I'm pretty sure that I'll get bashed for writing this. Trust me, I'm a huge Jonathan Groff fangirl and it breaks my heart to do this to Jesse, even if he was a dick to Rachel. I'm going to apologize in advance for how out of character everyone may seem from time to time. This story is slightly AU (alternate universe). I've made both Jesse & Rachel seventeen years old. Quinn is her close friend. I'm not entirely happy with how choppy this chapter turned out, but I've been meaning to post it for a long time; I hope you enjoy it.
Warning: This story contains mature subject matter, such as rape and violence.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Glee, as you can probably tell by reading this story.
Jesse St. James.
It was silent.
Well, not absolutely. Wind blew through the trees and in return, the leaves russled softly. Birds would chirp occasionally. A sound that often indicated peace and quiet. It was far too calm. He shivered slightly. The sun was slowly beginning to set behind trees that surrounded the woods. It was growing darker.
He laid back against the ground, shutting his eyes tightly. As if doing so would make all of the terrible thoughts and memories disappear completely. He was in pain. It was tremendous at times, then it would fade away into dull pain. Only to return as quickly as it had left. Taunting him.
The urge to cry was undeniable. He fought past tears, refusing to have even a single weak moment. There were much more important matters at hand. For example, evaluating the extent of his injuries.
Blood stained his clothing. His once gray shirt, now a deep shade of crimson red, pooled closer towards the bottom. Blood had never particularly disgusted him before. Not until now as he watched it slowly spread across the fabric of his t-shirt. He wasn't dying, but it sure as hell felt as if he very well could be.
Above all, he did not feel anything like himself. He was feeling incredibly empty. Possibly because he had never once imagined this type of terrible, cruel thing happening to him. His father was absolutely correct when he said that the world was full of evil. Heartless people who did not care about who they harmed or why.
Yet, a small part of him vaguely wondered if he deserved this. Quite possibly one of the most horrendous thoughts anyone could ever allow to cross their mind.
However, he was generally a terrible person from the start. At least it sure felt that way after all that had taken place over the past couple of months. Was this karma's twisted way of catching up to him for all he had done?
For the longest time, he just sat on the forrest floor, staring at the dirt covered ground in front of him. Minutes slowly ticked by. To him, it felt more like hours. He glanced up at the sky. Once bright, it was now a dull shade of blue.
He had to get help.
Unfortunately, he didn't know who to call. He could contact 911, but knew that he wouldn't be able to explain his current situation. In fact, he refused to admit to himself that it had happened. He could pretend, if even for a while right? Not to mention how a huge part of him was terrified to associate with anybody even the slightest unfamiliar at the moment.
At some point earlier on, he had managed to pull his jeans back up. He buttoned them slowly, before at last, making a feeble attempt to stand. Huge mistake. Pain shot throughout his body and as a result he collapsed to his knees. Cursing silently, he buckled his belt and finally allowed himself to cry.
Not hard. More like soundless, quiet sobs. He hated himself for breaking down so suddenly. It was so incredibly rare for him to cry. In fact, the last time he had felt so utterly miserable? Somewhere after his break up with Rachel, though even that didn't compare to this. He had hurt her in more ways than one and they both knew the damage was not repairable.
He hadn't spoken to her since that afternoon, in the parking lot. Headn't even given her a second glance after regionals. It wasn't as if he wanted it to be this way.
Shaking the images of her from his mind, he fumbled nervously for his cell phone.
Each thought that crossed his mind was clouded. Nothing was entirely making sense. Not perfectly anyway. His heart was pounding so hard against his chest and he had to pause before going any further. Collect his thoughts.
By now, it was almost completely dark.
He didn't know who to call or how to explain his situation. Then she crossed his mind again. The only person that he wanted to speak with at this point, to be perfectly honest. However, he'd never allow her to see him in such a terrible state. Besides, who was he to turn to the girl that he had hurt before?
Couldn't imagine letting anyone see him so weak; broken.
Did he have much of a choice? Was now seriously the time to be so deeply concerned over his pride and reputation? After clutching his cell phone for quite some time, very deep in thought, he made a decision.
Rachel Berry.
Sometimes she could swear that Finn Hudson was the dumbest boy on earth. Okay, perhaps that statement was a bit overdramatic. He could be smart when he wanted to. Such an amazingly talented guy, as well.
However, he had managed to hurt her again.
Once again, the aspiring star found herself heartbroken. Only this time, she was also extremely fed up. She had only, truly loved two boys with every single fiber in her being and in return, they had both left her in the worst possible way.
Jesse had been lying to her throughout almost every step of their relationship. She still couldn't determine what had been genuine between them, and what hadn't. Ultimately allowing his buddies to egg her, before doing so himself. She had trusted him, only to later regret it so deeply.
Of course Finn had seriously attempted to be a good, responsible boyfriend. She saw him doing so every day that the two were a couple. Somehow, even that couldn't withstand forever.
At some point during their short term relationship, he had suddenly decided that settling down with one person at such a young age wasn't such a great idea. He wanted to take a so called break from their relationship. It wasn't likely that he'd return.
Both boys had crushed her. Yet she still loved them, in her own unique way.
Friday nights were usually boring and uneventful. Her fathers had left town, earlier in the evening to go on some sort of business trip located in New York. Rachel had wanted to join them, but also did not want to intrude, or get in their way. She respectfully decided that it was best for her to stay home.
To avoid being all by herself, Rachel had invited Quinn over.
Avoiding the subject of Finn seemed inevitable. One of the girls was bound to bring him up eventually and the thought alone unnerved Rachel slightly. She didn't know what there was to say about him. He had truly disappointed her.
So, there they were, seated on Rachel's bed, discussing him. "I know that Finn isn't the brightest guy..." Quinn was attempting to comfort Rachel, to no avail "We're talking about the guy who cheats off Brittany in math." she added. At this remark, Rachel laughed a bit.
"Not as if I have room to talk about relationships..." the blonde added quietly, more so to herself than Rachel. She thought of the past that Quinn and Finn shared. All of the lies they had told each other, for whatever reason. That wasn't the type of relationship she wanted. No matter how much she envied what love they did have. After all, the two did care a great deal for each other while they were together. Still seemed to, even nowadays.
Quinn was highly mature for her age. Already the mother of one child, even if she wasn't currently responsible for raising the baby girl. She had learned a lot from her mistakes. Rachel was silently a very observant person. She noticed things about some people that most others would not.
She opened her mouth to speak, but the sudden ring of her cell phone immediately cut her off from doing so. She believed it would be one of her fathers, checking in on her. Ensuring that she was doing okay.
While responding to Quinn, she reached over, clumsily searching for her cell phone until she felt the object in her hand. Her eyes scanned the caller ID and what she read, genuinely took her completely off guard.
After their break up, she had deleted his number from her contacts. As if doing so would remove all bad memories of that day and what heartbreak followed. Besides, she didn't see the use in keeping a number she wouldn't ever dial again. However, she vaguely recalled the didgits.
His phone number flashed across the screen and she took a deep, steady breath "Rachel?" Quinn asked quietly, upon noticing the obviously confused expression that had crossed the other girls features.
Why on earth would he even consider calling her? They hadn't said a single word to each other since that terrible day, in the parking lot. He had watched his friends attack her, on her own territory. Of course, she'd be nothing short of furious with him.
As matter of fact, she considered not answering his call. What if this were another set up of some type? She couldn't even comprehend why Vocal Adrenaline would do that, but was searching for any excuse possible to not answer the phone. Even though she wouldn't admit that to herself.
"Um...Rachel?" Quinns soft voice, once again broke her thoughts and she directed her full attention to the girl sitting across from her "Who is it?"
"Um...Jesse I guess." she saw no point in lying.
"What?" Quinn sounded just as surprised as Rachel felt. Slightly irritated, as well "What's he want?"
Another brief pause. The only sound was Rachel's cell phone, ringing repeatedly. Perhaps this call was urgent. Was answering a wise choice? Or would she be stepping into yet another stupid trap?
Rachel pressed the talk button and held the cellular device against her ear. She was genuinely confused, but also considerably annoyed as well. How exactly did he have the nerve to contact her? Then again, this was Jesse after all.
Quinn watched in silence, confusion evident across her face. She quickly mouthed 'What the hell?' to Rachel and in return, earned a slight shrug.
"What?" her voice was emotionless. There was no hint of anger, or sadness. Nor any sign of excitement. The enthusiastic way she used to answer the phone whenever Jesse called. Before everything they shared went straight to hell.
She had expected to practically hear the smirk in his voice when he responded. Could imagine how he'd react when she actually picked up for him.
What she certainly did not expect was for him to sound so different. So...frightened?
"Rachel..." his voice was shaking and she could hear his unsteady breathing. Almost as if he were struggling to.
Initially, it made her a bit uneasy. Never before, had she heard him speak in such a manner.
"Jesse? What's the matter?" Her once calm voice was now full of concern. She felt a slight twinge of guilt for not answering his obviously important call any sooner than she had.
Silence on the other end of the line. Followed by something that she never imagined hearing him say to her.
"I need you...your help."
At this point, Rachel was deeply worried. She stood up, noticing the way Quinn was watching her. As if she too realised something was very wrong.
"Where are you? What happened?" She had a whole lot of questions running through her mind, but only focused on the important issue at hand. How could she possibly help him?
"Rachel..." he repeated quietly, before taking a brief pause. It almost felt as if something inside of her broke. His voice was thick with tears. She could tell. This was not the Jesse St. James she knew and quite frankly, it terrified her.
What if this were some sort of sick prank? He was an outstanding actor, after all. She wouldn't put it past him to attempt something such as that. Then again, there was a very noticable sense of urgency in his voice that stated otherwise. Ultimately, that fact alone led Rachel to believe this was serious.
"I'm...at the park."
Rachel momentary wondered what exactly he was doing at the park.
Act now. Ask questions later.
"What's going on? Are you okay?" she had to be sure that he'd be alright before hanging up. If Jesse was injured, or anything of that nature, she'd be more than willing to help him.
There was yet another pause. Each one felt as if it lasted far too long. Her heart was suddenly racing. "I need your help..." With that, the other end of the phone line went dead.
Hell, she wasn't sure what to think.
"What'd he want?" Quinn's voice instantly shattered her thoughts.
"I think something is seriously wrong." Rachel did not hesitate before tossing her cell phone aside and searching, almost frantically, for her jacket. Quinn stood up from her position on the bed "Whoah, slow down."
Once Rachel did as she requested, Quinn continued, speaking slowly "What did he want?" she was curious. Surely, Rachel's end of the conversation alone had caught her attention.
"Something is wrong with him." Rachel was giving short replies that didn't explain much of anything at all, while also trying her very best to get ready as quickly as possible. She simply ignored what her better judgement was saying. If something bad happened because she refused to believe Jesse, then she wouldn't be capable of forgiving herself.
"Clearly." Saracasm was thick in Quinn's voice. Rachel understood that nobody in New Directions had much respect left for Jesse, if any at all, after what he had done. Even Noah had taken up in her defense. Therefore, it was no surprise that Quinn would take any opportunity to insult him. However, she hadn't spoke to him in the way Rachel had only a moment ago.
He sounded so different. Perhaps, because she had never heard him upset before.
"Quinn, I'm not kidding." she wasn't angry at her friend, for simply feeling the way that she did. Rachel gathered her car keys and jacket, before heading downstairs.
"Well, I'm coming with you. Just in case he tries anything again." Quinn called, before quickly following her friend down the hallway, in order to keep up with her pace. Maybe she sensed how anxious Rachel was feeling.
The drive to the park felt longer than any car ride she'd ever taken before. Quinn flipped through the radio stations, never settling on one song in particular. Neither of them spoke.
Lima had an assortment of parks, the most common among teenagers being Faurot Park. Surely, it was the one that Jesse had referred to earlier. He hadn't exactly been specific, after all. It was open to the general public until sundown. However, countless people still wandered around the park long after closing. The lack of security measures assured that nobody would get caught.
"This is kind of weird..." Quinn commented after the two had stepped out of the vehicle. The only one parked in the entire lot. Tonight, the park felt practically vacant. A small group of younger kids, who appeared to be middle school aged, were seated underneath and around a nearby tree. Smoking what were most likely illegal substances.
Neither of them paid much attention. Rachel ventured across the parking lot and Quinn, in return, said nothing. Simply following the other girl. Where to begin searching? Rachel, in the beginning, had expected Jesse to be waiting for them. He was nowhere in sight. She felt sort of sick.
"Jesse?" she called his name, her voice almost in a whisper. From behind her, Quinn chuckled "Like he'll hear that." she murmered jokingly, before shouting his last name. Only much louder than Rachel had and in a much more stern tone.
Immediately, the brunette stopped walking and turned towards her friend "Promise me now that no matter how much of an arrogant moron Jesse may be, you will refrain from causing him any bodily harm." she was dead serious.
Rolling her eyes in a playful manner, the other girl nodded her head in agreement to Rachel's request "We'll see."
It wasn't a full moon quite yet, but the light from that alone provided just enough to search through the darkness. Soon enough, the whispers from the teenagers across the park had grown distant and yet, still no sign of Jesse.
Rachel was silently beginning to wonder if this had all been a joke. If so, she'd find that boy and seriously cause him pain. Okay, mabe she wouldn't be the one inflicting it but somebody could. She'd convince Puck that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to knock Jesse down a peg or two. He'd sure as hell go for it and...
"Jesse..." her train of thought had broken from the very instant she had seen him.
He didn't exactly look much like his usual, mischevious self. Not even the slightest smirk crossed his features when he noticed her. He didn't even acknowledge their presense, for that matter. It was almost as if he didn't know they were there. That alone somehow terrified Rachel to the core.
Jesse St. James
"What are you doing, St. James?" he sighed. Quietly enough to prevent the other boy from hearing.
He wasn't afraid. Just irritated.
"You followed me here?" nowadays he rarley ever spent much time in or around the park. Especially the woods. All he wanted - needed was somewhere quiet. Somewhere vacant. Simply because he needed time alone. To think.
The young man standing only a few feet away didn't intimidate him. Didn't come off as any type of threat. He did, however, disgust Jesse.
"If I did?" he grabbed Jesse's arm, pulling him close. Confused and a bit startled, he heard a slight flick, before pain shot through his abdomen.
As quickly as it happened, he was roughly shoved to the forrest floor.
"You deserve this!" before he was even given a moment to react, the others boot connected with his head and everything quickly faded to black.
Well, here he was. At least an hour had passed and he still hadn't made any attempt to leave. He was beginning to believe that Rachel was not coming (Could he blame her?) If that were the case, maybe he'd stay out in the woods for the rest of the night. Where else did he have to turn, anyway?
It all felt so incredibly pointless.
Footsteps. His mind registered that they were, in fact, nearby and he suddenly felt very anxious. His attacker was coming back to finish him off. He was going to be murdered out here and no one would know.
As absolutely miserable as he felt, he surely didn't want to die. Not here. Not now. He was beyond frightened, to say the least, even if he did attempt to mask those emotions.
Jesse was never this vulnerable. Not before today. If anything, he felt pathetic.
Relief flooded over him as soon as he realised that the footsteps were far too light for them to belong to the man who had done this. He heard her voice and froze.
"Jesse..." Terror was present in her tone.
"Oh my God." Another female voice, all too familiar. He couldn't bring himself to rememeber whom it belonged to.
More footsteps drew closer. He could tell, without opening his eyes, that she was kneeling down next to him "Jesse, look at me." she urged.
He wanted so much to do the exact opposite. It all felt strange; impossible.
Rachel Berry.
As she assisted him in sitting up, she observed his injuries. His forehead and lip were busted open. The sight instantly made her worry about the possibilty of a concussion. He was also bruised up quite a bit. Not to mention, the small pool of blood across his shirt. It didn't appear to be life threatening, but how could she know for sure?
What had happened to him? Stupid question. Obviously, he had been beaten. By whom? How could anyone harm him? Her stomach lurched and she was almost positive that at any moment, she'd vomit.
Suddenly, she realised that the more time wasted asking herself pointless questions that simply could not be answered, the less time she had to help Jesse and it was difficult to understand what type of condition he was currently in. It looked terrible.
Fighting back tears, she noticed the way that he flinched when she gently rested her hand against his shoulder. He was practically turned away from both her and Quinn, whom was watching quietly from a few feet away.
She composed herself, desperately searching for the correct words before speaking again "Jesse, who did this to you?"
Finally, he turned to look at her and his expression broke her heart all over again. He looked sort of lost. Vacant. Words honestly couldn't describe it.
"I'm calling for help." Quinn's voice registered somewhere in her mind, but she ignored it. At the moment, Jesse was the one and only thing that mattered to her.
In a voice that was barley audible, he spoke up quickly "Don't." his tone was soft, but urgent. Needless to say, it shocked both girls. Quinn had taken her cell phone out of her pocket and was in the proccess of dialing for medical service, but paused upon hearing Jesse speak.
Was he insane?
It was unbearably obvious that he needed some type of emergency medical assistance and as quickly as possible.
"Baby," she addressed him using a nickname that hadn't been spoken since they were an actual couple "It's going to be okay, but we have to call someone." she was allowing herself to remain calm, for his sake. Keeping her voice steady. Her usual, confident self.
Jesse refused once again, shaking his head "I - I just want to go..." he wasn't acting anything like himself and quite frankly, it scared the hell out of Rachel.
"Jesse, listen to me; we have to call somebody." Rachel leaned over towards him and he backed up. Only slightly, but it sure caught her attention. Okay, it was more than obvious that something terrible had happened to him. He never behaved this way. Only then, did she notice the blood and after a moment of thought, finally put the pieces together.
No. Not Jesse. Not her Jesse. It wasn't possible. Nobody could hurt him. Especially not in that way. It couldn't happen.
She doubted that Quinn had realised this as well, but immediately understood why he was behaving so oddly. Her head was pounding. This was far too much to take in.
"Okay...it's okay. Let's get out of here though, alright?" she assured him, reaching up and brushing his hair back. This time, he didn't react to her touch. Though they were probably all thinking the same exact thing.
None of it was okay.
Rachel stood up, before carefully reaching down and pulling Jesse to his feet as well. Almost immediately, he cried out in pain before nearly dropping to the ground again, but she managed to catch him. Supporting his weight, she wrapped her right arm around his waist, allowing him to put his arm around her neck. Quinn repeated this action.
It seemed as if all of his strength was virtually gone. As if he had no energy left to walk, let alone think properly.
With very little difficulty, the reached Rachel's car in a matter of minutes. Fortunately, the group of children from earlier had left at some point. As far as she could tell, the parking lot was completely empty. With the exception of them, anyway.
Jesse would cringe in pain or tense up occasionally, but overall he seemed to have improved a bit since they first discovered him.
However, she was trying not to think so hard at the moment. Only act, being that if she thought too much into it she'd probably burst into tears as a result and that would certainly not help the situation in any way.
After what felt like far too long, they reached the car. Quinn helped Rachel get Jesse into the passengers side. He whimpered slightly in pain upon leaning back against the seat, but for the most part still appeared to be doing okay.
Rachel jogged around to the other side of the car after shutting his door, while Quinn climbed into the back.
Now that it was silent, she had time to think.
The drive home felt as if it took twice the amount of time that driving to the park had. She wanted to take him straight to the emergency room. It was the sensible thing to do, no matter how much he protested. If what she believed to have happened, did in fact occur then he absolutely needed help. No exceptions.
It couldn't be true.
Jesse had closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the seat.
Not him.
Quinn was gazing out the window, though she would occasionally glance at Rachel or Jesse. Nobody said a word. The silence was slowly unnerving her.
That was just insane. Disgusting.
Impossibe.
Once in the familiar drive way that she called home, Rachel shut off the engine, removed her foot from the gas pedal. She couldn't allow herself to meet his stare.
Quinn was the first one to exit the car. She slammed the heavy door shut behind her and the sound caused Jesse to jump slightly. He calmed down, before speaking at last "Won't your dads be home?" he whispered.
Somehow, she had found the energy to exit the vehicle as well, but not before answering his question "They're out of town for the weekend." she informed him, climbing out of the drivers seat and then shutting the door behind her. Finally she assisted Quinn in helping Jesse out of the car. As soon as they reached the front door she quickly dug into her pockets, searching for the house key.
Feeling the smooth metal against the palm of her hand, Rachel pulled it out and stuck it into the lock, still supporting Jesse as she did.
How much time had passed, exactly since their first encounter on the telephone? She has lost count. Not as if it mattered. He was already injured. Nothing she could've done to protect him.
The same question kept replaying in her head, over and over again.
Why him?