Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

A lose thread.

Authors note: I read a one shot story the other day called, "Breaking Point." By TheBluePill. I found the story to be sad, moving and it really seemed to grab me. It's been on my mind ever since I read it. I kept wondering what would happen to Tori. Today I had some time and started to write and the story came out rather quickly. So with permission of TheBluePill here is an alternative sequel to their wonderful story. "Breaking Point."

Tori's POV

I have a red sweater, a red sweater which I love. But on the seam between the sleeve and the main part of the sweater a loose thread is sticking out. I dare not pull on it. Even though I see it every time I wear it, I dare not.

Why?

Because the last time I pulled on a thread. A thread that I thought insignificant at the time, it unraveled my whole life.

I remember at the time, the reasons seemed perfectly logical and clear to me why I wanted a break from Jade. As is said, at the time the reasons were clear at the time, but now I can't exactly remember why. Now, what little I remember of the reason or reasons after 12 years, they look pointless and stupid.

The day I told her, I saw her stiffen briefly and for an instant a look of deep pain crossed her face briefly then she quickly composed herself and seemed to return to her normal self. Seconds later, I could only see her customary scowl and a pair of beautiful eyes that showed no emotion what so ever. Myself, I felt both relief and terror at the same time.

"What have I done?" I thought in the seconds after I said we needed a break.

I answered my own question a moment later, what you wanted to do.

She left town a few days later, telling me goodbye before she left. At the time, I was too stunned to realize that I would never see her again. I was in denial.

My first dose of reality was when I dialed Jades number and the patient sounding message said.

"The number you have dialed has been disconnected, please check your number and try again."

Want to hear something funny or sad, depending how you look at it. I still have her number in my phone. Even though it's long since been disconnected I still have it. A single connection that I refuse to part with.

I wish I could remember exactly why I broke up with Jade. At least then, I could try and come to terms with it.

Come to terms what that single decision undid everything important to me.

I quickly realized my friends Andre, Beck, Cat and Robbie were still on contact with Jade. I would hear bits of conversation mentioning her. Of course the second they realized I was near, that conversation would come to a screeching halt.

Any time I brought up Jade, the subject of the conversation quickly was changed.

They were my friends but now a wall existed between them and me. They couldn't confide in me. I suppose I could have tried to open up more or maybe a different approach. I had hurt Jade and hurt her badly and at times I sensed the anger they had towards me. After a while I began to resent them. They talked to Jade and I couldn't. Another mistake; letting my jealousy get the best of me.

After graduation I stopped calling them. I hoped they would call me to see why I hadn't called, but much to my disappointment, they didn't. I can't blame them now.

I haven't spoken to any of them in years.

The thread that I had pulled had unraveled my relationship with Jade and now my relationship with my friends.

I still had my music, the one last love of my life. I recorded songs and put out demos. I worked very hard at my craft.

"You lack feeling." Was an offhand comment that a producer I was auditioning for said.

At the time, I thought that meant sing louder which I did. But he smiled graciously and said, "Thank you, but you just don't have what we're looking for."

The others I auditioned for or sent tapes too were also kind, but it never panned out. Again I was told I lack feeling. The usually said it in a different way, but that's what they meant.

I didn't get it at the time, but my heart was gone and you can't sing from the heart when you don't have one. My heard didn't break you see, it just up and left.

I tried and I tried and I tried, but I never became a singer. I even auditioned for a few bands, but again nothing panned out.

That thread unraveled yet another part of my life, my hope to be a singer. I can sing but I find it painful somehow.

I dated and even had some relationships in college, with both men and women. They never seemed to last. Looking back I realized that I had subconsciously sabotaged them all. I held back my affections or just wasn't open or something else. They all got tired of me and moved on. I never cheated or abused any of them. I was nice and pleasant, I just didn't love. In any case, the shadow of Jade loomed over each and every relationship I had.

More of my life became unraveled.

Just after college I happened to see it, It was a blurb in the papers.

"Award winning Stage Actress, Jade West to marry German girlfriend, Kirsten Graf.

Jade West, who's been wowing audiences all over Europe, just announced her engagement to Kirsten Graf, whom she met 2 years ago while on vacation in….

I couldn't read any further. I wanted to cry but oddly found myself unable. I don't think I even can cry any more.

She had moved on and found love, despite the fact that she loved me. I remember her saying that once.

Having lost Jade, my friends, my seeming ability to have a long term relationship and my ambition to be a singer I moved on best I could.

When I said the thread unraveled my life, that wasn't completely accurate. What it did was unravel the life I wanted to live. I have a different life now.

Now 12 years after I broke up with Jade, I'm 30 years old and work in the personal department of the police department. My father helped me get the Job. I'm not a cop; I'm just a person who helps push papers. It's a decent job and one with very good benefits. I work with nice people and I even have my own office with a view that overlooks a beautiful park.

I have friends, not many but a few friends. They're not like my old friends. I could tell my old friends anything, my new friends I can't. None of them know that I once dated famous actress, Jade West.

I live a quiet and rather mundane life now. I don't cut myself, drink too much, take drugs, party all the time or sleep around. I saved my money and bought a modest condo and drive a new Kia Car. I do things with my friends and still managed to date here and there. None of my relationships last, however. My only steady relationship is with my cat, Arthur. I've come to the conclusion that, deep down I don't feel worthy of having a real one.

It's a quiet, safe and simple life.

I hate it.

I don't live anymore, I exist.

There's a difference between living and existing. Once I lived, I mean really lived. Now I just stumble through life, half asleep.

It's not the life I want, but I've come to the conclusion it's the one I deserve.

One I deserve for sending Jade away. The look on her face the first look of hurt before she covered it up, remains etched in my mind. It remains like a deep and painful wound that won't heal. It never will and I deserve that pain.

I've since learned that many of our mental wounds are self-inflicted. Mine was inflicted some 12 years ago and I'm just going to have to live with it.

It was a Saturday night, which meant going bowling with my friends Peter, Jamie and Kayla. I do enjoy bowling with my friends, it passes the time and they're all pleasant company. A few pitchers of beer and some friendly conversation and for a while I feel like a real living person again.

On the third game I bowled the lowest score on the 5th frame. For us that's the beer frame. Whomever bowl's the lowest on the 5th frame, has to buy the next pitcher of beer. Hence the term, beer frame.

So I pulled out 10 dollars and walked to the bar and nearly walked straight into Jade.

She looked very much the same, still stunningly beautiful, though her hair was much shorter. I did however notice two things. One was a woman with short strawberry blond hair holding her hand and of course a wedding ring with a huge diamond, on her finger.

My self-inflicted wound suddenly grew about 10 sizes.

For an instant we looked into each other's eyes. I wanted to see something, any kind of emotional response. But her expression and demeanor was guarded, showing no trace of any real emotion. Jade was always good at that.

"Tori?" She said in a bland, but pleasant fashion.

"Hello Jade?" I said, simply wanting to die.

"Who's this dear?" Said the woman with Jade, in a thick German accent.

Jade looked to the woman. "Kirsten, this is Tori, a girl I used to go to high school with."

As if it hurt already, I suddenly felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart when I realized that not only has she never mentioned me to her wife, but I've been demoted from ex-girlfriend to, girl I used to go to high school with.

Kirsten smiled warmly and extended her hand. "Hello, I'm Kirsten West. Pleased to meet you."

Kirsten West, please don't ever say that name to me again.

I put on my most convincing smile and shook her hand which was warm and soft. "I'm Tori, Vega, Nice meet you."

My pain quickly converted into jealously. I hate your very existence Kirsten, please die horribly.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jade eyeing me carefully, I'm fairly certain I wasn't fooling her a bit.

Kirsten looked to Jade. "I need to use the powder room dear to check my makeup. I'll meet you by the door. Why don't you chat with you friend for a minute."

That convinced me right there that Jade never mentioned me once to her before. Otherwise, Kirsten would have never left me alone with her wife. It's obvious, that I've faded from having any significance in Jade's life.

"Sure, I'll only be a minute." Jade said, as Kirsten walked in the direction of the bathroom.

"So how have you been?" Jade said, after waiting a moment for Kirsten to get out of earshot.

"Fine. I see you're doing well. Your wife seems very nice and is very pretty." I said with a fake smile that I knew perfectly well Jade could see right through. At the same time I shifted my feet nervously, as the whole conversation had a very strange, awkward and uneasy feel to it.

"Thank you."

"So what brings you here?" I found myself wondering what an A-list actress of Jade's stature was doing in a dumpy bowling alley in LA, on a Saturday night."

Jade looked around. "I'm co-producing a film and a few scenes take place in a bowling alley. I had a bit of time before my wife and are supposed to meet our friends for drinks. So we stopped in to see the place. See if it would fit with what we have in mind."

"That's good to see your expanding into other areas. I've seen all your films. You're great." I just lied through my teeth. I haven't seen a single one of Jade's films. You can probably guess why.

"Thank you. So what do you do now?"

"I work for the police department. I work in personnel, specifically with helping retired officers with their pension benefits. I just got promoted last year."

"That's real good."

I suddenly heard a shout from my friend peter. "Hey Vega! You're holding us up. It's your turn. Where's the beer?"

Jade looked to my friends then to me. "Looks like you have to get going. We'll it was nice seeing you. See you around."

That was it, 12 years and we have a nothing conversation. There's so much I want to say, but can't or won't or am just too afraid to say.

I nodded and took the cowards way out. "Nice seeing you again. Bye Jade."

Jade then turned and walked about 5 feet when my heart seemed to suddenly burst and a whole stream of thoughts came pouring out of my mouth.

"Jade. I have to say this. Say this now, cause it's killing me. I was stupid, horribly stupid and I can't even remember why I did it anymore. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I sent you away. It was the stupidest thing I've done in whole my life. Maybe it makes me utterly pathetic to admit this, but not a day goes by where I don't regret what I did by hurting you. I'm sorry. I don't mean to put you on the spot or dig up ancient history, but it's killing me. I am so sorry Jade." At the end I shed a single tear and my voice cracked. It was first tear that I had shed in years.

Jade paused, her back to me, as I spoke. After a few seconds where the only sound to be heard was was the sound of bowling balls hitting pins, she said quietly.

"Good night Tori." Then she walked away without looking back.

It took me a few moments to compose myself and I found myself watching as Jade meet her wife by the door, give her a loving kiss and leave the bowling alley. I wanted to look away, but like passing some sort of gruesome accident on the highway, I just couldn't.

She had moved on and I hadn't. But it was my doing and I was the one that pulled the loose thread that unraveled everything important to me.

I returned to my game and played the rest feeling like a total zombie. My friends hardly seemed to notice I was now very much out of it. My old friends would have picked up on it right away.

I had spilled my guts to Jade and all I got was, "Good night Tori." I suppose I deserve that.

I left the bowling alley feeling very depressed and lonely. I of course knew that I would pull myself back together by Monday and return to my self-inflicted life.

Oddly I heard my phone ring some time during the night. Half asleep I looked at my alarm clock to see was nearly 4 in the morning. I picked up the phone, wondering if there was some sort of family emergency.

It was a number I didn't recognize. Normally I wouldn't answer a strange call at night, but something spurred me to.

"Hello?"

A second later I heard an unmistakable voice. It was a voice which belonged to a woman I once sent away.

"Tori?"

I meant this to be a one shot. Why Jade called Tori and what she says, I'll leave that up to you. But TheBluePill's original story haunted me and I couldn't resist making a follow up of my own.

This is a story how one decision, seemingly insignificant at the time,can cause your whole life to unravel.