Track 1 – Don't Stay

Summary – Akuroku. Axel is suicidal and Roxas really isn't physically around. Sad.

Warnings – Character death, my horrendous spelling (haha it would be if it wasn't for spell check), self-mutilation references and wrist slitting (Haa spoilerrrr)

AN –

::ADRESSING THE ENTIRE STORY:: Each chapter has a different plot and different pairings. There are some crack pairings, and some OTP's. That's about it. More description in the next chapter.
::ADDRESSING THIS CHAPTER:: I had this up here before, but I took it down to work on a chaptered story including this "chapter." I think it'll be a lot better now. And hey, if you guys like this idea, I might do another cd. Lemme know.

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know
Somehow I need you to go

Axel, number eight of thirteen 'special' Nobody's, slammed the door to his room in Castle Oblivion. He used the word 'special' to describe the thirteen Nobody's because they were the only Nobody's that could remember what it was like to have a heart. He used the word loosely, however, because with remembering what it was like to have a heart came the memory of having feelings they had felt when they had a heart.

The superior of Organization 13 constantly reminded them that they didn't have hearts, and thus, could not feel. Axel knew he was right, but the memory of the feelings slept within them all. Axel was the only one that always used and dwelled on those memories, though. Happiness, sadness, disappointment and even love were feelings Axel remembered all too well.

When Roxas was brought to Castle Oblivion, Axel took to him automatically. They forged a friendship based on what Axel alone remembered and acted on.

Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know
Somehow I need to be alone

Somewhere along the way Roxas had changed the pyromaniac. All he could think about was the blond, all he dreamt about was the blue-eyed beauty and all the feelings Axel remembered were dedicated for Roxas.

But Axel never changed Roxas. From the day he arrived, to the day he left to find answers, never once had the keyblade master tried to remember feelings of happiness, trust, friendship or even love to return to Axel.

Slowly, day-by-day, without Axel realizing it, Roxas was killing him. Day by day, Axel poured all of his feelings into Roxas; Day by day, Axel gave all of himself to Roxas. And day-by-day, Roxas ignored him, or told him to go away.

Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don't stay

Axel was currently on the cold floor, leaning against his door for support. He could faintly hear Demyx pounding on his door but his own heartbeat was too loud. What would letting Demyx in do, anyways?

Axel slid down onto the floor and covered his ears with his hands, trying to suppress a sob. It didn't work and Demyx could be heard over his heartbeat and through his hands. He quickly flicked the lock on the door and hoped that Demyx would know better than to just let himself in.

The reason for Axel's current position was that Roxas had finally left. Not only had he left, but, with the most words he ever heard the blond say, he's told Axel that he didn't love him and he was wasting his time pretending to have feelings.

Axel was left in the rain for an hour after the love of his non-existent life left. He had sat and tried to let the rain wash away the hurt, but it hadn't worked. Which was when he opened a portal and strode into his room in Castle Oblivion.

Don't stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back
And don't stay

Axel scribbled a note to Demyx, the only other Organization member he could stand. He, at least, pretended to have feelings with the redhead. But he couldn't replace Roxas, no matter how much Axel wanted him to be able to.

Axel sighed. There was no point to his non-existent life anymore. He technically didn't exist, so why should he even stay? He had no loyalties to the Organization. They had been a group of people like him and he welcomed the familiarity. He only stayed once he met Demyx, and then when he met Roxas. Now that Roxas had left… There was just nothing for him.

I don't need you anymore
I don't want to be ignored
I don't need one more day
Of you wasting me away

Axel dug through his closet to retrieve a box that had belonged to his Somebody. There was one particular item that he was searching for. Once he found the razor, he smiled at it sadly. He hadn't used it since he met Roxas.

Pulling up the sleeves of his cloak, Axel revealed several scars that criss-crossed across both his arms. He traced a couple with his razor before sighing and slashing his wrists. And as the blood flowed down his arm and onto his white carpet, Axel couldn't help but smile at the pain. He really was alive.

Axel collapsed onto the floor, in a puddle of his own blood and watched the crimson fluid flow onto the carpet ever more as his room began to get dark. He could have sworn that he heard the popping noise of someone coming through a portal, but it might have been his imagination. And he could have sworn that he saw Roxas' face streaming with tears, but it might have been his imagination.

With no apologies.

-FiN-