Cats Have 9 Lives

A fun idea I came up with at one in the morning, where a character based off of me gives her opinions about the Espada, Las Noches, whatever. Set in the arc where Orihime gets saved from Las Noches ('cause that's all I've watched so far.) NO PLOT CHANGES OR ROMANCE!

(By the way, I don't own Bleach)

CHAPTER 1, START!

It was safe to say that Neko was excited to be working for the Espada. Granted, she was just an errand girl, performing miscellaneous odd jobs for each of the ten Espada.

At least she was caught up on all the gossip, and got to watch some pretty epic fights—or at least treat the wounded. Whatever.

At the moment, Neko was lugging around large boxes of furniture she had to put together for some new recruit or something. Neko didn't mind carrying furniture around, but the least the residents of Hueco Mundo could do was buy from IKEA, where the furniture was lighter and easier to assemble—not to mention innovative. The boxes she was lugging were filled with crap from Goodwill, the Hueco Mundo division.

Neko was still in shock that heartless beasts would love donating and discounts that much.

Anyway, Neko was on her way to the new recruit's room, whistling, her cat-ears that was her Hollow mask atop her black haired head perking upon hearing Lord Aizen's voice. Oh shoot. She knew she shouldn't have taken the main hallway.

"Come and work for us, Orihime*. Do that, and your friends will live. Isn't that what you want for them?"

Ooh, gossip. Neko set her boxes down and leaned into the nearest wall, trying to listen as well as she could without getting caught. She strained her ears as she waited for an answer from "Orihime."

"Yes sir, Lord Aizen." Another pause. "I am yours to command, body and soul.**

Neko stifled a laugh at the connotations the feminine voice gave, even if it sounded rather unwilling.

Then she remembered her duties of having to put together furniture and set it up. Neko scurried away, her thoughts making assumptions of Aizen and the new recruit all on their own.

_I Am A Page Break, Love Me_

"You called for me, Lord Aizen?" The small, green-eyed, black haired girl with a cat-eared mask (though it looked more like a headband)*** asked timidly.

"Yes, Neko, my only Arrancar without the ability to fight," Aizen answered, annoyance from remembered times clear in his voice.

"Well, I make a darned good packrat!" She answered with a grin, trying to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation.

"Yes, but a terrible assembler of furniture. Lady Orihime's couch collapsed the moment she sat on it."

"Oh, sorry… Wait, is that the new recruit?" Neko asked.

"Indeed she is. What of it?" Aizen answered with a sneer.

"Well, I just heard a snippet of your conversation with her earlier… Nothing important, I promise!" The Arrancar waved her hands in front of her face, fearing yet another punishment.

"And?"

"Well, it seemed sort of like she was kidnapped, you know?"

"The situation is rather similar…" Aizen acquiesced.

At that moment, every single stupid and untrue assumption Neko had previously made seemed to be correct.

"That's kind of sad…" Neko mused.

"Having her kidnapped was the right decision, believe me," the overlord explained. "Because—"

"No, I mean the fact that kidnapping someone is the only way you can get any action around here. I mean, well, c'mon, you're pretty powerful, right? You should at least be able to—"

Splat.

Number of Lives Left: 8

*I don't know the dialogue by heart, just remembering the vague details.

** Now this I remember her saying.

***Had to explain what she looked like somehow, right? XD

So, how do you like? Please review!