Summary: When Sakura first woke up and asked, "Who are you?" Syaoran smiled before he cried. Three ways to make Syaoran smile. Gen fic.
Author's note: This fic is dedicated to Carnett Rose. Thanks for choosing to stick by me, even through the painful times. I hope this fic succeeds in making you smile too.
Smile
01 Sakura
For someone he thought so often about, he had remarkably few words to describe how he felt about her.
When Sakura first woke up and asked, "Who are you?" Syaoran smiled before he cried.
She was alive, and that was what mattered.
(But there was no "Just call me Sakura" from her. It wasn't plain old Syaoran who smiled, either.)
His smile held a different meaning with her. "I'm all right," it would say, but he never felt all right.
(What if… What if Yuuko was wrong? What if one day, Sakura looked at him and remembered…?)
Sometimes, he thought, maybe that was why he could still act braver than he really felt. He was selfish enough to keep himself propped up by the thought of her.
"Why do you do it?" she asked him. "Why all this for me?"
He smiled (but never the smile just for her) and knew it was just him being a terrible person, relinquishing everything (even the smile just for her)…
… because he wanted…
… to protect her.
So much.
"You are the princess," he told her. "So I must…"
"But what about you, Syaoran-kun? Is there anything you want to do after all of this?"
Throb, throb. His heart ached. Yes, your majesty.
He said, with all the warmth he could muster: "Don't worry about me."
In the deepest, most private recesses of his mind, where not even Sakura's kindness could touch him, he burst into tears, a thousand times over.
He watched her from afar and felt the incessant dull pain in his heart from seeing her smile (but never the smile just for him). That same smile was what had kept him going since the very beginning.
(There was so much he wanted to tell her…)
02 Mokona and Fai
"Syaoran, look over there, look over there!"
"At that shop?"
"Strawberries~!"
"Oh, would you like me to buy some for you…?" Splutter. "Mo-Mokona –san!"
"This is one of Mokona's 101 secret techniques! Eat and run!"
While Kurogane yelled at Mokona – "What kind of lousy secret technique is that?" – Syaoran approached the deprived fruit vendor owner and paid the price in full.
Afterwards, Fai observed, "You're very honest."
"My father taught me it wasn't right to take from strangers."
"Then it's all right if I steal from you?"
"Er, I don't think…"
A poke against his cheek. Ouch. Mokona.
"Fai was telling a joke! Does Syaoran like jokes?"
("Actually," said Fai, "I was being half-serious.")
"Er, I don't – I don't really-"
"Knock! Knock!"
A sigh. "Who's there?"
"Mokona forgets what comes after this."
"… Oh."
Now he was being pinched.
"Lighten up, lighten up! Syaoran always looks like he's worried."
"That's what princess Sakura says…"
"Seeeeeeee? Mokona is always one-hundred-and-one percent right!"
A small laugh. "I see."
"Awww, Syaoran is adorable when he smiles!" Hop, hop, hop on his shoulder.
Followed by a chuckle from Fai. "I agree with Mokona."
Sakura swung around to see, but a frozen look of embarrassment had already replaced Syaoran's previous expression.
Hop, hop, prance. Mokona was in Mokona's element.
"Syaoran is almost as much fun to tease as Kurogane!"
("Hey! I heard that! C'mere, porkbun!")
This time, nobody noticed it when Syaoran smiled again. Except for Fai. He regarded Syaoran with his hands cupped around his chin and his eyes half-closed and his lips curled up in amusement.
Syaoran never realised he was looking.
03 Kurogane
There was a ringing clash of steel upon steel, so sudden and jarring, he almost wondered why he didn't pull away.
No. The thought was enough to send a cold shiver crawling down his spine. He knew dimly he had to be gritting his teeth, that his eyebrows must be locked deep in a frown of concentration.
The moon hung overhead as unremarkable and dim as a dying light bulb. It only seemed to shine when the clouds obscuring it seemed to move on. At that moment, Syaoran could see the eyes of his opponent. They were dark – intense. Brows furrowed. Yet smiling.
Syaoran willfully turned his attention to the point where their blades were crossed.
"You're getting better," Kurogane told him. "But you're still-"
He was cut off there.
Syaoran wrenched his sword away from Kurogane's. At the same time, he ducked and brought sword lower. With a rapid twist of his arm, he attempted to thrust the blade straight towards Kurogane's stomach.
Alarm bells rang in his head. His palms were sweating. Wait! What if-?
Kurogane stepped aside deftly, neatly avoiding the strike. Syaoran stumbled forward and then backward. He had lost his momentum. He tried to swing his sword again, even as he struggled to regain his footing. His arm ached but he could still fight…
Suddenly, he felt a strong, burly hand clamp onto his wrist and something cold and dangerously sharp pressing against his throat.
"Like I was saying," Kurogane said. "You're still sloppy."
Syaoran watched unblinkingly as his opponent and mentor lowered his sword.
"I feel like there are so many areas I could improve," Syaoran sighed.
"There are," Kurogane answered promptly, never one to mince words. "Let's do it again."
Syaoran's arm groaned in protest. He and Kurogane had been sparring since shortly after lunch. It was now well past nightfall. He shook his arm, paused to evaluate it, and then decided he could live with the throbbing pain in his bicep.
"Okay," he said, and had no more words after that. He was too busy whipping out his sword in order to block Kurogane's abrupt downward slash.
This time, Kurogane was on the offensive. Immediately after Syaoran absorbed his opening attack, Kurogane launched another slash from the side, and then another. Heart thumping in his mouth, adrenaline rushing to his feet, it was all Syaoran could do to keep up his defence against the ninja's flurry of strikes.
Ten minutes later, he was on his knees panting and his sword lay flat on the ground several arm lengths away. Kurogane watched as Syaoran reached out for his discarded blade, wincing in pain even as he did so.
"That's enough, kid," he declared.
"Kurogane-san, I…" Syaoran swallowed. "I… I need to…"
"You think too much."
Syaoran blinked, startled, and gazed up stiffly at Kurogane's stern countenance.
Kurogane continued. "At the limit of your strength, you could still survive a whole ten minutes when I went full out. But you've never come even close to landing a scratch on me today. You can react, but otherwise you think too much."
Syaoran felt a weight of disappointment on his chest.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Kurogane replied gruffly. "You fight to protect, that's all."
"Kurogane-san…"
"What?"
In response, Syaoran closed his eyes.
"I… I'm scared," he admitted heavily. "We've made it this far. What if next time…?"
He stopped when he felt Kurogane's hand on his head.
"Boy."
Syaoran sucked in a nervous breath. "Kurogane-san?"
"You're thinking too much again."
Kurogane lifted his hand. Syaoran smiled.
"Sorry," he said again.
Kurogane rolled his eyes.
Fin