I hope everyone's holidays were swell and you got everything you wanted out of them. This is just another little one shot that came to mind and it's a little different from my past writing.
Thank you so much to all you lovely readers both new and old.
Have a happy New Year and enjoy.
She opens doors for you. Always.
It became a second nature thing with her to the point where eventually you stopped noticing.
And then one day you noticed you're the only one she does it for. Whenever you get in the car, the door is open and she gently shuts it once you're safely inside.
And then you started to notice everything she did.
The way she often touches you. The way that even the simplest touch calms you.
How she comes to your house whenever she can; spends mornings and nights with you.
How she pays a lot, even though you're the one who can more easily afford everything.
How she knows your favorite wine, your favorite everything.
How she protects you at all costs.
Like that time she found the strength to defeat Hoyt while you laid motionless and drugged with your neck cut and bleeding.
You notice how she tries to spend every minute of her breaks in the morgue with you and how she shares her lunches.
And for a while, those were all just simple things your best friend did for you. She made you feel safe and happy and you loved her for it.
It was Frost who pointed out that she might be in love with you. He just said it casually one day while you were sitting together in the office waiting for Jane and Korsak to return from getting a warrant.
So casually, like he wasn't unlocking some huge secret.
And you can read people so easily, especially Jane, that you don't know how you missed it. The looks she sends your way, they're ones of complete adoration. Sometimes you catch her staring and you're sure she doesn't even realize that she's doing it. And now it's so obvious.
Yet, when Frost pointed it out, you were so surprised and so strongly in denial. "We're just friends," you promised.
He let it go, though you know he was unconvinced.
And then you started noticing everything. That was a few months ago.
You fought hard internally. Writing everything off. We are just friends! You thought.
Even still, you're not interested in her that way, right?
She's gorgeous; her body is perfect, lanky and thin. Her bone structure is an optimal one to make children with.
But you're not a man; you can't be attracted to her. Scientifically, she isn't the perfect specimen to mate with because biologically you can't mate with her.
But sexuality and attraction is a spectrum.
You lay it all out scientifically in your head. She really is the perfect specimen in your eyes.
And God those fingers! You think, gasping when you realize you shouldn't be thinking about those kinds of things.
"Is something wrong?" Jane asks.
You're at her apartment, your legs are in her lap and she's massaging your calves while you stare blankly at whatever movie she decided to put on.
"Uhh- yeah, fine. I just...realized I forgot to feed Bass," you lie and instantly start scratching your neck. The hives are forming and by the way Jane is side-eying you, you know it's obvious.
"Okay, let me drive you home," she offers, ignoring the fact that she obviously knows you're not telling the truth.
"No," you say quickly. "No, there's no need, I'll just see you tomorrow."
"If there's something wrong, you'll let me know right?" She wonders, the worry evident in her creased brow. Her lips, her kissable lips, are turned down in a half frown.
You can't help it when your eyes dart to them and you subconsciously lick your own.
"Yes, I'm just tired," you say while looking away, and it's not a lie. You're exhausted from thinking. Your powerhouse of a brain is overloaded thanks to Jane Rizzoli, and how you may or may not feel about her.
"Okay, drive safe and text me when you get home so I know you're okay," she asks of you.
You pull her in for a hug at that, thankful for how much she cares. She's your best friend.
She holds you tighter than usual tonight as soon as she registers your hug. Or maybe that's just you thinking things are different. Maybe it's just you thinking that Jane can smell your conflicting emotions of possible love for her.
And tonight, of all nights, she kisses your cheek goodbye. And this time, it's not just the apple of your cheek. Not the spot of a friendly 'faire la bise', but at the hinge of your jaw, just below your ear. The spot that sends a small flutter to your chest and makes you weak at the knees.
You pull back and see the concern and love in her eyes and in that instant you know Jane Rizzoli loves you and you love her too.
But you leave and let her close the door behind you.
And you walk down the hall.
Because even though you love her, she's your best friend; the only person on this earth who understands you and you can't risk that because of your feelings.
What if it doesn't work out?
Then you lose everything.
High risk, high gain, you tell yourself.
You could lose your only family, you also say.
And like the proverbial angel and devil on your shoulder your wits battle it out.
She's the love of your life.
That was Ian.
Ian left.
She could too.
If you care so much about losing her, you will try hard not to.
Life gets in the way sometimes.
She loves you.
She understands you.
She cares about you.
She opens doors for you!
She opens the door for you. The one you're now standing in front of again.
"Did you forget something, Maur?" She asks and you barely allow her to finish the sentence.
You roll onto the balls of your feet, find balance on her clavicle where you bunch the collar of her V-neck up in your fists and you press your lips to hers.
She doesn't respond and for an instant you feel as though you ruined everything. But only for an instant, before she presses into you and takes your lower lip between hers.
You moan, God she's talented.
She wraps her arms around your shoulders, trails one hand down to your lower back and pushes you further into her.
You feel as though you could just melt into her and become one.
You hear the door slam behind you and you pull away to quickly realize she's shut it. You didn't even notice her movements, too entranced by the force and skill of her lips.
And a moment later, her lips are back on yours, hungry for more, hungry for you.
You're backed into the door, forced gently into it as she slips her tongue into your mouth and you welcome it graciously.
You slip your leg between hers. It's unintentional, but she throws her head back in pleasure, releasing your lips and opening her neck up for your assault.
"Oh- God Maura," she moans rather loudly and you're aware even more that this is happening.
So you continue nibbling and sucking, taking in all the sounds she's making. You commit each to memory.
A kiss there draws a long groan.
A bite here pulls a squeak.
Dragging your teeth along her jaw leads to panting.
A suck to her pulse elicits a curse and a shiver to her knees.
That's your favorite.
So you do it again, and again.
And on the third, she palms your ass and pulls your center into hers.
You're wet, incredibly so. And all you want is Jane Rizzoli.
She removes her hand from your backside and places it on your cheek, before her lips land upon the other one.
She's panting, trying to catch her breath and whispering "wait" over and over.
You don't want to wait.
"Wait."
You want her.
"Wait."
Now.
"Wait."
She holds your cheek in her hand and presses her forehead to yours as her chest rises and falls from your previous excitement.
Her eyes are closed and her brow is creased as if she's thinking really hard.
"We're getting carried away. You don't want this," she says, breathlessly.
Her eyes finally open and find yours. They're dark, as dark as yours most likely are.
"Yes, I do," you answer. She doesn't know what you want!
"No, you can't," she whispers back.
"Why not?" You demand.
"Because you're not just some casual fuck against my living room door, Maura. This isn't how it should happen," she admits, attempting to pull away from you.
You're happy to know she wants it to happen, just not this way. But who is she to decide how your first time goes? Who is she to decide how you want her, for the sake of how she thinks it will make you feel? She's caring and chivalrous, yes, but right now she's being completely frustrating.
You hold on to her, you can't let her pull away.
"How do you know how I want it?" You ask.
"Because you deserve better," she answers.
"I love you so much Jane Rizzoli, but if you don't keep going I might...might."
"Combust?" She finishes, a smile brimming her lips.
"Yes!" You huff.
"Say it again?" She asks.
"If you don't keep going I might combust?" You repeat, the rising inflexion of your voice questioning why she needs to hear that again.
"No, before that," she corrects.
You go over it in your head and your cheeks redden a bit as you register what you've admitted. But then you realize you were just humping your best friend against her door and you're completely unashamed.
"I love you so much Jane Rizzoli. I'm so in love with you and if you don't take me to bed right now and make love to me, I will most definitely combust." You say completely.
She kisses you again. This time it's languid and loving. Your lips smack and your noses rub together.
"I love you too, Maura Isles," she confesses against your lips and it sets your body alight again.
She grabs under your ass and lifts your core into her. You wrap your legs around her waist, the added height now raising your head over hers. You tilt her head up so you can continue to shower her with kisses and she leads you towards her bedroom.
She only bumps you into the wall once and you laugh into each other's mouths, breathlessly.
When she reaches the bed, she lays you down gently. Your once intense duel for power slows and you undress each other through soft loving kisses and murmurs of affection.
She's gorgeous.
She's loving.
She's attentive.
She makes you come quickly.
And again slowly.
God those fingers! You think again, this time with no shame.
She knows your body, your heart, your mind, and your soul.
You lie entangled in one another, sated and exhausted. There is no start or finish, just one entity melded together, seemingly untangleable.
It reminds you of Plato's Symposium, in which humans were originally created with four arms and legs and two faces alike. Zeus split them and left them to wander the Earth in search of the other.
You feel now as though you've succeeded and you're finally whole.
You feel as though you've found your soulmate.
It seems impossible. The scientist in you tells you soulmates don't exist. There is always someone out there who will be a better match.
But she makes you think otherwise. She makes you believe in the impossible.
"What are you thinking about?" She questions, breaking the peaceful silence with her sleepy voice.
"Us... You," you say.
"You're not having second thoughts are you?" She asks, the panic just barely discernible in her voice.
You play gently with her hands, massaging the scars there.
"Absolutely not." You promise.
"Please promise you'll still love me in the morning," she begs. It's the weakest you've ever seen her, and the strongest.
You may have had two glasses of wine before this whole thing happened, but this wasn't some drunken accident.
"Of course!" You insist and seal it with a kiss. "I love you and I always will, and tomorrow I'll love you even more than I do now."
She settles at that and you rest your head against her chest. You listen to her beating heart and imagine it beats for you just as yours does for her.
"How did you know how I felt?" She wonders, her voice almost nonexistent and heavily laced with exhaustion.
You didn't really know for sure. You debated whether you could be with her rather than if she felt the same.
You should have been more worried about that.
But then you remember why, and you think it's all the evidence you ever needed.
"You open doors for me," you answer and though it's simple, you think it's all you need. It satisfies her too, because her breathing evens out and yours soon follows. You sleep as one being, one entity finally complete.
Soulmates.
Also just a little inside scoop: I'm working on another multi-chapter fic and I just sent the first few chapters of that to my Beta so be on the lookout for that ;)