Disclaimer: CSI:NY and anything related to it belong to someone other than me. -tear tear-
Spoiler(s): None.
Pairing(s): D/L, Obviously!
AN: As it says in the summary, this indeed has a character death. If you don't want to see anything painful as that, don't read. Just a random idea I wrote.
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:::In a Moment.
By Lila Wills.
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Lindsay's POV
Everything around me is a blur as I sit here alone...
I never thought my life would come to this, that I would end up alone. That he would not be here with me. I thought that our love would last, that it was unbreakable... it was... until now.
The wind blows through my hair, I close my eyes as I feel something, the feeling of being free. Because I am tied down, my heart is no longer part of me.
I trace my fingers over the engraved letters.. Why? Why us? Why did we have to be apart, just when we had finally found each-other, found where we both belonged.. together.
I look up at the crayon blue sky, it's sunny.. so bright, warm and hopeful. I don't even recognize what those emotions are anymore, like they had been deleted when things had fallen into a spiral of heartbreak. A spiral I can't seem to find my way out of.
Letting out a breath I lean forward closer, gently placing the flowers I had brought on the ground. I know he couldn't possibly see them, but I still wish that it still counted. If that could still count, then my love.. our love, could still live on.
How many times in the past 48 hours had I thought it should of been me. Me who should have been in the building, me who had got shot. I still can remember the sounds, the feelings as I sat there with him in my arms as he bled out, slowly dying. I remember the way everything looked, a picture stamped into my memory. Something I will never be able to forget... all the blood, his blood on my hands as I tried to save him, holding down pressure on the wound. I remember like a vivid clearest picture of them all... the look in his eyes, I knew he wanted to say something... anything, but he couldn't for he was in to much pain.
Flashback
"I can't believe your doing this," I said into the phone.
"I have to, we don't know how much time before something happens," Danny replied, I could tell he was unsure as-well.
"Exactly, what if something does happen... to you!"
"Lindsay it'll be fine, I promise you."
-
He had promised me, maybe that is what hurt the most... I knew that he could never insure that nothing would happen, yet I had believed it. How stupid I was. And now, he was gone.
-
Picking up my car keys I ran as fast as my legs would go, I had a bad feeling. Danny had to be mad to go into that warehouse without back-up, sometimes the fact he was so stupid drove me mad, but now, I was scared.
"Mac, Danny's going in anyway, he called me from there." I left a message on Mac's answer machine as I made my way out into the parking lot.
"Lindsay?" Stella called in concern as I rushed past her in panic. I couldn't stop, not for anything... I had to go after him.
Getting into my car I tried calling Danny's number...
"Come on, pick up the damn phone, Danny! Oh god please." I pleaded as I turned on the ignition. I swore that if he did go into there and made it, I would kill him myself.
"Hi-"
I sighed, "Oh thank god-"
"..you've reached the phone of Detective Danny Messer. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."
"Shit," I cursed, banging my head on the steering wheel.
In what had to be a record in time I pulled up outside the warehouse, I had probably ran about twenty red lights, and most definitely nearly killed myself and other drivers at the speed I was going, who knew I could drive like that.
Spotting Danny's car I felt even more worried, I placed my hand on my glock and turned the safety off. Going up to the warehouse door my stomach went into a knot. I knew I was even more crazy to go in there by myself, anything could happen. What if Danny had everything in control, what if they had-
Taking in a deep almost calming breath, I had hoped, I pointed my glock and shined my mag-lite into the doorway. 'Lindsay what are you doing?!' Ran through my head. In all honesty I had no idea what the hell I was doing. All I knew was that I needed to find Danny.
I heard echoing voices, but I couldn't tell where they were coming from. Two maybe three voices.. Most of them were muffled, as if they were whispering.
"NYPD, put down the guns."
Danny! Oh my god. Was he mad! Taking down these maniacs by himself.
"Drop them!"
Silence. Silence is not a good sign. Oh god, what if he got hit over the head or... or...
Then it happened... open fire. The loud ringing of a automatic shot gun rang to my ears.
BANG... BANG BANG... BANG.. BANG.
'Fuck it' I thought, shadowing the wall I ran down through metal rooms, looking for Danny. I could hear more fire, from the sound of it, Danny was firing back. Great, I was going right into the middle of a shot-out and I was going in blind, with no clue as to where Danny or the suspects were.
"Danny!" I called, knowing it was a stupid idea.. for all I knew I was right near the suspects. Also scared I might distract Danny and something would go wrong.
"Lindsay?!!" Danny called back.
I could tell he was terrified that I was there. Always worried about me. But I guess he had a right to be worried, hell even I was petrified.. I had come in here not knowing anything about the situation inside. It all came down to I wasn't thinking about me at all, he meant more to me than life itself, so coming in here I had been thinking of him and him alone.
But now I had no idea what to do.
"Danny?" I made my way in the direction of his voice. Before I could make another step though.. the shooting started again. Then I heard it...
The sound of a bullet hitting something, then someone falling to the ground...
"DANNY!?" I yelled in panic, millions of emotions rushing over me... fright, worry.. basically plain panic. My voice echoed around me and then right back at me, but there was no response.
I was about to turn a corner when I saw the two suspects fleeing out of a near by door, I had two options... go after them... or find Danny, he could be hurt but if I let them escape then their victim's families would never get justice. 'What do I do? What do I do?'... discarding my job in favor of my heart I let them go and ran around looking for Danny. But what I saw made my breath catch in my throat. He had gotten shot.
"Danny. Danny." I ran over to him, dropping onto my knees to inspect how bad his injury was. "Oh god. Danny." He was hit right in his chest, probably hit his lung.
Danny looked up at me and instantly smiled, "Montana." Was the only word he could squeeze out. I shook my head laughing, although my eyes had welled up with tears. One thing he had the chance to say and it was that... typical.
"Danny, you're going to be okay you hear me? I'm right here with you, everything is going to be...--fine." I hoped.
Lifting his head I pulled him into my lap, holding onto him with everything I had. Putting my hand to his cheek I looked into his eyes, "You have to hang on, you can't give up. Okay?" I told him, pleading for him to fight for his life. I could see his eyes drooping, I started to cry, he couldn't leave, not like this.
I looked down at his bleeding stomach and placed one of my hands onto it applying pressure. With my other hand it gently patted his cheek, "Danny! Danny. Please keep your eyes open, look at me. Please don't die on me... you-" I was crying hard now, "... you-- you can't die. I love you too damn much."
He looked at me, a small smile coming on his face but it wavered. He tried opening his mouth to say something but I stopped him, "Don't speak. It's okay. Save your energy for making it through this..."
I looked down at my hand that was failing at trying to stop him from bleeding.. my hand was covered in his blood. I put my other hand to my mouth and tried to stop my sobbing, but I couldn't.. this was bad, real bad. "Oh god," I locked gaze with his blue eyes, "Danny."
I don't know how he had the strength but he lifted his hand to my face, then tangling it in my curls. I was crying so much by that point I couldn't say anything, it was going into a dehydrating state. I leant down and kissed him, I was shaking, my head was spinning and my heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to collapse. He started coughing up blood, and I knew this was it.. he wasn't going to make it. I took his hand in mine.
"You can't die on me! I love you so much. Oh Danny." I pulled him even closer to me, I didn't care I was getting covered in blood. My face was an inch away from his, blue and brown eyes intwining. I felt him slipping away, his grip on my hand was loosening and his eyes were closing.
"Danny!" I was in hysterics now, sobbing and in panic. His hand went limp and his head fell to one side. "Somebody help! Anyone... HELP!" I put both of my hands on his face, "DANNY! No!" I cried into his chest.
I heard sirens surrounding the warehouse, but it was just me and him. The SWAT team came storming in followed by Mac calling me and Danny.
Mac came up next to me but I didn't look up, "Get the EMT's in here, NOW!" He yelled.
"It's too late, it's too late Mac," I cried, rocking Danny's body in my arms.
Mac lent over to Danny and felt for a pulse, but didn't find it. He sighed and I saw a tear run down his face. "Lindsay," He said trying to pull me away, "He's gone Lindsay, you have to let him go."
"I can't," I whispered. "He wouldn't let me go."
----
I don't know what happened after that, time seemed to just not exist. Everything blank.
As I sat at Danny's grave I just stared. Not sure of what to do anymore.I couldn't stop the tears now they just came flooding, the damn in my heart had broken.
"You son-of-a-bitch," I cursed slamming my hand on the stone. "Damn you, Danny. Why did you leave me like this?" I asked angrily, trying to be mad at him even now was impossible.
I lay down on the some what damp grass, feeling close to the man who even now held my heart.
Years later. .
Even to this day I miss him, 'miss' is not even close to how my heart aches when I think of all the things that I have lost, how he loved me, how we were happy and how in a moment everything changed.
We had it all... and yet now... it meant nothing compared to how much I still love him.
"I love you Danny Messer."
End.
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Please read & review.
Thank you.
Lila xo
Note: For those of you that have read '7 Days, Flirting and Excuses' An update will be coming soon!
