurt announced. Rachel stared at him, her mouth gaping slightly. "No, I shall not let you! You can't just lay there in self-pity. We are going to get you a little drunk and have a dance and meet some mildly attractive men. Okay?"
Rachel grinned sitting up; "Only mildly attractive?" she asked.
"Well this is only Lima Ohio Rach, not New York City-" he trailed off, realising his mistake and looking at her an apology in his eyes and forming on this tongue.
She waved a hand in the air to stop him, even if it did feel like a knife being taken to what was left of her fragile heart.
"So," She asked. "Where are we going tonight for these mildly attractive men?"