Author's Note: So I'm supposed to be working on something else. But this came to me all of a sudden and I just had to get it out and post it. So here it is. It's Logan/Camille & Logan/Peggy. I loved Peggy in Big Time Crush. I want Peggy back cause she's cute and nerdy and pretty much the girl version of Logan with blonde hair and the idea of those two together makes me grin like a little kid. And, I've said it before, but Camille just gets on my nerves. Anyways. It's got some of that "you" stuff in there but it's in Logan's POV. Please review! :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I did but I don't. I'm just playing in the sandbox! :)
PS: YOU SEE THE PART THAT SAYS IT HAS LOGAN/PEGGY RIGHT? RIGHT. Do I have to go all bitchy on here? If you don't like Peggy, okay, cool. But don't leave mean comments. Please. That's one reason why some people delete their fics. So please, if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say it all. :) kthanx. You can ignore it if you don't like Peggy or Logan/Peggy. Geeze lou-fucking-ise.
There's her and then there's you.
She's graceful and pretty with a big heart and an even bigger laugh. Her smile could light up any room, her voice makes my heart do silly things, and her presence makes my days a little bit brighter. When I first met her she made this huge entrance, like she was in her own little movie, she being the star of course, and she made sure that I knew I was going to be hers.
She pulled me in with sweet kisses and even sweeter words; words that made me believe we were meant for each other. I loved her—no I do love her-it just isn't the same anymore. She kept me trapped with those beautiful eyes. Kept me trapped with all those meaningful glances that end messy on more than one occasion. I felt on top of the world when we were together.
But she isn't right for me.
And then there's you.
You're kind of short and clumsy, you wear glasses that are always slipping down your nose, and you have dimples that dent your cheeks every time you smile. You're shy. That smile is a little crooked and there's freckles on your face that even make-up can't hide.
I know that when I'm with you, though, the earth stops moving and it feels like everything about you pulls me in. Your heart is pure and full of a goodness I could only hope to be. When we met you didn't put on a big show for me, you didn't flirt, you didn't come off as confident as she did. I saw you as the new nerdy girl, the new nerdy girl that I wanted for myself.
And now you're standing in front of me, telling me that maybe we aren't right for each other. It's a lie, I can see it in your eyes, but I don't tell you that. Instead I stand here speechless, no clue how to win you over and make you stay, while you try not to cry. Your glasses are sliding down your nose in this adorable way and it makes everything worse because you aren't mine to call adorable.
Instead of saying anything I cup your cheeks in my hands and kiss you, putting as much into it as I can. I've wanted to do that since I first time saw you in the lobby. It takes a second but finally you kiss back. When I kissed her it felt good. Now I know that she was never what I wanted.
But then you're pushing me away and it hurts and now you're crying, muttering "You love her," and stepping away from me. When she and I broke up for the first time it hurt. This hurts even worse. This feels like someone's squeezing my lungs until I can't breathe, like they have my heart in their hands and won't stop until I beg for it.
"I don't-"
"Goodbye."
She's Camille. You're Peggy.
She's walking out of the same elevator you're running into and she's hurrying towards me, confusion on her pretty face. I don't want her.
"Are you okay?"
I lock eyes with you right before the elevator closes. You're the picture of perfection and everything I want and you're disappearing behind closing doors. I almost run to you, almost run to that stupid elevator and push the button so the doors will reopen. But she is putting a soft hand on my cheek and telling me she loves me and that she's stupid for ever letting me go and that she wants me back.
The elevator dings. Hope swells in my chest. I hope it's you coming back to say you're wrong and that we are right for each other and that we need other and all that mushy romantic crap she believes in. Instead the other side is empty, allowing new passengers to board. The hope turns heavy.
I look at her. I'm sure I'm about to cry but of course she mistakes it for me being happy and wanting her back. She looks beautiful in her red summer dress, make-up all done up, hair in place with pins. She's perfect. She's not you.
Finally I find my voice.
"I'm fine."
Believe me, I'm lying.
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